The first thug scratched the back of his head awkwardly, mumbling,
"Say, what if I told you I wanna be a good guy from now on… would you believe me?"
"Nope. Not unless you get on your knees and confess, live for the crowd!"
The entire crowd shouted in sync.
Xu Zheng could only marvel at the whiplash.
Damn. Liyue NPCs got main-character energy today.
Redface was a natural-born sellout. When things went south, he knew exactly which ship to jump.
Thug #2 wasn't having it. He clenched his jaw and tried to tough it out.
"We didn't do anything! You're making stuff up!"
Thug #1 joined in indignantly, "We just came here to eat, and now we're being framed? Is there no justice in Liyue anymore?"
Just then, a familiar interface popped into Xu Zheng's vision.
[Mission Triggered]
Objective: Add two more broken-hearted souls to Liyue.
Description: Thug #1's daughter's real dad is Thug #2. Thug #2's son's real dad is Thug #1.
Requirement: Life is hard. Sometimes, your hat's just gotta be green. Time to become the Green-Headed Hero. Help them transform.
Reward: 20 Primogems.
Xu Zheng stared at the screen.
"...What the hell kind of back-alley Wattpad plot twist is this?"
Still, it checked out. These two really did mutually NTR each other.
What a touching display of bromance.
For the sake of their spiritual liberation, Xu Zheng asked sincerely,
"You two are real close, huh?"
"Of course!" they answered in perfect sync. "We're so close we used to share pants!"
"Oh, then I believe you. You're free to go."
The two thugs froze, staring at him like he'd just grown horns.
Huh? That's it?
That easy?
Even the spectators looked confused. If it were up to them, they'd never let these two walk free. After all, they'd tried to smear the restaurant's name. If rumors spread, Wanmin Restaurant's rep would crash harder than a drunk Ruin Guard.
But then—
"Wait!"
Just as the pair reached the door, Xu Zheng called out, casually tossing over his shoulder:
"Hey. Ever notice your kids don't really look like you? But weirdly, kinda look like your best friend?"
The door creaked.
A beat passed.
Then…
"YOU MOTHERF—!"
The street exploded into cursing, fists flying, legs flailing.
Good brothers? More like good cuckolds.
Back in the shop, the crowd was still puzzling out Xu Zheng's cryptic parting shot.
Miss Ying'er, however, was quick on the uptake. She patted Xu Zheng on the shoulder and grinned,
"My, my, little Xu Zheng. How'd you know all that? Unless… you too?"
Xu Zheng rolled his eyes and pointed at Redface.
Snitch, party of one.
Redface, caught completely off guard, took the blame without protest.
But hey—if he was gonna turn over a new leaf, might as well start with carrying someone else's crime. Small price to pay to ride the hero's coattails.
From now on, it was Sir Xu Zheng to him.
"Follow me."
Xu Zheng still had some questions. He led Redface into a private room, with Xiangling and Ganyu trailing behind.
"Spill it," Xu Zheng said.
Redface took a deep breath and began:
"Chayevich didn't just send us to stir up shit at Wanmin. He's also printed a bunch of flyers… fake propaganda, claiming the people of Snezhnaya are collectively demanding that Yuning Milk Tea apologize for 'plagiarizing' their national drink."
"Oh, and he bribed a sleazy magazine editor. Planning to run a hit piece in the next issue."
Xiangling frowned. "What do we do now, Xu Zheng?"
"Don't worry. We've got money."
When you've got a rich sugar mommy like Ningguang in your corner, why stress?
If throwing money doesn't solve the problem, it just means you're not throwing enough.
"Xiangling-jie, can you get Yanfei-jie over here? Ask her to help us start a new magazine."
"A magazine?" Xiangling's eyes lit up. "Wait, that's genius!"
"Yep. We're not bribing anyone. We're publishing our own. The Teyvat Food Gazette. Every issue, we feature gourmet dishes, cooking tips, and a peek into culinary culture across the nations."
Xiangling was practically drooling.
Food and journalism? Her two love languages.
Xu Zheng still had two daily missions left to complete.
He figured he'd knock them out in the afternoon.
Daily Mission 3: Talk to a "Snezhnayan" on the street.
Daily Mission 4: Prove the "Snezhnayan" isn't actually Snezhnayan.
To prep, Xu Zheng summoned Redface again. The guy had proven useful. After all, he'd revealed that Chayevich even kept treasure hoarders at his own place.
Unfortunately, Redface didn't have concrete proof that Chayevich was collaborating with the knock-off milk tea gang to hijack rice shipments.
Still, his info was valuable.
"Those Snezhnayans on the street—they're all actors Chayevich hired, right?" Xu Zheng asked.
"Yeah. He pays them stupid money. Ever since your coffin prank, it's been hard for him to recruit replacements."
"Good to know."
Xu Zheng wasn't sure yet what to do with Redface. He mostly trusted him—but total trust? Not happening.
If someone can betray their old boss, they can betray their new one too.
Putting Redface aside for now, Xu Zheng spotted a guy on the street dressed in full Snezhnaya cosplay.
Xu Zheng walked up and cheerily said,
"Wow-oh-Hahvah-Eh-Hongfen–go fetch!"
"...?"
The man blinked, visibly confused.
Xu Zheng had just insulted him in Snezhnaya dialect: "You idiot."
After chugging a language skill potion and binging some books on Snezhnayan customs, Xu Zheng could now sling dialect insults like a native.
He followed up with a few cultural trivia questions—and the guy fumbled every answer.
Daily Mission 3 Complete.
The guy couldn't even name the Archon of Snezhnaya.
Total fake.
Time to wrap up the last daily quest.
"You're not really from Snezhnaya, are you?"
The man flinched.
And in that moment, Xu Zheng could already hear the sound of twenty primogems dropping into his wallet.