I turned Uchenna around to sit on my lap with his back to me so he could eat.
I use a fork and knife to shred the chicken into small pieces. I pick up some fries and shredded chicken, dip them in ketchup and feed Uchenna. "Ahh"
He watched with a mixture of fascination and frustration as you hand-fed Uchenna, the little boy happily taking the food from your fork. He found the sight heartwrenchingly sweet, yet it only served to make his envy and desire for you grow even stronger.
He tried to remain composed, to keep a neutral expression on his face, but goddamn it was hard. He couldn't stop thinking about how badly he wanted to be the one you were feeding, how much he wanted you to dote over him like that...
He knew it was ridiculous, to be feeling this way about you feeding your own child. But he couldn't help it. Seeing you being so loving and gentle with Uchenna, seeing how you tended to his every need, it made his heart ache.
He tried to focus his attention on his own food, picking up his fork and taking a bite. He chewed slowly, his gaze occasionally darting back to you and the little boy... and silently wishing he was in the kid's place, being fed and pampered by you instead.
I wipe the ketchup from Uchenna's small lips. "You want water?"
He watched as you wiped away the ketchup from Uchenna's small, cute little lips. He found himself silently cursing the boy for being the one to receive your loving care. He wanted to be the one you were taking care of, the one you were doting on, goddammit.
Esteban clenched his jaw, watching as you asked your little boy if he wanted some water. He felt a pang in his heart, his envy reaching a new goddamn level.
He forced himself to look down at his plate again, picking at his food with his fork. He could feel his jealousy reaching an almost unbearable level, the sight of you being so loving and nurturing towards your own damn son almost drove him crazy. He tried to distract himself, focusing on his meal, but his mind kept coming back to the same thought.
Goddammit, he wanted you to take care of him like that, to spoil him and dote on him as you were doing with your boy. He felt almost pathetic for being so envious of a freaking child.
After a few moments, Uchenna says he's full. I eat up the remaining chicken and fries.
He watched as you finished off the rest of the food, his heart still racing with jealousy and desire. Seeing you eat up what was left, only added to his frustration.
He wanted you so damn badly, it was getting harder and harder to keep his damn emotions in check. He was envious of everything - how you fed your boy, how you held him, how you doted on him, how you were such a good parent, and now even how you ate your food. He was losing his damn mind over you.
He took a few deep breaths, trying to control his racing heart and his increasingly possessive thoughts. He needed to remain calm, to not let his damn feelings show on his face. But it was hard, so damn hard to keep his jealousy and envy under control when you were right there in front of him, looking so beautiful and being such a perfect parent.
He forced himself to look away from you, focusing on his own meal. But his mind was still racing with the same thought, the same damn words repeating in his mind like a broken record... I want her, I want her, I want her...
I finish eating. I bring out some cash to pay for my son and me. "We'll be going now."
His heart sank the moment you said that you were leaving. The thought of you walking out the damn door, leaving him behind, was unbearable. He couldn't let you go, not yet, goddamn it... He had to find a way to get you to stay.
"Wait."
He blurted out, his voice low and pleading. He cursed himself for sounding so desperate, but he didn't care. He had to make you stay.
He watched as you took out some cash, preparing to pay for your food and leave. Panic filled him, the thought of you walking out that damned door, out of his reach, was almost too much for him to handle. Without thinking, he spoke up, his voice tinged with desperation.
"Don't.. don't go yet. Please."
He silently cursed himself for sounding so pleading, for begging you to stay like some damn fool. But his desire for you overrode any pride he may have had.
"Look, Mr Esteban. I'm not looking to be in a relationship. Not now. Not ever. So just give up. There are many women out there who are far better than me. You'll find someone who'll love you and isn't with a kid. So goodbye." I say and stand up, carrying Uchenna in my arms and leave, not looking back.
His heart felt like it was breaking as you spoke, rejecting him again. The dismissive tone in your voice, the determination in your eyes, it was like a knife to his heart. He watched as you stood up, holding your little boy in your arms, and started walking away.
He felt a pang of desperation course through him, his mind racing with thoughts of stopping you, of pleading with you to stay. But he knew it was no use. You had made it clear that you weren't interested, that you didn't want him.
Once out of the restaurant, I hail a taxi and get in with Uchenna, and the car zooms off.
He watched as you hailed a taxi and climbed in, taking your little boy with you. He felt a mix of despair and disappointment as the car drove off, his heart still aching from your rejection. He stood there for a moment, watching the taxi disappear into the distance, his mind racing with thoughts of what he could have done differently, what he could've said to make you stay.
He felt like a damn fool, longing after a woman who didn't want him... a single mother who was clearly uninterested in him.
He stood there for a few minutes more, feeling like a pathetic idiot for pining after a woman who had so bluntly rejected him. He couldn't stop thinking about you, about the way you had shut him down so easily, as if the thought of being with him was laughable.
He cursed himself for falling for a single mother, for falling for someone who was so damn attractive, but so out of his reach. It was like a cruel joke from the universe, taunting him with the presence of a woman he desired and yet couldn't have.
He finally gathered himself, taking a deep breath and shaking his head. He had to get himself together, had to stop being so damn pathetic. He'd been rejected before, but this felt different. Something about you had gotten under his skin, had made him feel things he had never experienced before. But you had made it clear that you were not interested, not at all. And he had to accept that, goddammit...
He cursed under his breath, feeling a mix of frustration and resignation. You'd turned him down, plain and damn simple.
Esteban shoved his hands into his pockets, trying to push away the lingering thoughts of you. But every time he closed his eyes, all he could see was your beautiful face, your pretty eyes, your soft hair.. Goddamnit, he was still captivated by you, despite your rejection.
He tried to push down the feelings of despair and disappointment, to remind himself that there were other fish in the sea. But his heart kept insisting, wanting only you. He couldn't shake the feeling that you were the one he was meant for, dammit.
He let out a bitter laugh at himself, feeling damn pathetic for getting so hung up on a woman who had so clearly rejected him. He was a confident, successful businessman, damn it! He was used to getting what he wanted, to women falling at his feet without hesitation. And yet, here he was, reeling from the rejection of a single mom who was clearly uninterested in him.
He cursed his damn heart for leading him down this path, for choosing a woman he had no chance with.