Alchemy class was supposed to be peaceful.
Supposed to be.
I was told it was "basic support training." Something all hero-affiliated personnel were encouraged to attend, to better understand how potions and enchantments worked.
I thought, Cool, maybe I'll learn how to make healing salves or anti-itch creams or whatever.
What they didn't mention?
Explosions.
Fire.
A talking cauldron named Greg.
And the fact that Blobbert is apparently immune to fire, which is NOT something I ever wanted to find out that way.
---
Let's rewind a little.
After the rooftop assassination attempt (normal weekday stuff) and our emotionally awkward stargazing moment (progress!), I thought Elise and I had reached a new level of understanding.
So naturally, she decided to ditch me.
"I have combat training today," she said. "You're not needed."
"You wound me."
"I'll survive."
"I won't. My heart is delicate."
She walked off without looking back.
I stood there, betrayed and dramatic, until a courier handed me a scroll marked "MANDATORY: Intro to Alchemy."
---
So now I was standing in a stone room filled with bubbling flasks, glowing herbs, and one uncomfortably enthusiastic instructor named Professor Beekle, who had the posture of a gremlin and the voice of a caffeinated squirrel.
"Welcome, welcome! We're going to be making our first starter potion today: a basic rejuvenation tonic! Great for cuts, bruises, and minor social anxiety!"
That last part felt targeted.
The room was filled with students. Most of them were younger nobles or support-class types. No one looked particularly thrilled to be here. Except for me.
And Blobbert, who I had hidden under my cloak like a rebellious child sneaking a pet into school.
Beekle started lecturing. I started zoning out. There were words like "mana stabilizers" and "herbal inversion ratios" and "please don't inhale the pink mist unless you want your eyebrows to vibrate."
I nodded sagely while my mind is flying elsewhere, understanding none of it.
---
We were assigned to stations. Each had a mini-cauldron, a set of herbs, and a mana crystal.
It looked easy.
Step one: Crush the leaf.
Step two: Add crystal dust.
Step three: Stir with intent.
I stirred.
Blobbert stirred with me. Yes, he mimicked my hand motions like a tiny goo chef. It was adorable.
Unfortunately, I think I stirred with too much intent.
The potion started bubbling aggressively.
"Uh-oh."
It turned purple.
"Uh-oh."
It began to hiss.
"Blobbert, we need to—"
BOOM.
My cauldron exploded in a cloud of glitter, smoke, and something that smelled suspiciously like roasted banana.
I was launched across the room and landed in a pile of alchemy textbooks, dazed and mildly on fire.
Blobbert was unharmed. In fact, he looked pleased.
---
Beekle rushed over. "Dear stars! What did you do?!"
"I... stirred?"
"You stirred with intent, didn't you?!"
"That was step three!!"
"Intent, not vengeance!"
Other students were staring. Someone was clapping. I'm pretty sure one girl was taking notes like she wanted to replicate my mistake.
A familiar voice cut through the smoke.
"…Ren?"
I looked up.
Elise was standing in the doorway, holding her sword, staring at me like she just walked in on a crime scene.
I raised a finger. "Before you say anything, this wasn't my fault."
The ceiling groaned ominously.
A small chunk of rock fell and hit me on the head.
She sighed. "I leave you alone for two hours."
"To be fair," I said, still covered in glitter, "this was technically educational."
She pinched the bridge of her nose. "Come on. Let's get you hosed off."
---
Later, as I was sitting in a fountain fully clothed and sulking, Blobbert floated beside me like a concerned pudding.
Elise sat on the edge, towel in hand.
"I don't understand how things always end like this," she muttered.
"It's a gift," I said proudly.
She shook her head. "You're impossible."
"And yet you haven't fired me."
She looked away. "Not yet."
Was that… a smile? The corners of her mouth twitched. I swear they did.
Blobbert squeaked approvingly.
---
That night, while trying to sleep, I got a System Notification.
[Skill Unlocked: Improvised Alchemy (Passive)]
[You have a 20% chance to cause accidental magical breakthroughs… or explosions.]
[Blobbert has absorbed alchemical residue and is evolving.]
"Wait, what—"
I sat up.
Blobbert was glowing.
Like, actually glowing.
His form shimmered—and a moment later, he had grown stubby little ears.
I stared.
"…You're not supposed to do that."
He bounced once.
And winked.
---
Apparently, I'm a Walking Health Hazard
I woke up the next morning to the sound of someone screaming.
Now, normally in this world, that could mean anything. Goblin raid. Spider in the pantry. Random noble losing their wig.
But no.
It was Professor Beekle.
He burst into the barracks like a caffeinated goblin with tenure, waving a clipboard and wearing goggles that made his eyes look five sizes too big.
"You!" he shrieked, pointing at me.
Still half-asleep, I blinked. "Me?"
"You!"
"Still me, yep."
"Do you realize what you did yesterday?!"
I glanced over at Blobbert, who was now shaped vaguely like a rabbit.
He squeaked and did a backflip.
"…Definitely did," I said carefully.
Beekle slammed the clipboard down. "You created a new type of alchemical reaction! The explosion released a unique resonance that temporarily boosted magical conductivity in every student within twenty feet!"
I squinted. "So… I made everyone… better at magic?"
"For ten minutes, yes!"
"You're welcome?"
He groaned. "You also permanently discolored the ceiling, awakened two sentient flasks, and may have accidentally turned Greg the cauldron into a philosopher."
I looked down.
Blobbert was chewing on my sock.
"…Yeah, that sounds about right."
---
Beekle left after threatening to make me a TA. I'm still not sure if it was a punishment or a promotion.
I was getting dressed when Elise knocked—actually knocked!—on my door.
"Training grounds. Now."
"Good morning to you too, sunshine."
She opened the door. "You smell like mushrooms and regret."
I sniffed myself. "Okay, fair."
---
The training grounds were quiet.
Unlike our usual combat drills, today's session was all about coordination.
Apparently, now that Elise had accepted that I wasn't just an annoying shadow with legs, she actually wanted to try some duo techniques.
Progress!
"I attack from the front," she explained. "You flank, disrupt, then retreat to support."
"I can do that," I said, stretching. "We'll call it Operation: I'm Only Here to Look Cool."
She gave me a long look. "…Let's just call it 'Plan B.'"
Ouch.
---
We trained for hours.
Elise was fast, efficient, surgical in her strikes.
I was... loud.
And slippery.
I kept forgetting that my Shadow Blink skill made me teleport in random directions if I sneezed mid-cast.
Which happened twice.
At one point, I teleported onto the training dummy, screamed, fell off, and broke the sword I wasn't even using.
Elise sighed. "This isn't working."
"I'm trying my best!"
"Your best involves screaming and flailing."
"It's my signature move!"
---
We took a break under a tree. Blobbert bounced between us, now playing tag with a butterfly and somehow winning.
"I'm not cut out for this serious stuff," I muttered.
Elise didn't answer immediately.
"You fought off trained assassins," she said finally. "You saved me. Twice."
"Yeah, but that was luck."
"No. That was instinct. And loyalty." She paused. "I... trust you."
I turned to her.
"You do?"
She nodded. "I wouldn't be training with you if I didn't."
My heart might've done a little somersault.
Or maybe that was the juice I drank earlier. Either way, I smiled.
---
That night, I couldn't sleep.
Mostly because Blobbert wouldn't stop vibrating.
"Dude, calm down," I whispered, poking him.
He glowed blue. Then green. Then purple. Then—
Ding!
[Blobbert has learned: Mana Pulse!]
"What does that even—"
WHOOSH.
A tiny magical shockwave knocked my pillow across the room.
Blobbert squeaked triumphantly.
I sat up, hair sticking in all directions.
"You're gonna get us both arrested."
He wobbled smugly.
I flopped back onto the bed, hands over my face.
"…I can't believe I'm raising a magical menace."
---
The Knight, The Guild Test, and the Public Slime Incident
Elise said we were going to buy bread.
I believed her.
I should not have believed her.
---
"Explain to me," I hissed, "how 'getting bread' turned into us standing in line at the Adventurer's Guild."
Elise was stone-faced, arms crossed. "We need field licenses to travel outside the capital. You're my Shadow. You require registration."
"And you thought this was something we could do in secret?!"
The massive stone building in front of us looked like a pub had fused with a fortress and was now manned by sword-swinging gym bros. Inside was even worse—mercenaries, mages, loud idiots, beer, bloodstains, and a literal sign that read:
"PLEASE REFRAIN FROM MURDERING IN THE LOBBY."
How reassuring.
A tall, bored receptionist glanced at me over the counter.
"Name?"
"Ren."
"Class?"
"Shadow."
She raised an eyebrow. "...Seriously?"
I nodded.
"And what's that slime doing on your head?"
"That's Blobbert."
"He's wearing a cape."
"He made it himself."
The receptionist blinked. "Right. Okay. Skills?"
"Uh…" I glanced at Elise. "Sword mimicry, shadow teleportation, and, uh, mild emotional damage?"
She stared.
"Also cooking," I added quickly. "And I heal emotionally unstable swordswomen through passive banter."
Elise smacked my arm.
"See?" I grinned. "Progress."
---
And then, as if the gods weren't done laughing, someone behind us shouted:
"THE NEWBIES ARE TAKING THE TEST?!"
I turned slowly.
A group of adventurers had gathered, most of them buff, sweaty, and looking like they'd been grinding XP since childhood. At the front was a blonde guy with a shiny spear and an even shinier ego.
"You're the Hero, right?" he said, pointing at Elise. "If your Shadow can't pass a basic test, maybe he shouldn't be at your side."
Elise didn't even blink. "He'll pass."
That's how I ended up in the guild's training pit five minutes later, holding a wooden sword and internally screaming.
---
The test was simple: survive one minute against an "intermediate-ranked knight."
That knight turned out to be Lady Calra, a one-eyed warrior with a claymore the size of a dinner table and the patience of a cat in water.
She looked at me, unimpressed. "You sure you're not just here for comic relief?"
"I am the comic relief," I said cheerfully. "But I also do my own stunts."
Blobbert squeaked from the sidelines, now wearing a tiny headband like a coach.
Elise stood silently behind him, arms crossed.
"Begin!" the instructor shouted.
Calra lunged.
I panicked.
Shadow Blink.
Vanished.
Reappeared behind her by accident.
"Ah—sorry!"
She spun. I flailed. We clashed.
Somehow, I parried.
We exchanged five blows in ten seconds.
Mostly me dodging. A little bit of crying.
And then—
Shadow Copy: Heavy Cleave
Her previous attack echoed in my body as my arm swung on instinct.
WHAM!
The force knocked her backward.
The crowd gasped.
She grunted, slid back… and smiled.
"Well damn. You can fight."
I stood panting, sweating, and slightly vibrating.
"Let's… never do that again."
The instructor raised his hand.
"Time!"
---
"Passed," the receptionist said later, stamping my card.
[New Rank: Copper-Class Adventurer]
My new badge looked cool. Blobbert immediately tried to eat it.
Elise walked beside me as we left.
"You weren't terrible," she said, almost like a compliment.
I beamed. "You're learning to praise people! So proud of you!"
"I'll throw you off the balcony."
"We're on the ground floor."
"I'll build one."
Blobbert squeaked proudly and exploded with glitter.
Everyone stared.
"...Did your slime just cast Confetti Spark?"
"Don't ask questions," I said quickly. "He's emotionally expressive."
---
As we walked back toward the castle, I looked down at the badge in my hand.
An adventurer now. Officially.
Still not the protagonist. Still the guy in the background.
But maybe… just maybe… that's okay.
I've got a sword, a magical marshmallow son, a socially awkward boss I might be falling for, and a license to cause legal amounts of chaos.
Life is good.
For now.
---
[End of Chapter 2]