But apparently, my muttering wasn't as quiet as I'd thought.
"You think you're weak?" His voice carried clearly across the short distance between us.
I opened my eyes to glare at him. "Do you think if I wasn't, you could have thrown me in the water like that?"
Something in his expression shifted, the amusement fading into something softer, more serious. He began moving through the water toward me with slow, deliberate steps.
I stood my ground, tilting my head back to maintain eye contact as he approached.
We ended up standing breath to breath, his towering frame casting a shadow over me while I looked up at him with all the fierce intensity of an angry tigress facing down a larger predator.
The silver in his eyes seemed to shimmer in the morning light as he looked down at me, studying my face with that same focused attention that always made me feel exposed.
"You don't know yet," he said, his voice dropping to a hushed tone that somehow carried more weight than any shout. "You are really so oblivious..."
His hand came up slowly, fingers still wet from the river, and settled against my cheek with surprising gentleness.
The contrast between his calloused palm and the tender way he touched my face made something flutter in my chest—something I wasn't ready to name or understand.
Standing there in the cool river water, with morning sunlight filtering through the trees and his intense gaze holding mine, I felt that strange tug in my heart again.
Stronger this time.
More undeniable.
'What is happening to me?' I thought, even as I found myself leaning slightly into his touch despite every logical reason not to.
His hand remained against my cheek, and slowly—so slowly I almost thought I was imagining it—his silver eyes began to soften.
The hard edges that usually defined his expression melted away, replaced by something raw and unguarded that made my breath catch.
"Do you know," he said, his voice dropping to barely above a whisper, "how weak I feel in front of you?"
The words just caused a blink to my eyes, subtly confused and flabbergasted.
This man—this beast who had torn apart my husband and sister without hesitation, who commanded fear from his own packmates, who could probably level mountains if he chose, and had been considered the only impenetrable defense for the Empire's northern wilderness which they still couldn't capture—was telling me he felt weak.
'Because of me?'
'Was he kidding?'
Maybe it was the morning clarity, the way the cool water had washed away the fog of everything that had happened.
Maybe it was because we were both finally thinking clearly, free from the chaos and overwhelming emotions.
But something had shifted between us... I felt silence due to mostly being numb from emotions, but now even that silence seems not to feel like a void but something I don't know.
I watched, transfixed, as he began to lean closer with his eyes slowly falling from mine to somewhere down.
His throat moved as he swallowed hard, and I could see the internal battle playing out across his scarred features—want warring with restraint, need fighting against control.
When his face drew near enough that I could feel his warm breath mixing with the cool morning air, his eyes fixed on my lips with an intensity that made my stomach churn strangely.
Without thinking, I pursed my lips together, suddenly hyperaware of how they might feel.
'Were they too dry?'
Wait, why did I even care if they were dry?
'What is wrong with me?' I thought desperately, confusion swirling through my mind like morning mist.
His hand on my cheek was so gentle, thumb softly rubbing against my skin in small circles that sent strange shivers down my spine.
The callused pad of his thumb traced along my cheekbone with a tenderness I'd never experienced.
"Am I allowed to kiss you?"
His soft question made me flinch—not from fear, but from the sheer vulnerability in his voice.
My expression cracked, mirroring his own, as I stared up at this impossibly strong man who was looking at me like... like a cat near milk, gazing at its owner for permission.
Helpless. Uncertain. Completely at my mercy despite his overwhelming power.
And strangely, seeing that expression on his face made something twist painfully in my chest. My jaw clenched involuntarily as emotions I didn't want to name bubbled to the surface.
My eyes darted away from his face, unable to hold that vulnerable gaze.
Without conscious decision, my hand found its way into his damp black hair, fingers tangling in the strands.
I wasn't saying yes. But I wasn't saying no either.
"Can a weak woman like me have a chance to reject a beast like you?" I asked, my voice coming out rougher than intended.
The moment the words left my mouth, I saw him flinch as if I'd struck him.
Confusion flashed across his silver eyes, followed quickly by something that looked almost like hurt.
He started to pull back, misreading my response entirely, thinking I was rejecting him.
And that—that made something inside me snap completely.
"My no means yes, you beast head!" I yelled, the words torn from somewhere deep in my chest.
Before he could retreat another inch, my fingers clenched tight in his hair, and I yanked his head down, crushing our lips together with more desperation than finesse.
His silver eyes went wide with shock, and for a heartbeat neither of us moved.
Then everything exploded into sensation and heat and the taste of morning water mixed with something indefinably him.
It was a frozen moment in time, our lips pressed together in a clumsy, forceful collision born of my own chaotic emotions.
The only sounds were the gentle murmur of the river and the frantic pounding of my own heart in my ears.
Then everything shifted.
The surprise in his eyes softened, melting into something deeper, more knowing. His hand, still tangled in my hair, didn't pull away.
Instead, his fingers relaxed, gently cradling the back of my head as if to say, I've got you.
His other hand slid down my side, his calloused palm sending a jolt of heat through my wet clothes before settling firmly on the small of my back.
He pulled me closer, closing the last inch of space between us until my body was flush against the hard, scarred wall of his chest.
The cold river water swirled around our legs, a stark contrast to the fire he was igniting inside me.
And then he kissed me back.
His lips, which had been firm and unmoving, softened against mine, guiding the kiss from something desperate and inexperienced into something impossibly tender.
He tilted his head slightly, a small, simple adjustment that changed everything, making our mouths fit together perfectly, like we'd been made for this moment.
My mind, which had been screaming insults and accusations just moments before, went completely silent.
All the logic, all the self-preservation, all the reasons this was a terrible idea just... dissolved.
My own hands, which had been clenched so tightly in his hair, loosened their grip, my fingers now tracing the shape of his skull, feeling the damp silk of his hair between them.
The kiss deepened, no longer a battle but a slow, soul-stealing exploration.
It wasn't hungry or demanding at first—it was patient, like he was savoring every second... so did I.
It tasted of clean river water, wild earth, and something that was just... him.
A flavor I knew my body would crave from this moment forward. I felt my knees weaken, and I instinctively leaned into him, trusting this beast not to let me fall.
He let out a low, guttural sound against my mouth—a sound of pure, unadulterated need that sent a shiver straight to my core.
It was the sound of a man who had been starved for something he didn't even know he was missing.
And as the kiss grew more intense, his hand moved again, fingers deftly working at the fastenings of my vest.
The fabric parted slowly under his touch, cool air kissing my skin as he eased it open.
I felt the gentle tug, the way his knuckles brushed against my collarbone, sending sparks racing across my nerves.
"Mmh... d-don't." I distanced myself using my forehead to push from his greedy lips, trying to catch mine following a trail of a saliva string.
"Your no means yes... I understand." And he said something I couldn't seem to clarify before my lips got devoured again.
I could have pushed him away, but my fingers seemed to have been stuck in his wet hair, just like how his were in mine.
What was left between us at that moment was just soft sounds I couldn't control nor could he.
"Mmhhhh."