My resolve to protect the Tea Party with my own two hands. It has a nice ring to it. To be more precise, I vowed to protect the other two heads of the Tea Party, excluding myself, but isn't that the same thing? In Blue Archive, the identity of the Tea Party is its three student presidents.
But you know. Why am I, who has embraced such a noble resolution, currently lying on a plush sofa, tied up tightly with rope?
"Mmph, mmph...!!!"
And to top it all off, with a giant roll cake stuffed in my mouth.
"In truth, it was always difficult to see Mika as a good fit for the Host position. It was a role she was forced to take due to the Tea Party's tradition of rotating the position among the three factions. But that is a slightly different matter from being completely unable to perform the Host's duties..."
I can kind of understand that. The real Mika does give off the impression that she'd ditch her Host duties to go play...
"Nagisa, my dear. I did not take you for such a cold-hearted person, to speak so bluntly about your girlfriend right next to her. I am a little surprised."
"Seia-san, there was no need to so actively declare your solidarity with Mika-san."
"...Mmm. You are particularly prickly today. But does that not only work when I am willing to take it, much like Mika?"
"If that is the case, then I have no choice. Mika-san, I will untie you for a moment, so could you please restrain Seia-san?"
"...Wait a moment, that is a foul. Do we not still have much to discuss? Nagisa, I apologize for my previous jest."
...Are you serious? Not even "I'll untie you," but "I'll untie you for a moment." Nagisa, isn't this a bit much? And this roll cake is too big, it hurts. I seriously think my jaw is going to dislocate.
"Mmph!!"
"Hmm."
The moment our eyes met, I looked up at Nagisa with the most pitiful expression I could muster. She seemed to be seriously considering untying me for a moment, then, with a soft smile, she turned her head away.
"You are right. For both of you to be tied up and unable to speak... it would be a scene ripe for misunderstanding. I shall let it slide just this once, Seia-san."
...Betrayal. This is betrayal, Nagisa! We're comrades who slept in the same bed, our wings touching! Are you abandoning me, bewitched by that fox-eared girl? Is that it?
I try to get rid of the roll cake somehow, but it's not easy. I have to either eat it or spit it out, but my jaw won't listen to me either way, so there's no solution... I let it happen once, but this is an experience I don't want to repeat.
Nagisa, you terrifying child. To think you've been tormenting Mika with things like this. The Mika who, without yielding to such tyranny, continued to play pranks on her must be a true martyr of our time. Even if that's not the case, it's clear she cherished Nagisa a great deal.
Honestly, the only real social butterfly in the Tea Party is Mika. Nagisa is the type to draw her own lines, so she doesn't have any real friends besides Hifumi and the Tea Party. And Seia, well, listening to her talk, it's no wonder she doesn't have friends. Mika even used that to properly get under her skin once.
In that sense, it shows that Mika, who got along so well with Nagisa, treasured this relationship immensely. My girl's rock bottom may have broken through the floor when she hit her lowest point, but her fundamental nature is that of a normal, kind kid. She caused a lot of trouble, but that's just how it is.
"The Host's duties must be handled by the Host herself, so our top priority is to assist Mika as much as possible and help her adapt to the work. The key is how quickly Mika can adjust to her duties, but..."
Seia's somewhat languid eyes turned towards me. She stared at me for a while without a word, then suddenly shook her head. A fire raged within me. Seia, I can break free of these ropes on my own, you know? Are you, knowing that, trying to provoke me right now?
"No, that is not so important. I am sure Mika will feel something as she watches us struggle by her side. If she feels nothing even after seeing us work ourselves to the bone to help with her duties... fufu."
Wait a minute, Seia. I'm starting to get a little scared. Why are you laughing so ominously?
"I do not think you need to worry so much, Seia-san. The Mika of now... how should I put it... for some reason, I have faith in her."
"If you say so, Nagisa, then I shall have some expectations as well. And about Mika's amnesia. We must not reveal this fact to anyone, and Mika must not let anyone other than us find out. If it were simply that Mika, the head of Pater and a member of the Tea Party, is suffering from partial amnesia, it would not be a huge problem. But the Host of the Tea Party is a completely different case."
She was right. If I showed such a weakness in Trinity, it wouldn't be strange to get torn apart at any moment. And it wouldn't be just one or two people, but a whole pack of hyenas.
If something like amnesia happened while I was Host, pressure would immediately come from the Sanctus and Filius factions. That, at least, would only mean the Host position would be passed on a little earlier, so it wouldn't be a huge problem.
The real problem would arise from outside the Tea Party.
When exactly did the Tea Party Host lose her memory?
Had she been suffering from mental problems even before that?
Were there any negative effects on the orders and decisions passed down from the Tea Party during that time?
Did anyone within the Tea Party exploit the Host's amnesia for their own gain?
There were too many potential problems, and for that reason, it absolutely could not happen. It wouldn't just end with me losing my position; it could lead to the Tea Party's authority being diminished, and Seia and Nagisa could get caught up in unnecessary gossip. The potential for it to blow up into a massive scandal was far too great.
It would be better if the amnesia were revealed after my term as Host ended, but a similar aftermath would still be waiting.
The Pater faction has certain expectations of me, and since my combat ability hasn't changed much, there's a high chance they won't cast me out, but I can't be certain. The moment I lose my position in the Tea Party, I, who needs to prepare for the future, would also lose far too much. Even though the reality is just an excuse I made up, the matter of this amnesia must never be revealed.
"Therefore, Mika, I apologize for what I am about to say. But you cannot expect help from anyone but us in regaining your memory. This is for my sake and Nagisa's, but it is also for your own, so please forgive me."
I don't even know if we could actually solve the amnesia by getting help from the outside, but I can understand why Seia is apologizing to me. She must be bothered by the fact that her friend is clearly not in a normal state, yet she can do little to help resolve it.
But Seia, I can't answer you yet because of the roll cake, okay? So could you please not look at me with those expectant eyes?
"Seia-san, Mika cannot answer right now."
"Ah, I am well aware of that. I was just marveling at how that fits into her small mouth, and how she is managing to eat it. There is no need to mind me."
...If she's that curious, maybe Seia should experience it once too? Should I feed her one?
Please, restrain yourself, my inner Nagisa.
"By the way, what was that picture from yesterday? I was surprised enough to see Mika cooking, but to think she did it while having lost her memory."
"I do not know. I also thought Mika and cooking were worlds apart. I am guessing she must have had some experience we did not know about for it to be possible."
No, you took a picture of that and sent it to Seia? What about my portrait rights...? Ah, does that kind of thing not exist in Kivotos?
"Hrm... so she can still flawlessly replicate things her body remembers."
"That is a plausible hypothesis. I will take Mika-san to the firing range and test it out. I was planning on taking her anyway, and if that hypothesis is true, it will save me the trouble of teaching her."
No, that's a completely different thing from muscle memory. The only reason I could cook was because I, not Mika, had some experience making simple meals... I have zero confidence in my shooting skills.
"Ah. And there is one more important issue."
"What is it this time? It seems the problems are endless. Are we truly going to be alright?"
"Mika-san's grades. They were originally on the comfortable side, but I do not know if she will be alright in her current state."
"Mmm... this is a bigger problem than I thought. If we are not careful, we might see the first case in Tea Party history where a leader, and the Host at that, is forcibly expelled for poor academic performance. If something like that were to actually happen, it would probably be recorded in the textbooks."
"The thought alone is horrifying. Mika-san, it seems you will have to work very hard..."
No, fuck, wait a minute. Guys, stop joking around, it's not funny. If I get immortalized in a textbook for a reason like that, how am I supposed to live with the shame?
You're kidding, right? This isn't happening. This can't be happening!!!
"The exams are in a month, no, a little over three weeks. This is an emergency. Failure is not an option. Therefore, Mika, you will now say, 'I'm dead.'"
"I will help as much as I can... but this is entirely up to you, Mika-san. So you must pass. If you fail, I will first dispose of the test paper with my own hands and then send you on your way peacefully, so do not worry. It is better than having you in the textbooks for such an unfortunate incident."
No, why do you get to decide that on your own? There's a saying that it's better to roll in a dog turd than to die. I'm the type who'd rather live on my knees than die on my feet...
At this point, there's only one way.
It's not an easy decision, but I am prepared. I've finally managed to finish the roll cake that was stuffed in my mouth. I feel like I'm going to choke to death, but that too is a minor detail.
This twisted academy, which obsesses over exam scores in a world where students shoot each other with guns, must be destroyed.
Therefore, I will become Misono Mika of Gehenna and crush Trinity.
This is the conclusion I have reached after a long second of deep deliberation.
For some reason, I feel like I'm hearing a phantom voice saying, "Ahaha! What is this, it's so fun☆". It's probably just my imagination, right?