After Akeno got her punishment, everyone settled down in the living room—everyone except Akeno, of course.
She hovered around like a ghost with a very sore backside, occasionally making little sounds that were way too close to pleasure than pain.
Honestly, it was disturbing.
Phew.
At least her body does register hurt as hurt.
If not, I really would've started believing she was some kind of monster in disguise… or maybe a new species altogether: Pervertus Maximum.
Anyway, enough about her.
It was time to get to the main topic.
Irina leaned forward, her eyes sharp.
"So, Zevion… why are you with devils? And more importantly, how do you even know about the supernatural world?"
…Well.
That's a normal question.
A perfectly logical, reasonable, rational question.
Which is exactly why it feels completely abnormal to me right now.
Seriously, after everything today, a sane question feels more suspicious than being asked 'why live?'.
But hold on—why am I with devils again?
Shit.
Do I… seriously have this bad a memory?
Okay, fine.
I do remember how I first stumbled into this supernatural circus, but I forget how I joined them and now hang out with the All-Devil's club.
And hey, I am a part-time author.
If there's one thing I'm good at, it's fabricating convincing stories on the spot.
Daily practice, baby.
So I put on my 'wise storyteller' voice:
"Well, one day, I could suddenly summon things. Monsters, creatures, weird junk. Then one day, when I was with this girl called Koneko—oh wait. Let me properly introduce everyone first."
Wow.
Smooth.
Really smooth.
Awkward Conversation 101.
I should seriously teach classes.
This reminds me why I am an ex-introvert.
I pointed around the room like I was hosting some bizarre supernatural talk show:
"That white-haired girl is Koneko. That pervert over there is Akeno. The strict girl with glasses is Sona. The red-haired one is Rias. The blonde is Asia. The blue-haired swordswoman is Xenovia. The light brown-haired one is Irina—my childhood friend. Rias is my current girlfriend. And except for Xenovia, everyone else here is basically family. Oh, and there's a girl named Tsubaki too, but she's not here right now. She'll drop in later."
…And that's when it hit me.
The words I just said?
Out loud?
That made me sound like…
Not an ordinary guy.
Not even a hero.
Nope.
That made me sound like…
A Playboy.
A harem protagonist.
Quite possibly, the Scum of the Earth™.
And judging by Xenovia and Irina's wide-eyed, slack-jawed expressions, they were thinking the same thing.
Meanwhile, the others?
'Oh well.'
Totally unfazed.
Business as usual.
…Which is even worse, because that means this insane harem situation is normal to them.
Am I that bad?
Before either Irina or Xenovia could launch their next barrage of questions—or before I actually had to explain anything properly—I did what any self-respecting man in my situation would do: divert attention.
I raised a hand like I was about to launch into a dramatic speech.
"So, one day I was out with this white-haired girl—Koneko, over there."
I gestured toward Koneko, who blinked at me like a cat disturbed mid-nap.
"We were heading to a café or a restaurant… uh, don't remember which. Anyway, they had a 90% discount on food for couples, so we went as fake ones. You know, 'romantic dinner but for the coupons' kinda thing. Then on the way back home, we ran into this crazy exhibitionist fallen angel who tried to attack us—"
I paused dramatically, then smirked.
"—so I defeated her with my summon. Easy win. After all, there is no way that I will get scared of something like that."
Recap.
I did.
I tried to run away from her, but who needs such details?
The room stared.
I could feel the weight of a dozen eyes.
Rias tilted her head.
Irina's grip on me tightened as she was next to me.
Xenovia squinted like she was trying to decide if I was joking.
Then, like a bucket of ice water, the word "fallen angel" triggered something in my brain.
A terrible something.
"...Wait."
My voice cracked.
"Why does it feel like I'm forgetting something really important?"
The realization hit me like a train.
Fuck!
My heart dropped into my stomach.
I'd taken two fallen angels prisoner.
For information.
And it's been… what, a month?
A month.
Oh no.
Ohhhh no no no no.
I jumped to my feet like someone had set me on fire.
"Giratina! Pull out those fallen angels!!"
I barked the order so fast it came out in one breath.
Everyone jumped at the sudden command—except Giratina, who obediently answered.
My shadow rippled unnaturally across the floor, stretching like a black sea, before erupting upward.
And then, to everyone's collective horror—including mine—three girls spilled out of the darkness.
Not two.
Three.
They collapsed onto the floor like dried-up ragdolls, unconscious and pale.
The air in the room went still.
I stared at them, my brain trying to catch up with my own actions.
"…Did I… forget another girl as well?"
Akeno raised an eyebrow, looking like she was two seconds away from teasing me to death.
Koneko just stared with that deadpan glare of hers, her imaginary cat-tail twitching.
Irina's eyes went as wide as dinner plates.
Xenovia's sword hand twitched like she was going to smite me right then and there.
And me?
I scratched the back of my head, sweat beading down my temple.
"…Maybe I should really get a doctor."
The silence stretched, the tension so thick you could cut it with Xenovia's sword.
Then Rias finally exhaled.
Asia made a little squeak of shock.
Akeno, of course, smiled like it was the best drama she'd seen all month.
Three unconscious fallen angels.
One, panicking me.
And a room full of devils and exorcists.
Yep.
They were still breathing.
At least there was that.
I crouched over the three crumpled figures on the floor, my shadow still curling back into me like a living thing.
Their chests rose and fell shallowly, the sound of their breath ragged but present.
Good news—they weren't dead.
Bad news—I'd apparently forgotten about them for a whole month.
I snapped my head toward Asia.
"Asia, quickly—heal them! Before they really die!"
She blinked once, then immediately dropped to her knees beside the fallen angels, hands clasped.
"Y-Yes!"
As expected of my near-ideal nun.
She slipped into a prayer posture so naturally that it almost looked rehearsed.
A gentle, holy light gathered in her palms, spilling out over the three girls like liquid sunlight.
Their pale, dried-out faces softened as the healing power began to knit them back into shape.
For a moment, the room went completely silent—just the soft hum of Asia's magic and the faint smell of something like warm incense.
It was beautiful.
The only thing missing was… well… a mature body for her to grow into.
Then she'd be my ideal nun.
What?
A man can have dreams, okay?
Yes, yes, three girls are dying on the floor.
But come on, this is my inner monologue.
I'm allowed to think, aren't I?
Besides, it's not like I care about them on a personal level.
While I may have forgotten them, I didn't forget what they did.
All three of them had tried to kill me.
One of them tried to kill Koneko.
Two of them tried to kill Asia.
So, no—I don't care about them.
I just don't want them to die before they've spilled the information I caught them for.
My eyes flicked back to the duo of exorcists.
Irina and Xenovia were still frozen in place, watching Asia's healing glow spread across the battered wings of the fallen angel.
Sona and Rias' eyes narrowed slightly, calculating.
Then started pinching their nose as if they knew a great trouble would come soon.
This was not how I imagined tonight going.
...................................................................................................................
Don't forget to vote on the poll to decide on the next fanfic, alongside only on Patreon!
Patreon link: patreon.com/zevionasgorath