I padded the hidden pocket on my dress as I walked home later that day, reassuring myself it still sat snuggly within. I still wasn't sure what to do with it, or how I could use it to help mother. All I knew for sure was that lord seemed to need more of them, and people somewhere were dying without them, which made me think it had to be used for some kind of medicine.
I was almost surprised at how easily I'd smuggled it from the garden, almost as if stealing one was something the Sanctari would never expect someone to do. It made sense in a way, no one else ever seemed to question or do anything they weren't supposed to.
But would it even do anything?
When I finally made it home, the sun had just begun to duck beneath the distant spines of the mountains surrounding the village.
Rheinan sat in his usual place beside mother's bed, but as I entered, he had a panicked look in his eyes. A glance at her told me why. She was worse. Far worse than she looked the night before. Her lips were pale as milk, skin almost translucent now with darkened veins showing more visibly than I'd remembered. I held my breath for a moment; not sure she was breathing at all. After a pregnant moment, her chest finally rose, and I let mine fall.
Shame twisted in my gut at the relief I'd felt, thinking she'd already gone. I noticed Father mumbling to himself from his chair by the fire, a reminder that he would be of no help, soon we'd be on our own.
This was it, she would leave us soon, it was time to accept it. I stood there in a daze, until I felt Rheinan grab my wrist.
"Aine please, we have to do something. She's worse, Aine," Rheinan's voice cracked, the trembling of his words felt like a knife twisting in my gut.
I had to try.
"Is that.." Rheinan's eyes grew wide as I pulled the stolen flower from my dress.
"I think it might help her, but I don't know for sure."
Rheinan looked to our mother, maybe hoping she could answer for herself, but she only shuddered, her eyes still closed. After another moment, he turned and nodded.
I set my hands to work, grinding the flowers with stone and stirring them in warm water.
Rheinan stared nervously as I poured the contents into a wooden cup. I smiled reassuringly as I held it to mother's lips and tilted it carefully, hoping she would swallow. When she finally did, I felt my shoulders sag with relief.
Rheinan and I both sat, waiting for a miracle.
I prayed silently, not to the cruel gods in the sky, or to anything I could name. I just prayed. For her fever to break, for her strength to return, for her eyes to open and see us again. But her breathing only seemed to slow, until with a sob from Rheinan that shattered me, it stopped.
Rheinan stood over their mother, his tiny hands clutching at her shoulders, as if he could shake her to life.
"Mom.. Momma please," he looked to me, tears streaming down his face. His eyes begging me to do something.
I just stood there, mouth hanging open as if someone had stolen the words. Unable to even console him as he wept. Sound stopped as I stared, his choked sobs fading into the background as if a pane of glass were placed between us.
A moment later the glass seemed to shatter as Rheinan's voice cut through.
"Aine! Aine, she's breathing!"
Hope swelled in me as I saw he was right, but something felt wrong as her eyes flitted open. They looked empty, their warmness gone, as she looked around the room like she'd never seen it before.
Rheinan didn't seem to notice the change, before I could stop him, he raced across the room to wrap his arms around her.
"It worked, Aine! You did it!"
"Rheinan, there's something wrong," I said, panic in my voice as I moved to pull him back.
A voice from the other side of the room froze me a few steps from the bed. My father's, I realized, as I turned my head to look at him.
"Aine?" he asked, his eyes scanning me up and down, as if he wasn't completely sure.
I just stood there, mouth agape, trying to wrap my head around everything happening. He was awake. His eyes as clear as the day he left with the gods.
"Eunice," he said, staring at our mother, his voice clear as I remembered as a girl.
A thread of hope wove itself together, only to snap as my father howled. It was the saddest sound I'd ever heard anyone make, low, as if despair had forced the wind from his chest.
I turned towards the source of his lament just in time to see Rheinan's headless body tumble to the floor. My mind reeled, the pain, the guilt, the terror too much to process as I crumbled to the floor, unable to breathe as I stared at her.
I wanted to die, I wanted to pay for this mistake, this horror I had wrought unto my family.
She sat straight up now, drenched in my brother's blood, his head still resting in her lap as she stared into my eyes.
"Come, Aine. We can finally be a family again," My mother's voice echoed inside my skull.
This thing was not my mother, still the words borrowed her voice as they flooded my mind. I felt myself grow weaker as they drowned out my will to act, to flee. I sat paralyzed as she leaned toward me, her face inches from mine.
The room melted away, the rough-hewn walls and bloodstained floor replaced by an endless meadow of blossoms. Their petals pulsed with colors I'd never seen, bleeding light into the air. My skin warmed as the glow enveloped me, I drew them in with each breath, as if they were the air itself.
'Beautiful,' I breathed, marveling at the swirling hues, feeling at peace in a way I never had before. I wanted to stay there forever.
I looked up to see my mother, no longer wearing my brother's blood. She looked down at me with warmth on her face, her eyes as loving as I'd always remembered them. She seemed whole, as she'd been before the sickness had taken her strength. Her arms no longer bore the streaks of blackened veins as they outstretched to embrace me.
'It worked,' I thought, 'We can be a family again.'
I stood, ready to throw myself at her, to throw my arms around her just as Rheinan had.
Rheinan .. The thought made me freeze.
"Rheinan," I managed, my voice catching slightly as I stared into my mother's eyes. "Where's Rheinan?"
"I will take you to him," she said, a warm smile still etched onto her face, but her voice was wrong.
It sounded like a hundred voices, all speaking the same words with different emotions. I heard my mother's voice say them as if she were angry, and happy and horrified all at once. Her face contorted as she stepped closer, her smile more unnatural now.
I stepped back, fear returning as I started to remember that this was not my mother.
But maybe she was in there somewhere, maybe this thing was just controlling her.
If I could only call out to her, but as I tried, my voice no longer made a sound.
I felt cool tears streaming down my face as I sat there, unable to move, unable to do anything but stare into its eyes... Eyes that once held a mother's love, hollow now. I scanned them, praying for a trace of her, but only the monster stared back.
Its eyes seemed to swallow me as my world slipped into darkness.
Am I dead? I asked myself, unable to feel anything as I drifted there, suspended in endless quiet.
Something broke the silence, something distant. A voice, I realized. It grew louder as I strained to focus on it. It sounded like my father; he was screaming…something. I concentrated, struggling to make out the words.
I rose through the darkness, willing myself towards the sound. Pushing, clawing upward until finally I burst through its surface, my senses flooding back to me at once.
"Aine-AINE…RUN!" He shouted, fear cracked in his voice as he struggled to hold her down. His hand clutched a knife, planted firmly in her eye, yet she still struggled beneath him. He turned to look at me, begging me again to flee.
"Aine, you have to run…you have to-" the words died in his throat as my mother's arm burst through his spine. A sob wracked my lungs as his arms went limp, the flat of my mother's hand dripping his blood as the life left his eyes.
I killed them…I just wanted to help, and I killed them all.
My mind reeled as I bolted for the door, thrusting it open.
"I'm so sorry," I rasped, my voice torn with grief. Without looking back, I ran.