Chapter 7: The Art of Annoyance: Sai's Slow Burn
[SYSTEM MESSAGE: INCREASING IRRITATION LEVELS. PREPARING FOR MINIMAL PSYCHOLOGICAL DAMAGE.]
The invisible ink incident with Sai was a triumph. For me, anyway. For Naruto and Sakura, it resulted in a rather dramatic chase scene through the training grounds, with Sai looking utterly perplexed by their fury. He still hadn't quite grasped the concept of "being insulted," but the slight tremor in his hand as he tried to explain his artistic intentions was a victory in my book. He was starting to feel. Even if it was just the vague sensation of being yelled at.
My next step in the "Operation: Make Sai Human" initiative was more hands-on. Or rather, more puppet-on. With my newly acquired Puppet Master Jutsu, I could now create my own brand of animated annoyance. And what better way to get under an emotionless person's skin than with a tiny, persistently irritating, yet utterly harmless entourage?
"You know, I used to think the pinnacle of annoyance was a never-ending telemarketing call. I was wrong. The pinnacle of annoyance is a tiny wooden puppet, designed by yours truly, whispering ludicrous compliments in your ear while you're trying to concentrate. It's an art form, really. And I'm Picasso."
I spent the next few days in secret, crafting my new masterpieces. They weren't grand, intricate human puppets like Sasori's. Oh no. These were small, palm-sized, crudely carved wooden figures. Each one meticulously designed to embody a specific type of irritation.
There was "Compliment-Bot," a tiny puppet with oversized lips that would incessantly praise Sai's drawings, no matter how bland or insulting they were. "Oh, Sai-kun, your lines are so… straight! Such exquisite precision! Your use of blank space truly speaks to my soul!"
Then there was "Question-Mark-Man," a puppet whose sole purpose was to ask inane, existential questions in a high-pitched voice. "Sai-sama, if a tree falls in the forest and no one is around, does it still make a sound? And if it does, is it a feeling sound?"
And finally, my personal favorite, "The Tiny Critic," a puppet with a perpetually judgmental frown, who would offer unsolicited, contradictory advice. "Sai-kun, your shading is simply divine. But perhaps a little less divine? More… angsty. No, wait, more joyful! Just… more."
[ADAM IZUKU: DEPLOYING THE ANNOYANCE SQUAD. INITIATE CONNECTION PROTOCOL.]
[SAI LIKE METER: 25% (A mix of curiosity and growing bewilderment)]
I deployed them during a particularly tedious lesson on chakra paper. Sai was, as usual, meticulously folding his paper, his expression as serene as a pond of stagnant water.
Suddenly, "Compliment-Bot" zipped into view, hovering directly in front of Sai's face. "Oh, Sai-kun! Your paper folding is simply exquisite! The creases! The angles! Such… crispness!"
Sai blinked. His smile remained, but his head tilted. He gently pushed the puppet away. It immediately zipped back.
Then, "Question-Mark-Man" floated in, circling his head. "Sai-sama, if one's chakra paper crumbles, does one truly exist? Are we merely figments of a larger, more chakra-infused dream?"
A faint tremor. Almost imperceptible. Sai's brush hand twitched.
And finally, "The Tiny Critic" appeared on his shoulder. "Sai-kun, your focus is commendable. But perhaps less focus? More… distraction. Yes, pure, unadulterated distraction. It truly brings out the… essence."
Sai stopped. He slowly put down his chakra paper. His smile finally, mercifully, slipped. Just for a second. It was replaced by a look that was less "happy" and more "I'm experiencing a profound sense of what is happening."
Naruto, always oblivious, just yawned. Sakura, however, noticed. Her eyes widened slightly as she watched Sai's normally placid face contort in a subtle grimace. Even Kakashi, whose visible eye had been half-closed, opened fully.
"Adam," Sai said, his voice a flat monotone, but with a new, underlying tension. "Are these… your creations?"
"Why, yes!" I beamed. "My 'Emotional Enhancers'! They're designed to help people express their inner feelings! Think of them as tiny, portable therapists! Only less expensive and infinitely more annoying. They're working, aren't they? I can sense a ripple in your emotional pond, Sai-kun!"
[SAI LIKE METER: 35% - ACQUIRABLE SKILLS: INK CLONE JUTSU (IMPROVED MASTERY), BASIC NINJA TOOL CREATION (INK)]
Sai stared at me, then at the chattering puppets, then back at me. A very, very slow flush began to creep up his neck.
"Oh, he's blushing! He's actually blushing! Or maybe he's just really, really constipated. Either way, it's a reaction! I'm practically a neuroscientist at this point. Or a professional irritant. Depends on who you ask, I guess."
"They are… quite persistent," Sai managed, his voice still flat, but with a hint of strain.
"Persistence is key to emotional growth, Sai-kun!" I declared. "Just keep feeling that… something! You're doing great!"
Suddenly, during a simple target practice exercise, as Sai was trying to hit a bullseye with a kunai, the puppets escalated. Compliment-Bot started cheering him on excessively, flying around his head. Question-Mark-Man began shouting questions about the philosophical implications of missing a target. And The Tiny Critic began demanding he use a different throwing technique.
Sai's kunai, instead of hitting the target, veered wildly off course and embedded itself in a tree precisely one inch from Naruto's head. Naruto yelped. Sakura gasped.
Sai, for the first time, slammed his fist onto the ground. No, not a punch like Sakura. More like a controlled, frustrated thud. But it was something.
"They are… distracting," he said through gritted teeth, his fake smile momentarily gone, replaced by a look of sheer, unadulterated annoyance.
"Distraction is the mother of invention, Sai-kun!" I chirped. "Or at least, the father of a really good primal scream! Feel it! Embrace the rage! It's progress!"
He turned his full, unblinking gaze on me, his annoyance now a tangible force. It was magnificent. The dam was cracking. And I was there, clipboard in hand (metaphorically), documenting every single glorious second of it. This was going to be a fun journey to the Tenchi Bridge.