Chapter 4: Baratie's Belly and the Black Leg's Brawl
[SYSTEM MESSAGE: NEW ADVENTURE PATH INITIATED. NEXT TARGET: BARATIE. RECOMMENDED ACTION: ACQUIRE CREWMATE. SECONDARY GOAL: MINOR SKILL ACQUISITION.]
"The Baratie! Finally, some decent food that doesn't involve me dying to get it. Though, knowing my luck, I'll probably end up choking on a fish bone and getting revived by a confused sea king. And Sanji! Oh, the drama, the chivalry, the sheer amount of smoke from those cigarettes. This is going to be a blast. Or, you know, a kicked-in-the-face blast. Either way, progress!"
After the dramatic, albeit somewhat self-inflicted, ordeal in Syrup Village, we were back on the open sea aboard the newly acquired Going Merry. Usopp, our newest addition, was still a nervous wreck, but he was our nervous wreck. Nami, ever the pragmatist, had already started mentally calculating how much money she could extort from rich people in the future using our new ship.
"Alright, navigator," I called out to Nami, who was busy scrutinizing a map. "What's the next stop on our grand tour of 'places where Adam will probably die hilariously'?"
Nami glanced at me, a flicker of something resembling grudging acceptance in her eyes, mixed with her usual exasperation. "We need a cook. Luffy's eating habits are going to bankrupt us, and Zoro's culinary skills extend to 'can I eat this raw?'"
"A cook, you say?" I mused, tapping my chin. "Excellent idea! I hear there's a certain floating restaurant in the East Blue where the food is exquisite, and the chef has an exceptionally refined palate for… ladies." My compass, ever helpful, subtly vibrated, pointing ahead. The Baratie. Perfect. A prime location for some more skill acquisition, even if it's just from some angry chefs.
"My body is ready. My wallet, however, is still desperately waiting for a massive infusion of Beri. Maybe I can convince Sanji to teach me how to cook. Or, failing that, how to steal food with style."
As we approached the Baratie, the sight of the fish-shaped restaurant was a welcome one. Finally, a place that promised culinary delights instead of just near-death experiences. Though, knowing me, it would probably provide both.
"Alright, crew!" I announced, striking a heroic pose at the bow of the Merry. "Prepare your stomachs! And your fists! Because I have a feeling this place is going to be… lively."
Lively it was. No sooner had we docked than a random Marine cannonball, aimed at the Baratie by a rather incompetent Marine (who clearly wasn't aiming for me, darn it), provided the necessary chaos. Luffy, predictably, deflected it, sending it flying back towards the Marine ship. And then, the obligatory "Luffy accidentally breaks the restaurant" scene, and the introduction of Sanji.
Sanji, a whirlwind of kicks and chivalry, quickly established himself. And just as quickly, he established his disdain for me, mostly because I kept trying to "help" him with his lady-gazing.
"Don't stare at the lovely Nami-san, you pervert!" Sanji yelled, aiming a kick at my face.
I deftly dodged, using a bit of Kuro's Pussyfoot Maneuver. "Woah there, chef! Just appreciating the scenery! Can't a man admire beauty? Besides, you should be focused on the food! You wouldn't want to burn the, uh, appetizers."
This, of course, led to a comedic brawl between Sanji and myself. He was fast, surprisingly powerful, and ridiculously agile. I, on the other hand, was rubbery, chop-able, and faster than I looked.
"Alright, Sanji. Time to see what you've got. I'm not aiming for your awesome kicking style yet – that's a future death for sure – but maybe I can pick up something useful from your crewmates. Or just annoy you enough to accidentally kill me. It's a goal, not a suggestion."
The chaos on the Baratie was ripe for some casual "skill farming" from lesser opponents. While Luffy was occupied with Don Krieg's pathetic attempts at intimidation, and Zoro was enjoying a good fight with any random goon, I started my own side quest.
I spotted a particularly brutish chef, currently trying to smash a chair over Usopp's head. "Hey, big guy!" I called out, stretching a rubbery arm to grab the chair before it connected. "Bad table manners! That's a nice chair, you know."
The chef roared, turning his attention to me. "You little punk! I'll break every bone in your body!" He swung a massive kitchen cleaver at me.
"Oh, please try," I said, my Chop-Chop ability ready. "I'm always looking for new ways to experience life. And death. Mostly death, actually."
The chef landed a heavy blow with his cleaver. It connected with my arm, and while it didn't slice it (Chop-Chop fruit, baby!), the sheer blunt force of it still sent a jarring shock through me. Not enough to kill, but enough to register.
"Hmm, not quite the death I'm looking for. But it's a good start. I need someone truly skilled to off me if I want a decent ability. Maybe one of Krieg's commanders? Gin, perhaps? Or that guy with the poison gas? Oh, the possibilities!"
During the ongoing battle with Don Krieg's pirate fleet, the Baratie became a battlefield. Sanji was a whirlwind of kicks, protecting the restaurant and its patrons. Luffy was being Luffy, fighting Krieg with rubbery abandon. And I? I was meticulously observing, looking for my next "opportunity."
My compass subtly twitched, pointing towards a large, burly man with a distinctive armor. Gin, the Demon. He was powerful, skilled, and currently engaged in a brutal fight with Sanji.
"Gin, you magnificent bastard. You're just what the doctor ordered. Tough, strong, and definitely capable of delivering a good, solid death. Plus, you're not a clown, which is a bonus."
I waited for my moment. Sanji was momentarily incapacitated after a particularly nasty blow from Gin. Luffy was still distracted with Krieg. This was it.
"Hey, Gin!" I yelled, stepping between him and a downed Sanji. "You know, for a guy who's supposed to be a 'demon,' you're really just a brute. No finesse! No style! Just… big muscles and a boring weapon. Can't you do anything flashy?"
Gin's eyes, cold and merciless, fixed on me. "Get out of the way, human. Or I'll crush you." He held up his tonfas, heavy metal weapons that looked like they could shatter concrete.
"Crush me, you say?" I mused, tapping my chin. "Well, that sounds promising. Let's see if you've got what it takes. Or are you just all talk and no… well, you know, 'crushing'?"
[SYSTEM MESSAGE: KILLER DETECTED. GIN. RECOMMENDED ACTION: ENGINEER DEATH. ACQUISITION: TONFA MASTERY.]
Gin roared, utterly fed up with my insolence. He lunged, unleashing a flurry of devastating blows with his tonfas. I braced myself, letting my rubbery body absorb the initial impacts. Each blow was a dull, heavy thud, rattling my bones. I felt the impact reverberate through me, a sickening crunching sensation. He was strong. Very strong.
He focused his attack, aiming for my chest, his movements precise and brutal. I could feel my ribs cracking, my internal organs protesting. The world swam before my eyes. This was a physical, bone-shattering death. Not elegant, but effective.
The final blow connected with my head, a jarring impact that blacked out my vision instantly.
[SYSTEM MESSAGE: DEATH RECORDED. KILLER: GIN. ABILITY ACQUIRED: TONFA MASTERY. REVIVAL INITIATING. PLEASE WAIT.]
"Ugh, my head. That's going to leave a mark. Or at least, a phantom ache. But Tonfa Mastery! Sweet! Now I can hit things really hard with blunt objects. My inner beat-cop is screaming with delight. Now if only I had some actual tonfas..."
I opened my eyes, lying on the deck of the Baratie, amidst the debris of battle. Gin was still standing over Sanji, ready to deliver a finishing blow, but he paused, his eyes widening as he saw me stir.
"You… you're alive?!" Gin stammered, his voice laced with disbelief. "I crushed you!"
"You certainly did, my friend," I said, sitting up with a groan, rubbing my phantom head injury. "Excellent work, really. Top-notch crushing. I give it a solid 9 out of 10 for bone-shattering impact. Though, you missed a spot. My spirit, apparently, is uncrushable. And now, thanks to you, so are my future Tonfa skills!" I wiggled my fingers, a strange, intuitive understanding of the heavy weapons flooding my mind. I could almost feel the weight, the balance, the striking power.
Gin was utterly bewildered, his "demon" persona cracking.
Sanji, who was slowly recovering, looked at me with a mixture of awe and exasperation. "You… you let him hit you?"
"For science, dear chef," I said with a wink. "For science! And for the inevitable future where I'll need to beat someone with a large, blunt object. You never know when that skill will come in handy."
As Luffy eventually defeated Don Krieg, and Sanji officially joined the crew, I couldn't help but feel a sense of triumph. Another skill acquired, another step closer to invincibility, and another reason for Nami to pull her hair out.
"Alright, Sanji," I said, clapping him on the shoulder, "welcome to the crew! Prepare for adventure, delicious food, and the occasional, highly strategic death. It's a lifestyle."
Sanji just sighed, lighting a cigarette. "As long as there are beautiful women, I'm in."
"Oh, trust me," I said, gazing out at the open sea, "there will be beautiful women. And one of them, in particular, will be mine. Eventually. Probably after I die a few more times for her. It's a courtship strategy."