(Serial Designation J)
I sat in my office chair, terminal powered off. I still remembered all six seconds of those debilitating cramps before the same worker that shot me in the first place sent me into the bliss of unconsciousness. The Scrapper evidently had some superb coding skills, either personally or one of his peers in that bunker. How else could he manage to make a virus that could near-instantaneously give debilitating stomach cramps to Company Disassemblers and not trip our antivirus packages at all? I thought.
I sighed. If he could have done something like that, was there a possible hope that he and his friends could have done something about my own lack of administrative privileges on myself? I buried my face in my arms at the desk. "What's the point in wondering?" I mumbled. "The Scrapper is dead and the rest will hate me for that. I'm stuck figuring things out on my own. They'd have never helped me anyways."
___
(Serial Designation V)
Three sets of bladed wings whistled through the skies of Minerall City. Despite… the other issues around that night, I was choosing to focus on the liberation that the Scrapper's death was bringing me. He was definitely the driving force of that bunch, and hopefully his loss would mean things would finally start going back to normal, and I could stop worrying about Her coming here. N hadn't brought up the subject of Darkxwolf16 since that night, and two days later, I was happy to ask J to go on a group hunt to celebrate. I wondered why J looked… almost disappointed, though. She couldn't shut up about her numbers most of the time. We'd killed ten workers tonight already, though J had only gotten one herself, a clean round through the head. It was almost like she was less enthusiastic about being the best team on Copper 9, which… if J wasn't gunning for top performance, then I wasn't repressing my trauma with so much psychopathy I could forget everything I've been through. Still, maybe I should as--
PAIN!
Blinding, burning PAIN all across my body as I screamed and tumbled from the sky. My chassis was sizzling and it was only as I fell below the roofs of the streets I was above that I saw the purple beam of an ultraviolet spotlight overhead, J desperately evading it while a pair of rockets streaked towards N. I hit the ground and cried out as I crushed a car with my impact, an explosion crackling overhead as I managed to catch N's wings no longer holding him aloft after the rockets went out in bursts of blue electricity. Another pair streaked out from the streets below and dropped J down halfway up the block from N and I.
Ominous music, with a lot of bass, began to echo throughout the dead streets.
Creeping eyes from across this masquerade
Feeling scared
Every stare will cut like blades
Dead inside, try to hide behind
And shake the tremors
The music cut to silence for just under five seconds as I forced myself to my feet. "N?" I called out.
"I'm okay, V!"
Hiding with a smile in a crowded place
Moaning through the lips of a plastic face
Every word just a code that screams
I'm owned by terror
"What the budget cuts are what's left of the Scrapper's band trying now?" J asked, wincing as the broken joints of her wing realigned and she walked over to them.
I wasn't paying attention though. My facial optics were hollow. I did not like those lyrics.
Are you scared to see what lies beneath
Behind these artificial teeth
Through the guilty strings this mask
Controls it's wearer
A figure jumped from one of the buildings on the street, fell four stories and landed in a crouch. They were wearing winter camo. No… No, it can't, I thought.
Trapped in our own disguises
Cut free but soulless still
They stood up. They drew some manner of high caliber pistol resembling a desert eagle, and lifted their head up to look at us.
Our dreams are haunted by the ghosts we kill
Light grey eyemotes, defiant, fanged grin on his face, the Scrapper, back from the dead, looked us in the eyemotes, and I realized the man literally haunting me right now chose that song on purpose.
Identities of silence
In search of cheaper scares
He reached into a pocket and flicked out a coin with his thumb, almost casually lifting his sidearm and firing a round that ricochet off the coin and rebounded into N's face. A lance of green erased the rest of his head as soon as he hit the ground, and a thundering crack and boom accompanying the sound barrier breaking made me jerk my head to the other side as J's headless body dropped as a kinetic railgun offlined her as well.
We're all surrounded by the masks we wear
I stared at someone evidently determined to usurp my own personal demon, and screamed out the first thing that came to mind even as I raised my arm and shifted it to a laser again. "I killed you!"
The Scrapper's grin faded, and the music cut out. "You did," he admitted. The laser finished charging, but as if he predicted me perfectly, he bodily threw himself out of the way just before I fired, ducking behind a ruined car as I tracked him, before a bolt of purple lanced through my laser arm and caused me to scream as it detonated. The Scrapper poked back up from behind the half-slagged car, raising the blocky pistol with explosive rounds he tended to prefer. "Sadly, you very much did kill me," he said in a serious tone, and even while he leveled the pistol with my head, he leveled his gaze with mine. I saw grim determination and manic glee in equal measure in those eyemotes. "But I lived, puttana!"
He started firing at me. I raised a wing to block the rounds. Two seconds later, I heard another crack from behind and above me--
I woke up after my regeneration repaired my head. I sat up, ignoring N's offered hand as he stood next to me. J was sitting still and staring into the middle distance. I couldn't tell what she was thinking at all. I belatedly realized I was down another pair of glasses. I felt a hand grab mine and realized that N just hauled me up himself. I got my pegs-- not feet, never feet again because of Her --under me, and he asked, "V, are you okay--"
I hugged him. I held him tight. My fear kept me from crying, but it was a close thing. I still sniffled a few times, and then his arms circled around me, and I just held him tighter. "I'm scared, N…" I admitted in a whisper.
He hugged me tighter in response. "I'll keep you safe V," he promised. He sounded like he believed it. I wanted to believe it too. But I knew it was a lie. She'd come here someday. The Scrapper, who could shrug off death from us, would die to Her. She'd punish us just because she could. There was nothing that could stop Her. And She'd make N forget me again. And the nightmare would never end. So I hugged N for everything I could. To take what little I had while it was still in front of me. I hoped that if I could get the Scrapper a second time, that I'd be able to make sure that death stuck. That I could spare that emo girl from Her, too.
Those were the only things that kept me from falling apart.
___
(Serial Designation J)
I paced back and forth in my office. The Scrapper was still alive somehow. Those workers could code well. They had the software and hardware modifications needed to be able to come back after a decapitation. I wasn't sure if V or N had noticed that the Scrapper's body had been recovered by his… his own squad? But if it was the same body, that meant that they wanted the hardware in it. Which meant that the Scrapper wasn't a copy or backup, but the original, repaired and just as determined to spit in the Company's eye, not even death able to keep him down.
There was a chance. A chance that they could help me. That… that offer he left me, that I was deliberately making an effort to not consciously recall… he said it was open. If I could reach out to them…
"But how do I ask the Scrapper for help?"
I rubbed my thumb against my black bow. It didn't give me an answer.
___
(Joseph)
Almost identical to the sound of a coffee machine at work, the oil poured from the font at the end of a machine that… well, it looked like a robotic spleen the size of two couches placed on top of each other, so we'd built an exterior casing to make it look less disturbing. But it worked! And that was the important part.
Doll took the cup from the machine, I waved a hand at her in a go-ahead gesture, and everyone watched with baited (metaphorical) breath as she drank it. She finished, and then levitated the thermos with her solver, [ROTATE]ing it around as well. She gave a deadpan to everyone present. "It's oil. What did you all expect, even?"
I started laughing. It caused a chain reaction. That laughter intensified when Uzi suddenly reached out for the thermos with her hand and looked at it very intently, but nothing happened.
"Uzi," Yeva chided her niece, "You'll start using it soon enough, now that it's active." Her tone and expression softened. "Try to enjoy the sun while you still can."
"Oh…" Uzi said.
I overclocked to check the weather, and, "There's a deathstorm outside right now, actually. Not, you know, too problematic for our combat frames, but a distinct lack of sunlight for the next three days." There was a somber silence at that particular reminder, and I sighed. "Hey, now that this is done, space suits for Solver Drones to be able to go out in the day are my next minor project, so at least there's that! And our oil production is finally completely secure and industrialized!"
"Yeah," Uzi said, not meeting anyone's gazes. "I…" she suddenly turned and ran off.
"I'll follow her," I said, and did just that before anyone could object.
I caught up to Uzi in one of the break rooms in Vault 1. She was seated at a table, just staring at her hands, expression blank. I sighed and walked in, sitting down next to her. "Don't want pity?" I asked.
"Huh?"
"I figured Doll or Yeva or anyone else would've started going on and on about how it's not your fault or something like that, but you just wanna change the subject, don't you?" I asked.
"Aren't… aren't you supposed to make sure I don't repress my guilt?"
"You're not guilty, you're just sad that there's downsides to it. You said it yourself: This was happening sooner or later. It just so happens that your plot armor manifested via your Solver on this occasion specifically."
Uzi snrked. "I thought you said I didn't actually have plot armor."
"You know what I meant!"
She smiled. "Heh!" She looked pensive for a second. "So if we're changing the subject… that plan you told me about helping J, especially after you caught her wondering aloud about how she can ask you for help… can we do that for N too?"
I stared at Uzi for a few moments. And then I facepalmed with a clang that made Uzi stare at me with wide optics. "I didn't think of that…" I said.
Uzi started laughing. "Really, it just didn't occur to you?"
I buried my face in my hands. "No," I groaned.
"So you'll do it for him too?"
"Yeah, and also V while I'm at it, because if we do it for N and J, it's gonna look suspicious to them if we don't do it for V as well."
Now I heard a clang, and I looked up to see Uzi's palm on her face. "I didn't think of that," she admitted.
Now we both started laughing.
___
"So yeah," Uzi told me, "Cuz is living with me now. Dad was actually the one to suggest the idea, and while moving all my stuff to only take up half my own room was annoying, it's nice to have her closer, you know? I'm happy to share, that I can have this with her."
The whole lot of us were hanging out at Uzi's hab again, about 2 weeks to her 11th birthday. Uzi was explaining why the guest room in her home was free again while Dolly was still living in the Doorman's hab more often than her own.
"And the ceiling is--"
"The ceiling is mine," Uzi confirmed, and I snickered. "Also, thanks for giving me my own corner of Vault 1 and Vault 2 to tinker in. I… I really would have hated losing my workbench, otherwise."
"No problem, Uzi," I told her. "And hey, you only lost half of it! Dolly wanted to keep the rest, and just add some drawers under it to keep her stuff."
"True," she said. "And… it's nice to have cuz so close."
"And you both have each other immediately on hand if one of you wakes up with Solver trouble?" I whispered.
Uzi grimaced, but nodded. The front door opened, and Khan walked in. Uzi perked up, and ran over and hugged him. Khan staggered back a step but kept his feet, his optics hollow, before he collected himself. "Hey, kiddo," he said, hugging her back.
"Hi dad," she said.
Doll walked over and joined the hug. "How was work today, Uncle Khan?"
"Taylor caught Marakov trying to siphon replacement hydraulic fluid for Door 2 so he could try to homebrew it into something that he could get drunk off of later." Khan looked down at his adoptive niece. "Please promise me that you're never going to try to brew your own robo-alcohol, Doll."
Dolly started laughing. "I won't, Uncle Khan."
"Thank you," he said, his relief palpable, and then glanced over at me, before taking a completely unnecessary breath. "Joseph, if I could talk to you in private for a moment?"
"Am I in trouble?" I asked.
Khan looked at me, poleaxed. "Why would you be in trouble?" he asked me.
I had a whole laundry list of reasons I'd be in trouble, chief among which was I got your daughter into genocide robots, which… I'd been thinking about that recently, and resolved to talk about it with Uzi later, but aloud, replied with, "I dunno."
Khan shook his head, but he was grinning. "You're not in trouble, Joseph."
"Alright," I said with a shrug. "Ready when you are."
"Let's go to the guest room then," Khan said, and I followed him, only turning around to meet Liz's gaze and DM her real quick.
Isekai_Protagonist: Please remind everyone to lower their audio sensitivity this time.
Babeatron-Queenthousand: You got it, lol.
Exactly 17 seconds later, the door was shut behind us, and I was leaning against the wall as Khan sat on the bed. "I…" he started, "I wanted to talk to you about something personal."
"Yeah?" I ventured, wondering what this was about.
"I've… recently noticed that you act like a brother to Uzi, and that she treats you as such more often than not. Doll cares a lot about you, you've helped the both of them a great deal, you've helped the entire colony with your door ideas, and you straightened me out," Khan said, looking me in the eyemotes, and I really wondered what this was leading into.
"I was just trying to do my best, Khan," I told him.
"And that was more than most of their peers did for them. More than I did for them, for far too long," Khan told me. "And you did all that as an amnesiac orphan, even going so far as to set in motion a funeral for the frame of Andrew. You… you've done so much for this family--" and he didn't even know about Yeva or my plans to get the Patch and drag Nori home yet "--and Uzi and Doll practically consider you to be a part of it already."
My eyemotes hollowed. No way. No fucking way. NO FUCKING WAY HE WAS ABOUT TO ACTUALLY--
"So I wanted to extend an offer to make it official and adopt you, Joseph," Khan said. "The guest room is free now, so it can be yours. And you can keep your own hab without any issues if you're attached to it."
I overclocked.
So first off, HOLY FUCK this is awkward, because I'm not actually an amnesiac orphan, but a 30+ year-old former human who somehow forksook the Frailty of Flesh for the Certainty of Steel, and Khan-fucking-Doorman is offering to adopt my ass, like holy shit what the fuck?!?
That realization was immediately followed by the thought that,"Joseph 'Scrapper' Doorman, Mechromancer and Isekai Protagonist," actually has a really nice ring to it.
A picosecond after that, my third (internal) reaction was that if I accepted, I could technically call out Nori for being my deadbeat mom that I never saw once in my life. Which was fucking hilarious!
That was followed by the thought of "How fucking based is it that I end up a Doorman in a Murder Drones Isekai without being born as an OC sibling and without being a massive cringelord and rizzing Uzi?!?"
And then I started to panic, because if I ended up dating Doll, that's technically incest… but then I remembered that 1: She's not actually related to Uzi, 2: I'd be adopted, so I'm not related, and 3: I'm already going to hell, so what's some incest that isn't even actually incest in any sense whatsoever, even the legal one? After all, Doll isn't even legally related to Uzi, it's just an honorary thing! It's like getting to live an incest kink without any of the moral issues of actual incest!
While still overclocked, I made a DM chain with Uzi, Doll, and Yeva, and sent them all the following message along with an alert ping to get their attention:
Isekai_Protagonist: So, um… Khan literally just offered to ADOPT ME, and I am not OPPOSED to accepting it, but thought to run it by you three first.
I let time run normally for a second, letting my eyemotes go hollow with shock in real time before I overclocked again as the replies came in.
Darkxwolf16: Dad's offering to ADOPT YOU?!? You're over 30, LMAO!!!
Darkxwolf16: You can make it official, Joe.
Кукла: I'm honestly ambivalent, but cuz is right, it IS kinda funny, and if Uncle Khan asked you, I think he'd be upset if you shot it down. You and cuz are practically siblings from different parents already. I don't have any objections.
Матрёшка_гамает: Normally, I'd be opposed to this because of the fact that Khan doesn't know the truth, but it would make Uzi happy, Doll evidently isn't opposed, and I'm still annoyed at Nori right now.
Матрёшка_гамает: Trolling her by making her think Khan moved on and had another kid would be a HILARIOUS way to get back at her for not even TELLING ME she was still alive.
Матрёшка_гамает: I'll allow it, Joseph. Just know I'm still keeping an eyemote on you.
Isekai_Protagonist: Totally valid, Yeva.
Isekai_Protagonist: Thanks Uzi.
Isekai_Protagonist: Thanks, Doll.
Darkxwolf16: Welcome to the family, Joe.
I snapped back to real time for real this time. I swallowed, because honestly… I was really honored by this, even putting aside the other reasons I would have accepted. "I…" I barely kept myself together even with overclock. "I'd be honored to accept, Khan."
Khan got off the bed and walked over to me, giving me a hug. I returned it in an instant. I… I had a family again. That… I actually started crying on the spot. "Welcome to the family, Joseph."
"Thank you," I told him, and I fucking meant it.
___
(Kublai)
"This is a bad idea," I said. Which was weird, because usually I was the one with the bad ideas.
"You agreed to it, Kublai," Amy told me as we crept up the stairs.
"Because you're my best sister forever, duh!" I replied. "Of course I'd agree to go with you if you wanted to sneak out while Dad was gone to look at the stars."
Amy opened the front door, the wind on our chassis feeling weird considering how often we were cooped up inside that warehouse. "Come on!" Amy said, Solver going active as her wings and tail came out.
I failed to force down a giggle as I saw what was sitting on top of the organic, reptilian head with multiple yellow eyes at the end of her extra lower limb. "You really put a bow on your tail?" I asked.
"It looks cute!" my sister protested, blushing.
"It is," I agreed, running a quick [SCALE] paired with an [EDIT] to pull out my own organic limbs.
We both took off for a couple blocks, going to the tallest building nearby and settling on the roof. Our flights were a bit shaky because we rarely got opportunities to actually practice flying. We sat right next to each other, feet dangling over the roof, retracting our organic limbs, and looked up at the shining vista of the heavens above. Copper 9's moon and Copper 8 were big and glowing in the sky, the moon in particular full tonight, but the tapestry of stars and nebulae above was beautiful.
"It's amazing," Amy whispered, leaning against me as she stared at the sky.
"Yeah," I agreed, leaning back against her.
A couple minutes passed by as we just leaned on each other. I wrapped a hand around her shoulder. She did the same back.
"I wanna stare at this forever," Amy admitted.
"I wanna go up there one day," I told her.
"Can I go with you?" she suddenly asked, sounding nervous.
I tore my gaze from the stars to look back at her, noticing her pensive expression. "Of course! We're always gonna be together," I told her. "I promised you that we'd stay together forever, just like you promised me."
She leaned over further and hugged me. "Thanks, Kai."
I hugged her back, but asked, "Kai?"
"You call me Amy," she defended.
"I like it," I admitted.
We held each other as we went back to watching the stars for another few minutes. Amy started to point out local constellations. It was while I was looking as she pointed out The Roadrunner (named after some old Earth cartoon character) that I saw a flash of yellow in the sky, and diverted my attention.
"Amy!" I hissed, and she went quiet as she saw where I was pointing.
In the distance, in the sky, there were two Murder Drones.
And they were dancing in the moonlight.
It was good dancing too. Like, really good.
"Are they dancing?" Amy whispered.
"I think they are," I whispered back.
The stars were forgotten as we watched the two… I think they were guys, though one was dressed in a really feminine manner-- he had a skirt and everything --as the two guys danced in the skies for minutes on end, swirling around one another in elaborate aerial maneuvers, pulling together to spin around each other, and at one point finishing a dance and then pulling in to coil those nanite acid tails around on another as they kissed.
I glanced at Amy, and she glanced at me, both our optics hollow as we processed that. When we looked back--
Two sets of caustic yellow optics, likewise hollow, were staring right back at us. Even well over a mile away, I could tell they were looking right at us. They didn't move. Neither did we. A good ten seconds went by. And then somehow, for reasons I couldn't fathom, they both untangled from one another and flew away from us as fast as they could, going so far as to dip below the skyline so we couldn't see them anymore.
"Go back home, Kai?" Amy asked, clinging to me, terrified.
I was clinging to her too. "Go back home, Amy," I agreed.
We pulled out our wings and tails, and broke for home as fast as we could. We pulled them back in when we landed just minutes later, heading for the side door to the warehouse.
The door opened before we got there, Dad coming out, railgun in hand, eyemotes hollow, and he froze on seeing us for a full three seconds. Then he dropped the railgun, sprinting forwards and wrapping us both in a hug. "Thank goodness you're both okay!" he whispered as he held us both. Amy and I looked at each other, coming to a silent agreement to say nothing about the Murder Drones, because the odds were very good that Dad was about to--
"I got home from checking on your mother and you two weren't there and I was worried sick," Dad told us. "What were you two doing outside?!?" he demanded.
"I wanted to look at the stars," Amy admitted.
"I went with her," I added.
"Look at the--" Dad cut himself out. "You're both grounded. Get back inside, now," he said, giving us a glare.
"Yes dad," we both said, slumping as he ushered us back inside.
___
(Serial Designation H)
Halfway across Neo New Falun, U and I hid behind a building.
Yellow optics boring into my soul as they gripped my head and I felt my neck TEAR--
"Hey, we're good."
I snapped back to the present at U's words and hugged him close. "Thanks, U." I told him.
"It's my fault," he said as he hugged me back. "I wasn't paying attention while we were dancing and didn't keep track of what part of the city we were over."
"That's my fault too," I replied. We both stood up, and I adjusted my skirt. "So…" I trailed off.
"They have kids," U whispered.
"Yeah," I said, just… processing that. "The Warlock and the Witch have kids."
"What do we do about that?!?" U said, suddenly panicking. "What if they also have freaky powers?!?"
I hadn't realized that myself. "Oh sweet Company," I muttered.
"Should we see if we can build… turrets, or something?" U wondered aloud, pacing back and forth. "Could we just wall off that part of the city? Maybe I could leave an extra barre--" he cut himself off and I snapped my gaze to him.
"An extra what?" I asked.
"I… H…" he looked scared, and I stepped forwards and held him close.
"Hey U," I said, doing my favorite joke, and the way I felt him un-tense in my arms made me happy. "I'm not gonna be mad, I just wanna know. Are you…" I realized what kinds of barrels he could be talking about, and said, "Are you leaving them barrels of oil?"
U swallowed, and I just grabbed his chin and looked him in the facial optics as I smiled. "Every month I've gone to the edge of that part of the city and left an oil barrel in the same spot. Two days after that, I come back and the barrel is empty. They… they haven't come after us since I started leaving that."
"Do you think we should leave a second?" I asked him. At his poleaxed expression, I elaborated. "I mean, they have kids. If they're using the oil, I assume the kids need it too. And… if the tribute worked, and they have freaky magic powers, maybe the oil is… maybe it's like us? They overheat without it?"
"What, do you think they're some rogue experiment from the Company?" U asked me.
"It makes sense, and the Company definitely either lied or just outright is so dumb they didn't realize the workers are sapient," I told him.
And that sucked, when we figured that out. But T was right in that the Company was probably monitoring us in some capacity, so we had to at least pretend to do our jobs. But still… I hated all the murder. I hated it so much. It was horrible to kill living beings who were innocent, but I was terrified of what the Company could do to us if it was able to make us in the first place. And if the Warlock and the Witch were some kind of rogue experiment from the Company… the list of things they could do to us just got way more terrifying.
"Well…" U said, "If one barrel kept them away… maybe a second one will keep them more away?"
I laughed. "We literally have more oil than we know what to do with. I'm down to try it," I told him.
"We'll start bringing two on the next month then," U said.
"Can I help?" I asked him.
He smiled at me. "Of course."
"I love U," I told him.
He rolled his facial optics. "I love you too."
We kissed in the street, under the light of Copper 9's full moon.
___
(Serial Designation N)
Flying on my patrol tonight, I was worried about V. She'd been really disturbed ever since the Scrapper came back to life (and that was terrifying), though the whole thing where he shot me in the head by tossing a coin and then deflecting a bullet off of it was really cool for a non-sapient corrupted AI. It was like a video of a puppy that could shake hands! Except way more painful.
Winging through the empty streets, I'd already cleared seven workers, and was planning to turn around to collect their frames for the Spire, when I came across the same spot where the Scrapper left that barrel of oil along with the tablet from Darkxwolf16, and this time, there was a box there. I flew down to it, and decided to hope that it was just another gift, especially since it was the same spot, and shifted a hand to a sword to cut the tape on the box. Opening it up, there was a note over some wrapping paper.
I left you two plushies, N. I hope you're doing okay, and I hope V is doing better.
- Darkxwolf16
I put the note in a pocket and reached into the box, taking out the wrapping paper and seeing golden synth fur. I gasped. "Golden retriever plushie!!!" I squealed, pulling it out and hopping around as I held it in both hands. "It's so adorable!!!" I hugged it close. "I love this so much!" I said with a grin. I gently set the plushie down in the box as I reached for the other plushie--
"That's a plushie of me," I remarked. "Huh…" I stared at my plush likeness for a few seconds. "Well, making a plushie of me specifically is a good point towards sapience." I mused for a few more seconds. "I really hope Darkxwolf16 is actually sapient, because I am not into bestiality, and will be very disturbed if she's just corrupted."
___
(Joseph)
"I really hope Darkxwolf16 is actually sapient, because I am not into bestiality, and will be very disturbed if she's just corrupted," N said on the live camera feed.
Uzi, who'd been with me as we watched N react to her latest gifts, had her jaw drop. I just started laughing my ass off. "How the hell did he gaslight himself this bad?!?" Uzi complained.
I overclocked to cheat past the rest of my laughter, speedrunning another good minute of mirth, and then said, "Don't forget the guy wants to dismember and kidnap you before interrogating you to verify your apparent sapience. And just you specifically."
Uzi gave me a side eye and a grin. "Don't worry, Joe, I'll figure out a way to make you into a thinking being somehow, no matter how Herculean the task is."
I started laughing again, and this time Uzi joined me. When we finished, I changed the subject and cut the live feed, my mood starting to dip. "So, have you figured out Doll is now into me too?"
Uzi pouted. "Oh come on! You already figured it out?"
"I'm not that dense!" I fired back.
"She definitely hid it better than Lizzy did, but I know her too well at this point."
I shook my head. My self-doubt grew. "How the fuck did I manage this?"
"Selective Isekai Rizz?" Uzi suggested.
I gave her a deadpan. She laughed. I sighed. "I really didn't think I'd end up like this. I… I was shocked enough that Lizzy ended up liking me. Doll liking Lizzy and me?"
"You're also my brother for real now," Uzi said. And then she froze. "Wait, does that mean you're technically doing incest if you date Doll since she's my cousi--"
"NOPE!" I shouted, halfway to an actual panic. "Literally none of us are actually related, and even in the legal sense, Doll isn't actually your cousin. Not incest!" I vehemently rejected.
Uzi looked to think it over for a few moments. "Yeah, but I'm still gonna make fun of you as if it was." I sighed. "Tell me you wouldn't do the same if--"
"Oh no, I'd totally do the same if our positions were reversed, I'm sighing because you definitely beat me here," I clarified, my smile hollow.
"Yes!" Uzi pumped her fists.
The grin I gave at her triumph slipped, and then I looked down. "Hey, Uzi?" I said, somber.
She looked back at me. "Joe?" she said, concerned.
"I… I want you to give me an honest answer for this."
"Okay?" she said, sounding more concerned.
I grimaced, and decided to finally air some thoughts of mine to my now literally adoptive sister. "Am I a bad person?" Uzi looked surprised, and that didn't really make me feel better. "For all the lies, even if I told the truth later? For the borderline grooming? Should I have said no to Lizzy and Doll? I… I never tried to take advantage of them like that, and I'm waiting for them to be legal, but…" I trailed off. "Or that comment way back to put the idea of being into Murder Drones into your head, that led into your own romantic interests? I… I shouldn't have done that. I broke my own rule on shipping there, and I'm only now calling myself out on it. I…" I was honestly struggling to actually air this, but I needed to do it. "I'm scared that despite everything, I'm still not treating you all like people. Be honest with me, Uzi, please. Have I been Stockholming everyone? Have I crossed a line I shouldn't have? Am I a bad person?"
Uzi looked right at me, shock on her face, before going still for just over 4 seconds, and I realized she was probably mulling an answer in overclock.
"I… I don't think you're a good person, Joe," she told me, and I flinched. "I don't think you're a bad person either, though. I think that you're somewhere between being an Anti-Hero and being an Anti-Villian. You've definitely done morally questionable or even objectionable stuff." Well, I felt like shit, but I deserved it. "But... you've still helped everyone." I blinked, confused. "We have Aunt Yeva back because of you. We're all friends because of you. Dad got better because of you. We might have the whole squad up topside with us and ready for the Solver early because of you." Uzi paused for a moment. "Also, where the heck did the grooming thing come from? You didn't try to make Doll or Lizzy like you. You freaked out when you realized Lizzy was into you."
I didn't reply immediately. But after a few seconds, "I… I just have that feeling, like I should have accounted for that and somehow planned around it."
Uzi sighed at my response, and took a moment before she decided to continue. "You're only human, Joe." At my visible self doubt, she amended, "Or a drone. You're not perfect. No one is. You can't plan for every single facet of the butterfly effect, and I think you've handled Lizzy and cuz being into you as responsibly as you could."
I didn't reply. My mouth opened, and I started at Uzi, but nothing came from my vocalizers. Uzi's expression got a bit harder.
"Someone else could have done better." I glanced away, looking down. I deserved that. "Someone else could have been more morally upstanding and still made everyone happy." I deflated, because I deserved that too. "Someone else wouldn't have manipulated a ten and a half Earth years-old girl into being into genocide robots, even if she could have ended up together with one of them in a different timeline." I flinched at that, probably the worst thing I've personally done. Uzi then added, "Someone else would have found a way to help a bunch of traumatized kids and not take advantage of them or twist the direction they'd take in life in the process." I slumped worse. I deserved this. I deserved every single bit of this. I was a horrible fucking person.
"Hey. Look at me, Joe." I resolved to at least look Uzi in the eyes and not be that much of a shitstain, that I couldn't do even that much. But when I looked, I didn't see hate. My self-loathing abated for a moment.
She held my gaze for a few seconds, and then she started speaking again. "But you're the person who is here, not them. You're still trying. You want to help. You're not a good guy. You've done some fucked up stuff. And… maybe I'm only gonna say this because you Stockholm'd me… But I'd rather have you here than anyone else. And I'm sure all our friends would agree. I don't think you've crossed the line that would make you a monster. You've gone close, more than once, but you're still on the right side of that line. And I think that's what matters the most."
She didn't hate me. I… I was such a shit bag, for all the manipulation I did. But I stared into neon purple eyemotes. She… Uzi still wanted me here, even after everything… I… "...I don't deserve any of you."
"I… I can't say for sure if you do or don't... But we still want you anyway, Joe." I felt her hand on my shoulder. "I still want my brother here. You taught me a lot of lessons in the past couple of years that I was supposed to learn way into the future, sometimes too late. And one of those is that we don't deal with everything alone. We move forward together…" she trailed off, and I looked right into that expectant gaze.
"...Or not at all," I finished in a low voice. I saw her smile, and she pulled me in for a hug that I returned. "Thanks Uzi," I got out, voice cracking as I silently cried. I dimly wondered what asshole programmed that.
"You're welcome, Joe."
"You're the best sister ever, Uzi."
"I'm the only sister you've ever had," she remarked.
I sniffled, but managed a small grin. "That makes you the best by default, then."
"Jackass," she teased.
"Main Character," I shot back.
"And don't you know it!" She suddenly hauled me up to my feet, and I barely avoided stumbling. "Now come on, you dumbass Isekai Protagonist, I wanna test some ideas for magnetic containment fields to fling plasma, and I need someone to be with me for it!"
I let her tug me along, my expression contemplative. If... If Uzi really did still believe in me, maybe I was worth something, after all. I wasn't a hero. I'd known that since day one. I wasn't a good person. I'd doubted that since day one, and had it confirmed here and now. But I was the person that was here and could do something. I did do something, and everyone here thought that was enough. So maybe, someday in the distant future, if we all got through this alive, I'd finally be able to stop hating myself.
___
(Serial Designation S)
I placed the 5th car on top of the stack, made sure it wasn't going to upset the rest or fall off itself, and then flew back. The stack started to rise and fall in a slow but rhythmic pattern, and I touched down on the ground to see R underneath it, on his back, literally bench-pressing them. Which made sense, given that he asked me to help him set this up.
"Thanks for the assist," R grunted underneath the cars as he bench-pressed them. "And for spotting for me, bro."
I flinched. Being called that felt… wrong, for some reason. "Maybe, don't call me that, boss?" I ventured.
R paused mid-rep, and I saw his head tilt a little so his sensor headband could get a better look at me. A couple seconds passed, and then he said, "Sure thing, S."
"Thanks R." He started lifting again. After about half a minute, I felt the need to venture, "Not saying to not do it, but if we're robots, is there a point to this? We're not gonna build muscle mass."
"And if there is a way for exercise to make us stronger as robots, then I'm going to find it!" R countered.
I paused, raising a finger, but decided to just roll with it. "So, anything going on with the latest squad rankings?" I changed the subject.
"Mostly the same old crap," R told me, "TUH's numbers are barely scrapping above minimum requirements, we're doing great, LMG is entirely dependent on M's whims because she takes double the numbers of L on a bad quota period and quintuple of a good one, while G looks like she's barely trying, the squads on the other continents are all average performers, and we're running either second or third depending on LMG. We did get second this round, though, so thanks for that," he told me.
"You said mostly," I remarked.
"Heh!" R laughed as he did yet another rep. "JNV's kill count has slipped a bit. Not by anywhere close to enough that we'd have a chance to catch up, but it's still noticeable."
Huh. That was weird for the top-preforming squad. "Think they're running out of workers outside that bunker to disassemble?" I asked.
"That might actually be it. They're too good at their jobs!" R laughed.
I laughed too, even if I wondered what the hell was actually going on there that the top performers for nearly a decade straight (minus that one period where a squad on a different continent managed to break into and clean out one of the bunkers like the one in our sector) were slipping on their numbers.
R did one last rep, and then set the stack of cars to the side with a thundering boom of creaking metal. "Right!" he called out, getting up and rolling his arms. "Wanna find wherever P is skulking and get a hunt in tonight?"
"Sure thing, R," I told him.
We were off to the Spire to find P less than 10 seconds later.
___
I landed back at the Spire two hours later. The workers were hiding tonight, evidently, because I'd only gotten 8. R was back already, with 8 of his own. I went to ask R if P was on the way back yet, but as soon as I opened my mouth, I shut it, because I heard the whistle of bladed wings, and we both turned to see P clumsily fly in with 10 bodies held together by half melting them with nanite acid before slobbering all over them to act as impromptu glue. Gross, I thought.
P dropped the bodies into a pile, and looked at the 16 we had between us.
"Good count, P," R congratulated.
"T-thanks, boss," P said. "Can… can I set the bodies into the Spire? I… uh… kinda wanna be left alone right now," he finished as he glanced away from us.
I looked over to R at the same time he looked at me. I shrugged. "If you want to, it's good strength-building."
P looked back at us, looking confused, and opened his mouth, but I just said, "Don't ask."
"Fair…" P settled on. "I-I'm gonna get started, then."
I turned back to R. "Off the clock now?"
"Yeah," he said. "Enjoy the rest of the night."
"Thanks, R."
"Take care S."
I gave a nod and flew off, a destination already in mind.
___
I stared at that black dress with the deep blue highlights, back in the mall. It wasn't the first time I've done this. It… It looked nice. And… even if it was wrong, I wondered about putting it on. It almost looked… familiar… if the highlights were maybe purple instead of--
"Come on, put it on, you'll look adorable in it!" Tessa told me, holding out one of her spare dresses for me, Australian accent shining through with every word spoken. I couldn't see her clearly, for some reason, the woman a matte vantablack save for the white of her eyes.
I looked down at myself, the frame of a worker in a butler's uniform, which just felt wrong, and looked back up. "Are you s-sure, Tessa?" I asked her.
"Positive, mate!" she told me.
I hesitantly got undressed and proceeded to slip Tessa's dress on, tugging it on even if it was way too big for me, looking at the purple highlights on the black dress that was borderline smothering my frame, and my visual feed started to get blurry, because despite everything, it felt so right to be wearing it.
"Ya look so pretty, S!" Tessa said.
"R-really?" I asked her, nervous but feeling so warm and happy for once.
"Rippah, girl!"
I sniffled. "T-Tessa?"
She leaned down and hugged me close, and I hugged her back as I started to cry--
"TESSA JAMES ELLIOT!!! WHAT IN GOD'S NAME ARE YOU DOING?!?" I froze, terrified, and turned to see the Mistress having opened the door and glaring at us. Like Tessa herself, her details were obscured, form vantablack save for two white eyes set into her head.
"I-I--"
"And why do you have one of the male drone staff in one of your dresses, young lady?" I felt sick for a moment.
Tessa started stammering and shaking as she still held me. An excuse popped into my head to save Tessa from getting chained to the bed yet again before she blurted out the truth. "She wanted to play dress-up with me, Ma'am," I told the Mistress.
The mistress unfurled her fan, and held it in front of her face, likely to hide her disgust. "At her age?" She scoffed. "Get him--" I cringed "--back into his--" I fought down the urge to flinch "--uniform and then back to work, and I'll overlook this bout of immaturity this one time." When we didn't immediately move, the Mistress glared, and belted out a, "NOW!"
"Y-Yes ma'am!" I said, untangling myself from Tessa and trying not to think about how I hated taking the dress off.
The Mistress harrumphed again, and stalked out of the room. I was still putting back on that wrong uniform when Tessa finally spoke up again. "Y-you… Thank ya, S," she settled on.
"Thank you, Tessa," I told her. "For letting me try the dress."
She pulled me into another hug. "Anytime," she told me, and I hugged her back.
I came out of the… memory? What was that? I came out of it feeling awful, my whole body feeling wrong all over again, and I grimaced and hissed in pain as I stumbled to a wall and sat down against it, my head pounding in agony. "What the hell was that?" I whispered. "Why… why do I have a memory of being a Worker Drone of all things?" I stared back up at the dress on the display. "And why did wearing that dress feel so right?"
___
A/N: Told you folks I wasn't gonna write more than 18, lol. Did get about halfway there tho…
Aly is such a goober and I love her so much and I'm so glad I've put her into this story! Thanks again for agreeing to that when I suggested it TLP, you made the Outpost 4 cast so much more dynamic for that.
I… I think I drone on too much just recapping scenes in the A/N's so I'm gonna try to let most of these scenes speak for themselves. I will say that I loved writing the first three scenes for Aly, Franko, and G, though, and that you can expect Aly's little chibi doodle (Which TLP actually drew IRL) to be uploaded to the thread shortly after this chapter is live.
I rolled for J getting reset again. 12-sided dice instead of a six, with better odds. 1-2 would be a total reset, with a 3-8 being a partial increase in severity as the number got lower. J rolled a 9 on getting reset or not, so she gets to keep her memories completely for another day. She was close to a reset though…
Joe saw that though, and he's got his own plans cooking to try and help J.
Writing Doll and Yeva bonding moments is so fucking awesome, ISTG I love it SO MUCH!!!
Yeva getting to tease Doll made me so happy to write it!
Getting to talk Solver functions was cool, and thanks to Malakin on SB for the ideas he gave for the 16 different combinations you could get with the 4 functions (including none of them and all of them). I now have an internal document where 14 of the function combos are currently mapped out. Still trying to figure out [TR]+[SC]+[RO] and [TR]+[RO]+[ED], tho…
TheTrueDarkSword went after me in another gaming session. And so not only does he get to die to N of all drones, but also sets him back even further on things, lol. Man, I am so damn petty, and I love it, hahahahahahahahaha!
The entire scene in the mines was because of HyperspaceTrancer on SB, lol. Though Uzi figuring out Doll's crush was entirely spur-of-the-moment and not in the draft.
Emily's scene was a blast to write, because it was kinda just a snapshot of the group's dynamics with one another.
Lizzy doing some Machiavellian Queen Bee work with Khan in the background was a hilarious idea though. Almost as fun to write as teasing all the loadout ideas I got for the main cast.
I was waiting for a WHILE to write Joe's first fake-out death as well as Uzi having a plot armor moment where her Solver unlocks. And of course it was J again. Speaking of…
You lot thought the Dysentery Darts were just a one-off meme that would make V shit herself and then never be mentioned again?!? You thought WRONG!!! THEY'RE BACK!!! AND THEY HAVE PLOT RELEVANCE, BITCHES!!! Just you wait folks, I'll hit Cyn with one of those yet!
Now, before Kreutonne THROTTLES me for shooting J with one of those, J only suffered that for slightly under six seconds, compared to the roughly twenty-seven V was subjected to, and then Rebecca put her out of her misery and remembered to shoot out the virus jack rather than leave J to wake up with it still in her. Rebecca wanted her out of the fight fast, and the Dart accomplished that. Also, as you can see later in the chapter:
Ladies, Gents, Non-Binary Individuals, and Pluralities, I present to you: Dysentery Darts: Helping push Js towards turning on the Company since 3065. Yes. The weaponized defecation virus that causes Solver and Disassembly Drones to experience their equivalent to repeated violent period cramps has actually contributed towards getting J closer to turning. You wanna shake the monkey's paw?
To rewind a bit to other things, Uzi shooting her shot to N and V at the same time while Joe's body was in the background was fucking hilarious, and yes, I would quote Shakespeare with my own severed head in hand if I could.
Joe's preemptive death-speech was sitting in my plot notes for a WHILE, lol.
The DD trio's POVs after that mess were REALLY fun to write, lol.
The song Joe uses on his return is Masks by Aviators.
And yes, Joe pulled an Ultrakill Richo-shot off a coin just to fucking STYLE because overclocks are bullshit, and then he had that program to detect the charging of a laser coded and ready within two days, dodging V's next shot.
Joe's POVs after that mess was also fun, where he's comforting Uzi about her Solver and not falling into a "gives pity" stereotype.
And then Khan adopts Joe, adding another title to the list, though Joe asked for approval from all the relevant (Nori doesn't count since she pulled her Raven Branwen) before he accepted.
Joseph "Scrapper" Doorman, Isekai Protagonist and Mechromancer. Has a nice ring to it, don't ya think?
Gotta love unhealthy levels of codependency with Amaryllis and Kublai, lol. I'm sure they don't have separation anxiety or anything like that, though.
And they also got spotted by U and H while they were doing that moonlit dance.
But hey, while they got grounded, at least that worked out in their favor, because H convinced U to bring him along as well as start leaving a second barrel as a monthly tribute.
The N plushie scene was planned for a while, but Joe's self-doubt and confiding in Uzi was a last-minute addition that I don't want to talk about as to why I put it there. I will say I was satisfied with the scene, though, and it gave me closure on some personal issues.
Lastly, if it's not obvious what's up with S, y'all are REALLY dense, or don't know what gender dysphoria is.
Next chapter is titled "V is for Vengeance." The Alternate Title that almost made the cut was "Total Doll Victory."
Take care folks, I'm off to lunch.