Seeing that expression, Mitari could already picture his fate.
Couldn't Rie's teacher cancel class for once?
Maybe teach for three days straight to push herself and the students to their limits?
He'd even help apply for a Guinness World Record!
But even someone as dense as Mitari knew—
That was completely impossible.
With a bitter smile of resignation, just as he was about to accept his fate, he suddenly thought of something important!
"How the hell does a scumbag like you have Rie's LINE?!"
Mitari stared at Kamishiro in disbelief, feeling as if a green hat had appeared on his head.
"Chill, she added me. Said she wanted me to keep an eye on you..."
Kamishiro didn't spell it out, but Mitari understood immediately.
"So... you bastard, you were the damn informant?!"
Mitari shook Kamishiro violently. No wonder Rie always caught him flirting with girls so accurately last semester.
So this was the reason!
Unforgivable!
(;☉_☉)
"Cough, well… I didn't have a choice."
Kamishiro didn't dare look into Mitari's furious eyes. He hadn't wanted to betray his stand-in.
But Rie paid him.
Monthly, no less~
Thinking about it, Mitari actually was kind of pitiful.
His girlfriend used their future shared finances to hire someone to spy on her own boyfriend...
Yep. Real tragic.
For a moment, Kamashiro Shirou even considered maybe turning a blind eye in the future...
What a pity—his damn professional ethics just wouldn't allow it.
"AAAAHHHHH!!! DAMN IT!!!"
Mitari howled in impotent rage. He had just tried it.
And it turned out that a stand-in really couldn't defeat the original.
Iori and the others chose to watch the show instead.
Compared to Mitari's life-or-death situation, they were more interested in whether what he said earlier was actually true.
"So... you really had a fan club in middle school?"
"Of course I did!"
Mitari replied firmly. At this point, if he denied it, wouldn't that mean he died in vain a few hours later?
"I don't believe it! I refuse to believe it!"
Iori couldn't accept this reality. How could this little punk possibly have something you only see on TV?
"Oh? What's the matter, don't you guys have any experiences worth bragging about?"
Mitari's face was twisted. Having suffered such a major setback, he wanted to enjoy the superiority of mocking others from a high ground in what might be the last moments of his life!
Iori: "Nonsense!"
Yamamoto: "Of course we do!"
Fujiwara: "We just didn't want to scare you by bringing it up!"
Mitari's words struck a nerve in their fragile hearts, prompting them to brag about their own past glories.
"I was the god of land battles, okay?!"
"I was a child prodigy back in the day!"
"I was called the most notorious delinquent in town!"
Faced with their rebuttals, Nojima and Mitari remained scornful.
"Aha—"
"Those backgrounds are so outdated!"
The ridicule on their faces was cranked up to max. The scene was on the verge of escalating from a war of words to actual physical combat.
At the scene—
The only two normal people chose to quietly spectate and munch on popcorn.
One was a chuunibyou (delusional teenager), who didn't care about this stuff at all.
The other… simply didn't dare to speak up.
Everyone else was lying, but his glorious past was actually real!
If he said it in front of this group of beasts, he'd probably be tossed out the window on the spot!
Just as things were spiraling out of control—
A thoroughly annoying voice rang out through the classroom.
"You're all so noisy!!"
A whole break had passed, and that damn associate professor was still as flamboyant as ever.
He backflipped from the doorway all the way to the lectern.
He landed steadily beside the podium, with a white dove calmly perched on his finger.
He really managed to pull it off!
"My class is sacred and inviolable. Sit properly even ten minutes before class begins!"
In some sense, this guy was actually kind of impressive. Though his final landing pose did resemble a duck standing up after sitting down.
That's right—
The first class of the new semester for Kamishiro Shiro and the others was with this notoriously eccentric associate professor.
Though to be fair, it wasn't technically their first class.
Because—
This session was added at the last minute due to their poor performance on the final exam for this subject last semester.
Only their small group was in the classroom...
After a whole semester with this associate professor, Kamishiro Shiro and the others were well aware of his rules.
But this time, they really couldn't hold back!
"Professor!"
"They're clearly lying!"
Yamamoto and Fujiwara were fired up!
Just earlier, Nojima and Mitari had mocked their "backgrounds," dealing them a double emotional blow!
They demanded justice!
"Oh? Lying?"
Associate Professor Ushironomiya showed a hint of interest—but only a hint.
After releasing the dove from his hand, he said with disdain, "You can't even see through that?"
Even though he hadn't heard what the brats were talking about before, he could tell just from their expressions that they were lying!
Why so confident?
Because he decided they were all lying—end of story.
It's his classroom. He makes the rules!
Kamishiro Shiro and the others weren't buying it.
Somehow, they found a stick, and while poking the two "liars," they declared:
"No, we saw through them right away."
"It's just that these two won't admit it no matter what."
What they wanted wasn't just to expose the lie—they wanted to help their friends recognize the truth about themselves!
To get them to admit it was just a fantasy!
Nojima: "But we're telling the truth!"
Mitari: "Why should I confess to anything!!"
Yamamoto: "Shut up, you two just admit it already!!!"
"Say… if you all know it's a lie, why are you so desperate to make them confess?"
Ushironomiya was baffled. Shouldn't you just laugh it off in a situation like this?
Help your friends see the truth?
Don't make him laugh!
These brats combined didn't have one correct perception among them.
Upon hearing this—
The trio led by Iori stopped poking, looked at each other—
And then calmly turned to the associate professor and said:
"If they don't admit it themselves, we'll be jealous!!!" ×3
Even if the odds were lower than winning the lottery, they needed to hear a confession to be at peace!
Ushironomiya: "…You're even more scummy than I imagined."
Seeing that they were about to start fighting again, he realized he had to do something—or else…
His sacred classroom would be destroyed by these little bastards!
Unacceptable!
"Hmph!"
Having made up his mind, Ushironomiya resumed his over-the-top theatrics, striking a dramatic pose even cosplayers at anime conventions rarely attempted.
"Fine! In that case, let's prove it using SCIENCE!"
(′｀;)?
Kamishiro Shiro and the others were dumbfounded.
"Science?"
"What kind of science?"
"Do we even have that kind of technology?"
After studying science for so many years, they honestly couldn't think of a method to distinguish truth from lies.
Lie detectors? That's psychology or maybe philosophy, right?
Seeing their confused, dumb expressions, Ushironomiya smirked with pride.
Yes—this was the feeling!
"Of course there is. Don't forget what you often see in movies."
"Movies…"
Kamishiro Shiro tried to recall what he'd seen in films, and an image of a certain device popped into his head.
His eyes widened in shock as he stared at the smug Ushironomiya.
No… it couldn't be that. That thing shouldn't even exist!
How could a mere Ushironomiya possibly have it?!
Maybe Kamishiro Shiro's gaze was too intense—Ushironomiya instantly locked onto him.
He bared his teeth in a wide grin, striking a pose like he was about to unleash his "Evil King's True Eye."
"Looks like you've figured it out. Come on—tell them the answer out loud!"
Kamishiro Shiro: Σ(っ °Д °;)っ
Say it… out loud?
Can that thing really be said out loud?
Kamishiro Shiro hesitated, but seeing everyone's eager, knowledge-hungry eyes…
There was no turning back now.
Besides, while he didn't know how Ushironomiya got his hands on that thing—
It clearly shouldn't be in his possession!
Such a dangerous object should be safeguarded by someone like him!
And letting these idiots know would make perfect cannon fodder.
After thinking it through, Kamishiro Shiro calmed down and confidently said:
"It's the Time Stopper, right?"
As the words left his mouth, a strange silence fell over the room.
Ushironomiya, still processing, blinked. Time Stopper? What the hell is that?
He was just about to say "wrong answer," when suddenly—
He could feel the intense, almost tangible killing intent surrounding him.
Looking around, he realized he had already been surrounded by demons—he didn't even know when it happened.
"Y-You… What are you doing?! I-I'm… a teacher, you know!"
Seeing those blood-red eyes staring at him, Ushironomiya swallowed hard, clearly frightened.
"Oh? A teacher?"
"This plot seems familiar… but wasn't the teacher in that one a beautiful woman?"
"Associate Professor Ushironomiya, hand it over!"
"That thing doesn't belong to you!"
It was the Time Stop Device!
The sacred relic every perverted scumbag dreams of!
"What? What the hell are you talking about? That's just… Hey, you bastard, stop pulling down my pants!
Where are you touching?!
No!
Not there either!!!"
Faced with the rough hands all over his body, Ushironomiya's resistance was completely powerless.
As he felt himself slipping into a state of total mental collapse, tears of humiliation welled up in the corners of his eyes.
So…
Just what the hell is this Time Stop Device they're talking about!!!
(っ╥╯﹏╰╥c)
Smack smack smack!!!
"You bastards! This is an assault! A terrorist attack!!!"
After stripping Associate Professor Ushironomiya completely, the group found no such thing as a Time Stop Device.
All they found was a lie detector sold for 1980 yen.
Upon seeing the lie detector, everyone quickly realized—this was just a beautiful misunderstanding~
Immediately, they shoved Kamishiro Shiro forward to face the professor, who now had only a coat draped over him.
What's that?
You're asking about the rest of his clothes?
Well, in moments of panic, people don't exactly undress normally~
That coat? It came off during Ushironomiya's earlier struggle, all on its own.
(;?＿?)
Faced with the professor's furious roar, Kamishiro Shiro turned away, embarrassed.
This really was his oversight. He did suspect that time wouldn't be so easy to control.
But still!
He didn't think it was entirely his fault!
"Professor, it's not like I did it on purpose! I just gave the wrong answer! I didn't think it'd turn out like this!"
"Wrong answer?! Your answer was so wrong it was absurd! I said it was a movie! A movie! Do you think that thing you described was in a movie?!"
"It was!"
Kamishiro Shiro nodded with full confidence. Not just him—everyone behind him, including Iori, also nodded firmly!
They had seen it in a movie (anime)!
Not only had it appeared, it had been a hot topic a few years ago—they'd seen it in at least a hundred shows combined!
Looking at their earnest faces, Associate Professor Ushironomiya froze for a moment.
Could this thing really exist?
He silently made a mental note to research the Time Stop Device in his office after class.
But don't think hitting him like that was something they could just brush off!!
As the school's most notoriously petty scumbag teacher, he held grudges deeply!
He glanced at the lie detector on the table and grinned evilly.
Let's do a lie detector test, you bastards!