Greetings, everyone. Zevion here.
Ever been shoved into one of those ridiculous, dignity-shattering situations where you ask yourself: How the hell did I end up here?
Not the "missed the bus" kind.
No, I mean the full-blown sitcom nightmare kind.
Like: one gorgeous girl hugging you on one side, another rushing in from the other side because she got jealous, and suddenly you're a human sandwich with two very soft slices.
No?
…Umm, I am genuinely sorry about that...
Because right now, I'm in my living room, pinned like a bug on a display board.
Rias has claimed my left arm.
Asia has latched onto my right.
Both of them cling like sleepy but stubborn koalas.
My ribs ache, but still the soft sensations are happy-happy for me.
My circulation may be gone.
My face is buried in a confusing mix of perfume and shampoo.
And across from me?
Sona.
Standing there, arms folded, glasses gleaming, gaze sharper than a guillotine.
The "explain yourself or I will draft your obituary" look.
So… how did this happen?
Short version: I did something dramatic.
The underworld's gossip machine went kaboom.
Now I'm simultaneously a terrifying public menace and a cuddly body pillow.
Long version?
That's classified until I figure out how to spin it without sounding like an idiot.
Because Sona's voice just snapped through the air like a whip.
"You. Did. WHAT?"
Her bracelets chimed faintly as she crossed her arms tighter.
Each syllable hit like a hammer.
"Because of your little performance," she continued, eyes narrowing, "the broadcast regulation board revoked my channel's live-streaming rights. Suspended for one month. They cited—quote—' supernatural public safety protocols.'"
Silence.
Heavy, suffocating.
Rias tightened her grip on my arm until I felt my bones creak.
Asia pressed even closer, as if proximity alone could shield me from execution.
Koneko, sitting at the far end of the couch, looked at me like I'd just set the kitchen on fire for the third time this week.
Akeno… smiled.
That dangerous, honey-sweet smile that said: This will be entertaining.
I forced a fake calm smile, but my face felt like someone had melted it and glued it back together wrong.
"Sona, I'm… sorry? I didn't plan to cause inter-realm panic. It just… happened?"
Her eyes sharpened to icy blades.
"'Happened'?"
Her tone could have frozen lava.
"Zevion, you unleashed a torturer persona live on broadcast. That isn't something that 'just happens.' The Phenex family is already demanding reparations. The House Council is demanding a full explanation. And you—" she jabbed a finger at me "—will compensate for my loss."
Compensation.
My brain translated that instantly: money.
Money, the thing I could've just asked for instead of maids in the first place.
My inner wallet screamed like a dying banshee.
I tried for diplomacy.
"I—I'll draft something! Compensation, explanation, whatever you need. Just… no guillotine, please?"
Rias's thumb rubbed circles on my knuckles, grounding me.
Her voice, calm but firm, whispered near my ear.
"Zevion. Cooperate. We'll handle this together."
I swallowed, my pride dissolving into mush.
"Yes, ma'am. Drafting. Now."
Sona's gaze didn't soften—her expressions never really did—but a tiny exhale left her lips.
Calculation, not mercy.
"Do not make me regret choosing you as an exception. Fix this."
The room seemed to exhale with her, tension loosening by a hair.
Not solved—just delayed.
My brain scrambled for levity.
Worst-case scenario, I slide her a bag of cash and go back to grinding for Arceus.
Simple.
Efficient.
Not nearly as entertaining.
Not something I will want.
Akeno leaned forward, her grin dripping mischief.
Oh, come now, Zevion. Where's the fun in being responsible?"
Koneko's deadpan look added fuel to the fire.
"Try not to ruin everything again."
I wanted to protest.
I really did.
Instead, I nodded like a condemned prisoner.
"Okay. Fine. I'll do it."
I mean, even if she is demanding me.
It's mostly not serious.
It's just that she saw me torturing others and now wants me to never do it again.
Punishment like this was meant to make me control myself a bit.
Though she is really nice to me.
I mean, I am a guy who literally went crazy and acted like a terrorist, but she is still with me, not getting scared of me because of that.
So, I can't really resist.
I also love all of them, and that's the reason I went crazy in the first place.
That's when the world decided the situation wasn't ridiculous enough.
The air changed.
Thickened. Shivered.
A massive magic circle bloomed in midair, runes spinning in concentric rings of icy blue and crystalline pink.
Power surged outward like a heartbeat amplified to seismic levels.
The temperature plummeted.
Frost erupted across the floorboards in jagged patterns, crawling up the furniture, biting into the air.
My breath fogged instantly, my skin prickling with cold.
The magic circle pulsed, runes accelerating until they blurred into pure light.
And then—
BOOM.
A column of radiance detonated upward, bursting into cascades of snow, pink heart-shaped sparkles, and shards of crystalline magic.
The impact rattled the windows, sent loose papers flying, and shoved the weaker onlookers two steps back (that's me).
Out of that light stepped… her.
A figure in lace, ribbons, and frills, pink glitter trailing every movement.
Her black hair shimmered as if kissed by moonlight, each strand weightless in an unseen breeze.
Her eyes sparkled with both mischief and majesty.
Her wand gleamed as she struck a dramatic pose.
"☆ Magical Girl Levi-tan has arrived!"
The frost coating the ground shattered into a hearty sparkling aura(?) whirling upward in a celebratory dance.
Despite the cheerful idol-like proclamation, the aura rolling off her was suffocating—raw, overwhelming power that pressed on my lungs like a mountain.
Leviathan Maou.
The strongest devil of the seas.
Sona's big sister.
The kind of being who could level nations—currently dressed like she'd just stepped out of an anime convention.
How do I know?
I learnt a bit about Rias's brother and Sona's sister, respectively.
After all, they were the Satans.
Also, Serafall got an easier-to-remember name and a cool sea dragon name.
Her gaze swept the room, then landed on a familiar face.
"So-tan!"
Her voice lit up, bright as fireworks.
"Your big sis has come for you!"
The suffocating aura flipped instantly—frosty dread transmuted into heart-shaped sparkles.
The overwhelming chill became glittery affection.
The contrast whiplashed my brain.
One moment: doom incarnate.
Next: obsessive big-sister energy.
Beside me, Asia gasped softly.
Rias muttered something that sounded suspiciously like, "Here we go again."
Koneko's eyebrow twitched.
Akeno outright giggled.
Sona?
She closed her eyes, pinched the bridge of her nose, and whispered the eternal lament of little sisters everywhere.
"…Not here. Not now."
But Levi-tan was already sweeping across the frost, sparkles trailing her steps, arms outstretched for her "So-tan."
I stared.
The mightiest devil alive.
A magical girl idol.
A siscon.
This world makes less sense every single day.
Well, I mean, she told me only that she is Satan, one of the most powerful beings in hell.
My mistake, I didn't dig deep, but I was completely expecting a super cold beauty than... this happy-go-lucky mess of a siscon!!!
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