"Ah—!" I winced, my eyes widening the moment he pinched my nipple, feeling a strange shock through my mind after hearing his crude words and such a gesture.
I retreated my head from the lingering kiss, my chest heaving, suspicion blooming in my mind like morning light piercing fog.
This grip... it wasn't like him.
Not the gentle, reverent way he'd touched me before, as if I were something precious and breakable.
No, this was different—bolder, more knowing.
"Who taught you?" I asked softly, my voice trembling not from fear, but from the intensity still thrumming between us.
I knew someone had taught him these things... the way he said those words, which weren't his, nor how he just pinched me.
He blinked, those silver depths flickering with doubt before clearing.
"Vera," he admitted, his tone low and honest, like confessing a secret he'd meant to keep buried under my squinted gaze.
"Vera?!" My exclamation ripped through the steam, eyes widening as I pictured her—the most mature, level-headed woman in the pack, the one I'd thought was above such things.
Heat flushed my cheeks, not just from the water, but from a surge of possessive fire. "I'll kill that woman for tainting my wolf!"
Javrian's brow furrowed, his hand loosening slightly on my breast but not retreating, as if afraid to let go entirely.
The warmth of his palm lingered, a brand against my skin.
"Huh? Kill her, why?" His question would have pissed me off if not for his expression, making me glare.
"She taught you bad things... spill out everything now."
"It's not her fault," he explained, his voice steady but laced with that quiet defensiveness he rarely showed, seeing how I was pissed. "She and others were regularly asking me why I broke up with you. Everyone was there to end it for all—they kept doubting, saying maybe I abandoned you because you couldn't bear my child being human. So I told them... because I'm not good enough as a mate."
'!'
"Wh-what—!?" The words hit me like a warm current, softening the edges of my anger.
I felt my heart swell, that familiar ache blooming in my chest—not pain, but something deeper.
I felt strange, tender warmth and pain at the same time.
"You said that... to protect my image?" My voice was barely a whisper, my back feeling his chest firm like a wall, eyes trembling as I realized that behind that wall he had even diminished his own pride, while I didn't even know what was going on with him when I was under seizures due to those memories.
He placed his chin on my forehead, his hand leaving my jaw as I looked straight ahead, and it moved to caress a strand of my hair, as if he, even being someone of his status, didn't care about pride—especially when I couldn't hear what he did.
Even if he had blamed me, I would have no possibility to know it.
But he defended me even behind my back... at the cost of his dignity?
And he casually stated, rubbing his cheek on the back of my head, "They needed to hear it. To stop questioning you."
Warmth flooded me, melting the last of my suspicion into something softer, more vulnerable.
But curiosity lingered, pulling at me like an undertow. "How did you learn... all this?" I placed mine on his hand still cupping me, tightening his hand more as I felt his hesitation.
He hesitated, his thumb absently stroking the curve of my breast, sending a fresh shiver through me. "She has an enormous library of mating books. Gave them to me, saying she couldn't see her leader's dignity fall."
"You read them?" I asked, my voice catching as I imagined him poring over those pages, alone in the wilderness, trying to understand something as elusive as mating.
I couldn't see, but I felt that he looked away briefly, shame flickering in his eyes before he met my gaze again. "I did. I was weak... like when we first met. Didn't we? So I tried. I read to know... how to satisfy."
The admission hit me like a wave, and suddenly, tears pricked my eyes. I sobbed softly, the sound escaping before I could stop it.
Doubt swirled in my mind as I stood from the water, feeling my butt hitting his face, but whatever, as I turned fully toward him, kneeling higher on his lap, the water sloshing around us.
Now I was on my knees on his lap, seated within water, but I made sure to keep my chest above water to bare my chest to the steam and his gaze.
I grabbed his hand—the one he removed when I turned towards him—and placed it firmly over one breast, feeling the heat of his palm against my racing heart.
"What do we call this?" I asked, my voice trembling, needing to hear it from him, to test how deep the "taint" ran.
He blinked, confusion clouding his silver eyes before he answered honestly. "Boob."
'!'
My eyes widened in horror.
"They really tainted you!" I yelled, the words bursting out as fresh tears spilled down my cheeks.
My pure, wild wolf—corrupted by some filthy books!
He looked equally stricken, his own eyes glistening as water gathered on his face in confusion. "What happened? Luna, I—"
I clasped his face between my hands, forcing him to meet my gaze, my thumbs brushing away the moisture gathering at his lashes. "Tell me the truth. Was that book's author... some male?"
He blinked, nodding slowly. "Yes... they were all males."
"Those women-objectifying, trashy perverts!" I seethed, my eyes squeezing shut in disbelief. "All male authors should die!"
He just stared at me, utterly lost, his hands hovering uncertainly at my sides. "Luna... I don't understand—"
I opened my eyes, my mind racing as pieces clicked together. "It's been how many days since you started reading them?"
He thought for a moment. "Two months."
My eyes twitched.
Two months—the exact time I'd started sending him letters.
The realization hit me like a splash of cold water as my mind started to analyze this.
Before my eyes snapped open, knowing something—I wouldn't have if not for my advanced future self—I murmured, "Were you doing that? Like what we did in the garden regularly?"
"Sorry?" He was confused due to my intensity.
"I can't say that word." I murmured, my hand swiftly dipping into the water between us.
Boldly, without warning, I reached for him, my fingers wrapping around his length beneath the surface.
He was still half-hard, warm and heavy in my palm. I gave a single, deliberate stroke, feeling him flinch beneath my touch.
"Luna—!" He gasped, shocked, his hips jerking involuntarily.
"This," I said firmly, holding his gaze. "Were you doing this?"
My eyes firmly wanting to know what happened to my Beast when I was away...
"Th-that's..." He lowered his head, guilt etching every line of his face. Guilty.
I pressed on, my voice steady despite the heat building in my cheeks. "How many times a day? And why?"
He swallowed hard, his voice barely above a whisper. "It wasn't fixed. While reading the book... it said to impress your mate, you need to hold your ground and not cum fast."
In my mind, I screamed: 'They tainted him!' My eyes closed, shocked that my wolf—my pure, instinctive beast—was using such crude words, corrupted by those disgusting pages.
"So you're saying," I clarified, my voice trembling with a mix of anger and dawning understanding, "you were practicing... to increase your duration on the bed?"
He nodded, his cheeks flushing. "Yes... holding it, increasing my timing."
"Why?" I demanded, though I already suspected.
He turned then, his silver eyes locking onto mine with an intensity that made my breath catch. "Because it said it can make your mate crave you."
The words hung between us, thick with meaning.
My mouth, parted in anger, suddenly softened.
My eyes gentled as I gazed at him—this man who'd spent months alone, poring over books, training himself... all for me.
All to be better for me.
Even knowing we might never meet again...
'Then why you never...' I wanted to ask why he never came in that future I know, just kept protecting me from the background, to tell me or...
But again, it was all my fault.
"Ha... my beast," I sighed, the words escaping on a breath of affection, my heart melting like wax under flame.
"You know what?" I continued, shifting closer, the water rippling around us as I straddled his lap more fully, uncaring as my breast touched his face, slowly descending down.
"Javrian... let me tell you a secret that even I learned after meeting you... something that is going to live just between us." My hands framed his face, thumbs tracing his scars as I leaned in, our foreheads touching. "Sometimes, a woman can grow wet simply from hearing the man she loves speak."
His eyes widened, and with a smile, so close that I could hear his breath, I said, "So, Mr. Husband, say that word... the one that can make me crave you."
"Haah." He took a breath, looking at me as his eyes softened, slowly leaning as my eyes settled on his lips, but he dodged and moved towards my ears, arriving before he said while nibbling on them, "I don't know if you will crave me, but... I am burning to tell you, you are mine and I am yours... My Dear Wife."
badump
And then I realized, I might have just given him the cheat I shouldn't have, as I lost.
And as if trying to prove it, my hand grabbed his, my face resting on his shoulder with my eyes shut. I was defeated, guiding his fingers between my thighs to tell him... I am really craving him now.