Title: I Was Isekai'd With My Wife and Now She's the Final Boss of the Fandom Author: H. Behevras Genre: Comedy, Isekai, Music, Married Protagonist, Parody Tags: #FinalBossWife #MetalheadMC #BoybandHell #TrashIsekaiButActuallyGenius
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Side Story Chapter 3: I Started Debating My Haters and Now I Can't Stop
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Raiko wiped the sweat from his brow as the crowd roared.
Another hater silenced.
Another intellectual duel won.
Another soul crushed beneath the weight of sheer melodic fury.
He stood shirtless in the center of the Debate-Ring—a stone-floored coliseum enchanted to glow red whenever someone's logic failed so hard it triggered a magical seizure.
The referee, an elf in ceremonial robes and emotional burnout, marked another victory.
"That's five this week, Raiko," the elf muttered, jotting into a scroll.
"I have a quota, you know."
Raiko cracked his knuckles and pointed at the collapsed critic twitching near the ring's edge.
"He said my music sounded like someone dropkicked a cat through a broken harp."
The elf sighed. "Still not a valid reason to powerbomb them into a thesis rebuttal."
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Earlier That Day...
On the cursed scroll-glass of Royal Novel Net-Site™, Raiko read the comment that triggered it all:
> [User: TrueTaste27]: "Your lyrics are nonsense, your riffs are repetitive, and your MC is literally just you with a bigger ego."
Raiko's pupils dilated.
> "I challenge thee... to the Debate-Ring."
He didn't eat. He didn't shower. He sharpened his metaphors.
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Debate-Ring Round One:
Opponent: Professor Bellavante the Bitter, former literature critic and current pretentious frogman.
Opening statement:
> "Your story lacks nuance and emotional depth. It's all STOMP and no substance."
Raiko replied by quoting three metal lyrics, a fan's heartfelt comment, and then screamed a counterpoint loud enough to make the arena pillars shake.
> "Stomp IS substance!"
The crowd chanted: "YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!"
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Round Two:
Opponent: A robed elf known only as 'GlitterQuill', who claimed all Raiko's metaphors were just noise.
Raiko came in swinging with:
> "Noise is subjective. Just like taste. And clearly, yours is trash."
He summoned a holographic pie chart illustrating emotional responses to his last performance. Then he uppercut the elf with a paragraph about how volume equals liberation.
The elf burst into tears.
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Round Three:
Opponent: Sir Pettypenn, an anonymous cloaked figure who represented the "Pure Fantasy Preservation League."
Sir Pettypenn: "You use modern slang in a medieval setting. It ruins immersion."
Raiko: "And yet you're fully immersed in whining."
He followed up with a monologue comparing his guitar riffs to dragon roars and freedom.
Sir Pettypenn exploded into a pile of critique dust.
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Back at Yu-Riella's House...
Noona walked into the living room. The dishes were done. The floor sparkled. The door, however, still hung from its hinges.
Raiko sat hunched over a scorched scroll, panting.
"Raiko," she said, arms crossed. "I handle the cleaning, cooking, stomping, and cult PR. All you had to do was fix the door."
He looked up, eyes haunted.
"They insulted my tone settings."
"Fix. The. Door."
Before Raiko could respond, a scroll blasted through the window and stuck itself in the wall.
He peeled it off and read:
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OFFICIAL NOTICE FROM MANAGEMENT
To: Raiko
Subject: Chill the Hell Out
> Your daily debate-ring duels are drawing attention. Bad attention.
If you continue:
Your solos will be censored with fairy chimes.
Your outfits replaced with pastel pink fluffy robes.
Your next stage performance will feature backup dancers shaped like cupcakes.
> Consider this your FINAL WARNING.
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Raiko dropped the scroll.
"They're threatening to pinkify my solos..."
Noona: "Good. Now fix the door."
Raiko: "...I'll start tomorrow."
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Author Note (In-Universe):
This side story has been discontinued due to sparkly threats from management. I regret nothing. Except the bean mukbang.
— Chrome Blackslayer (definitely not Raiko)
End of Side Story.
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Early Reviews of the Novel (Totally Not Written by Raiko):
> "He screamed and I passed my exams. 5/5."
— A totally real elf princess
> "I didn't even like metal before. Now I want him to yell at me."
— Vampire Sorceress of Midtempo Lust (verified fan)
> "There's so much muscle and sadness. I feel alive."
— Emotional Orc #3
> "Why is the bishop hot now??"
— Confused Church Intern
> "My knees exploded. I still give it 10/10."
— Debate-Ring Casualty
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Noona's Note (Written in red ink and fury):
> STOP WRITING THIS.
If I see another scene with "holy stomp awakening," I'm lighting your manuscript on fire.
— Your actual wife, who cooks your food and could poison it if she wanted to
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© 2025 H. Behevras | First published on Royal Road
Do not repost without permission.
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