Kazuki had only wanted tea.
A nice warm cup. Maybe a snack. Possibly some peace.
But instead, he was standing in a marble arena with twenty thousand people screaming his name and fireworks going off overhead.
"I swear I was just trying to visit the snack booth," he mumbled.
Next to him, Aurelis stood stiff in shining armor, trying not to cry.
"You signed us up for the Grand Royal Tournament!"
"I thought it was a food menu!"
"IT SAID 'BATTLE MENU.'"
"…I thought that was a type of buffet."
✦
One Week Earlier (A Flashback Kazuki Forgot)
A bored clerk yawned behind a registration table.
"Name?"
Kazuki looked at the form. "Uh… this is for the royal festival, right?"
"Yeah, yeah," the clerk said. "Just sign here for entry."
Kazuki nodded.
Entry sounds like food.
He signed.
The paper shimmered.
[YOU HAVE REGISTERED FOR THE 239th ROYAL TOURNAMENT OF GLORY]
Kazuki blinked. "Wait, what?"
The clerk was already gone. The booth exploded into confetti.
✦
Present – Tournament Arena
Trumpets blared. Banners flew. Vendors shouted over the roar of the crowd.
"GRILLED MANA SQUID! FORTUNE SUSHI! FLAMING TAKOYAKI—BANNED IN SEVEN PROVINCES!"
Kazuki was in armor that didn't quite fit. Smile wore a tiny cape. Tala rode on Oro's head, who looked annoyed but regal.
Aurelis glared.
"Do you even know how to fight?"
Kazuki shrugged. "Sort of? I mean, I have a frying pan and a lot of momentum."
"You have NO sword technique."
"True. But I do have a very dangerous lack of balance."
Aurelis stared. "You're not serious—"
A gong rang.
"FIRST MATCH: KAZUKI VS. GENERAL FURAI, THE GALE FIST!"
A hulking warrior stepped out, wind swirling around him, muscles rippling, fists glowing with cyclone mana.
Kazuki waved awkwardly. "Hi. Uh, love your scarf."
The general grunted. "Prepare yourself."
Kazuki stepped forward.
Tripped on his own shoe.
Stumbled.
Fell headfirst into the general's stomach.
BOOM.
A massive shockwave blasted through the arena. Wind exploded in all directions. Dust swirled.
When it cleared…
Kazuki was lying dazed in the center of the ring.
The general?
Flat on his back. Unconscious.
Crowd: "HE DEFEATED GALE FIST WITH A SINGLE MOVE!"
Kazuki: "I THINK I BROKE MY SPINE."
[Victory: Round One] Kazuki has advanced to the Quarterfinals.
Public nickname updated: [The Human Cannonball]
Back in the royal box, King Daisho leaned forward.
"Interesting. He moves like a buffoon… yet strikes like fate itself."
His advisor scribbled furiously. "Shall I rewrite the prophecy again, Your Majesty?"
"Make it bolder."
✦
Later That Day
Kazuki soaked in a tub of herbal water, covered in bandages.
Aurelis stood nearby with a tray of tea, sulking.
"I should be the one in the spotlight," he muttered. "Not some noodle-headed klutz who wins by falling over."
Kazuki smiled wearily. "You're in the spotlight. Just… in my shadow."
"I HATE YOU."
"You'll get used to it."
Smile has begun accepting bets on Kazuki's matches. Odds of winning: 100:1 Odds of falling, tripping, and still winning anyway: 5:1