Being born is weird enough when you're a human baby who doesn't remember the process. Being reborn as a slime while retaining all your memories of your previous life? That's a whole different level of "what the hell is happening to me."
The first thing I noticed was that I didn't have eyes, but I could somehow see everything around me in perfect 360-degree vision. It was like having a built-in security camera system, except the cameras were made of jelly and the security room was my entire body.
The second thing I noticed was the noise.
"KILL THE SLIMY BASTARDS!"
"FOR THE GOBLIN KING!"
"WHY WON'T THEY JUST DIE?!"
I'd apparently been reborn right in the middle of what could only be described as the world's most chaotic food fight, except instead of food, everyone was throwing sharp pointy objects, and instead of fun, there was a lot of screaming and what I was pretty sure was actual dying.
Around me, dozens of slimes were engaged in combat with an army of goblins. And when I say "engaged in combat," I mean the slimes were absolutely demolishing these poor green guys in ways that would make a horror movie director weep tears of joy.
I watched in fascination as a slime about the size of a basketball absorbed a goblin's sword mid-swing, then immediately reformed the metal into spikes and launched them back at three other goblins with lethal precision. Another slime had apparently eaten a goblin mage whole and was now casting fireballs with the casual ease of someone flipping light switches.
"Okay," I said to myself, my voice sounding like someone talking through a bowl of jello, "this is definitely not what I expected from slime life."
That's when my system decided to make its grand entrance.
[SYSTEM INITIALIZATION COMPLETE]
[WELCOME, SLIME PROGENITOR ALEX CHEN]
[BEGINNING TUTORIAL SEQUENCE...]
Blue text appeared directly in my field of vision, like the world's most advanced heads-up display. It was exactly like the RPG systems I'd read about in web novels, except this one was apparently real and belonged to me.
[STATUS WINDOW OPENED]
[NAME: Alex Chen]
[SPECIES: Primordial Slime (Unique)]
[TITLE: Slime Progenitor]
[POWER LEVEL: God Tier (Dormant)]
[BLOODLINE: Mythical]
[ABILITIES: Analyzing...]
"Well, that's convenient," I muttered, dodging what looked like a goblin spear that passed harmlessly through my gelatinous body. "Though I have to say, 'God Tier Dormant' sounds like my college GPA—impressive on paper, useless in practice."
The system apparently had a sense of humor, because the next message made me do a double-take.
[ABILITY ANALYSIS COMPLETE]
[DISPLAYING SPECIES ABILITIES...]
[SPELL MIMICRY: Copy and store any magic spell, fighting technique, or movement pattern observed]
[ABSORPTION: Consume other species to gain their power, memories, and racial abilities]
[PERFECT SHAPESHIFTING: Transform into any absorbed species with full access to their capabilities]
[DIMENSIONAL STORAGE: Store unlimited items in pocket dimension accessible through body]
[ACCELERATED REGENERATION: Heal from any injury that doesn't destroy core]
[ASEXUAL REPRODUCTION: Create slime offspring through division]
[HIVE MIND ACCESS: Connect to the collective consciousness of all slimes]
I stared at the list for a long moment. Then I stared at it some more. Then I did what any reasonable person would do when presented with evidence that they'd become a living cheat code.
"Holy crap, I'm overpowered."
A goblin chose that moment to try stabbing me with a rusty dagger. The blade passed through my body like I was made of water, and I instinctively reached out and absorbed the weapon. Information flooded my mind—how to hold it, how to thrust, how to parry. Within seconds, I'd learned everything that goblin knew about knife fighting.
"Okay, that's terrifying and awesome in equal measure," I said, reforming the dagger and experimentally swinging it around. My new body moved with perfect precision, muscle memory that wasn't mine guiding every motion.
But the real revelation came when I decided to test the hive mind ability.
[ACTIVATING HIVE MIND CONNECTION...]
[WARNING: MASSIVE DATA INFLUX DETECTED]
[RECOMMEND GRADUAL INTEGRATION]
"Gradual integration sounds boring," I said. "Hit me with everything."
That was a mistake.
Suddenly, my consciousness exploded outward like someone had connected my brain to the internet and set the download speed to "ludicrous." I was experiencing the memories, thoughts, and sensations of over a million slimes simultaneously.
I was fighting goblins in twelve different locations. I was exploring underground caves filled with crystal formations that hummed with magical energy. I was absorbing a bear-like creature in the northern forests while simultaneously learning water magic from a captured mermaid in the southern seas. I was everywhere and everything, a living network of consciousness that spanned continents.
"Oh god," I gasped, trying to process the overwhelming flood of information. "This is like having a million browser tabs open in my brain, except all the tabs are playing videos and half of them are arguing with each other."
Gradually, I learned to filter the connections, focusing on individual streams of consciousness while letting the rest fade into background noise. It was like learning to use a muscle I'd never known I had.
And that's when the truly crazy idea hit me.
"System," I said, watching a nearby slime perfectly mimic a goblin's fighting stance after absorbing its memories, "if the hive mind can process and store unlimited information, and slimes can shapeshift into any form..."
[QUERY RECOGNIZED. ELABORATING...]
[HIVE MIND CAPABILITIES: Unlimited data storage, infinite computational power, real-time information sharing across all connected units]
[SHAPESHIFTING APPLICATIONS: Can create any desired form, including technological devices, provided sufficient understanding of function and structure]
I felt what I could only describe as a slime grin spreading across my non-existent face. "We're not just slimes. We're a living, breathing internet with the ability to create our own hardware."
The battle around me was winding down, with the slimes having thoroughly dominated their goblin opponents. Most of the green-skinned warriors were either absorbed, fleeing, or trying to surrender to beings they couldn't possibly understand.
"Alright, my gelatinous friends," I said, broadcasting my thoughts to the local slimes through the hive mind, "I think it's time we had a little chat about the future of slime-kind. And trust me, it's going to be way more interesting than just eating goblins."
A dozen slimes turned toward me with what I interpreted as curiosity. Through the hive mind, I could feel their confusion, their excitement, and their instinctive recognition of what I was.
Their Progenitor. Their potential god. And apparently, their new CEO.
"Welcome to SlimeTech, everyone," I announced. "We're about to revolutionize this world."