The Road to Darkness
6:30 AM, at the assembly point before the monster hunting expedition
Carsel stood alone in the gathering area with equipment far different from the other students. While others wore quality armor and carried proper weapons, he was only given a worn leather vest and a dull training sword.
"Ah, our expendable scout has arrived," Prince Aldric said with a smile that never left his face when he saw Carsel. "Perfect timing."
Princess Seraphina approached, carrying a small bag containing special equipment. "This is a magical beacon," she said, handing him a small red crystal. "When you encounter a monster, activate this to signal their location to us. We will... consider coming to help."
Consider, Carsel thought with growing bitterness. They're not even committing to saving me if there's danger.
"And this," Prince Aldric added, handing him a rough rope, "is for tying yourself to a tree if you need to attract monster attention. Sometimes the best bait is the one that can't run."
Carsel accepted the equipment with trembling hands—not from fear, but from the anger that was burning hotter in his chest.
They treat me like a disposable tool, he thought. Like I have no value other than as monster food.
The Expedition Begins
The expedition group consisted of thirty students divided into several teams. Carsel, of course, was assigned alone as the "advance reconnaissance unit"—a euphemism for "go ahead and get eaten first."
As they entered Thornwood Forest, Carsel was forced to walk 50 meters ahead of the main group. Far enough not to be able to get help quickly, but close enough to signal if there was a monster.
This is insane, he thought as he stepped carefully through the thick underbrush. They're literally using me as human bait.
But then, a darker thought began creeping into his mind.
But why should I care about their safety? They don't care about mine. If I encounter a dangerous monster, why should I warn them? Let them face danger for once.
The thought surprised him with its intensity. Before, even in his worst moments, he always tried to protect others. Now...
Maybe it's time I started thinking about myself.
First Monster Encounter
Two hours into the expedition, Carsel heard rustling in the bushes ahead. Heart racing, he peered through the foliage and saw a pack of three dire wolves—Tier D monsters that were definitely dangerous for a solo junior student.
The protocol was to immediately activate the beacon and retreat. But as he held the crystal, a dark thought whispered in his ear.
They want me to face danger alone? Fine. But they don't deserve an immediate warning.
Instead of activating the beacon immediately, Carsel decided to observe the wolves longer, gathering information that could be useful for... later purposes.
The wolves looked hungry and aggressive. They were positioned near a narrow ravine where the group would have to pass. A perfect ambush spot.
If I don't warn them until the last minute, Carsel thought with growing excitement, maybe some of them will get hurt. Maybe they'll understand how it feels to face real danger.
He waited until he could hear voices from the main group getting closer, then finally activated the beacon—much later than he should have.
Consequences
"Why did you wait so long to signal?!" Prince Aldric snapped when the rescue team arrived to deal with the wolves. "We could have been better prepared!"
"I was... gathering intelligence," Carsel replied with feigned innocence. "I wanted to make sure I had accurate information."
Princess Seraphina looked at him suspiciously. "Intelligence gathering wasn't your assignment. Your job was immediate warning."
"Maybe," Carsel said with a slight edge in his voice, "my job description should be clearer. After all, I'm just 'expendable reconnaissance,' right?"
An uncomfortable silence fell over the group. For the first time, Carsel had talked back with something resembling defiance.
Prince Lucian, who until now had been relatively quiet, stepped forward. "Attitude problems, Nightshade? Maybe we need to... adjust your responsibilities to make them more... motivating."
Let them try, Carsel thought with dark satisfaction. I'm already at the bottom. What more could they do to me?
Internal Monologue of Self-Pity
As the day continued with a series of monster encounters and constant harassment from the royal supervisors, Carsel's internal monologue became increasingly toxic.
Look at them, he thought, watching other students laugh and enjoy the expedition. They get to have fun, to feel safe, to be treated as human beings. While I... I'm treated worse than animals.
They don't understand what real suffering is. They've never had to scrub toilets at 4 AM. They've never been called a murderer by the entire school. They've never had to face monsters alone while others watch safely from a distance.
I'm probably suffering more than anyone else in the entire world. No one has it worse than me.
The thought felt comforting in a twisted way. He began building a narrative in his mind where he was the ultimate victim, someone who had suffered more injustice than anyone in history.
Even slaves have each other for support. Even prisoners get basic human dignity. But me? I'm completely alone, facing horrors that no one else could survive.
Growing Resentment
During lunch break, Carsel sat apart from others, eating stale bread and bitter thoughts. He watched other students sharing food, laughing, creating memories that would last a lifetime.
They're happy, he realized with growing anger. They're actually enjoying themselves while forcing me into danger. How is that fair?
I risk my life for their entertainment, and they can't even share decent food with me? They treat me like I'm less than human.
He glanced at the royal students eating gourmet packed lunches with silverware. Their laughter felt like mockery.
Look at them. Born into luxury, given everything without working for it. They never had to earn respect or fight for survival. And they have the audacity to judge me for one mistake?
One mistake that I made while trying to save people! And this is how the world repays good intentions?
Dark Fantasies Emerge
As the afternoon wore on and the harassment continued, Carsel began having fantasies that would have horrified his younger self.
What would happen if I just... didn't warn them about the next monster? What if I let the dire wolf pack ambush them? Maybe then they'd understand what real fear feels like.
Or better yet, what if I could somehow control monsters? Make them attack specifically those who've hurt me most? Justice would finally be served.
They want to treat me like a monster? Maybe I should become one. Maybe that's the only way to get respect in this world.
The fantasies became more elaborate and disturbing as the day progressed. Visions of revenge, of power, of making everyone who had wronged him suffer the way he had suffered.
I bet no one in the entire world has had a harder life than mine. Even street orphans have freedom. Even beggars get sympathy from strangers. But me? Everyone hates me for trying to do the right thing.
Evening Reflection
That night, back at the academy after a successful (for others) expedition, Carsel lay in bed with his mind racing with dark thoughts.
This is my life. Every day, humiliation and danger. Every person I meet treats me like garbage. And for what? Because I made one mistake while trying to help people?
If this is how the world treats heroes, maybe the world doesn't deserve heroes. Maybe it deserves to burn.
The thought should have alarmed him. Six months ago, it would have. But now, it felt... logical. Reasonable, even.
I've tried being good. I've tried helping people. I've tried following rules and accepting punishment. And where has it gotten me? More suffering, more humiliation, more danger.
Maybe it's time to try a different approach. Maybe kindness is for fools, and real power comes from taking what you want instead of hoping others will give it to you.
Maybe the world would be a better place if someone burned it down and built something new. Something fair. Something where people like me don't get punished for trying to do the right thing.
The Corruption Spreads
In the weeks following the expedition, a pattern became clear. Every humiliation, every danger, every moment of isolation fed the dark thoughts that were growing in Carsel's mind.
He stopped trying to connect with other students. Why bother? They'd just reject him anyway.
He stopped caring about academic performance. What was the point of learning if knowledge would just be used against him?
He stopped feeling guilty about the three children who died. Why should he carry guilt for an accident when no one cared about HIS suffering?
Most dangerously, he stopped seeing other people as fully human. They became categories: threats, obstacles, tools, enemies. People who deserved whatever happened to them because they had failed to show him basic compassion.
I'm not evil, he told himself. I'm just being realistic. The world showed me its true face, and I'm responding accordingly.
If they want a monster, I'll give them a monster. If they want a villain, I'll become the best villain they've ever seen.
And when I finally have the power to make them pay for everything they've done to me... I won't hesitate to use it.
The Point of No Return Approaches
As months passed and Carsel approached his tenth birthday, the changes in his personality became more pronounced. Teachers noted increasing coldness, detachment, and what they described as a "concerning lack of empathy."
But they attributed it to "natural consequences of his actions" and "an appropriate response for someone learning from mistakes."
They didn't realize they were watching the birth of a future destroyer of worlds.
What they didn't understand was that systematic cruelty, when applied for long enough, doesn't create humility or redemption. It creates monsters who genuinely believe their monstrous actions are justified.
Everyone thinks I'm a villain already, Carsel thought with dark satisfaction. Maybe I should stop disappointing them.
Maybe it's time to start living up to their expectations.
And when that day comes, they'll discover that the monsters they created are far worse than anything they imagined.
In the shadows, the mysterious organization member smiled with complete satisfaction. The target was developing exactly as planned. Soon, he would be ready to accept the power that would complete his transformation.
To be continued...