Jade
"Damn!"
I slump into my chair, spilling my backpack on the floor.
I smile.
I want to curse again, but I'm so surprised I can't.
I passed the exam.
Really.
Me.
I mean, a blue-eyed American girl broke through the Korean defenses.
I burst out laughing hysterically.
The group of boys walking by glared at me, thinking I was crazy.
Who cares, damn it!
I passed the exam.
And the sunbaenim said it with a solemnity I wasn't expecting.
I'm not surprised they appreciated my skills. I know I'm good, because I studied dance hard, even at night, practicing up to 16 hours straight, but coming from workaholics like them... well, gentlemen, let me enjoy the moment! I sigh and stretch out my arms, then hug my shoulders and nod. I'm at the next audition.
"Yes, damn it!" I shout, standing up and doing a pirouette.
Some of the people in attendance smile, others cover their mouths, but they can think what they want, because it's incredible.
He wasn't the last celebrity in the Korean music world to check me out, no, no. Yoshi and Min-ho were there to give me their opinion.
Wow, they were beautiful!I wanted to run up to them, get down on my knees, and beg for an autograph, but I played tough, like a real street dancer, and disciplined myself.
I swear, I get goosebumps just thinking about it.I bite my nail cuticles and then immediately slap my fingers. I shouldn't do that, I'll end up ruining my hands, and here in Korea they're really obsessed with beauty and personal care. I feel super excited, hyperactive, and...
No,
I have to take my medication and get these symptoms under control, otherwise I won't be able to concentrate on the next rehearsal. I can't let the symptoms flare up while I'm dancing...
I look for the pills, pop them in my mouth, wash them down with a sip of water, and head for the exit.
"Hey, you, where do you think you're going?"
A boy runs toward me, waving a piece of paper.
"Excuse me?"
"Those selected go to the dormitory; you can't leave the studios," he says seriously, pointing in the opposite direction.
"But I..."
"Don't you understand Hangul? Should I translate into English?"
I already have a bad feeling about this guy.
"I speak perfectly," I reply, slinging my backpack over my shoulder. "But there's a small problem: I sent my suitcase to the hotel and I should go get it."
"Oh!" he replies, perplexed, shaking his head. "You'll have to talk to the director about this, because I can't let you out of here."
Huffing, I follow him down the corridor, muttering to myself.
"Why didn't they put this on the bulletin board? What a shitty organization!"
A soft chuckle behind me makes me turn and find myself facing Min-ho, who's sipping a drink.
Wow, he's so handsome with that blond hair!I blush at the thought and bow my head in greeting.
"Apparently they didn't put much on the bulletin board," he says, smiling.
"Um... yeah."
The boy who was accompanying me continues without looking back, and we're left alone in this empty corridor.
I feel uneasy, because right now I'm only aware of his presence.
"Why?" I ask him softly.
I'm surprised by the question too.What the hell does "why" mean?
"You're good, Taylor Jade, and you know it. And if I can give you one piece of advice, use your full potential, because the competition in the next exam will be fierce. Be original, innovative, and explosive. Show your determination and use your Korean name. Use all your cards to outperform the other contestants, because this show will be a bloodbath, and not everyone has the tenacity to get there."
He grimaces, his smile murderous. He's only a few years older than me, but he has a devastating aura.
"I don't know why you want to attend this Academy, I don't know your plans, but I see the fire burning inside you. I know because I've lived it. Let it blaze, and nothing can stop you."
His words are balm on my wounds, on my insecurity, and on that desire for redemption that threatens to destroy me. They are caresses not received and love not given.
No one has ever encouraged me like this, and it moves me. A traitorous tear runs down my cheek, and I quickly wipe it away and nod.
"I will, sunbae."
I bow and he nods.
And then it happens.
I don't know how, but my legs move on their own, and I take a few steps toward him and hug him, taking refuge in his chest.
I feel him stiffen, his arms outstretched, breathless.
What the hell am I doing? As if I didn't know Koreans don't like being touched like this by a stranger?
This isn't the United States!I suddenly let go of him, step back, apologize a thousand times, and cover my face with my hand.
But I know I was sincere, and I want him to know it. I want him to understand that I don't want to use him because he's a recruiter, but because he truly encouraged me.
"Kamsahamnida," I say, looking him in the eye. "I won't forget this."
I turn and start running down the corridor, my heart pounding.