Xu Zheng turned his head, heart skipping a beat.
Did she just say… "housewife kink"?
Oh hell. He felt it. That forbidden flutter in his chest.
Calm down. Stay strong. You are a man of principle…
He clenched his tiny fist. I didn't flinch. I resisted temptation. I have the ambition of a warlord!
And then, a familiar voice cut through the hormonal fog.
"Alright, alright, enough flirting. Xu Zheng only likes them big. Y'all better go bulk up."
The voice—sharp, smug, and unapologetic—belonged to one person.
Ying'er.
She'd arrived.
And like always, she drove straight into the chaos with zero brakes.
Xu Zheng twitched. Lady, you're driving way too fast.
Who said I only like big?! I'm an equal opportunity enthusiast!
Thick or slim, as long as the soul is spicy, I'm eating.
A few women caught on instantly and started giggling with not-so-innocent smiles.
The rest? Their friends whispered in their ears, and their cheeks turned scarlet.
Xu Zheng blinked rapidly at Xiangling, sending the universal distress signal: "Save me, please, for the love of Celestia."
But Xiangling was fully checked out.
She was still thinking about that dude who passed out and then came back from the dead after drinking her hell-brew.
Could it be… my chili milk tea actually works as medicine?!
Am I… a genius doctor?!
But then again… medicine can't save Liyue.
And her heart still burned for the culinary arts.
Xiangling spiraled into an existential crisis.
Meanwhile, Xu Zheng was drowning in estrogen.
Women swarmed him—pinching his cheeks, praising his flawless baby skin, and asking if he was open to an arranged marriage.
And then—
At the door of Wanmin Hall, a lone figure stood in silence.
A girl. Blue-haired. Slightly stunned. Her ahoge swayed with every confused thought.
Ganyu.
She had come to have lunch.
But instead, she found her precious little disciple being smothered by a hungry harem.
Beside her, Ying'er stifled a laugh.
"Lady Ganyu, if you don't step in now, your baby disciple's gonna get eaten alive."
Ding!
Ganyu's ahoge snapped straight up like someone flipped a switch.
Xu Zheng also heard her voice—that voice—and fought his way through the crowd like a soldier clawing out of enemy territory.
Ganyu rushed forward and scooped him up protectively.
The crowd immediately backed off.
Nobody dared mess with Ganyu. Not when she had that "civil servant mode" activated.
They all bowed respectfully, greeted her one by one, and scattered back to their tables.
Some brave foodies even walked up to Xiangling and asked for a cup of the infamous chili milk tea.
—
Elsewhere...
In the Yuheng office, Keqing frowned at a document in her hand.
It was an attendance log.
Nothing suspicious at first glance, except…
Ganyu had left Yuehai Pavilion this morning without notice.
Now, that wasn't technically against protocol—Ganyu had seniority. But still.
Keqing admired Ganyu deeply. The qilin worked tirelessly. Never slacked off. Was practically a saint of labor.
So what happened today?
Was she sick?
Keqing decided she'd stop by Wanmin Hall during lunch. Just to check in. For professional reasons. Obviously.
—
Back at Wanmin Hall…
Xu Zheng decided to check on the man who'd somehow survived Xiangling's murder milk tea.
But before he could reach the back kitchen—
WHAM!
A black-and-red blur burst out like a demon breaking loose.
Xu Zheng instinctively reached for his Cryo power, ready to freeze the bastard.
But then—
SPLAT!
The red-faced man dropped to his knees.
The entire hall froze.
Dead silence.
What the hell is going on?
A grown man, kneeling in front of a literal child? And not even for a red envelope?
The red-faced man lifted his head. Tears streamed from his eyes and out his nose.
"Thank you, benefactor! I have seen the light. I want to be a good man now."
Xu Zheng: "???"
The guy noticed Xu Zheng's confusion and began explaining, as if narrating a drama on stage:
"The moment I drank that spicy milk tea, my whole life flashed before my eyes—joy, sorrow, dreams, despair…"
"I realized I've done a lot of awful things. But today, something changed. I want to be worthy of the hope in my parents' eyes. I want to stop chasing easy money and start living with honor."
"Your milk tea… it saved my soul."
Xu Zheng's mouth twitched.
Buddy, are you sure it was the tea that saved you… and not the fact that you almost died?!
The dude had clearly been one sip away from needing funeral arrangements.
Now he was full-on confessing his sins like he was on death row.
He kept going, pouring out every crime he'd committed like a walking cautionary tale.
Nothing too extreme—he wasn't a serial killer—but let's just say… "scumbag" didn't quite cover it.
Xu Zheng tried to stay composed, but inside he was thinking:
Bro, did the tea burn your conscience clean or your brain?
The audience was once again floored.
Forget curing physical illness—Xu Zheng had just performed spiritual exorcism.
They started whispering.
"Maybe he's a divine healer."
"Maybe… he's an immortal in disguise?"
Some people actually ran home to drag their untalented daughters back, hoping to matchmake before the next miracle happened.
Even Ganyu felt it.
People were looking at her weirdly.
Usually they looked at her with respect.
But now?
It felt… different.
Like in-laws meeting the daughter-in-law for the first time.
Or worse—mothers scoping out their future rival.
The red-faced man finally came out of his repentance spiral and looked solemn.
"Benefactor… how do I start over? Please, guide me."
He asked it with reverence, like Xu Zheng was some ancient master.
Xu Zheng gave it a second and said:
"Step one: Stop kneeling. I'm too short to handle that much respect.
Step two: Clean up your mess.
Step three: Live like you mean it."
The man nodded deeply.
"I understand. I'll make amends."
He took a deep breath.
"Actually, I was hired today by Chayevich to sabotage Wanmin Hall. The plan was… after eating, I'd pretend to be poisoned and collapse. Fake a food poisoning scandal."
Xu Zheng nodded. As expected.
The crowd stopped chewing.
Because sure, you can eat anytime.
But hot gossip? That's limited-time only.
Everyone leaned in.
We live for this.
The man kept going:
"I had two teammates. They were supposed to stir up panic, blame Wanmin Hall, and say the food was dangerous."
Then he… pointed right at them in the crowd.
His teammates: Bro, what the hell?!
They froze.
They were mid-escape when this bastard decided to bring them down too.
You confess your sins—fine! But don't drag us down just because you saw the light!
Every eye turned.
The two men stood awkwardly in place, faces pale.
All eyes on them now.