Chapter 1: Blue Screen of Rebirth
Lin Feng died to a drone delivering vegan sushi.
His last thought? "Should've ordered extra wasabi..."
Then came the heavenly error message:
[SOUL TRANSFER FAILED: ERROR 404]
He woke up choking on spirit pollen—a cough worth three months of an outer disciple's salary. Jade-faced cultivators sneered: "Mortal trash." Their sword hilts glowed with runes Lin Feng parsed as... CSS animation code.
When a bully's "Mountain-Crushing Fist" aimed at his dantian, Lin Feng's vision flashed:
[ ! ] CRITICAL SYSTEM ERROR
Host's Core Integrity = 0%
>>> Run SPIRIT_OS_Installer.exe? [Y/N]
He mentally hammered Y.
QR constellations exploded behind his eyelids:
Welcome to SPIRIT OS 1.0!
User: Lin Feng | Cultivation: Stack Overflow
The holographic store unfolded:
FREE: Qi Condensation Wallpaper PackVIP Subscription (99灵石/month): Ad-Free CultivationFLASH DEAL: GitHub Sword Control v1.2 (50% OFF → 499灵石)
"Microtransactions? In a xianxia world?!" Lin Feng choked.
Elder Bai's voice thundered: "Present your spiritual roots!"
The testing stone glowed... then crashed.
ERROR: Incompatible Qi Signature
Solution: Jailbreak Qi Veins? (Risk: 87% Soul Fragmentation)
"Screw it." Lin Feng grinned. "sudo rm -rf /meridian_blockages"
Agony. His bones screamed as spirit veins rewrote themselves in Python:
def cultivate(qi): while qi < 1000: qi += (user.vip_status * 0.1) return "Foundation Establishment"
defcultivate(qi): while qi < 1000: qi += (user.vip_status * 0.1) return"Foundation Establishment"
"CHEATER!" A sword humming with malware-red runes tore toward his throat.
[THREAT DETECTED]
FREE TRIAL SHIELD ACTIVATED
The blade pierced the flickering barrier like parchment.
TRIAL EXPIRED. UPGRADE NOW?
Three options burned in his vision:
1. [1,000灵石] Java Sword Array
One-time AOE attack (May leak memory)
2. [5,000灵石] Python Divine Shield PRO
Permanent damage immunity (99.9% uptime)
3. [50,000灵石] Root Access: Heavenly Dao
Beta feature (WARNING: May attract tribulation)
The blade tip hovered at 0.01 inches. Countdown flashed:
SELECTION TIME: 5... 4... 3...
Lin Feng stabbed Option 2 just as—
CRACK!
Frost froze the sword. A woman descended, her beauty glitching reality:
WARNING: ADMIN DETECTED
USER: Bingqing Luo, CEO of Ice Phoenix Sect
STATUS: Filing antitrust lawsuit against SPIRIT OS
Her jade finger lifted his chin. "Who gave you my beta access code?"
The crowd gasped. The bully pissed his pants.
Lin Feng's system buzzed:
NEW MISSION: Survive CEO interrogation
REWARD: "Tinder for Tribulations" App (9,999灵石 Value)
Final alert popped up:
YOUR PYTHON SHIELD PAYMENT IS PROCESSING...
(To Be Continued)