Ava
I have a pain in the middle of my chest that threatens to make my heart leap out of my chest.
Anger. Frustration. Pain. Emptiness.
I drag my feet down the hallway, lost in my thoughts. I follow Rori, or rather, the sound of her footsteps on the floor.
The ticking has an almost hypnotic sound. It guides me. It leads the way.
Especially because, right now, I don't know where to go.
The letter in my pocket weighs as much as a boulder.
Damn old dinosaur! What have you invented this time?
I see her cruel eyes fixed on me, scrutinizing me. Making me feel like a fool.
Especially next to her precious grandson.
God, I feel like screaming.
Min Jin.
Damn the moment I met you.
I sigh and stop short: Rori is hesitant in front of a door.
I look at her.
She looks at me.
Yes, that's it.
The room that's always been ours.
The room assigned to us in this big house when we became 'Kim': she by birthright, I by adoption.
I swallow the pain, take a step forward, and take the key from her hands.
It's cold to the touch, like my sister's hands.
I don't meet her eyes and I slide it into the lock.
It turns easily, as if someone had kept it in order all these years.
10 years.
It makes no sound as it slides on its hinges, opening easily and opening onto a bright, clean space.
We stand still in the doorway, suspended between past and present.
I feel the floor burning beneath my feet, as if the gates of hell had opened and welcomed us.
I inhale. Once. Twice. Three. Four times.
My legs are like boulders as I try to take a step.
But I do.
I have to.
And it's like a storm is hitting me.
There it is, the wall I painted as a teenager. A mix between Peter Pan's Island and Alice in Wonderland. Plants, cats perched on majestic trees, an island in the middle of the sea, sails unfurled in the wind.
It's that.
A rainbow with our names: Ava + Min + Roori.
The Three Musketeers.
Inseparable friends.
The anger is so great that it overcomes the pain.
I take the jug of water and throw it against the wall, as if it could erase that past forever.
It shatters with a dull thud, while shards of glass splash across the room.
The water hits the rainbow, caresses it for a moment, and then slides down, like tears that never flowed.
But nothing happens: the paint doesn't melt, it doesn't drip.
It's indelible.
Like the memories of that cursed summer.
My sister's sobs bring me back to reality, and I turn around abruptly.
Her shoulders shake, and her eyes fill with tears.
Damn me and my shitty personality.
I take two steps and hold her in my embrace.
She won't suffer anymore because of me, I promised.
I bite my lip and hold back a cry of despair.
I look up at the door and see him.
There, standing on the threshold, observing my disaster.
Then he shifts his gaze. It's a long, painful moment as he rests on me.
His eyes are a condemnation.
Min Jin.
He hasn't forgotten.
He hasn't forgiven.
He hasn't erased me from his life yet.
But it won't be for long.