The urge to die is a powerful thing. For the past year, I have wondered what the Western Pininculia is sampling, its alcohol and women. I hunt down bangeest and magic users to line my pockets and carry little else. With naught left to my name, some see me as little more than a wandering bum, others, a dangerous bounty hunter. The White Death is what they call me behind my back on account of the colour of my hair, not that I really care.
The emperor and the church have come forward and declared all magic as heresy and all who dabble in magic to be hunted. They prefer prisoners but don't complain when I deliver a corpse. I do feel bad for some of them; sometimes they just look scared, afraid of their own powers. But others can be incredibly deadly. It's quite random what type of magic you get. I've seen them control small rocks, leaves, and certain types of metal. It's always only one thing that they can use, only one and to the degree they can manipulate also seems random, just like who became able to use magic.
Of course, most try to hide the fact that they can use magic. I've seen two lynchings when someone was accused of magecraft, one man, one child. Of course, you have to wonder if someone accused them just because they wanted them gone and that they weren't mages at all. People are scared of mages after all, even the slightest hint of magic is enough to get you burned alive. I prefer to hunt normal bandits though, at least that way you know what you're getting into.
For the past month, I've stopped hunting, and I've been celebrating my seventeenth birthday. I don't know what day or month it even is, so instead I've been drinking every day. I drink more and more and eventually get to the point that I live in a tavern, specifically at the counter with a mug loosely clasped in my fist.
Some of the working women of… whatever town I was in started to come to the tavern to bleed me dry of funds. I told them I would pay extra if they kept pouring liquor into my mouth after I got to the point where I couldn't do it myself. They all obliged happily. I'm not sure what I was trying to do with that, but by the disappointment I felt every time I woke up, I must be trying to drink myself to death. After all, when I'm drunk, Wrath can't stop me from drinking more. This might be the only way I can actually kill myself, and in all honesty, it's not a bad way to do it. Liquor and women.
Every day I would repeat this process, and every day I hoped might be the last. Either that or one day soon I would run out of money and have to stop for a bit to get more. As days crept by, I kept waking up disappointed, each day with a different woman in my bed, sometimes multiple. Until finally came the day when I ran out of money.
As I downed the last bit of alcohol I could afford, I hoped it might be enough. Though I felt lonely, no woman of the night had come to shovel drink down my throat nor to join me in bed afterwards. And so I found one in the tavern, grabbed her and took her to my room before I blacked out from the drink.
When I awoke the next day, I did so with a pained groan as I rolled around the empty bed, clutching at my head.
"Finally awake, are you?"
A voice called out that I didn't recognise. It sounded sweet and soft, though. I tilted my head and saw in the corner of the room, sitting in a chair and looking my way was a woman with raven hair that drooped just past the shoulders and a young-looking face.
"Who are you?"
She got up and walked over slowly. "Who am I? Oh, sweetie, after you were so aggressive with me last night, grabbing me out of nowhere, dragging me to your room to have your way with me against my will. Then, after getting me all excited, you passed out on the bed. Talk about a tease."
I couldn't properly respond to what she said. Did I mistake her for a working girl last night? I don't even remember. "Sorry… but I didn't… do anything to you last night… right?"
She sat on the bed, leaning in closer to me. As she did, I noticed something was slightly off about her face, but I couldn't quite place it. But I feel like I have seen this person before.
"Nope, I was left untouched, lucky you."
"Lucky me? Why's that?"
"Because I assume you like girls." She stood up, leaving me confused. She turned back and continued. "Oh, next time you try to rape someone, make sure it is a girl."
"What… are you saying?"
"Yep. I'm a guy." He smiled at me in a way that only a woman ever has.
Though I didn't notice it before. With his flat chest, one could assume he was a woman who wasn't as well-endowed at a glance. Even talking with him up close, it was easy to mistake him for a woman. His clothes showed off his stomach, thin arms, and thick thighs. I couldn't imagine a man ever writing such clothes, but there he is.
"What the fuck?" I couldn't even utter anything else, looking at the sight before me and being told it was the exact opposite.
"What? Need more proof?" He turned and cupped his crotch, forming a bulge that showed the clear outline of his privates.
"No, no, I believe you!" I looked away, hoping he wouldn't pull it out.
He laughed, even his laugh was high-pitched and feminine. "Too bad though, been a while since I've been fucked like a woman. I was kinda looking forward to it. Oh, and how you tossed me on the bed and crawled over me like a rabid beast, I would be lying if I didn't get a hard-on."
His tone was light and teasing; it was obvious he was trying to mess with me, but even still, it was hard not to be embarrassed by what I was hearing. He walked back over and sat on the bed, leaning back to look at my face.
"Say, you sure you're not into dude? Even though I look and sound like this? Because, to be honest, you're kind of hot. I would love to suck your dick."
"Can you fucking stop!"
My outburst caused him to laugh harder. I couldn't tell if he was actually being serious or just trying to provoke a reaction from me. Either way, it didn't matter.
"Sorry, it's not every day you almost get fucked by the White Death."
The air stood still. This very feminine-looking man knew who I was. "What? Do you want something from me?"
He leaned in with a massive grin on his face.
"I swear to the saints if you say my dick, I will hit you."
He pouted and puffed up his cheeks, being overly dramatic. "No fun. But yes, I do actually want your help. Are you looking for work?"
"Work? You want to hire me? Assassination job?"
"No, you see, I know who you are. Who you reall,y really are." I leaned in uncomfortably close. "What's a Royal Guard doing as a mercenary? And you were only on the job for what, a few months?"
"How the fuck do you know that?" I tensed my arm, and I felt ready to kill.
"Because I saw you going into the city, I saw you coming out going south a while later. And I never, never forget a face." I relaxed my muscles a bit. It seemed this person wasn't a threat, or at least not my enemy. They're not someone sent by the crown.
He sprang up from the bed and trotted to the other end of the room, walking around the chair and leaning on the backrest. "I alsoooo happen to know… you're a demon."
I sat up further in my bed suddenly, and at the same with he lifted the chair to use as a shield as he let out an 'eep'. He cowered behind it for a moment before lowering it and looking back my way as I propped myself against the bed's backboard.
"How do you know that?"
"I paid off a few people to loosen their lips. It's a wonder what people see and then want to keep to themselves. A man ripping off a horse's head would have that kind of effect on someone."
"Hey, that horse was trained to fight."
"I'm not here to argue about right or wrong with you. I'm here to offer you a job, nothing more."
"Why me? Why me specifically?"
"Because nobody else can do it. I'll pay you a small fortune if you agree."
I sighed and leaned my head back, bumping against the wall a few times. "Sure… got nothing else going on anyway." He smiled at me as I shifted to get out of the bed. "What's your name anyway?"
"Revy, Revy Argal."
As I pulled the sheets back, I noticed I was completely naked. That by itself was normal for the past few months, but he claimed that I didn't do anything last night. "Revy… why am I naked?"
He grinned and shrugged with a smirk on his face that said he knew exactly why I was naked. I shot him an accusing glare in retort.
"Oh, what. You tried to rape me. I was just trying to… get you encouraged to keep going."
I groaned, closed my eyes, took a deep breath and decided to pretend like I didn't hear that. As I got out of bed and gathered my clothes, he continued to stare at me. I was used to being naked in the presence of women the following morning, but this felt a bit different. Though he did look enough like one that it didn't bother me too much. I clothed myself and the two of us left the inn, and I started to follow Revy eastward.
"So, where are we going? What's the job?"
"Oh, we're going to the imperial city. You're going to help me take out a gang and get all my illegal guns back."
Great. Not only have I gotten into bed with a criminal, but we're also going back to the city. Before I help this guy, it might be worthwhile to pay Xudo a visit.