Title: I Was Isekai'd With My Wife and Now She's the Final Boss of the Fandom Author: H. Behevras Genre: Comedy, Isekai, Music, Married Protagonist, Parody Tags: #FinalBossWife #MetalheadMC #BoybandHell #TrashIsekaiButActuallyGenius
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Side Story Chapter. 2: "Trials of the Pen: How I Nearly Died Just to Post My Novel Online"
(Or: The Application Process at Royal Novel Net-Site Is a Crime Against Humanity)
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🪓 CONTEXT:
Raiko wants to publish his totally-not-self-insert harem metal novel.
But to upload it on the Royal Novel Net-Site, the greatest literature archive in the kingdom (which looks suspiciously like a cursed scroll-powered version of some publishing apps), he must pass five ridiculous trials—because obviously, posting fiction in this world is harder than slaying a hydra.
And of course, Raiko believes this site was made by his haters.
> "I don't even remember offending any librarians, but here we are."
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⚔️ THE FIVE TRIALS OF THE ROYAL NOVEL NET-SITE
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Trial 1: The Debate-Ring of Truth
A marble-floored coliseum where aspiring authors must debate three Elder Scribes.
Debate topics include:
"Is a power fantasy still valid if the MC is hot?"
"Are stomp cults a legitimate narrative device?"
"Should harem tags be banned or embraced?"
Raiko wins 3 rounds with charisma, loses 1 due to yelling too loud, and the final round turns into a fistfight over the morality of power chords.
> "Your argument is flawed AND your kicks are weak!" – Raiko, Round 5
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Trial 2: The Mukbang of Sadness
He must eat 7 dishes made entirely of beans, gray gruel, and Human Kingdom culinary sadness.
Each bite removes 1 charisma point.
The goal is to finish everything without insulting the chef, an ancient culinary AI named "Sir Blandworth."
> Raiko's internal monologue:
"I'm dying. My taste buds are crying. This is revenge for the Metal Hijack."
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Trial 3: Tell Your Life Story to 3 Specific Strangers
Sounds simple. Except:
1. One is asleep.
2. One is bathing.
3. One is a paranoid dwarf with an automated turret named "Baby Boom."
Raiko must:
Trespass quietly.
Dodge a rotating towel cannon.
Bypass Baby Boom using drumstick distraction.
Deliver his story using dramatic voice acting and minimal shirt.
> Dwarf Stranger: "I never cried until now. But also get out of my house."
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Trial 4: Upload the Manuscript Using a Magical Interface That Crashes Every Time You Blink
The "Royal Novel Net-Site" uses a cursed mirror-scroll that accepts uploads in ".cringe" format only.
Raiko must:
Format chapters manually using spell runes
Avoid triggering the scroll's "Error 666: Unexpected Confidence"
> "Please verify you're not a bot…
Also write 10 reasons why your story matters, in iambic pentameter."
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Trial 5: Face the Final Mod
A faceless administrator made of rejection letters and crushed dreams.
It asks Raiko:
> "What makes your story worthy?"
Raiko responds:
> "Because it's stupid, chaotic, a bit loud, and somehow still full of heart.
Just like me."
The Mod stares for 30 seconds.
Then stamps his manuscript with approval.
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✅ STATUS: PUBLISHED
> Raiko screams in victory.
A single tear rolls down his cheek.
The upload took 38 hours and 2 near-deaths.
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BONUS:
📜 Royal Novel Net-Site™ Terms and Conditions (Raiko Did Not Read)
By submitting your manuscript, you hereby agree to the following:
1. You must not summon any ancient gods using punctuation alone.
Especially not via semicolons. We've had incidents.
2. You consent to minor soul fragmentation during formatting.
Your soul shards will be safely stored in the backup cache (unless it crashes).
3. Any protagonist that is too powerful, attractive, or shirtless must be labeled properly.
Tags include: #ExcessivePower #DangerouslyPretty #SimultaneousAbsAndTrauma
4. You agree to disclose whether your story contains:
At least one overpowered main character with childhood trauma
At least one tsundere with violence issues
At least one bath scene that contributes nothing to the plot
5. We reserve the right to summon you for a literary duel if three or more readers declare "This Feels Too Real."
6. You may not attack the Mod Council with words, swords, or emotionally charged author notes.
(Even if they nerf your favorite chapter.)
7. All readers' reactions are final and irreversible.
If they think your comedy is romance, then it's romance.
If they think your satire is serious, good luck.
8. Any in-world cults formed due to your fiction are entirely your responsibility.
We see you, Raiko.
9. All footnotes must be approved by a certified Literary Wizard.
Raiko failed this 4 times.
He submitted a footnote that just said "lol".
10. By clicking "I Agree", you waive your right to complain in future author notes, Reddit threads, or prophecy circles.
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Last Updated: Never.
Reader's Agreement: Already broken.
Writer's Mental Health: Not our problem.
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🧠 Raiko's Reaction:
> "...Wait, there were rules?"
turns to Noona
"What if I didn't mean to form a cult?"
Noona: "Too late. You're trending."
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TO BE CONTINUED
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Raiko's Author Note (from within the world)
> "Welcome to my novel. It's not a self-insert.
I just happen to be extremely handsome, extremely talented, and surrounded by extremely stomp-capable women.
Totally unrelated."
> —Chrome Blackslayer (aka Raiko, but don't tell Noona)
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© 2025 H. Behevras | First published on Royal Road
Do not repost without permission.
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