We spent an hour trying to navigate the ruined, crumbling structure. We spent the hour yelling out Nigel's name. We quickly found that it was only the two of us left. I told Levi that Rahǩãn said all who stood behind me. Nigel was standing behind me; everything that was behind where I was standing had gone, replaced by nothing but the sea. Levi was standing ahead and to the side as he walked over to Rahǩãn to kill him; that is why he was spared, and Nigel was not. This was the work of magic; there was no other explanation.
We reconvened at the carriage, where the driver was waiting, who had run up to meet us when he saw us approaching. Levi asked him if he also saw a bright flash of light, and then everything south of here vanished. He nodded frantically, panic and terror in his eyes. I just stood there watching. I don't think I really grasped what had happened yet. Levi finally turned to me.
"I need to head back and report. I'm going to give you a choice here. Do you want to come back with me?"
"Do I… want to?"
"Yes, do you want to come back to the city?"
I looked back at the newly formed sea, watching the moonlight dance along its rippling surface. Was this part of the plan? Would Xudo praise me for this? For the destruction of a country? Oh saints, it's all gone, isn't it? Even Trydent Wood? "No."
I heard the sounds of things moving, clattering about for a bit, and then a horse pulling the carriage away. I stood there looking at the sea, at the crater where we had awoken after the flash. After some time, I finally turned back. They had left me a travel pack, a sleeping bag, and other basic necessities. I left them in the grass and walked again toward what little remained of Balim.
I sat at the edge of the crater, looking out to the sea as the sun started to rise. I stared into that glimmering crack in the air as it shifted and vibrated slightly. An echo, a remnant of the destructive force that originated from that point, that's what it must be. As a weapon can tear a hole in flesh or fabric, this magic tore a hole in reality itself. It was a scar, a scar upon the world itself.
I had done this, and I was responsible. Kona had left me, Nigel was dead, my mother was dead… I killed them, me. I shifted my hand into a claw and thrust it at my throat in an attempt to decapitate myself, but I was stopped. It felt like someone was pulling on my arm, or that it was in unbreakable chains holding it in place, the sharp tip of my clawed finger barely touching the skin. I couldn't die; He wouldn't let me die.
I leaned forward, looking down past my dangling legs at the drop below into the crater. I kept leaning forward more and more until I started to roll and tumble down the side. If I were lucky, I might bash my head on a sharp rock. But no, it hurt, and the scratches and cuts took a moment before healing, his form of punishment, I suppose. I stood where the water pooled at the base of the crater. It wasn't as deep as I had thought above. I looked down at the water, maybe I could drown myself? As the ripples of the water subsided, it gave way to a clear reflection, a reflection that shocked me slightly. My hair was white now. I reached up and pinched a tuft, pulling it down in front of my eyes. It was true, my hair had changed colour. From black to white. It wasn't white like the snow, but not exactly grey either, like you see on the elderly; it was somewhere in between. Was this a byproduct of the magic? Well, it didn't matter either way; who cared about the hair colour of a corpse?
I leaned forward and fell into the water; it was shallow. When I needed air, I couldn't breathe in the water as much as I wanted to; it was instinct that drove me to lift my head. Dejected, I climbed back up the crater and sat looking at the scar in the air.
What could I do now? What should I do? Levi let me go free. Why did he even do that? Maybe he suspected this was Xudo's plan and had some misgivings about letting me be used as a weapon. If true, then I suppose I might still have one friend left. I could go north and try to find Kona? No, she would probably be more horrified by this than what happened at Snowfall. What could I do?
…
I suppose there was that one thing. That's it, that's the best I can think of. I would go and explore, like Mother and Father did. When she told me about that, I wanted to explore and travel. I suppose I have been, but not the way I would like. Now, I am not beholden to anyone; I can do as I please. Yes, I think I might do that for a bit. From what I recall, I've not been west yet. There isn't much land north or east of the imperial city, but west, that's somewhere I might want to visit.
The road west was long. I followed the shore and crossed through a forest, coming upon a small fishing village and found it in ruins. There was fire and water, large rocks, metal, and wood strewn through the town. It was as if a large battle had occurred. The locals told me that a few weeks ago, a few of the people in town suddenly gained the ability to move things with their minds, and chaos broke out as they lost control, killing dozens. The timeframe lined up exactly with when I touched the orb.
I continued north to a large port city that looked more like the same, but less damaged. Aside from the Capital itself, this was the closest major city to the house of the seven saints. Holy knights were patrolling, and word had spread about magic users appearing in the world. I heard people call them dangerous and unpredictable, and of course, everyone was scared. Is this what he wanted? Fear, panic, chaos, no doubt all over the world, all at once?
I moved on to the next town, Westerford. Where a building had been swallowed by the earth. Magic, they said. A man, being hunted by the town, panicked, and with a flick of his wrist, the earth shifted and gave way to a hole, swallowing the building. The dead body was strung up outside the gate, missing both hands.
Months had passed at this point, and I think I had turned seventeen now, though I don't know when. I didn't even know if we had crossed into the next year or not, and frankly, I didn't care. I finally arrived at the city of Green Pass. The old border city that separated the imperial central lands from the western Paninculia. The grass was greener over there, and the air smelled fresher and calmer. I asked about the cities west of here, and I was told there were six in all, plus one on an island. Just before turning to leave, I turned back to the innkeeper I had asked.
"Is the liquor good in this part of the world?"
"The best."
I smiled when he said that; it was the first time I had smiled in months. Because I finally understood it, I finally understood why my mother liked to drink.