Chapter 6: The Ink, The Invisible, and The Grumpy Newbie
[SYSTEM MESSAGE: NEW CHARACTER DETECTED. PREPARING FOR EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION VIA STATIONERY.]
Being a "specialist" for Team Kakashi mostly meant I was now the designated human shield for when Naruto inevitably tripped over his own feet, or when Sakura decided a tree needed to be introduced to her fist. It also meant I had a front-row seat to the daily melodrama that was their lives. Honestly, it was better than reality TV. Less staged, more explosions.
Our new mission was to find Sasuke. Again. Because apparently, he was allergic to staying in one place for more than five minutes. And to sunlight, probably. The perpetually brooding type. But first, we needed a new teammate. Someone to fill the Sasuke-shaped hole in their hearts. Enter Sai.
"Ah, Sai. The walking, talking embodiment of 'emotionally stunted' meets 'arts and crafts enthusiast.' It's like someone took a blank canvas, drew a perfectly symmetrical smile, and then forgot to add the actual human. He was a puzzle, and I, Adam Izuku, self-proclaimed master of psychological warfare and questionable life choices, was just the guy to solve him. Or at least, annoy him into a genuine reaction."
He appeared like a bad omen, all pale skin, black clothes, and that unnervingly fake smile. Naruto, bless his pink-haired heart, was immediately suspicious. Sakura was wary. Kakashi was… well, Kakashi. His visible eye looked like it was mentally calculating the optimal nap time.
[ADAM IZUKU: PREPARING TO PEN-ETRATE (GET IT?) SAI'S EMOTIONAL BARRIER. INITIATE CONNECTION PROTOCOL.]
[SAI LIKE METER: 5%]
"Hello," Sai said, that plastered smile never wavering. "I am Sai. I look forward to working with you, particularly you, Naruto-kun, as you appear to be the 'leader' of this… colorful group." He then turned that vacant smile to Sakura. "And you, Sakura-chan, your forehead is quite… prominent. It frames your face nicely."
Sakura's eye twitched. Naruto bristled. And I? I saw opportunity. This guy was a blank slate, a perfect target for my unique brand of psychological warfare. My ultimate goal? To make him feel something. Anything. Even if it was just the profound urge to punch me.
"Sai, my man!" I chirped, slapping him on the back with a little too much force. He barely reacted. "Adam Izuku, at your service. Or disservice, depending on the day. I hear you're an artist. That's fantastic! I've been looking for someone to critique my… innovative artistic endeavors. Mostly involving hair dye and strategically placed exploding tags."
He tilted his head, that smile still fixed. "I see. You are what one might call… an anomaly. Your presence seems to invoke… chaos."
"Chaos with style, my friend!" I corrected. "Now, tell me, what's your medium? Ink, right? Because I happen to be a connoisseur of fine writing implements. And I just so happen to have acquired some… special ink. Top-secret, really. It's supposed to enhance the emotional resonance of your art. Makes it truly pop."
I produced a small, unmarked vial from my pocket. Inside, a seemingly clear liquid shimmered. It was, in fact, my latest masterpiece: invisible ink, specifically designed to become visible only under extreme emotional stress or direct sunlight. The kind of conditions a ninja might encounter daily. The kind of conditions Sai would undoubtedly encounter.
"Oh?" Sai's smile actually widened infinitesimally. A flicker of something. Curiosity? Impending doom? Hard to tell with him. "Invisible ink? How… intriguing. Does it truly enhance the emotional resonance?"
"Absolutely!" I lied with a straight face. "It draws out the inner turmoil, the hidden angst, the unspoken desires! It's like a truth serum for your brush! Plus, it's really good for secret messages. Or, you know, drawing embarrassing pictures that only appear when your target is in a highly emotional state. Just a thought." I winked.
Naruto, still fuming about Sasuke, wasn't paying much attention. Sakura was giving Sai the stink eye. Kakashi was reading his book. This was perfect.
I handed him the vial. "Go on, try it! Consider it a housewarming gift. Or a 'welcome to the team, try not to get killed' gift. Whichever you prefer."
Sai took the vial, his long fingers carefully examining it. "Thank you, Adam-kun. I shall endeavor to utilize its properties to their fullest."
"Oh, he will. He absolutely will. And when his meticulously drawn, polite, yet incredibly insulting caricatures of Naruto and Sakura spontaneously appear during a mission briefing, the emotional resonance is going to be off the charts. My personal satisfaction levels will also be off the charts. It's a win-win, really."
The next morning, during a standard training exercise, Sai was diligently sketching in his notebook. He was drawing pictures of Naruto and Sakura, but with his usual unsettlingly accurate, yet emotionally detached, interpretations. Naruto looked like a disgruntled badger. Sakura, a slightly less angry badger with a prominent forehead.
[SAI LIKE METER: 15% - ACQUIRABLE SKILLS: INK CLONE JUTSU (BASIC)]
"Alright, team!" Kakashi called out, finally tearing himself away from Icha Icha. "Let's work on stealth and observation. Naruto, try not to get distracted by your own hair. Sakura, try not to punch the ground so hard it makes a new crater. Sai, continue observing. Adam, try not to set anything on fire. Or turn anyone pink again."
"No promises on the pink, Sensei!" I chirped.
Sai continued to draw. He was using my special invisible ink. I watched, barely containing my glee, as his brush danced across the page, creating what appeared to be blank spaces. But I knew. Oh, I knew.
Later, during a short break, Naruto and Sakura gathered around Sai, curious about his drawings.
"What are you drawing, Sai?" Naruto asked, leaning over.
"I am drawing your true forms," Sai replied with that unsettling smile. "To better understand your emotional composition."
"My true form?" Naruto squinted at the blank page. "But there's nothing there!"
Sakura rolled her eyes. "Of course, there isn't, Naruto. Sai's art is probably too profound for your simple mind."
Just then, a ray of sunlight pierced through the trees, hitting Sai's notebook directly. And slowly, agonizingly slowly, the drawings began to appear. First, a faint outline. Then, more detail. And then… the full, glorious horror.
Naruto's "true form" was a meticulously rendered caricature of him with a single, massive, drooling ramen noodle draped over his head, his eyes wide and vacant. Sakura's was even better: a perpetually scowling face with a forehead that took up a good 70% of the page, complete with a tiny, almost imperceptible "CHA!" speech bubble.
Silence.
Then, Naruto's face turned a shade of purple usually reserved for bruised eggplants. "WHAT IS THAT?! SAI, YOU TRAITOR!"
Sakura's eye twitched. Then it bulged. "MY FOREHEAD?! YOU… YOU LITTLE…!"
[SAI LIKE METER: 20% - ACQUIRABLE SKILLS: INK CLONE JUTSU (IMPROVED EFFICIENCY)]
Sai, for the first time, looked genuinely confused. His fake smile faltered, replaced by a flicker of bewilderment. "But… it was invisible! Adam-kun said it would enhance emotional resonance! I was merely capturing their essence!"
Naruto and Sakura turned their fury on Sai, who, still bewildered by the sudden appearance of his drawings, didn't quite know how to react. It was beautiful. Chaos. Glorious, glorious chaos.
"And that, my friends, is how you make a robot feel. Or at least, make him question his life choices. This is going to be fun. Sai, you have no idea what you're in for. But I promise, it'll be an emotionally enriching experience. For me, anyway."
I leaned back against a tree, a satisfied smirk on my face. The first cracks in Sai's emotional dam were appearing. And all it took was a little invisible ink and a whole lot of calculated mischief. This was going to be a good arc.