After taking a log detour, after which he used the SCP-approved teleportation (using Warp travel here would disturb Alaya – dang thing's still searching for him!) to return home, Shinji removed his armour. Seeing him shrink back to his normal, 1.75 m teenage size, Artoria Caster (affectionately known as Castoria in certain worlds, if you know what I mean, *wink*, *wink*...) still could not shut her mouth. "Teacher never told me humans can change shapes! Tell me, how did you do it! Tell me, tell me!"
At this, Shinji's conjecture was proven: Seems she's not human after all... But how does she still have round ears?
Shaking his head at the unnecessary thought, he knew he had to invite the troublemakers here – the blasted chat's been blowing in his ears for the past hour and a half!
Unable to handle the sheer amount of ringing coming through, he gritted his teeth before accepting their invitations. I can handle Stelle, she's demure enough. I just hope the second one is not a chaos cunt...
Blocking the doors to the warehouse, Shinii let out a belated breath, before speaking.
"I, Shinji Matou, accept the invitation, and allow these members to come to my world!"
He didn't need to say these, but doing so allowed him to keep his confidence high, for he knew most of the younger members were complete and utter degens, whether they be through their indecent attitude, or an even more indecent outfit.
And boy was he right
Emerging from one of the two portals was a large trash can, from which rustling could be heard, along with a grey skirt dangling from the edge:
Stelle seems to have gained a penchant for dumpster diving, and she seems to be enjoying it, terribly
Slapping his cheeks, Shinji could not believe what had happened to the pure Stelle. Gone was the pure, demure lady, who always stood behind Welt Yang, corner peeking cautiously. "Dang it, wipe the newspaper from the edge of your mouth, you crackpot of a raccoon! Castoria, help her!"
As a shaking Castoria began moving smidges of trash hidden in her hair, Shinji turned towards the other portal, praying to the Emperor that the next member would have the least semblance of order.
Boy was he wrong
"Tantaran! Look who's HERE! It's your best, it's your only, last and greatest Master of humanity, Fujimaru Ritsuka!"
Swinging her hands like bully Macguire from Spiderman 3 (good movie, you should totally watch it), Gudako–, sorry, last master of Chaldea, Fujimaru Ritsuka emerged, wearing a necklace of Hawaiian flowers. Behind her was the panicking figure of a glasses-wearing, short purple-haired girl, whom Shinji recognised as Mash Kyrelight.
Giving her a sympathetic glance, he turned his attention towards the now barely-clean Stelle, who was now clawing Castoria as she tried to wrestle a bag of dirty rice away from her (surprisingly, Castoria was on the losing end. Scratches could be seen on her face, some tufts of hair falling from her puffy hat. Man was she a coward for a Servant!). Ever since Ritsuka found out that behind her stood one of the greatest Angels of the Emperor, her behaviour went off the rails quicker than Orion getting caught by Artemis trying to flirt with another woman.
Man did I screw up here...
Clearing his throat, Shinji asked the duo, "Have you lot prepared your Catalyst to summon your Servant?"
Puffing her modestly sized assets, Ritsuka took out a small box. Eyes clouding with darkness, she chuckled darkly, giving Shinji, one of the greatest Captains' of the Ultramar, a sense of foreboding. Not knowing where it came from, he turned towards Stelle (who now stood above the defeated corpse of Castoria, with her trash bag and bat in hand, Castoria at the bottom, foaming at the mouth, with eyes crossed), eye raised. "And you...?"
Wiping the last traces of dust from her brows (like a raccoon who has won the trash wars), she tilted her head, confused.
"What's a Catalyst?"
Fuck my life...