"Fair duel?" Gintoki suddenly showed interest. "I think kendo is a fair way for men to duel—just like real samurai."
"...You really think a kendo teacher dueling three people who've never practiced is fair?"
"That's literally bullying!"
"Damn it, come duel me with cards if you've got the guts!"
"And it's not exactly fair to duel someone who's never watched Yu-Gi-Oh! either!"
Gintoki flat-out rejected the card game idea. Zero sense of responsibility as a teacher.
"Come on now, Sensei," Shiro said with a grin, stepping in. "We did say a fair duel—both sides have to agree to the terms."
"We've got six people here, right? So how about a 1v1 tournament? Just like your course title implies!"
"Oh? But how do we make it fair? Pick something all six of us are good at?"
Now Gintoki was curious. He didn't think this squinty-eyed brat could suggest anything fun.
"With six people, that's tricky," Shiro nodded. "But since it's 1v1 matches, how about this—we do three duels. Each side picks one event, and the third one will be mutually agreed upon."
Gintoki found this fairly reasonable.
But...
"If there are three matches… what's the third one?"
Ah, there's the rub. One of the duels had to be neutral—agreed on by both parties.
Shiro smiled again. This was where it all hinged.
Pushing up imaginary glasses, he continued,
"Kohei and Glasses-kun over there are kindred spirits. Since they're like-minded, how about settling it with a galgame duel?"
!!!
The moment Shiro said it, two intense virtual flames ignited on the field. The sheer aura forced the others to step back.
"Shinpachi! This could be a trap. You can't trust them!"
"Shinpachi, stay calm, aru!"
But Shinpachi, fired up with otaku spirit, ignored both Gintoki and Kagura. Having lost once already, how could he possibly turn down this challenge?
It was a galgame! As a hardcore otaku, there was no way he'd back down now!
"Gin-san, Kagura-chan… let me make this choice myself!"
"Heh, looks like you're not totally hopeless after all."
Kohei's eyes gleamed with respect. It had been a long time since someone dared to challenge him in this domain.
Did they even know what it meant to have cleared 2000 galgames?!
The energy on the field was on fire. This time—it was truly on fire!
#Poke poke
"Are you sure about this? That glasses guy seems like an even more deranged otaku than Kohei…"
Iori asked in a whisper—this was the first time he'd seen someone whose otaku aura rivaled Kohei's.
"Hmph, relax. Judging from that earlier duel, the guy with glasses is already at a disadvantage—and besides, I have a secret weapon!"
Kamishiro Shiro gave a confident smile. Since he proposed such a rule, of course, he came fully prepared!
As he spoke, he took out his phone. "So, how about I be the one to decide the galgame we'll play?"
"No way! That's totally unfair. Who knows if you'll pick a game you've already cleared or something!" Gintoki snapped.
Even if he couldn't stop Shinpachi, he couldn't let the other side keep gaining advantages either!
"Then Curly Sensei, do you have any galgame recommendations?"
"You bastard, what kind of stupid nickname is that, Squinty Eyes?! Show some respect to your sensei!"
Kamishiro Shiro shrugged, ignoring Gintoki's impotent rage, and continued speaking to the two about to face off in a clash of auras.
"This is a brand new game, by the way. 'Fantasy Otaku-chan'—I'm sure you've heard of it?"
!!!
"'Fantasy Otaku-chan'?!"
"That super hyped-up galgame?! Wasn't it supposed to come out next year?!"
Kouhei and Shinpachi stared at Kamishiro Shiro in disbelief. As die-hard otakus, of course they knew about this game.
Fantasy Otaku-chan—
It's rumored to be a galgame capable of fulfilling anyone's fetish (XP). No matter how unusual your kink, Otaku-chan can cater to it!
Of course, this applies to appearance and role types—teacher, little sister, high school girl, gentle big sis, young wife, catgirl, foxgirl, etc...
While the characters start out with set identities, that's not set in stone!
As the story progresses, their personalities change according to the player's choices.
There's even bondage, public scenarios—ahem—and more unlockable scenes. It's known for its MAX freedom!
The moment it was announced, it stirred up a frenzy in the otaku community.
Everyone's been waiting to buy it next year to see if it lives up to the hype!
Sensing their intense gazes, Kamishiro Shiro nodded in satisfaction and sent the installation file for Fantasy Otaku-chan to the two of them.
"The game's still in development, but I got a test version from a friend. The character roster isn't complete, but it's more than enough for a duel..."
"Kamishiro! From today on, you're my half-brother—no, my foster father!!"
Before he could finish, he felt a pair of sinful hands grab onto his thigh. Looking down, a large blond beast was clinging to him, shouting "foster father" repeatedly…
Even the bespectacled Shinpachi beside him had teary eyes as he stared at his phone. "Sugoi… I never imagined I'd get to beta-test such a divine masterpiece."
"..."
Kamishiro Shiro fell silent.
He'd seriously underestimated just how powerful this game was in the otaku circle.
He now wondered—if he'd just revealed this game from the start, Shinpachi might have joined their side immediately. There might've been no need for this whole duel thing at all.
"Calm down, Shinpachi! This could be part of their evil plan! The game's in Squinty Eyes' hands—maybe that blond guy has already played it…"
"Enough, Gin-san!" Shinpachi interrupted Gintoki, then pointed at the tearful, trembling Kouhei.
"That expression—there's no way that's fake. This game... this game holds our endless fantasies!!"
(???)
Looking at Kouhei's current state, even Gintoki couldn't refute him. These otakus were just too damn excited!
Still, he wasn't giving up.
"That little punk will definitely pick an easy route for his ally!"
"Shinpachi can pick the same character too, y'know～"
?(???)?
Kamishiro Shiro spread his hands nonchalantly, "But Shinpachi, you'd better think this through. This might be your only time playing this game this year. You'll have to delete the file afterward～"
!!!
At that moment, the fire in Shinpachi's eyes blazed even brighter—his aura was now starting to overpower Kouhei's.
"Shinpachi! Shinpachi!"
"No! Think of your ten Fukuzawas!"
At that moment—
Gintoki realized… it was too late.
Ding ding ding～
Fantasy Otaku-chan, launching～
The song Gokuraku Jodo (Paradise Pure Land) echoed from Kouhei and Shinpachi's phones. On screen, a parade of adorable characters in all kinds of outfits and types danced beautifully across the screen.
Delicate faces. Fetish-triggering outfits. Alluring expressions. Beast ears. Tails. Snow-white thighs～
The breathing of the two otakus immediately turned heavy. Just from this opening alone, they felt the game had already exceeded expectations!
They sat completely still, eyes glued to the screen like scanners, not daring to miss a single frame.
Otaku-chan!
With the final note, the story of Fantasy Otaku-chan officially began!
...
[Onii-chan! Onii-chan!]
The character Kouhei controlled slowly opened his eyes—to find a twin-tailed pink-haired girl, Otaku-chan, sitting on top of him.
"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!"
Kouhei let out a gorilla-like roar. This opening was absolute perfection in his mind!
Yes—as a hardcore siscon, he had firmly chosen the little sister route from the very beginning!
He didn't even bother to see what other character options there were…
But none of that mattered!
What kind of siscon could resist their little sister sitting on them, calling them to wake up?!
Especially when the setting said she was a junior high schooler and also a brocon!
Kouhei was now in a state of religious fervor.
Praise this game!
"Hah. Disgusting."
Seeing his opponent's pathetic state, Shinpachi mocked coldly. But the trembling of his own hands betrayed his inner turmoil.
On his own screen, a long black-haired Otaku-chan in a school uniform was standing shyly at the door calling his name, "Shinpachi～"
!!!
That perfect level of shyness hit Shinpachi right in his weak spot!
No, he didn't listen to Gin-san and choose the same little sister route as Kouhei!
He carefully considered multiple characters and ended up choosing his favorite template—the childhood friend!
According to the setup, they were already a pair of soon-to-graduate young lovers.
Not only did this fulfill his fantasy—it could also help him win the duel!
After all, galgames take a lot of time even for a single route.
As hardcore otakus, Kouhei and Shinpachi would need even longer to properly read all the text.
So this time, the duel would be decided by the game's first mini-checkpoint!
Even though Fantasy Otaku-chan boasts high freedom, it has a variety of early-game traps—especially before you've changed the characters' personalities.
If you're not careful, you'll get a bad ending (BE)!
And the first BE checkpoint was sunset of the first day!
That's where the victor would be decided.
If both passed, the others would just leave them to keep playing—no way they'd wait around forever for them to finish.
"Hey, how do you know so much about the internal mechanics of this game? Have you already cleared some of the routes?"
Iori pulled Kamishiro Shiro aside and whispered, wary of the white-haired guy eavesdropping.
"How could I? I'm not into those time-consuming galgames. I usually play dark stuff like Black Beast, okay? I haven't touched this one since I got it."
!!?
"Then how the hell are you so sure Kouhei will win?!"
Iori was stunned. He thought Kamishiro would take this seriously since his own fate was tied to it—but turns out this bastard was still unreliable!
Come on—how much did the white-haired guy pay you to throw the match?!
"Calm down. You have to believe that Kouhei can transcend human limits when it comes to little sisters."
"…That logic checks out, but why does it sound oddly familiar…"
"And don't you think that glasses guy is pretty good too?"
Iori glanced at the screen—Shinpachi was already out on a date with his childhood friend, while that idiot Kouhei was still drooling over his sister's beauty.
He was stuck on the breakfast scene forever! Come on, click already! Even if it's sister-made breakfast, it doesn't take that long!
It's just meaningless text and code, dammit!
And—why the hell are you crying?!
(?°?д°?)
Iori felt he might get screwed over by these two idiots sooner or later.
"Stay calm, stay calm. Everything is under control～"
Unlike Iori's frustration, Kamishiro Shiro was totally relaxed, even pulling out a bag of cookies to feed Kagura-chan.
Yep. Just like feeding a dog～
"This is totally one-sided... Wait, that childhood friend route is easy, right?"
"Of course not, you moron. The little sister and childhood friend routes are the hardest ones in the entire game!"
Kamishiro Shiro stopped keeping secrets—if he didn't say something now, the guy beside him would drive him crazy.
"Hardest? But didn't you say you never played the game?"
"Yeah, I haven't."
"Then how do you know? Did your friend tell you?"
"Nope. I'm just one of the scriptwriters for the game～"
Kamishiro Shiro spread his hands with an innocent face. Who said you had to play a game to know the plot?
"..."
Iori fell silent.
He realized—before he got screwed over by those idiots, Kamishiro Shiro might already kill him with rage.
He launched his signature Death Scissors Leg Lock again!
"You bastard! Since you knew, why didn't you have Kouhei pick an easier route?! Or at least tell him the script!"
﹌(?Д?)﹋
"I… I'm gonna die! Do you really think that guy would ever choose anyone else with a sister route available?
And you think he'd accept spoilers?"
Kamishiro's reply silenced Iori again.
He could already imagine Kouhei's face if someone spoiled the story for him.
It would be no different than gloating about having a real sister in front of him.
"Ahem, don't worry. The little sister route may be difficult for others, but for that guy Kohei, it'll be a piece of cake."
Kamishiro Shiro, now back on his feet, wore a mysterious smile. Since he dared to bring out this game, he clearly had absolute confidence in winning.
After all, both the little sister route and the childhood friend route are massive traps~
At that moment!
The two duelists triggered a new plot development!
After finishing breakfast, Kohei received a message from the beautiful class president.
Meanwhile, over on Shinpachi's side, he bumped into the class president on the street~
…
On Kohei's side;
[Kohei-kun, why didn't you come to class today?]
Reading the message on his phone, Kohei was left confused. It was clearly a game, so why was he still expected to attend class? Even in real life, he hardly went.
Just as he was wondering whether this was some new plot twist, he felt a soft and gentle sensation from behind, accompanied by Otaku-chan's sweet, syrupy voice whispering in his ear:
[Onii-chan, who was that pretty lady texting you? Are you going somewhere? You're not going to abandon Otaku-chan, are you...?]
As her voice fell, Kohei was presented with his first choice!
[A: Apologize to your little sister and smile as you say you're going to school.]
[B: Ignore her and head off to school.]
[C: Lie to the class rep, saying you're sick, under your sister's pitiful gaze.]
[D: Who needs school when you've got such a cute little sister! Block the class rep immediately.]
Ooooooh!!!
With that sweet voice, pitiful expression, and physical contact — Kohei's eyes were burning with desire.
He didn't even consider the other options, furiously clicking D!
Tap tap tap tap!!!
The frantic tapping caused even his phone to start groaning.
Upon seeing Kohei's actions, Otaku-chan beamed with a dazzling smile.
[Onii-chan, you're the best! Oh right, didn't you say you wanted to go swimming before? Let's go buy swimsuits together!]
Pfft!
In the real world, Kohei's eyes turned bloodshot, his fingers moved at lightning speed — he couldn't wait to fast-forward to the swimsuit scene.
In most other galgames, the swimsuit arc doesn't show up until the mid-game. But this game? Going all in right from the start!
An explosive opening move! And Otaku-chan... she was absurdly cute!
Damn it! Can't these useless lines go any faster!?
Through Kohei's relentless efforts, the game soon reached another decision point.
[Just as you're about to head out, you notice Otaku-chan's uniform and remember — today's a school day for her too. But she never even mentioned it. So you...]
[A: Stuff her backpack into her hands and force her to school.]
[B: Gently try to persuade her, but stand firm.]
[C: Reluctantly call in sick on her behalf.]
[D: Who cares, just take her out with you.]
DDDDD!!!!
Damn it, why are there so many meaningless choices in this game!?
Already possessed by swimsuit fever, Kohei picked the fastest route. In his eyes, school in galgames was only a setting to meet the heroines — and now the heroine was right next to him. School? Screw that!
"He's truly a scumbag."
"The fact that he doesn't have a little sister is one of the universe's greatest mercies."
"Should we call the cops?"
Once rivaling opponents, Gintoki, Kamishiro Shiro, and Iori were now somehow gathered together, watching Kohei's gameplay with looks of contempt.
A guy who stops his sister from going to school just to satisfy his desires? That's pure scum worthy of a prison cell.
"By the way, where's that little squirt?"
Just then, Iori realized the tiny terror who'd beaten him up earlier was nowhere to be found. It felt like ages since she'd last appeared.
"Ah, Kagura-chan? She went off looking for food. Say, you're not interested in her, are you? You better not be one of those 'sister-lovers' too. Give it up, that girl's not someone a runt like you can handle."
Gintoki flicked a booger as he spoke. He'd seen too many guys smitten with Kagura's lolita charm — beasts driven purely by lust. They had no idea what they were getting into.
To him, Kagura was like a daughter — no way he'd let some clueless brat have her.
That said, if Kagura left with this guy, the food situation would improve, and they no longer would have to deal with cops chasing them for property damage. Plus, he could freeload at the kid's house…
Wait, why did that suddenly sound kind of tempting!?
(???)
Seeing Gintoki's face twist into a pervy expression, Iori subtly scooted away. This guy clearly didn't understand boundaries — that musclehead girl might be the only one dumb enough to tangle with him.
Back to the game!
Thanks to Kohei's choices, he and Otaku-chan successfully headed out. The next scenes were just wholesome bonding — not much worth watching.
Everyone shifted their gaze to Shinpachi. Things seemed to be going... oddly for him since the beginning.
[Shinpachi-kun, what are you guys up to? Shopping? Count me in, count me in!]
Faced with the class rep's enthusiastic request, Shinpachi was a bit confused. Was this game dual-route?
His own choices appeared:
[Faced with the class rep's request, you choose to...]
[A: Agree]
[B: Politely decline]
[C: Ask Otaku-chan]
[D: Grab Otaku-chan and walk away]
Staring at the four options, Shinpachi hesitated. Unlike Kohei, he tried to think carefully about the game's design logic, but with too little information, he couldn't make a sound decision.
So he decided to follow his heart.
Shinpachi decisively picked C!
Outside the game, Kamishiro Shiro's lips curled into a victorious smile.
[Otaku-chan: Um... then, let's all go together.]
On-screen, Otaku-chan blushed and fiddled with her skirt hem, but her eyes carried a hint of disappointment.
[Yay!]
[Let's go then! I remember there's a great dessert shop nearby. We can all go try it!]
The class rep, overjoyed, instantly appeared beside Otaku-chan and pulled her into a tight hug.
With that, the distance between Otaku-chan and her class president subtly shifted. But Shinpachi didn't notice — he just thought it was a casual "huggy" moment.
"Such a vile game. No wonder all those shut-ins get addicted."
Gintoki sneered. This was basically the script for a winner in life. He could already see where it was going: dual-heroine conquest.
Even if it got slightly dark, it'd only be a White Album-style love triangle at best.
Not only Gintoki thought that — even Shinpachi was unknowingly walking into the trap.
Adjusting his glasses, a faint sigh escaped him. "White Album, huh... A shame nothing can ever surpass it. Not even this game."
Despite his words, his hands didn't stop. He was fully immersed.
They arrived at a boutique named Hedgehog Meow-Meow.
Otaku-chan had already changed outfits.
[Otaku-chan: Shinpachi-kun... d-does this look good on me?]
The dress hugged her slim, graceful figure, and its pristine white hue added a touch of purity. Her pale, slender legs under the skirt seemed to squirm shyly in embarrassment.
Huff huff huff!!!
Shinpachi's breathing became ragged!
Though the plot had disappointed him, this scene — this outfit — was flawless.
Just this single moment made the entire game worth buying!
Another set of choices popped up:
[A: Shyly say it looks good]
[B: Give a half-hearted response]
[C: Openly admit it looks good]
[D: Tsundere reply — say it doesn't look good]
[E: Just say no]
[F: Ask the class rep to answer]
!!!
What kind of idiot designed these!?
Shinpachi cursed internally. How could anyone say that dress didn't look good!? And six options!? What galgame gives this many!?
That said, more options did show a deeper attention to detail.
Shinpachi didn't hesitate — he picked A, which matched his true feelings.
From this moment, Shinpachi and his game character had merged into one!
[Otaku-chan: Really? I'm so happy!]
[Otaku-chan: But I still think something's off...]
[Class Rep: Zazaza~ Try these on too!]
Without offering any choices, the class rep dumped a stack of clothes into Otaku-chan's arms and proudly glanced at Shinpachi. That look made him feel… uneasy.
Otaku-chan blushed even harder at the selection but didn't refuse, heading into the changing room.
What followed was a visual feast for Shinpachi!
From soft girl to kimono, qipao, gyaru, tomboy — Otaku-chan cycled through every style imaginable.
By the halfway point, Shinpachi was numb. His lower half completely... engorged.
He didn't even notice when Kamishiro Shiro and the others had appeared behind him.
"Pfft... This is actually insane."
"So this is Otaku-chan..."
"Kamishiro! I suddenly want to play too!"
All three men clutched their noses. Even though they weren't as pure as Shinpachi, the impact still hit hard.
It was hard to believe a single boutique — Hedgehog Meow-Meow — could carry so many wildly different styles!