It was supposed to be a quiet morning.
Kazuki had planned it out. Wake up. Do some stretches. Feed Smile a suspiciously glowing fruit he found. Sip on tea while Tala hunted squirrels in the palace garden. Maybe avoid any new responsibilities.
That dream exploded the moment he opened his bedroom door.
"SIR KAZUKI! CAN I GET YOUR AUTOGRAPH?!"
"PLEASE SIGN MY BATTLE POT!"
"WILL YOU BLESS MY CABBAGE?"
A full-on crowd had gathered in the royal hallway. Guards were struggling to hold them back. One even offered Kazuki a quill and said, "Please sign my spear! It touched the floor where you fell yesterday!"
Kazuki blinked.
"…Why?"
"Because you're the People's Hero!"
Behind him, Aurelis slowly emerged, still in his sleep robe, with his hair in a tragic morning mess. He took one look at the fan crowd and muttered, "I swear I just had a dream you became more popular than me. This must still be it."
Smile jiggled past his leg and launched into the crowd like a celebrity blob, getting dozens of cheers.
✦
Later, in the Royal Market
Kazuki wandered the cobbled streets in disguise—hood up, cloak on, one of Tala's feathers glued to his forehead for "mystical disguise power."
Oro floated beside him, holding a royal-issued spending pouch.
"Kazuki," the falcon said, "I must inform you… your image is being merchandised."
Kazuki blinked. "Merch-what now?"
Oro gestured to the nearest shop.
THE CHAOS SAINT EMPORIUM
Official Kazuki battle plushies!
Smile slime gummies (banned in three prefectures for bounciness)
"I Tripped My Way to Victory" novelty shirts Signed frying pans (yes, really)
Kazuki walked in and was immediately blinded by the sheer amount of pastel colors and glitter.
"Is… is that a life-size plush of me?"
"Indeed," Oro said solemnly. "It even flops when thrown. Realistic, I'm told."
Aurelis came in behind them, took one look, and nearly walked into a support beam.
"…I hate this timeline."
✦
Flashback – The Merchandising Incident
After Kazuki's accidental win in Round One, a local bard guild tried to write an ironic ballad about him called "The Tumbling Savior."
Instead, the song hit #1 on the Tenshika charts for three straight days. Street performers sang it. Kids danced to it. The royal court approved a mini-series. Kazuki's image—awkward smile, windblown hair, and half-torn armor—became iconic.
Somehow, the nation fell in love.
Even worse, the bard responsible was now very, very rich.
"Your incompetence is profitable!" Aurelis had screamed when he found out.
Kazuki only shrugged. "Should I… charge per fall?"
✦
Back at the Tournament Arena – Round Two Day
Kazuki stood in the locker room, staring at the wall.
"I shouldn't be here," he said.
Oro was polishing his tiny ceremonial dagger. "And yet, fate continues to disagree."
Smile jiggled onto a bench and left a slime trail shaped like Kazuki's face.
Tala perched above them all, preening. "The crowd is chanting for you."
Aurelis paced, armor gleaming again, posture stiff.
"Your opponent today is… Kazan the Blazing Chef. Ranked third in national combat cooking."
Kazuki paused. "Combat… cooking?"
"He uses flaming utensils and scalding broth bombs," Aurelis muttered bitterly. "Trained by the Soup Shoguns of Suten."
"Sounds… deliciously dangerous."
✦
Match Two Begins
Trumpets blared. The announcer's voice echoed over the arena:
"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! WELCOME TO ROUND TWO! IN THIS CORNER—THE UNSTOPPABLE, UNPREDICTABLE, UNFATHOMABLY UNLUCKY—KAZUKIIIIIIII!"
Crowd: "KAZUKI! KAZUKI! KAZUKI!"
Kazuki peeked out, cheeks red. "They really like me…"
His opponent stepped into the ring: a massive man with a chef's hat reinforced with steel, a blazing wok in one hand, and a ladle that glowed red-hot in the other.
"I am Kazan! My broth boils with fury! Taste the spice of defeat!"
Kazuki muttered, "Why do these people always talk like they're auditioning for an anime?"
Oro: "What's an anime?"
The bell rang.
Kazan hurled a steaming omelette the size of a kite at him. Kazuki ducked—tripped—tumbled—and accidentally kicked the omelette back into Kazan's face.
It exploded in a burst of flaming cheese.
Kazan howled, blinded.
Kazuki, still rolling, bounced off the arena's edge, hit a loose banner pole, slingshotted himself upward, and landed headfirst on Kazan's shoulder.
CRACK.
Kazan collapsed.
The arena went wild.
Announcer: "VICTORY TO KAZUKI, BY DIVINE SLAPSTICK!"
Crowd: "KAZUKI! KAZUKI! KAZUKI!"
Aurelis looked like he might vomit glitter.
✦
Post-Match Chaos
Back in the prep room, Kazuki winced while a healer dabbed ointment on his elbow.
"That omelette was really hot."
Tala snorted. "You vaporized an omelette and a national champion with your face."
Aurelis slammed his sword down on a nearby bench. "You're not even trying! How do you keep winning?!"
Kazuki looked thoughtful. "Maybe I'm just lucky."
Oro adjusted his feathers. "Or maybe… you're chosen."
"No way," Kazuki said quickly. "There's no way this world is actually designed for me to win by falling on things."
Smile jiggled mysteriously.
Far away, thunder rumbled. A divine script twitched.
Kazuki's Fame Level has increased!
You are now: Local Hero
Next title unlock: Beloved National Treasure (Oops Edition)
New Quest Unlocked: Survive the Semifinals Without Tripping (Optional)