While Kamishiro was examining the low-end lie detector, he suddenly had a bad feeling.
"Hey Professor, are you sure this isn't just a toy?"
Iori fiddled with the lie detector (priced at 1980 yen) as she asked.
From the price and the design, it looked like something you'd use to scam little kids.
"With something like this, how could you even begin to prove anything…"
"There's no way it's reliable."
Yamamoto and the others also doubted the toy's credibility. Its design was so simple they could easily replicate it after taking it apart once.
Faced with their skepticism, Ushironomiya shouted, "You ignorant fools with no learning!"
"Huh?"
Kamishiro and the others were baffled. They inspected the lie detector again…
Still just a 1980-yen toy.
"What's so special about it?"
Kamishiro asked in confusion. As someone who had studied lie detectors in-depth, he could easily build a better one.
He had field-tested experience!
"Do you even understand how this thing works?"
They looked at each other. As mechanical engineering students at Izu University, they did have some basic knowledge.
"I think it detects lies by measuring changes in blood pressure and heart rate, right?"
In short, it's just a blood pressure monitor with an alarm system attached.
It can catch the slight physiological changes that occur when someone lies.
But if it's only that…
Iori: "Then there's no point in even testing."
Kamishiro: "These people lie like they breathe."
Kouhei: "Their blood pressure and heart rate won't budge at all."
Exactly!
As top-tier scumbags, they're all expert liars. How could such a toy detect anything from them?
"I already knew that!"
Ushironomiya revealed a smug, all-knowing expression. Of course he knew a basic lie detector was useless against these degenerates!
Besides, what he wanted wasn't just data—he wanted to punish them! A lie detector alone wouldn't cut it!
He was still pantsless while lecturing, after all!
"So… we'll use the wisdom of the engineering department!"
"The wisdom of the engineering department?"
Kamishiro tilted his head. Did their department… really have any wisdom?
Let's think about the past semester.
Besides a few girls, the department was filled with muscleheads. Beast-level muscleheads.
How could such people possibly be wise?
Every time Kamishiro thought about them, he worried deeply for Izu University's future.
A delinquent university!
Ushironomiya just smiled mysteriously, not answering immediately.
Then, to everyone's shock, he began sticking his butt in the air while assembling something.
If he'd been wearing pants, Kamishiro wouldn't have hesitated to deliver a Thousand Years of Death.
But…
He wasn't wearing pants. He was in full free-fall mode down below.
Forget attacking him—they didn't even dare look, afraid they might develop an eye condition!
Five minutes later—
Satisfied, Associate Professor Ushironomiya stood up and admired his creation.
"Alright! Come admire your professor's great invention!"
He turned around proudly to show it off to his dumbass students.
Even though it was rushed, he could totally turn this into a research paper!
"On the Combined Effects of the Charpy Impact Test and Lie Detection"
That's right!
In just five minutes, he had perfectly combined the Charpy impact test with a lie detector.
This idea was truly unprecedented!
With the threat of the Charpy impact test, even veteran liars would instinctively get nervous when lying.
That nervousness would show up in their blood pressure and heart rate!
And at that moment…
The Charpy test would be triggered!
Ushironomiya could already imagine these bastards suffering after their lies were exposed!
After all… there was no way they wouldn't lie!
This is what you get for messing with this professor!
Heheheheh~
The professor laughed maniacally.
And then…
He suddenly realized something was off—why was the room so quiet?
He turned to look at his idiot students.
Only to see…
At some point, they had all turned their backs to him, admiring the scenery outside the window.
In an instant, Ushironomiya felt his blood pressure shoot through the roof.
"You bastards!!! Come lie already!!!"
So I can hit you with a hammer!
Upon hearing that,
Kamishiro and the others froze for a moment. Then, they huddled together as if they were conspiring about something.
One minute later—
Kamishiro, who had lost at rock-paper-scissors, was pushed out.
Having just experienced hell, Kamishiro now looked at Assistant Professor Ushiromiya's face and, for some reason, found it inexplicably handsome.
Then—
With a serious expression, Kamishiro patted the assistant professor on the shoulder and said, "Professor, I know a really good doctor for hemorrhoids!
If it doesn't get better... you should consider surgery. If you let it drag on any longer... it might mutate!"
This is Japan, after all!
Everything has the potential to mutate here!
Ushiromiya blinked in confusion, still not understanding what this bastard was talking about.
Until he followed the bastard's gaze toward his own backside...
In an instant—
He understood.
"AAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!"
His privacy exposed, Assistant Professor Ushiromiya screamed and bolted toward his office like a madman.
Pants!
He needed a pair of pants!!!
Hallway
The principal, accompanied by his secretary, was inspecting preparations for the new school term.
Looking at the energetic faces of the students, the principal smiled with satisfaction.
At his age, he had no ambition left.
Just being able to see the students and school improve day by day was enough.
"How nice, everyone is still so full of energy~"
"It's all thanks to you, Principal."
"Hahaha, you never stop trying to cheer me up."
The principal looked even happier after hearing the secretary's praise.
Men, no matter their age, can never resist compliments from a pretty lady~
Boom!
Just as the principal was thinking of heading back to his office for tea—
A black-and-white blur shot past him.
The gust of wind almost blew off his antique glasses.
The principal vaguely caught sight of a strange hairstyle... and a snow-white butt.
"..."
Good news: The teachers are also full of energy, not slacking off despite the vacation.
Bad news: The teachers have too much energy.
(ˉ?ˉ;)
The principal, unable to catch his breath, fainted on the spot.
"Principal! Principal!!!"
"Tsk tsk tsk, you have to admit—even though this assistant professor is kind of a scumbag, he's still incredibly capable."
Kamishiro examined the machine that looked like a hybrid between a Charpy impact tester and a lie detector, and couldn't help but sigh in admiration.
What kind of scummy genius do you have to be to come up with something like this?
"With this hammer, even we wouldn't be able to stay calm while lying."
"No wonder he's an assistant professor!"
Iori and Kohei also gave their nods of approval at the contraption.
Now, they needed someone to test the machine!
Kamishiro: "Just in case, Yamamoto, you go and try telling a random lie first!"
"Eh? Me?"
Yamamoto looked nervous. Using his eggs () to block a massive hammer? Wasn't that just suicide?
"It's fine. You don't need to go inside—just place your hand on the lie detector."
There was still a dummy on the execution platform. A real person wasn't needed just yet.
At that, Yamamoto scratched his belly and walked up.
But when it came to lying...
"I dunno what to say on the spot."
Yamamoto hesitated. He was a model student—both in behavior and academics!
"Just say anything. We believe in you!"
Kamishiro's eyes were full of encouragement. When it came to lying, he had never doubted a single person present!
"Well... I've never told a lie in my life…"
Clang!
The moment Yamamoto finished speaking, the hammer on the machine suddenly came crashing down toward the dummy at a devastating speed!
Bam!
Crash, crackle~
Unsurprisingly, the plastic-assembled dummy instantly returned to its factory settings—
A pile of plastic scraps.
Mitara and Nojima watched in deadpan silence, as if they had just witnessed their own imminent fate.
There's no way anyone could survive getting hit by that thing!
Meanwhile—
Kamishiro and the other two stroked their chins and took notes like researchers.
Iori: "Hmm, no abnormal movements."
Kohei: "Test rig still performs perfectly."
Kamishiro: "Destructive force is just right."
Yamamoto: "Hey hey hey, something's not right here. One of my strong points is that I don't lie."
Buzz buzz buzz~
Kamishiro stared blankly at the loudly buzzing lie detector. "That's enough, Yamamoto. Any more lies and the machine might break from overwork."
Truly not a single word of truth!
"All right, everything's working. It's your turn now."
"Let's start with the most obvious liar."
Everyone turned their eyes toward Nojima.
Those were the eyes—
Of hungry wolves!
Graduate?
With your sorry ass? Not a chance!
Nojima shuddered. After seeing the dummy smashed to bits, how could he dare go up now?
He turned and ran toward the door. "What kind of nonsense is this?!
All of you actually think I'm lying—I'm not okay with that, I'm out of here!"
Right now, that classroom door was no longer just a door—it was his hope of survival!
Unfortunately—
This was the den of hungry wolves.
Thud!
Nojima was tackled to the ground by Yamamoto. His legs were quickly tied up by Iori.
"Aiya aiya~"
"You can't leave until the truth comes out~"
Everyone grinned menacingly at Nojima. Honestly, his attempted escape already confirmed he was lying earlier.
But... these animals would never let a brother miss the chance to experience the Charpy Impact Test!
Seeing the mockery in everyone's eyes, Nojima felt insulted. This was an insult to himself—and to Elena!
He shouted in protest, "I wasn't trying to run away!!!"
"Then what were you doing?"
"I was just annoyed you said I was the most obvious liar, that's all!"
"Oh, so that's how it is."
Iori nodded. "A dying man's struggle. But since you're so insistent, we'll grant your wish. Kohei, you go test it."
Kohei: "Oh, no problem."
He put down his manga. As long as he told the truth, there was nothing to be afraid of.
Might as well grant a condemned man's final wish.
One minute later
Kohei's arms and legs were strapped to the execution platform, identical to the earlier Charpy test setup.
Same perspective. Same hammer…
Thinking of the deadly blow delivered earlier, Kohei instinctively gulped.
This psychological pressure was real.
He now believed—no one could lie under these conditions.
Kohei: "So basically, as long as I tell the truth, I'll be fine?"
Kamishiro: "That's right."
Iori: "Just say anything you like."
Hearing that, Kohei mentally prepared himself. He planned to confess something he hadn't told anyone before.
"Actually, I've never said this before…"
He paused here, thinking about which secret to reveal.
Who would have thought that just that one-second pause would trigger the lie detector!
Buzz buzz buzz!
Hearing the sound, Kohei's eyes widened in disbelief as he stared at the iron hammer, silently praying that the metal chunk wouldn't come crashing down.
Prayer failed~
Whoosh—
Kamishiro and the others seemed to hear the sound of an eggshell cracking—
Bang!
The test was over. The only thing left on site was Kohei, curled up and twitching, holding his crotch.
"W-why…"
(;?＿?)
"Maybe... because you were lying just now."
(You clearly said something, but then claimed you didn't...)
Kamishiro stared at the lie detector in fear. It had flagged him as lying before he even finished speaking! This thing is totally not intelligent at all!
"There's absolutely no safety assurance with this!"
Yamamoto felt immensely relieved that he didn't have to go up next.
Because…
His bluffing skills weren't good enough to make this group of degenerates jealous.
(っ╥╯﹏╰╥c)
Damn it.
Even though he didn't have to go up, why did he still feel so heartbroken?