As everyone knows—
The pursuit of truth is always accompanied by sacrifice~
…
Previously, due to their reports, Kamishiro Shirou and the others didn't have a good relationship with Assistant Professor Ushironomiya.
What made Ushironomiya even more frustrated was that, because their reports were actually quite well written, they were passed—and even got decent grades!
Today!
It was their beloved Assistant Professor Ushironomiya's class again—this time, a lab session that required another written report!
He was determined to let those little brats experience what hell truly felt like!
Today's experiment was… the Charpy Impact Test!
…
"The so-called Charpy Impact Test involves measuring the energy difference caused by position…
Simply put, you drop this pendulum, strike the object, and record the height!"
"Ha~"
Listening to this simple experiment, Kamishiro Shirou couldn't help but let out a yawn.
Compared to the last experiment, this was nothing at all.
The method and formulas were super basic. All they needed to do was record the energy generated at various heights, calculate the minimum energy-producing height, and that was it.
Not difficult at all~
Kamishiro Shirou even thought a kid like Shiori could do it. There was no need for a genius like him to waste time on this!
"Alright, let's just breeze through it."
"Yeah…"
"So boring."
"I wanna go online."
"I want a girlfriend…"
It wasn't just Kamishiro— even Iori and the others felt how dull the experiment was and were preparing to half-ass their lab reports.
Their previous success in passing the report had given them a major confidence boost!
Shua!
As they were dozing off, a figure suddenly appeared before the seven of them.
Originally, Fujiwara and Mitarai weren't supposed to be here today due to other obligations. But since they had pissed off this petty and vindictive assistant professor last time, they very wisely decided to stay.
Assistant Professor Ushironomiya looked at the lazy seven with a big smile, "You all look so relaxed~"
Hearing his voice, and thinking again about how easy the experiment was, the students immediately began to act smug—this kind of experiment didn't need the professor at all.
"Well, obviously."
"You've seen our test scores, haven't you?"
"We did pretty great. This experiment is child's play."
"Even high schoolers could do it."
"No way we'll mess it up!"
Their faces were full of arrogance. This was a rare chance to show off!
Sure, the guy in front of them was a bit of a scumbag—but he did have genuine knowledge and could easily outclass all seven of them. To act smug in his class felt especially satisfying!
But something felt… off.
The usually annoyed Assistant Professor Ushironomiya was smiling a bit too much today…
"Heh heh~ So what you're saying is, you won't make any mistakes?"
Gulp…
Even though they suspected he was scheming something again, none of them wanted to give up the chance to brag, so they puffed up and declared, "Of course!"
Hearing their confident, enthusiastic response, Ushironomiya's grin only grew wider~
"Well, in that case—let's use this one~"
As he said that, he handed them a pink cushion.
Kamishiro Shiro took the object in his hands with a confused look—
A cushion?
And pink at that?
Was this supposed to be a hint about something?
Suddenly, scenes from a video he'd once watched with Azusa flashed through his mind.
Ugh…
Kamishiro Shiro seemed to have imagined some kind of unspeakable situation. With a look of pure disgust, he tossed the cushion to Iori.
A sinful object of unknown origin like this… best not to touch it directly!
(′｀;)?
Iori caught the cushion with a puzzled face, unsure what kind of nonsense Kamishiro Shiro was on about this time. Could it be he just didn't like the color pink?
But the cushion did feel quite comfy to the touch. Maybe the teacher thought their chairs were too hard?
"Is this… for us to sit on?"
For some reason, Yamamoto's first instinct upon grabbing the cushion was to sniff it before setting it under his butt.
"Nonono, that's not how you use it at all!"
"This little thing is going to protect you in the moments to come~"
Ushironomiya's smile remained sunny, but when he said "protect," a dangerous glint flashed through his eyes.
"Protect?"
Everyone exchanged confused looks. How was this tiny cushion supposed to protect a group of macho men with an average height of 1.7 meters?
But what came next made the meaning of "protection" horrifyingly clear.
Previously, it was mentioned that the Charpy impact test was used to measure the energy absorbed by an object when struck by a swinging hammer.
If you're confident enough in the experiment, then switching out the object for a human shouldn't be a problem, right~?
At this moment—
Kamishiro Shiro found himself in an extremely awkward situation.
His limbs had been completely shackled by iron chains, and in front of him swung a small pendulum hammer.
That's right.
He had successfully replaced the test object—
He was now the subject of the experiment.
Upon seeing him like this, everyone finally understood the real use of the cushion.
It wasn't to protect their butts.
It was to protect their fragile… regions!
"If your calculations are so precise, then it shouldn't be a problem to prevent any ruptures between the thighs, right?!"
Ushironomiya, the assistant professor, was laughing like a madman.
You dare say my experiments lack difficulty? That they're not challenging enough?
Then bring your lives and challenge them, brats!
!!!
Everyone looked at the man on stage—this high-IQ criminal—with eyes full of terror.
If this bastard had lived in ancient times, he'd definitely be the Minister of Punishment or something.
Kamishiro Shiro felt his legs trembling violently.
This was a primal fear. Even if he had steel plating over that area, it wouldn't help.
"This isn't punishment anymore!!"
"Even comedians on ridiculous game shows wouldn't use this kind of equipment!"
"This is abuse! You're literally executing private justice!"
"Are you even human?!"
"There's no way anyone's going to have descendants after this!"
"Inhumane! Absolutely inhumane!"
The students erupted in a chorus of righteous outrage. This was a pain no man could endure.
But hearing the shouting, Ushironomiya only grinned more wildly.
"Isn't this perfect? It's not like you lot will actually ever use that thing down there~"
(?°?д°?)
Bastard!
Iori and the others glared at the assistant professor, eyes blazing with fury.
Were they just insulted?
!!!
Σ(っ °Д °;)っ
"Wait! I use mine! I use it every week! So why am I the one getting tied up?!"
Kamishiro Shiro thrashed in his restraints.
They might not use it, but he definitely did!
Okay, fine, lately Kiyoko had been getting tailed by Busujima so their "fun time" was limited,
but he still had other targets!
He couldn't afford to lose that thing!
"..."
A heavy silence fell over the room.
While everything Kamishiro Shiro said was true, he had forgotten something important—
Everyone else here… was a virgin.
And Ushironomiya? No way he had a girlfriend.
The moment Kamishiro Shiro finished speaking, all seven of the others stopped arguing and turned toward him with glowing red eyes.
At that moment—
Kamishiro Shiro could feel it:
His teammates had betrayed him.
"Well, since that's settled, let's move on."
"But with seven of you, that's a bit too many for one trial…"
Ushironomiya stroked his chin, sizing them up.
Running the experiment with a group of seven might actually…
"Professor! Please don't lump us in with those three! "
"We already divided into a group of four."
"Those three pieces of trash don't deserve to be grouped with us!"
"Heh, we're good students. There's no way we'd be mixed in with that kind."
Before the professor could even finish, Yamamoto and the other three quickly drew a clear line between themselves and Kamishiro Shiro's group.
By the time Iori and Kohei realized what was happening, the four had already retreated to another test machine.
(?_? )
Scumbags!!! ×3
Kamishiro Shiro and the others looked at the four in betrayal and rage.
They'd just been on the same side—
Why the sudden backstab?
Did they even realize how deeply they'd hurt their innocent hearts?
They might never trust again!
"Yamamoto! How could you guys do this?! What about our brotherhood?!"
Kamishiro Shiro roared.
If all seven of them stayed together, they could defeat the demon—just like last time!
But he'd underestimated human nature…
Yamamoto scratched his ear.
"Huh? Who is this idiot even talking to? Nojima, do you know him?"
"No clue. Probably some troublemaker."
"Troublemakers, huh? As good students, we hate troublemakers the most."
"That's right! We'd never stoop to their level!"
"Anyway, it's getting late."
"Let's go have some fun with our experiment~"
With that, Iori and Kohei tried to sneak over to Yamamoto's group,
since they'd just been helping them criticize Kamishiro Shiro.
But in the next second—
BAM!
BAM!
Iori and Kohei were launched back by the idiot squad and landed next to Kamishiro Shiro.
"Back to your own group, you delinquents!"
(???)
Kamishiro Shiro stared at the two in silence.
What shocked him wasn't just that they tried to abandon him—
It was the lack of shame in their eyes.
All he could see was regret… and frustration.
"You guys really were going to abandon me…"
"We just… yearned for the freedom of the other group's experiment!"
"Doing an experiment with only three people is just so… lonely!"
Trash!
Kamishiro Shiro wanted to strangle them on the spot.
Unfortunately… he was already the one tied down.
"Well then, seems like the teams are set~"
Ushironomiya finally spoke, voice full of amusement.
He loved watching students tear each other apart!
"So it's just you three. The experiment will be run four times.
If even one test breaks the target, you get zero points."
!!!
FOUR TIMES?!
Kamishiro Shiro and the others' faces twisted in horror.
And when they saw that Yamamoto's group had normal experimental setups, their faces twisted even more.
"That damn professor! Four times…"
"God help us if your junk turns into scrambled eggs after this Kamishiro…"
(?°?д°?)
"FOUR TIMES?! No way am I doing all four, you bastards!"
He'd rather someone literally remove it with surgical tools. At least it'd be cleaner!
Tch.
Iori and Kohei clicked their tongues.
Out of basic human decency, they had to admit—
Making one person take all four hits was a bit much.
That lunatic Ushironomiya was insane enough to give zero points for even one failed impact.
So they couldn't afford to gamble on a low swing.
Each hammer strike had to hit the target perfectly.
The scoring would be based on the precision with which the pendulum destroyed the target.
Which meant…
The first swing needed to be REALLY high.
And whoever went first… was basically dead meat.
All three of them realized this.
They glanced at each other—
And Iori and Kohei nodded at the same time.
"Well then, Kamishiro, ready?"
"It's about to begin."
???!!
"Wait a sec! That look just now—I clearly meant we should settle it with rock-paper-scissors! You two cheated!"
Sweat dripped from Kamishiro Shiro's forehead.
He was panicking now.
Because he knew these two jerks wouldn't hold back—
They'd go for maximum height without hesitation!
"I have another idea!" Kamishiro Shirou hurriedly said, desperate to avoid taking the hit.
"What idea?"
Iori and Kohei turned to him. As long as it didn't involve them taking the first blow, they were open to anything.
"Think about it—the Charpy impact test is a really old experiment. Past students must've done it too. We just need to ask the seniors for their data!"
!
The two lit up at the suggestion. It was indeed a perfect plan.
"I'll contact Senior Kotobuki!"
Kohei, who was adjusting the pendulum's height, immediately pulled out his phone. Seniors were proving useful after all.
*Ding~*
Just as he was about to message Senior Kotobuki, he noticed a new update from a voice actress he followed.
It was an interview about Kaya Mizuki .
*Famous voice actress Ms. Kaya Mizuki reveals she once had an unforgettable secret crush, and the guy's defining trait was… narrow eyes!!!*
"…"
Kohei's hand trembled as he held his phone. At that moment, his mind was consumed by the words "narrow eyes."
"What's wrong? Did Senior Kotobuki not pick up?"
Iori looked at his buddy, puzzled. Why did Kohei look like his dreams had just shattered?
But Kohei ignored Iori, silently staring at the news, his hand unconsciously raising the pendulum higher.
∑(?д??lll)
"Holy crap, Kohei, what the hell are you doing?! Let go, let go… no, don't let go!!!"
Too late.
At the pendulum's maximum height, Kohei released it.
Shirou, unable to break free, could only watch in despair as the pendulum swung closer.
In that moment…
His soul ascended~
Ahhh!!!!!
Oh~ Yeah~
---
"Ugh…"
In the classroom, a figure with narrow eyes was curled up on the floor, groaning in pain. In that split second, Shirou felt like he'd glimpsed the departed giants of physics. Indeed, truth always comes with sacrifice.
But…
Why was it *his* little buddy that had to pay the price?!
(*?????)
If he hadn't instinctively leaned back at the last second to lessen the impact, his little buddy would've been done for!
The idiot quartet nearby felt a chill in their lower regions as they watched Shirou's misery. They quickly turned back to their boring, routine experiment.
They were beyond grateful they'd already distanced themselves from those three. Otherwise, their own little buddies might've been in danger too!
As the saying goes: you might not use it, but you can't *not* have it!
That machine was practically a eunuch-maker!!!
…
It took a long time for Shirou to recover from the inhuman pain.
His first act was to pounce on Kohei like a vengeful demon.
"You did that on purpose, didn't you?!"
It had to be intentional. Who in their right mind would raise the pendulum to its maximum height after knowing it was aimed at a person?
"Narrow eyes, narrow eyes…"
But Kohei seemed to have lost his mind, muttering those three words repeatedly, oblivious even to being nearly strangled.
(???)
Only then did Shirou and Iori realize something was seriously wrong with him. They snatched his phone to see what was going on.
And then they saw the news about Kaya Mizuki …
!!!
Shirou's narrow eyes widened in shock!
What the hell!
Why was she blabbing everything to the public?!
Shirou started to panic. Truth be told, he'd already recognized Kaya Mizuki during the last Oumi Academy festival.
Not as the voice actress, of course, but as someone else…
Once, in a Tokyo bar, Shirou had met a woman drowning her sorrows over a career setback. With his "kind" encouragement, she'd regained her spark, and then…
AHHHH!!!
It was supposed to be a normal high schooler picking up an older woman in a bar storyline. How did it suddenly take such a turn?
The older woman transformed into the hottest voice actress of the moment? And now she was announcing to the world that she liked a guy with narrow eyes?
What was a light novel plot turned into some urban drama: *Dominant Female Voice Actress Falls for Me*?!
Wait, does that mean Kohei didn't hit the wrong guy just now?
No way!
He absolutely couldn't let Kohei find out!
Looking at Kohei, who was still kneeling and wailing, Shirou resolved that this guy could *never* know. Otherwise, it wouldn't just be his little buddy's life at stake—his own life would be in danger too!
" Kaya Mizuki ? Isn't that the sister of makeup zombie's friend Kanako?" Iori rubbed his chin. He vaguely remembered the name; she was on the same level as Azusa-nee. But narrow eyes…
His gaze turned suspicious as he looked at his childhood friend. "Why do I feel like this has something to do with you?"
(;?＿?)
Shirou guiltily averted his eyes. Were idiots' intuitions *this* sharp now?!
"What are you talking about? How could I know a big celebrity like that? My high school side gigs didn't exactly involve stars." Shirou wiped the cold sweat from his forehead. Who'd have thought a casual bar flirt would lead to meeting a celebrity?
"Let's just get on with the next experiment. Kohei's in bad shape—he needs the experiment to snap out of his pain!"
Iori, who'd been deep in thought, lit up at the suggestion. Great idea!
It was a brilliant idea. When someone's in that kind of emotional rut, a little external stimulation could wake them right up~
Both of them grinned mischievously, then skipped cheerfully toward the despondent Kohei.
…
Kohei opened his eyes, his face full of grief. Just moments ago, he'd felt his body being dragged.
When he looked up, a black pendulum was swinging right in front of him. A quick calculation told him exactly where it would land… No surprise, it was aimed at his ??
Σ(っ °Д °;)っ
"What the hell?! How did I end up here?!"
The fear of the iron hammer snapped him out of his sorrow. If that thing hit, his dreams would be over!
"Oh? You're awake? We saw you pass out, so Kitahara and I were trying to figure out how to wake you up."
Shirou looked at Kohei with mild surprise. He'd thought the guy would stay out longer. Guess the shock wasn't enough.
!!!
"You two scumbags! This is taking advantage of someone in distress!"
Kohei frantically shook the chains binding him. Who'd believe that excuse? There were plenty of other ways to wake him up!
"Well, accept reality, Kohei. It's your turn anyway. Besides, think about it—you're into 2D characters. You don't even need *that* thing."
Iori shrugged. Since they'd been caught, no point pretending anymore. Kohei was already strapped in.
"Wait! Listen up! My eggs aren't just any eggs!"
His words caught Shirou and Iori's attention. They were curious—what made *his* eggs so special? Could they break the dimensional wall or something?
"My eggs exist for all the junior high girls who see me as their Onii-chan!"
(???)
"…"
The statement was so explosive that it was met with nothing but stunned silence from the two.
Then, without hesitation, Shirou released the iron ball, already set to the confirmed height.
Scum like this was better off without *that* thing.
!!!∑(°Д°ノ)ノ
"No, wait, hold on! I've got… AHHHH!!!"
Bullseye!
…
"Ugh…"
Having endured unbearable pain, Kohei was now speechless, temporarily robbed of his ability to talk.
"Guess 150 degrees was still too high."
"Of course it was! Yours was 160 degrees! For the next experiment, we need to be more careful!"
Iori even considered adjusting the height himself. Letting this idiot handle it felt way too unsafe.
The 160-degree impact was already brutal—how did this moron think 150 degrees was a good idea for the next one?
"No need, really. We can just reduce it by 10 degrees each time and test it out." Having already taken a hit, Shirou was determined not to let this guy off the hook!
"…I'm just gonna ask the seniors."
Iori gave up on finding answers himself. He wasn't about to let his eggs go to waste before he even got to use them.
The other two? One had already used his, and the other probably never would—they didn't care about losing them.
But Iori was different!
He was just an ordinary college student. He'd definitely get to use his, even if it was at a soapland!
*Smack!*
Iori's hand, reaching for his phone, was stopped.
Shirou smiled. "No need to bother the seniors over a little experiment like this, right~?"
"It's *because* it's a small experiment that it's fine to cheat a little."
Both of them were grinning, looking like the best of buddies to anyone who didn't know better.
But the two hands, veins popping as they wrestled for control, gave them away~
(?′ω`? )
"I… I have an old lab report…"
Just as the two were locked in their standoff, Kohei's weak voice broke through.
Here is the complete English translation of:
The two turned to look—only to see Kohei trembling as he pulled out a thick stack of reports. These had been drunkenly handed to him by a senior in their club some time ago. At the time, he'd nearly thrown them away as scrap paper.
!!!
Iori's eyes lit up the moment he saw the reports. This—this was his life-saving straw!
Without hesitation, he lifted Kohei up and even protectively shielded him behind his back. Now this is a true brother!
Before Shiro could even react, Iori had already strapped himself into the experimental device and even gave Kohei a big thumbs-up!
"..."
Shiro, who silently watched all this unfold, twitched at the corner of his mouth. He had no idea where this idiot got the courage to actually believe in Kohei.
He'd clearly seen that red glint in Kohei's eyes earlier.
Did he really think Kohei was big-hearted enough to forgive the guy who had subjected his balls to such trauma?
Sure enough—
The very next second, Kohei, who'd looked completely deflated moments ago, suddenly did a flawless kip-up from the floor and eagerly adjusted the pendulum to the exact height written in the report.
Looking at Kohei's excited expression, Iori began to feel like he'd been duped.
But he had checked the report earlier—the formula on it seemed solid, and the 138-degree angle should be correct. Kohei had matched it exactly.
"Hey, Kitahara," Kohei casually said, "just so you know, the feedback that bastard gave on this report was…"
Kohei's expression twisted into a demonic grin.
"Completely wrong! Do it over!!"
!!!
At that moment—
Iori swore to never trust his two so-called friends again.
Bang!
"My balls!!
My BALLS!!!"
...
#twitch
"Tsk tsk, this isn't much different from 140 degrees," Shiro muttered as he shook his head while looking at Iori's pitiful state. Idiots like this really don't deserve to live in this world…
"So, whose report was this?" he asked, tilting his head. Messing up such a simple experiment—it has to be a failing student.
"Oh, it's that Afro-haired senior's."
"Huh? Isn't he a chemistry major?!"
"Yeah, but he took that bastard's elective."
"…Truly a man of courage."
In Shiro's eyes, that Afro-haired senior suddenly became a towering figure. To dare take Professor Ushironomiya's class—that's savage.
But that wasn't important right now. What was important was their experiment. They still had one chance left.
However…
It seemed they didn't really need it anymore.
Shiro carefully examined the experimental report. The formulas and such were all correct—just one step had an error.
With that in mind, Shiro picked up a pen and began recalculating. This is where I shine!
"Damn it… what the hell are you two idiots doing?"
Iori, now conscious again, was about to take his revenge on Kohei—until he saw the two of them frantically scribbling calculations.
"Oh, you're awake," Shiro said. "We found the mistake in the report. Just need to recalculate."
With that, he handed the corrected version to Iori.
At the same time, Kohei also finished his own calculations—same result. The angle should be 101 degrees.
Iori looked at them skeptically. "So we're saying we already have the answer now?"
"Of course!"
"I'm a genius, remember?"
Both nodded with smug confidence. After all, they had been accepted into Izu University.
"So… who's doing the fourth experiment?"
"..."
Their confidence vanished instantly. Even if they trusted their calculations, that didn't mean either of them wanted to be the lab rat again.
Just looking at the pendulum made Shiro's knees weak.
"Do we really have to do this fourth experiment…?"
"Since we already have the numbers, can't we just simulate it with a dummy?"
"But…"
Iori didn't want to go through it again either—but he didn't think it was that simple. He pointed at the surveillance camera in the corner of the room.
"..."
A weird silence fell over the scene. A dark shadow loomed over the trio's expressions.
A teacher… should not—and must not—distrust their students enough to actually check the surveillance footage… right…?
"..."
That bastard totally would!!!
All three of them screamed internally. Even after such a short time, they all understood what kind of teacher Ushironomiya was—a man without a shred of shame. Checking camera footage to verify the experiment? Absolutely his style.
Which meant—
The fourth experiment had to be carried out.
In perfect sync, the three of them turned their gaze toward the other groups.
Unfortunately…
Because their experiment had already dragged on for so long, no other groups were still working. Only the three of them remained.
"No choice then… Shiro, looks like we'll have to sacrifice you again. Don't worry—this time we're 100% sure!"
"Rest in peace, Shiro!"
(?°?д°?)
"You bastards! Why do you just assume it has to be me?!"
Shiro glared at them furiously. These two were obviously jealous that his balls were stronger than theirs!
"You damn normie deserve to suffer!"
"Besides, you've already been through it once—no need to get used to it again!"
The two got more heated as they spoke, even reaching out to drag Shiro onto the machine!
"Wait! Hold up!!" Shiro yelled. The scene felt dangerously familiar. He couldn't go through that again—his balls hadn't even recovered yet!
"I know the perfect test subject!"
He turned his gaze toward the hallway—where the assistant professor had disappeared, presumably off to slack somewhere.
"You mean…"
"That bastard?"
As Shiro's good friends, Iori and Kohei immediately understood what he meant. But…
"If it's him, isn't 101 degrees kind of a bargain?"
"Why not just go full power?"
Their eyes lit up with excitement. If the subject was Professor Ushironomiya, they didn't care if the angle was correct or not!
Seeing their excitement, Shiro also smiled. "Don't worry—I've got a plan!"
...
"Professor Ushironomiya! Please teach us!"
"We were wrong, Professor!"
"We shouldn't have doubted you!"
As the assistant professor returned from his slacking, he was instantly swarmed by the three students, clinging to his leg.
At first, he thought it was some kind of terror attack. Turned out to be three delinquent students admitting fault.
At that moment—
Ushironomiya's vanity was thoroughly satisfied. They just called me 'professor'!
A victorious grin appeared on his face as he made a grand gesture. "Finally realized how naive you were, huh? Very well! Let this professor teach you properly!"
And then—
Ushironomiya's face turned pitch black as he became the test subject.
"Well then, we'll leave the demonstration to you."
"Could you spread your legs a bit more?"
"If you don't tense your abs, you might die."
Pft!
"You're still too young," Ushironomiya sneered even as he was used as a guinea pig. "Do you really think I, your professor, would miscalculate?!"
He'd conducted this experiment hundreds of times. Every step was second nature to him.
"Set the angle to 101 degrees!"
He barked out orders with confidence. If everything went right, the pendulum would stop exactly 1mm before his… important region.
Behold, my pitiful students!
Feast your eyes upon your professor's majesty—majesty!!!
Just as he struck a confident pose, his face froze.
He had just noticed something fatal.
The weight had been changed—it was now 300g!
Which meant—
The pendulum swung.
His abs tensed.
BANG!
Oh
Yeah～