I was fifteen years old, disgustingly rich, and wildly unqualified to exist.
Seriously, I had staff who did everything. Woke me up, brushed my hair, cooked me gourmet meals I didn't deserve, and still had the nerve to call me "Kaito-sama" like I'd earned it.
I hadn't.
Academically, I was bottom of the barrel. I skipped school more than I showed up, and when I did show up, it was either to sleep or mentally clock out mid-class. I had long since accepted my place in the ecosystem: apex freeloader.
Why?
Simple. My mom died and left behind a ridiculous inheritance.
We're talking "a mansions, five cars, private dojo, and servants who wear suits indoors" kind of inheritance. And apparently, when your mom is some big-shot warrior with a mysterious past and a scary amount of gold bullion, you get to retire before you even hit puberty.
So yeah, I coasted.
I spent most of my days glued to anime, games, and other... niche internet hobbies. Not proud, but not apologizing either. I knew how to live. And by "live," I mean rot in a gaming chair and watch questionable content at maximum volume with noise-canceling headphones and zero shame.
Of course, I was trained in swordsmanship and martial arts from the time I could walk.
Mother's orders.
She was always about "discipline," "spirit," "honing the body." All that traditional warrior stuff that didn't vibe with my natural NEET energy. I'd protest, she'd glare, and then I'd find myself dodging a shinai coming at me like a guided missile.
Even after she passed, I kept training. Not because I liked it. Not even out of respect. It was just... built into me. Something about drawing a blade made the world go quiet.
Anyway, fast forward to now.
It was a Thursday. Or maybe Friday. I don't keep track. The day started like any other: wake up at 2 PM, ignore the tutor knocking on my door, slide back into the nest of blankets, and open tabs I'd be ashamed to explain in public.
That was the plan.
What actually happened was far worse.
I had just booted up a certain anime involving magical girls, potions, and clearly non-PG plotlines, when I heard footsteps approaching.
Minako-san.
My personal attendant. Mid-30s, looks like she walked out of a romance manga, but acts like a disappointed older sister from a soap opera. She'd been with us since I was born, and at this point, I'm 85% sure she's the only reason I'm still alive.
"Kaito-sama," came her voice through the door. "Your math instructor is here."
I lowered the volume, slightly panicked. "I'm busy!"
"Busy doing what?"
"Training my... right brain!"
There was a pause.
"Open this door."
And that's when my life derailed.
Right as she turned the knob, a blinding blue circle lit up under my chair.
"What the—?!"
I barely had time to flinch.
The next moment, gravity disappeared.
My chair disintegrated into glowing dust. The world folded like paper. My heart tried to eject itself from my chest. Then everything turned blue.
Like, completely blue.
I opened my eyes to find myself floating in what looked like a massive translucent orb. No floor. No sky. Just glowing blue all around, like I was stuck inside a magical screensaver.
I panicked, naturally.
Not because I was floating in an interdimensional void.
Not because I had no idea what just happened.
No.
I panicked because my screen was still open.
The exact anime. On full blast. Loud enough to be heard in three prefectures. And Minako-san had walked in just as I vanished.
"She saw it…" I muttered in horror, spinning mid-air. "She SAW IT. I'm going to die again just from the shame."
[System Notice]
Welcome, Kaito Amakusa.
I jumped.
The voice was huge. Not loud, just... there. Like it echoed straight into my bones.
"You have been summoned across space."
"Okay, wait. Time out. First of all—who are you? Second, I didn't agree to any of this, and I was in the middle of something extremely private, you know. Can I go back for like—two minutes? Just to shut the tab?"
Denied.
"What do you mean denied. This is a matter of a man's dignity you know, can't you overlook it just this once"
You have arrived in this realm with your original body intact. No reincarnation was necessary.
"Are you even listening! Oi"
You have been granted two Unique Skills.
I blinked. That actually sounded useful.
"Go on."
First: Yin and Yang.
This skill creates a dual-mind structure. One reflects your current state. The other—your opposite. Intelligent. Strategic. Morally sound.**
"Mhh ...So, an actual functioning version of myself."
Correct. Yin: You. Yang: The version of you that makes good decisions.
"My decisions are not all bad you know."
Subskills include: Thought Acceleration, Parallel Processing, Chant Cancel and All of Creation.
"Those sound like some super amazing skills tho, I've got a bad feeling about this?"
Second: Plunder.
You may steal abilities from enemies you defeat, or significantly weaken.**
"…I swear to God if I get summoned to some fat and obviously suspicious King and Princess and get told to defeat the Demon Lord I'm going to lose it"
Additional traits:
Race: Demon Noble – Human Hybrid Resistances: Fire (Medium), Lightning (Low), Wind (Low), Physical (Mid), Bleed (Low), Holy (Low) Immunities: Poison, Charm, Dark Attribute
"Wait. Demon Noble?"
Correct. You possess noble demonic lineage. Further details classified.
"…Eh, i though I didn't reincarnate, whats this about Demon Lineage, I'm human you know. Oi answer me"
Preparing transfer to designated location.
"Already?! Can I get a sword or at least a starter pack?!"
No answer.
The space around me bent again, like a ripple through glass.
I barely managed to yell "I SWEAR I WASN'T WATCHING THAT FOR THE PLOT!" before the world dropped me straight into darkness.
When I woke up, my face was pressed against something cold, wet, and slimy.
A cave.
A real one this time. Dark. Rocky. Some glowing moss on the walls. And the faint sound of... something breathing deeper inside.
"Oh fantastic," I muttered, pushing myself to my feet. "The starter dungeon. Because of course."
I checked my hands. Still human. No claws, no horns. My clothes were definitely not for a fantasy world, I'm 100% sure these will make me stick out.
My body felt… different. Like someone had turned off gravity's rudeness. No joint pain. No stiffness. Every movement felt sharp and fluid, like a sword still humming from being forged.
I took a deep breath.
"Alright. New world. New life. New chance to prove I'm not completely useless."
Observation activated. Scanning surroundings.
"Ah, there you are, Yang. Was wondering when you'd chime in."
You're currently in the deepest level of this cave. Hostilities incude serpents, boss slimes, drakes, centipedes and more.
"Eh, what do you mean the lowest level. This is a joke right. Was I summoned just so I can die."