CHAPTER 3: The Goddess and the Guitarist – Surviving Wrongly
---
Part 1: Noona, Summoned and Slightly Annoyed
The grand marble chamber hummed with arcane energy.
Candles flickered. The summoning circle glowed.
And in the center stood Noona—
Unmoving. Unimpressed. Hair flowing like she was in a divine shampoo ad.
Eyes half-lidded, as if she'd just been interrupted mid-sheet mask.
A dozen robed mages stared at her like she was the answer to their kingdom's Tinder prayers.
One of them finally found the courage to kneel.
> "O beautiful goddess from another world… we humbly ask that you bless our kingdom and—"
> "No," she said flatly.
The room paused.
> "Pardon, my lady?"
> "No." She stepped off the glowing circle. "Where am I? Where's my husband? And did you just say 'from another world'?"
One of the younger mages shuffled forward nervously.
> "W-We summoned you to aid us in our darkest hour! You are the chosen one!"
> "Do I look like I came here to work unpaid overtime?"
> "W-What?"
> "I was wearing a face mask. It was skincare night."
> "M-My lady—"
> "And don't 'my lady' me like I'm some fantasy waifu. If you don't tell me where my husband is in ten seconds, I will rearrange your teeth by divine grace."
No one knew what that meant.
But her tone dropped the room temperature ten degrees.
She didn't raise her voice.
She didn't lift a hand.
She just glared.
And three mages passed out.
---
Part 2: Raiko, Disrespected and Disarmed (Except Not Really)
Somewhere far from royalty and robed nerds—
Raiko sat on a broken crate in the middle of a muddy village, staring at a wooden sign:
> "New Adventurers Register Here!"
He looked around.
Everyone else had swords, armor, staffs, even weird glowing pets.
Raiko had:
– A ratty band hoodie.
– Cargo pants with one pocket ripped.
– And a secondhand guitar slung across his back like a cursed relic from a pawnshop that also sells beef jerky.
> "Cheat power? Hello?" he yelled at the sky. "A map? A status screen? ANYTHING? Who's in charge of isekai logistics?!"
A passing merchant chuckled.
> "Hah. Another summoned freak. Always think they're special."
Raiko stood up slowly, eye twitching.
> "Oi. I may be broke and confused, but this thing slaps harder than your mom's sandal. Move along before I write your eulogy in solos."
The merchant walked faster.
---
Part 3: Two Roads, Same Doom
Noona was eventually escorted out of the palace.
She told the royal stylist he needed therapy.
She also threatened to remove a noble's monocle using telekinesis.
(It wasn't real. But he still flinched.)
Now she wandered the capital marketplace.
A group of men tried to flirt.
> "Hey gorgeous, new in tow—"
> "You look like you bathe in cologne and bad decisions," she replied.
They fled like she threw daggers.
A minor noble offered her a "private retainer contract."
> "Did your mom dress you this morning?"
He choked on his wine.
People whispered as she passed:
> "The goddess… she bites."
---
Meanwhile…
Raiko tried to join an adventuring party.
They looked at his guitar.
His lack of armor.
His general vibe of sarcastic deadbeat bard.
And rejected him.
> "You don't have magic," they said. "We don't take non-essentials."
Raiko flipped them off and walked away.
> "I got rhythm, I got riffs, and I got rage. Go back to your potion tutorial."
---
Closing Scene
At sunset, the sky turned gold.
Two tired people. In two different places.
One munched on free bread samples like a bored queen.
The other strummed haunting notes for copper coins while children stared—unsure if it was music or a curse.
They didn't know it yet.
But soon...
They'd meet again.
And the world would never recover.
---
[TO BE CONTINUED]
—
> — Author's Note —
This chapter marks the official start of the double protagonist energy.
Noona handles nobles like acne. Raiko handles peasants like stage dives.
Neither of them are surviving correctly—and that's the point.
– H. Behevras
—
© 2025 H. Behevras | First published on Royal Road
Do not repost without permission.