Suddenly, the front door creaked open, and Sona stepped inside, holding a stack of documents under one arm.
"Zevion, I came here to—"
She froze mid-sentence, her sharp eyes sweeping over the chaotic tableau in front of her.
Her student council brain clearly started categorizing what she was seeing:
Irina is on edge, practically glowing with holy fervor.
Xenovia, gripping a radiant sword, glaring like a knight from a tragic play.
Me on my knees, clinging to Xenovia's legs like a drowning man grabbing driftwood.
Akeno lounging smugly in her bathrobe, talking about making people into her "pets."
Rias red as a tomato and trying not to combust on the spot.
Koneko was looking at me like I was beneath human dignity.
And poor Asia was blinking innocently like she had wandered into the wrong anime.
Sona just… pinched the bridge of her nose with a deep sigh.
"…What… exactly am I looking at?"
Nobody answered.
Xenovia bristled but didn't speak.
Irina muttered something about "devil corruption."
Akeno smiled wider as though she'd just been handed a bigger audience.
Rias buried her face in her hands.
And me?
I gave Sona my best teary-eyed, victimized look.
"Sona… save me… They're making me do things…"
Her stare sharpened, then she groaned and muttered.
"I was gone for two hours. Just two. And you manage to turn my entire afternoon into a circus."
...
An hour later, I was flat on the floor, knees folded under me, face bruised, and my head throbbing — and not from some dramatic revelation or cosmic pain, but from actual, very real hits.
It all started when Sona, after listening to what's going on, finally decided she'd had enough.
She marched in like a judge who'd already read the entire case file, folded her arms, and with zero tolerance for nonsense, slammed her fist down on my head as she barked out the truth.
No theatrics, no mercy — just a single, crushing statement that cleared everything up in a heartbeat.
"Stop this ridiculousness. He's not a captive, he's not possessed, and none of you are being reasonable! And you exorcists, you should know it better, that our clans never do such a thing! Also, do you really think there is such a magic with no residual or traces of it!"
Her words sliced through the room, and the entire farce collapsed under its own absurdity.
For a half-second, there was stunned silence — then the punishment phase began.
Irina and Xenovia, hot with righteous fury (and maybe a little humiliated and embarrassed), didn't waste time.
They descended on me like a pair of very determined storm clouds: a few sharp kicks delivered in a flurry, stomps to the ribs, back, and enough force to ensure I remembered the lesson.
They weren't trying to kill me — far from it — but they made sure I wouldn't be repeating that stunt anytime soon.
Akeno watched with that gleeful, entertained expression she always wore when the drama got good.
Rias hovered between mortification and relief.
Koneko rolled her eyes so hard I could hear the moral judgment.
Asia looked confused but worried.
I lay there, winded and sorry for every smug thought I'd ever had, while Irina panted nearby and Xenovia gave me one last glare that could've frozen lava.
"...Wait! Why am I the only one being punished!? Clearly, Akeno was just as guilty in all this!"
I protested, still nursing the bruises Irina and Xenovia had left me.
Rias, who was now normal without her serve blushing from earlier, arms crossed, tilted her head with that deceptively sweet smile of hers.
She turned toward Akeno, who was still lounging with that smug, satisfied expression.
"You're right."
Rias said calmly, her voice as smooth as velvet and twice as dangerous.
"The exorcists have already disciplined Zevion. So naturally, Akeno, you'll need your punishment as well."
Akeno blinked, her smirk twitching.
"Ara~ Rias? Surely you don't mean—"
"One thousand spankings."
Rias cut in without hesitation.
"I don't want to do it, but you snuck into his home while we were gone and spent all that time with him, so... smiles sweetly, you know what that means, right?~"
I swear the temperature in the room dropped by ten degrees.
Her smile was bright and warm, but behind it?
Pure death.
I suddenly understood why devils are devils.
At first I thought, One thousand?
That must be an exaggeration.
Ten spankings already sound like torture-level punishment.
Even if not a hundred was more than enough.
But no—Rias wasn't exaggerating at all.
She raised her hand, and a glowing crimson magic circle spread across her palm.
Whoosh!
The very first strike landed on Akeno's backside with a thunderclap of force, the gust of wind so sharp it rattled the furniture.
It was like a storm had just been summoned into my living room.
I flinched.
If ten hits felt like hell, what kind of monster endures a thousand of these?!
And then came the real horror.
Akeno didn't scream.
She didn't beg.
She didn't even scowl.
Instead... her face flushed scarlet, her breath caught, and then—she smiled.
A wide, unholy grin of sheer delight.
"As expected of you, Rias... fufufu~ that was wonderful. Please... harder."
I froze.
Everyone froze.
Others exchanged horrified glances.
Even Irina, who had been full of righteous fury earlier, looked like she wanted holy water for her eyes.
This woman... she's enjoying it?!
Rias' expression twitched, but she kept her smile in place.
Another strike landed.
Another storm gust.
And Akeno only looked more thrilled, practically glowing with twisted bliss.
My jaw hung open.
Fear?
Respect?
Disgust?
Honestly, I didn't know what I felt anymore.
Only one thought repeated in my head like a mantra:
Note to self. Never. Ever. Make Rias mad. And never, ever leave Akeno unsupervised.
Honestly… what is with this girl?
Akeno's got a sadistic streak sharp enough to cut diamonds, and her masochistic side?
Legendary doesn't even begin to cover it.
It's… unsettling.
Thrilling.
And completely unpredictable.
Why did I like her again?
Well… despite everything, despite the chaos and the bizarre punishments, being with her feels like home.
Safe, warm, familiar.
Even when she's tormenting me half the time.
There's comfort in that madness.
But… this?
Her perverted streaks, her delight in this kind of chaos… was it really worth it?
I sighed.
My personal ideology, the one I cling to no matter how ridiculous the situation, came to mind: once you love someone, or they're family to you, you don't abandon them — no matter what.
So… I'm stuck.
Stuck with this pervert, even if she drives me absolutely insane.
…Wait.
If she's such a pervert… does loving her make me a pervert too?
I shook my head, trying to make sense of it.
Maybe the answer didn't matter.
Some things in life were messy, complicated, and ridiculously entertaining — and maybe that was exactly how it was supposed to be with her.
Still… I have to find a way to survive.
Somehow.
I can't keep being the sole target of her sadistic streak forever.
I mean, yes, I love her, yes, being with her feels like home… but my face, my ribs, my dignity — they can only take so much.
There has to be some middle ground, some clever strategy where I stay close to her without ending up bruised every other hour.
If anyone could figure out a loophole in Akeno's perverted torment system… It's probably me.
Somehow.
Maybe!
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