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Dragon Man Fights for Elf Butt by Throwaway1971
Books » Private Rated: M, English, Romance & Humor, Words: 262k+, Favs: 40, Follows: 50, Published: Oct 9, 2023
2Chapter 6
"Behave yourself, or I will personally put you out of your misery Beastbaru." Ram is as mean as ever... Seriously 'Beastbaru'? What am I? A FGO villain?
In that case I'm definitely Kiara... "Got it Goddess Ram, mostly because you've already told me that a thousand times..." Right now Ram and I are on our way to Arlam village, the place where we shall meet my two next loli wives!
And speaking of loli's "Betty believes the maid should tell you a thousand times more I suppose!" She crosses her arms. "There is no man more thick headed than Betty's Subaru in fact." My cute girlfriend is following along in this journey.
She's a bit grumpy because I kept waking her up during the night. "Beako forgive me already..." I can't take this pain anymore!
She huffs. "Betty has already forgiven her contractor, but Betty is no fool, there's no way to deny you're a hopeless pervert in fact." At least she didn't call me Pervbaru.
The maid smirks. "Pervbaru." Ah! Stop Goddess Ram... Actually I don't mind it coming from her.
Still she might corrupt Beako, so I have to put a stop to her. "Ram, please don't call me such accursed words in front of my adorable girlfriend."
"Hah! What? Do you think you still have some face to save? Don't joke around Clownbaru."
That's not me, that's my boss. "That's not me, that's our boss." I have no filter.
She glares at me with the force of a thousand suns, with that much strength she might even defeat Reinhard. "Keep your mouth closed Corpsebaru."
I look at her with fake panic. "Hey! I'm not dead yet!"
She makes a smug face. "Indeed, even after your best efforts you can't die... Can't even succeed at that, can you Failurebaru." Yeah, even Reinhard would fall to this, so there's no way I can win.
Also where's my cute guardian angel to defend me! "Beako help!"
Beako nods. "Betty wasn't really paying attention, but she apologizes if her contractor has touched you inappropriately." She's definitely still mad!
"I'm sorry Beako!" I'll apologize as many times as it takes!
And then I'm going to grope her tonight again... Sorry Beako!
Beako ignores my apology. "Maid, how much time until we arrive I wonder? Betty is tired of walking I suppose." Oh, the the result of being a neet for four hundred years, impressive!
"Just a little bit more Beatrice-Sama." Why can't you give me that same respect Ram? What did I even do- Yeah, I'm the worst, I almost forgot that for a second.
Beako looks irritated. "You have been saying that for an hour I suppose!" Beako, we only been walking for an hour... Neet.
Still I do offer a helping hand. "Do you want to be carried Beako? The Subaru taxi is always free to you." It's also free to any other girl of course.
Beako looks at me and raises an eyebrow. "Will you grope Betty the entire way I wonder?" She didn't say anything about the taxi comment...
I smugly nod. "Probably." I know who I am.
She shakes her head. "Betty will walk I suppose!" I'm sorry Beako! Actually this might be good for you, get some exercise after four hundred years.
You will be needing some stamina for my future plans.
We walk for a little while more... And Beako breaks. "Maid, carry me I suppose." There is little hope on her voice.
"No." Ram denies her immediately, where did the respect from earlier go!?
Beako looks at me hesitantly and I speak up. "Fiiine, just for today this taxi is grope free."
She cheers and I pick her up giving her a piggyback ride. "Finally, Betty thought she was going to die in fact." She smiles. "Oh and if Betty feels any more pressure than necessary on her butt she will snap I suppose." Got it ma'am.
Damn it! I wanna squeeze her butt! I want to squeeze it so bad!
I'm using all my willpower not to, so you better be thankful I'm not molesting you in front of my co-worker Beako!
Wow, sometimes I surprise even myself...
Ram notices my face of effort. "Slimybaru make sure to stay close to me, I have to protect the children of the village if Beatrice-Sama alone is enough to test your will." Of course she is! She's a top tier loli damn it!
Beako sighs. "Don't worry, even Betty's Subaru is not low enough to target the village's children I suppose." No comment.
Sorry Beako, I won't give up on Petra and Meili, I have to complete the waifudex.
Beako notices my strange silence and gives another sign. "Really?... Fine I suppose..." Thank you for supporting me.
Ram however gives me a disgusted look. "Worse than a witch cultist, The-Worst-Human-Being-Imaginablebaru."
"Hey what's up with that nickname?! It was long as hell!"
Ram shrugs. "It wasn't long enough, for it did not do enough to portray how sad of a existence you are Subaru."
Hah? Wait... "You just called me by my name... Weird."
She nods. "Indeed, I simply realized that there is no greater insult than your very own name, be glad I tend to call you friendly nicknames instead." How are they friendly?!
"Wow, I'm at a loss for words..." I think I might genuinely die here.
"I see, your idiotic nature finally caught up to you and you have forgotten words, very well Subarubaru." That last one is definitely too far! Don't you dare call me a Subaru!
Ah... She got me.
But I can fight back! For I have the power of sexy mind control! "Fine Ram, from now on I will treasure your pet names." Take that! I can't lose!
She blushes, proving the inevitability of my conquest over this world. "Good, at least you have the quality of rolling with the punches, fitting for a man like you Dogbaru."
I nod, right now I'm invincible. "Yep, I just got shivers with that one."
"Masochistbaru." She spits out instinctually.
"Thank you for the blessing Goddess Ram." Fine, just for her I will achieve new levels of perversion.
Ram immediately tries to insult me, her greatest defense mechanism. "Scum, pervert, pathetic, worthless, Subaru."
I of course... "~Ah!" Loudly moan in response.
Ram has achieved the [Tomato State, today is a good day.
Before Ram can fire anything back, my passenger interjects. "Give up foolish maid, you will never defeat Betty's Subaru when it comes to perversion I suppose."
I nod. "Yeah, I alone stand above heaven and earth." A good time for this quote, truly.
Ram shakes her head. "I suppose I should be happy I can't rival Sc-Per-... Subaru in this area."
"R-Ram~!" I moan her name this time.
Her eyes widen. "I didn't even insult you this time Deafbaru!"
I shake my head in denial. "In the eyes of the divine Goddess Ram my name is an insult and therefore it is also pleasurable."
Ram thinks about saying something, but gives up.
Finally I win for once.
Beako sighs. "Finally, the maid learned her place I suppose."
Ram scoffs. "Hah! As if... I'm just thinking about how to crush him next." No name calling huh?
"Ram do not say you want to crush me, I'm tired of moaning." Step on me Goddess Ram.
She glares at me. "I was right about you Subarubaru, your only quality is your handsome face..."
"Hey I have plenty of qualities." I am the fusion of three people, I better have plenty of qualities.
She keeps glaring. "Name them Liarbaru."
I start. "I'm a master swordsm-" She puts her hand up to stop me.
"Name some that are not combat related Boneheadbaru." Oh.
Fine. "I can sew, I can cook, I can... Ugh... I'm very good in bed." Thank you [Sticky Fingers].
Ram nods to herself. "And inevitably you cycle back to perversion... How sad."
I smile. "Yeah, in the end you can't stop the cycle of life, only move to where it's taking you."
"Don't try to say something pseudo-philosophical to escape No-Brainsbaru." Ouch.
My guardian angel defends me. "Betty disagrees with the maid I suppose, her contractor is full of great qualities in fact!" I truly am a blessed loli haver.
Ram raises an eyebrow. "Qualities like?" Please don't comically stay silent Beako, my heart might break.
She begins listing them off. "Betty's contractor is kind, gentle, brave, smar-"
And Ram interrupts her. "You are the most biased woman I have ever seen Beatrice-Sama."
Beako shakes her head in anger. "You are nitpicking I suppose!" It's okay Beako, I appreciate the sentiment.
"Thanks Beako, I might have died to Ram if you didn't recharge my confidence batteries."
Ram scoffs. "Stop speaking nonsense, or should I begin calling you Insanebaru?"
I nod. "Honestly... Maybe..." I know who I am.
She smirks. "At least you're self-aware." She takes a look at me. "Well, hopefully you won't embarrass Lord Roswaal, right now you at least have the look of a worthy servant."
Oh right, Ros-Chi gave me the drip.
Let me elaborate on that... I am now wearing my work uniform! I got measured by my teacher this morning and they fixed up some clothes for me surprisingly quickly.
Sadly I looked less badass knight and more butler, apparently dressing as a knight is 'illegal', geez why can't I impersonate what is basically the military, this world is cruel...
It's like that everywhere?!
Anyways, at least I wanted a knight like cape... That too got denied, this world is mean, but I do have Roswaal's cool falcon symbol on my shoulder.
I'm also armed of course, my sword is resting at my hip.
Well I'll probably ruin whatever cool impression I give with Beako following me everywhere, at least to civilians of course, an actual fighter would take one look at my guardian angel and run screaming.
Hopefully one day I will be knighted and then I will finally be able to dress myself like a Fire Emblem character.
Wait I said I was Vollachian. Oops, now I'm only getting the knight title if I do some absurd shit like killing two great maebeasts and a arc-bishop of sin.
[Subaru Natsuki] is absurd.
That aside. "So Ram, what should I expect from Arlan?"
She looks at me. "It's just a normal village, no different from any other, and just like any other village the women are free to defend themselves from you." Please stop Goddess Ram.
I nod towards her. "Got it, normal village." I never actually went into one, since I'm new to this world, but whatever.
She smirks. "Remember to behave yourself Subarubaru, or I'll personally cut it off..."
I make an annoyed face. "You're telling me that again! You now told me that a thousand and one times!"
Beako interject. "And she should tell you a thousand and one times more I suppose!"
Ah! I'm looping! I haven't died, but I'm definitely looping!
And so I endured this looping hell until we get there, I now understand the Subaru experience...
"Big bro can I play with your sword!" No.
"Big bro can I see magic!" No. Maybe?
"Big bro can you dance!" Huh? What?
"Big bro have you ever killed, how did it feel?" No! Maybe Meili isn't the one I should be worrying about!
Ugh, right now I am being swarmed by kids... Not that I dislike them or anything, but even I can get overwhelmed.
"Well I guess I can show a little magic..." And the kids begin cheering, even Petra who's currently among them.
Meili is here too, but she's standing behind them... Makes sense, right now she's supposed to be the 'shy new kid' type.
Right, I ain't falling for your bullshit loli assassin, well mostly because I know how canon went, if I didn't I probably would have fallen for it.
Now what magic should I use? I need to get the kids trust so they show me their dog... Definitely not fire magic.
With my current control I could do any magic that was below saint rank chantless, not only that, but I could also ask for Beako to use some normal magic from this world.
I probably shouldn't do any advanced ranked magic right now though, it was a big waste of mana, and for all I know Capella could jump from the bushes transform me into a fish and then run away screaming 'it's just a prank bro'.
Of course 'mama' normally wouldn't be here, but Echidna changed from canon, maybe Capella who had a [Gospel] would too.
Hopefully that wouldn't happen, but I wouldn't stress to much about it either, or I might become too paranoid.
If I start thinking about Pandora jumping me with all of her buddies I might have a heart attack...
I start readying my mana, in one hand I use wind magic, on the other one I use water magic.
I fire both at the sky and I create a little rain.
"Oh, cool!" Thank you Kid A!
"Magic is the best!" Many thanks Kid B!
"Dancing would be cooler." Feel free to pursue your passions Kid C!
"Use fire next time! I want to see fire!" Okay who are the parents of Kid D?! He needs help!
I keep playing around with the kids some more, they're pretty easily entertained, probably because they lack actual good things in life like video games and porn... How sad.
Beako is also here by the way, but she has mostly stayed silent on the sidelines... That is until she noticed I kept glancing at Petra and Meili.
She chooses to approach Petra. "Child, tell Betty your name I suppose." Oi, could it be that my Beako is trying to make friends!? Cute! A neet leaving neet kingdom!
Petra hesitantly nods, she's not really shy, but Beako does look like a noble's daughter so she comes off as intimidating. "I-I'm Petra my lady..."
Beako nods, go Beako go! "I see I suppose, what do you seek in a man I wonder?" Huh? What?
Petra is as confused as me. "W-what do you mean my lady?" Please explain Beako!
Beako makes an annoyed face. "Betty means what she asked I suppose... What do you need to see someone as attractive I wonder?" Beako, I think I know what you're doing... Please stop!
Petra shyly responds. "S-someone nice I guess..."
And Beako scowls. "As if that's enough for a relationship to start I suppose... But you should know Betty's Subaru is nice in fact." Beako...
Why?!
Petra doesn't seem to understand what Beako is saying. "T-that's good?"
Beako nods. "Indeed, he's also a skilled fighter in both swordsmanship and magic, good qualities I suppose... Would you agree I wonder?"
Petra nods, though she's clearly still confused. "Yes, Lady 'Betty' those sound nice..."
Beako gets mad. "For you it's 'Beatrice' I suppose!" Beako you're gonna give her a heart attack.
Petra steps back. "I'm sorry..."
"You are forgiven I suppose... How much does your family make a year I wonder?"
"Eh?" I'm so sorry Petra.
Beako nods to herself. "Probably not much I suppose, I imagine their gains throughout an entire year would be only worth maybe one holy gold coin, if they are lucky I suppose." Beako, stop please.
I try to make my way to Beako to stop her from bullying Petra any longer, but I am currently busy with being swarmed by children.
Petra nods to Beako. "Yes my lady, things can get difficult sometimes..."
Beako smiles. "Then you are in luck, Betty's Subaru makes more than enough to support your family, become his and your family troubles are solved." I escaped the kids and made it, but it's far too late.
Beako why!?
Petra looks at Beako, she then slowly turns around and looks at me. "Ah, so this is what's happening right now..."
"I'm sorry Petra! Beako Apologize!"
Beako scowls. "Do not try to hide your perversion's Subaru, Betty knows you can't." Okay, I might have thought 'owning' Petra was hot, but it was a stray thought! so stop trying to make this weird arranged marriage!
Petra simply looks at the ground, she sounds defeated. "It's fine mister... Just please pay me before you do the deed." Huh?
"Eh? What?!"
"I asked that you pay me before defiling me, my lord." Petra what?!
"Petra I... I'm not going to defile you..." Right now...
Petra nods to herself. "It's fine, I know I can't deny a noble, but I ask that you pay me beforehand, mother told me that normally a noble leaves before doing so... So I'd like some guarantee..."
"Petra I'm not a noble... Also what is your mother teaching you!?" I'm worried for this village, first Kid D and now this?!
Petra begins explaining. "Well, mother told me that sometimes a noble man will come to a village and fill a young girl's head with promises of love and gold." She pauses for a moment. "He will then defile you and leave without a word, after that you will need to lay with your dumb and lame childhood friend and lie to him telling the child is his, else you will surely die raising a baby alone." Are you okay miss Leyte?! Who hurt you?!
"Petra that's..."
She bows. "This is why I would like to ask for the money first my lord, I don't want to marry my friends, so before you fill my belly with your seed please give me some gold."
I kneel. "Petra I'm sorry for Beako, I'm so sorry... And please tell your parents you love them when you get back home..." I'm sorry Miss Leyte and Mister Leyte, it must have been tough.
Petra still sounds like her life is over. "It's fine my lord... Though I at least would have liked to experience the romance part mother talked about..."
"Petra like I said, I'm not a lord and I'm not going to defile you..." Right at this moment...
Petra takes a look at me and after a few moments raises her hands up in victory. "Yay! I won't lose my maidenhood yet!" Please don't scream that Petra.
If Ram hears that while your close to me she will take my life.
Thankfully Ram left me unsupervised while she went around buying food.
A foolish mistake.
I nod. "Yeah, sorry about that Petra, Beako... Hasn't talked with someone for a long time so she's awkward around strangers..." I ignore Beako's objections in the background.
She's still has much to learn before she becomes a true harem builder...
Honestly if she wanted Petra to become mine by using money as bait she could have at least waited until I got my first paycheck, maybe then I could have gone for it.
I... I must repeat, I am the worst...
But, I will one day impregnate Petra, so I don't feel too bad about it, actually I feel rather good in fact.
Petra smiles. "It's fine mister, I forgive Lady Beatrice." Cute.
I pat Petra's head. "Good girl." No, I don't have a problem with using [Alluring Whisper] on a poor innocent young girl. "Also Beako isn't a noble, so drop the lady."
She nods. "Okay!" She's blushing, how cute, she doesn't even know this stranger is slowly doing something much worse than just sleeping with her and then dumping her the day after.
Sorry Miss Leyte, a monster much scarier than a noble has his eyes set on your daughter.
Don't blame me, blame Reinhard for not doing his job, if he found me and put me down already everything would be fine.
Wow! Horrible justifications for my acts! Truly the mark of a Re: Zero villain.
"Hey, b-big bro..." A voice comes from behind me.
I turn around, it's Meili, I guess she finally found the courage to (kill me) talk to me.
I give the girl a smile. "What's up?" She shows me the dog she's holding.
"W-we wanted to show him b-big bro..." Cute dog Meili, shame he's actually a gigantic monster that curses people.
Kid A nods. "Yep, he's the pride of our little group!"
Kid B continues. "He's suuuper cute, Meili takes care of him!"
And then enters Kid C. "Dogs can't dance." Being passionate is fine, but please turn it down.
Kid D finishes. "I wonder... What do you think a dog tastes like big bro?" Maybe I should arrest you together with Meili...
I look at the dog. "Oh how cute... Does Meili really take care of him?"
Kid A says "Yep, she's together with him all the time!" Wow, how convenient.
"Oh yeah?"
"Yep, she feeds him and is never separated from him." Responds Kid B.
I just repeat. "Oh yeah?"
"Yeah, she likes him as much as I like dancing." Thank you for the insight Kid C.
I repeat again. "Oh yeah?" Meili is sweating.
Kid D nods his head. "Yeah... I wonder how Meili tastes..." Please stop.
Still I don't to push her into retreating. "How cute, you're very mature Meili" I pat the dog's head.
And he bites my hand, sorry Meili you should have retreated, now there's no turning back. "Ouch, I guess he doesn't like me..."
The kids giggle a little and Meili says. "Sorry big bro, usually he doesn't do that..." Oh, you will be sorry alright.
"It's fine..." I mockingly put a hand to my head. "Just feeling a little bit.. Dizzy. Hey Beako, come over here!" Meili steps back.
Game over loli. "I'm coming I suppose."
The lolisassin asks. "W-why are you calling her big bro..."
I smugly grin. "Well, Beako may look like a normal little girl, but she's actually a great spirit." Meili's eyes widen.
She looks at me, and then at the approaching Beako... And tries to run for it, I snatch her before she can go. "H-hey big bro I need to go pee so let me go..." Shit excluse Meili, ain't flying.
Beako arrives scowling. "Subaru, Betty would very much like if you released the child in fact!" Geez, I guess I look like the suspicious one here...
Actually all the kids are silently staring at me so I explain the situation. "Beako check my body, specifically my hand, this girl is a shaman she just cursed me." Beako pales and checks me.
"I-it's true I suppose..." She turns to Meili angrily. "Y-you!" And readies her mana.
Meili is shaking at this point. "This isn't fair!" Sorry Meili, but it is what it is. "Screw it!" The dog in her hands starts growing rapidly.
Oh, she's trying to make a run for it and leave him as a distraction? Bad plan.
I cut the dog in half before he can fully transform, I was expecting it so I didn't hesitate to do it.
Sorry for the trauma kids!
Anyways I grab her. "Okay Beako, let's take her to Ram."
Beako however is still angry. "No, let's kill her I suppose!" All the kids are shaking, this isn't good.
I shake my head in denial. "Calm down Beako, she may be a shaman, but she's still just a kid." Why is Beako so angry in the first place?
Beako trembles a little bit and clenches her fists, she's looking at the ground. "B-but she tried taking Betty's Subaru away in fact." Oh, sorry Beako, I should have realized what your feelings were sooner...
"I'm fine Beako, actually if you want to you can undo the curse right now..." I would have preferred to keep it so I had proof for Ram, but it's fine.
Beako nods and 'unties' the curse from my body.
But I'm not just gonna leave the kids trembling in fear. "Hey kiddos, everything is fine..." I don't really know what to say besides that, how awkward.
The kids are still silent, but after a moment Petra raises her voice. "Mister you told me you weren't a noble who defiles young girls!"
My face twists in shock. "I'm not!" I'm not a noble and the only girl I defiled so far is four hundred years old so it's fine!
Petra crosses her arms. "Then let Meili go." Sorry Petra, but I can't, Meili is going to Roswaal's rape dungeon one way or another.
Meili too raises her voice. "Help! A weirdo is trying to kidnap me!" Goddamn It!
The commotion is heard and the first person to appear is Ram of all possible people. "Subarubaru, explain." She readies her wand.
I panic. "The girl is a shaman! A-and she had a maebeast and she tried to kill me!" I feel like a kid caught jerking off by his parents.
Ram raises an eyebrow. "Really?" At least she lowered her wand.
Betty rants. "Yes in fact! This pest tried to take Betty's Subaru away in fact!" Sorry Beako, I'm definitely going to hug you lots later.
Still it seems like Beako's passionate rant bought Ram's trust. "Very well, I'll believe Not-A-Pedo-But-Not-Because-He-Doesn't-Trybaru."
I glare at her. "Goddess Ram, please stop, next time you might write a whole book, also literally just look at the scene."
Ram does and she sees the every clear evidence... The dog's body, it didn't grow to it's truly giant size, but it's clear that it is a maebeast and not a dog.
Ram nods at me. "I suppose this time you are correct Normally-Incorrectbaru, let's take these kids back to their parents." She glares at Meili. "And then talk to hers." Wow, mad, but for real, Ram.
How rare! And hot!
Petra again speaks up. "M-Meili didn't do anything!" She wants to protect her assassin friend how Gon of her.
Sadly I have no intention of going into a hiatus. "Sorry Petra, but Meili did something really bad right now... We can't let it slide."
She looks crushed. "B-but..."
I give her smile. "Don't worry cutie, we won't hurt her at all, Lord Roswaal isn't the type to hurt children." He's actually the type that steals their bodies! Very cool of you great-great-great grandpa Roswaal.
Petra begins forming a smile. "O-ok..."
And Ram ruins the moment. "I won't forget you calling a child a 'cutie' Natsukibaru."
My face twists in shock. "Hey! Now you're trying to turn my surname into an insult too?!"
She shocks her head. "No, if your ancestors are anything like you then surely it was an insult long before today."
Hey don't insult Naoko and Kenichi! They are great parents who raised a wonderful son...
Sorry dad, sorry mom. Your son is now a multiversal slaver.
Sorry dad, sorry mom. But at least I'm not a neet anymore.
Sorry dad, sorry mom. But one day I will have enough power to crush Hitogami.
These were the thoughts of the [Original, [Subaru Natsuki] and [Orsted The Dragon God] respectively.
Ram scoffs. "I will take your silence as my victory Natsukibaru." I'm never telling her my other name, I don't need to hear Orstedbaru coming from her mouth.
"Yes Goddess Ram..." I never expected to win anyways.
She smirks. "Good." After a moment she continues. "Now let's move along and talk with the villagers, I also need to check the crystals here, if she's a maebeast user she may have messed with them."
Sorry Meili, but this is it, you're going down in a puff of smoke, not a bang.
Another good job for the heroic Subaru!
"Wipe that smirk off your face Creepbaru, it's making me shiver."
Hopefully in a good way!
"So how's my favorite little assassin doing?" I mean Meili of course, who's currently locked in Roswaal's dungeon, which is sadly not very well equipped to molest loli's.
"Eh, it's okay big bro, I do wish I had more freedom though~." Drama queen, this place was basically just a bedroom.
For a moment I did think Roswaal would jail her to the walls or some other incredible weird thing, but since she's a kid she got off pretty lightly.
She didn't really have any magic training or whatever so we just threw her into a cell.
We can't even torture her, unsurprisingly everyone in the manor refuses to torture a child... Actually it is surprising, because Roswaal lives here!
Speaking of them man, I asked to have this private little chat with Meili saying some shit about how maybe I could spill the beans.
Thankfully due to [Alluring Whisper] he let me be here and just told me something like 'I have full confidence in you Subaruuuuu-Kun', he shouldn't really, I have no idea how to make her talk right now...
I do have a solution of course, though it will take a few days...
I take the stamp I'm holding and I press to her neck. "Ew big bro... Is this something perverted?" She doesn't try to resist, probably cause she knows I could snap her neck easily.
I do keep my guard up of course, I know that for Meili murder had become a habit a long time ago.
Damn it Gluttonybaru is so cool... I wish I had white hair and a yandere scorpion.
Eventually the mark starts appearing on her neck. "Yep, it's something perverted alright." I don't even know how to feel about the fact that I will own this girl in three days.
Actually I do! I am very excited!
"Geez big bro has zero shame." She giggles a little. "I do like it~."
I nod. "Good, I feel like we are going to be best of friends soon." Also I'm going to put my cock inside of you.
She smirks. "You know who also wants to befriend you? Mama~" Now that peaks my interest instantly.
I raise an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"
She giggles. "It means it mama was the one who wanted you gone you know... Not the maid, not the margrave, not the elf... You~." Scary...
But also exciting. "Then she should come here and get me already, I hunger for oyakodon."
"What even is that big bro?"
Now it's my turn to giggle. "Something we will be doing one day!" Actually I wanted a foursome with her, her big sis and her mama.
Hot, that sounds way too hot.
The murderous loli is smiling. "Wow, foolishness really can pass as courage huh?"
I smile back. "No, I know you think that I am just being arrogant, but... The truth is that I own this 'mama'."
She looks surprised. "Huh? You don't even know her right?"
I shake my head. "Yep, I still own her though, and you, and everyone you know."
I point at myself. "This mansion, the maids, the margrave, the half-elf, the spirit, they don't know, but they're mine." I try to hold back laughter. "The ground, the sky, the people, the candidates, the pleiades watchtower, the kingdom, this very own world... It's mine, it just doesn't know that yet."
"The truth is that everybody you know and has ever known was made to please me or will be made to please me soon." I really should stop, but I'm a Re: Zero villain, might as well rant!
And I can't hold my laughter anymore. "Sorry, sorry, I guess this might be strange right? But humor me a little... I'm the strongest, or soon will be, even stronger than the sword saint, I don't need to be the wisest however, because you are all my property and I do whatever I want with you, even if one of you killed me it wouldn't mean anything, all you will do is make me angry." Thankfully that isn't enough to trigger Satella into action.
I might be going a bit far, but it feels nice to say it. "You think I am afraid? Who's afraid of their property? I own every single thing here... Your mama is just a dog trying and failing to bite the hand that feeds, I will discipline her soon!" I ended up shouting at the end, I get why arc-bishops do this, it's strangely cathartic.
Throughout all of this Meili stayed silent, but now with widen eyes she finally speaks. "Wow big bro, you really give off the same vibe as mama... Scary~" And she composes herself.
I nod apologetically. "Yeah, I won't say sorry though, because I believe what I said, still I'm not the type of kid who breaks his toys... So don't worry cutie." I use [Alluring Whisper] at the end, mostly to freak her out.
And I leave her cell and go meet Roswaal.
"Diiiid you get anything Subaruuuu-Kun?" The clown asks.
I smirk. "Nah, but she will crack soon, just give me a few more days." Three to be specific.
Today you made your first mark [Subaru Natsuki, no more turning back.
AN: Meili, Petra and Beako... Why is the loli ratio so damn high!?
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