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All eyes were on him and for the first time, Varys had no plans for it. Varys was the kind of person who had an alternative for every plan he made, in case those plans ever fell off. This has never happened before, this was part of no plans.
He really hated magic.
"It's all a ruse, your grace" Varys lowered his head. Multiple plans were going through his head, multiple alternatives of alternatives. Perhaps he should be honest, or honest to a degree. "Illyrio is a childhood friend of mine... and hails from the line of Viserra Targaryen."
The 'revelation' made many gasp. A half-truth that bordered on a lie. It was not Illyrio who was the Targaryen descendant, it was his dearly departed wife Serra... Varys' secret sister. They need not know that.
"Illyrio was displeased with the state of the Aerys Targaryen, so he pulled some strings that got the mad king's attention on me. He feels that as a descendant of the Viserra Targaryen, he is entitled to make sure the Targaryens do not devolve into mad kings and cursed princes. I was sent with only a single purpose, to depose Aerys and put Rhaegar on the throne."
"Bullshit" Rhaegar spat. "All the plans that I ever made were thwarted because of you! You're the reason my father began distrusting me!
"I can assure you Prince Rhaegar, if your plans were half a good one I would have supported them," Varys said coolly. "I also needed to keep up appearances, hence me thwarting your half-baked plans."
While Rhaegar looked livid at being insulted, Ned narrowed his eyes on the man.
"So now you wish to put Viserys on the Throne, is that it?" he asked.
"Illyrio would want Viserys on the Throne, so the Targaryen King is indebted to him and he might exercise a degree of control over Westeros."
"And you?" Jon Snow questioned, equally suspicious as his father/uncle.
"No. While I began as such, I have come to realize that any seed of Aerys Targaryen would be poison on the Throne. And King Robert has done a fine job on the Throne, albeit it was his Council that did it, it is to his credit for choosing them. The realm is better in his hands than Viserys Targaryen. My being here and witnessing this unravelling is proof enough of that."
"Yet you make him believe otherwise?" Stannis questioned.
"I have to keep an eye on the Targaryens for his Grace somehow. Illyrio has proven to be a good spy. Albeit one who is not aware that is one."
"I don't believe you" Renly narrowed his eyes.
"Believe me not if you must, but I have spoken the truth and nothing but."
"Enough talking. We keep watching and we'll find out on our own" Robert grunted, glaring daggers at Varys.
They all looked displeased, but all took their seats once more. Varys was the last to do so, his trademark smile now missing.
"I fucking hate magic" the bald one whispered, earning a snort from Mya who had overheard him.
[Varys enters the Throne Room, where Baelish is standing, looking at the throne.]
"Great, two worms together" Renly muttered.
"The first to arrive and the last to leave. I admire your industry."
"You do move quietly."
"We all have our qualities."
"You look a bit lonely today. You should pay a visit to my brothel this evening. First boy is on the house."
"The children do not need to hear this filth" Catelyn stated angrily.
She received no replies.
"I think you're mistaking business with pleasure."
"Am I? All those birds that whisper in your ear, such pretty little things. Trust me, we accommodate all inclinations."
Everyone threw Varys looks but he shrugged them off with a smile.
"Oh, I'm sure. Lord Redwyne likes his boys very young, I hear."
Olenna stiffened and blanched. For fuck sake! Was she going to learn unsavoury shit about her family now?
"I'm a purveyor of beauty and discretion, both equally important."
"Though I suppose beauty is a subjective quality, no? Is it true that Ser Marlon of Tumblestone prefers amputees?"
"All desires are valid to a man with a full purse."
"And I heard the most awful rumour about a certain lord with a taste for fresh cadavers. Must be enormously difficult to accommodate that inclination. The logistics alone... to find beautiful corpses before they rot."
"Strictly speaking, such a thing would not be in accordance with the King's laws.
"Strictly speaking."
"Jon remember to look into Littlefingers businesses for me. I want to know what else this shit has been doing that's not in accordance with my laws" Robert grunted.
"Of course" Jon Arryn sighed. He would have done so regardless. Petyr has given him much to think about, and a lot more to look into.
"Tell me. Does someone, somewhere, keep your balls in a little box? I've often wondered."
"Do you know, I have no idea where they are? And we had been so close."
"Why are you a eunuch?" Bran asked, earning a sharp hit on the arm from his mother and a look from his father.
But Varys simply smiled at the boy.
"I was born a slave in Lys and was apprenticed as an orphan to a troupe of mummers. During one of their shows in Myr, a sorcerer bought me. He cut off my cock and balls for some spell he wished to perform."
"Was he able to perform it?" Arya asked, over all the looks and sounds of horror coming from a few. Not many of them truly knew the story of how Varys came to be a Eunuch.
"I don't quite remember it" Varys shrugged. "It was so long ago."
"Enough talk. We continue watching" Robert looked green in the face.
"But enough about me. How have you been since we last saw each other?"
"Since you last saw me or since I last saw you?"
"Now the last time I saw you, you were talking to the Hand of the King."
"Saw me with your own eyes?"
"Eyes I own."
"Council business. We all have so much to discuss with Ned Stark"
"Everyone's well aware of your enduring fondness for Lord Stark's wife. If the Lannisters were behind the attempt on the Stark boy's life and it was discovered that you helped the Starks come to that conclusion... To think... A simple word to the Queen..."
"Why exactly are we watching this part exactly?" Oberyn questioned with a disgruntled look.
"Why are we watching any of it?" Doran asked with a roll of his eyes. "Patience brother, we might learn something useful in this" he added.
Oberyn muttered his displeasure, words spoken only for himself.
"One shudders at the thought. But you know something? I do believe that I have seen you even more recently than you have seen me."
"Have you?"
"Yes. Earlier today, I distinctly recall seeing you talking to Lord Stark in his chambers."
Ned's eyes flew wide in horror.
"He wasn't in the chamber" Ned pointed out with a growl.
"Maegor built many secret passages in the Red Keep, Lord Stark. He was as paranoid as the Mad King" Varys said with a smile.
"And you will divulge the location of each" Robert grunted in anger.
"In private, your Grace. Else it might be harder to keep an eye on plots from within Varys answered back with a tight-lipped smile.
Robert grunted but said no more.
"Was that you under the bed?"
"And not long after that when I saw you escorting a certain foreign dignitary... Council business? Of course, you would have friends from across The Narrow Sea. You're from there yourself, after all."
"He knows yet he says nothing to me!" Robert gripped his chair tightly. "Is my council full of self-serving pompous asses?!"
"It might be wise to rethink your entire council once you return" Ned suggested, throwing an apologetic look to Jon, Stannis and Renly. Jon and Renly returned the smile while Stannis looked as emotionless as ever.