Yes, as it turned out a little later, he really did die. This news was on the front pages of all the newspapers. In this universe, Peter Parker, aged twenty-five, was a very popular and wealthy guy who did not shy away from making money on his heroism and exploits. Comics and TV series about his adventures, as I understood, slightly edited, but based on real events, plus all sorts of souvenir stuff and even a brand of ice cream, albeit an unusually creepy one. He was survived by his beloved aunt, an inconsolable widow and murky circumstances of death. And something told me that he failed his "last case", which is why I ended up here. How exactly? Who would know. There were a lot of options. Something could have gone wrong during the battle, or it was a "side effect" from the use of some superweapon, or something else. This is Marvel anyway, albeit a "cartoon" one, which means any kind of crazy thing is possible here. And besides...
- Fsh-h-h, - a strange rainbow ripple pierced my body, striking my nerves with pain for a moment. Not fatal, but very unpleasant. And this was not the first time during the initial study of the surrounding world.
Through subsequent examination and measurements of the physical-magical field "on the knee", it turned out that my cellular structure is not suitable for this universe. For it, I was a foreign element, and therefore it is trying to "dissolve" me, something like the immune system's reaction to "illegal" bacteria and viruses that have entered the body. And there is a suspicion that the more time passes of my stay in this universe, the more effectively this universe will react to the intruder and get rid of him. However, what kind of God of Deception would I be if I could not deceive anyone and anything? Unfortunately, a simple illusion will not get you far here, but everyone has their own talents. The gift of "shapeshifting", that is, changing appearance to an animal form, was possessed by many aces, however, it was of little use, because the animal you turned into could not adopt the properties of your armor and weapons, making you, in fact, more vulnerable, but in some cases the skill was useful. Well, Loki, as a recognized Lord of Magic, of course, owned this direction much better than many, it is the same transformation, just of yourself, and not of objects. His favorite form, by the way, was a giant snake. Yes, yes, that same famous Jormungand, which all sorts of Scandinavians and other Nordic Germans were scared to death of, it was Loki in disguise. And because there is no point in spreading dirty rumors! But it is not important. So, close your eyes, catch the "wave", an effort of will, and ... I change a little, while remaining the same. Except for the fact that now I looked "drawn" too. And that was funny.
However, despite the fact that my dream of escaping the Marvel Cinematic Universe had sort of come true, I wasn't planning on staying there for long - I had Yuriko, Battle Hamster, and the uncorrupted Storm there. That's in addition to all the friends, buddies, prodigal relatives, a crowd of brats and other ice giants that I was supposed to lead on an interplanetary robbery raid. I hated abandoning them all without warning. Besides, I couldn't just give up the opportunity to pathetically send the Evil Army on a conquest! My oldfag heart couldn't handle such a loss! I had to try at least once, because I've been a villain for a thousand years and I've never done anything like that. Shame!
The emotion that came from Gungnir expressed full support and approval of my plans. The spear wanted to dominate and humiliate, and to be washed in more blood of enemies, and most importantly - for everyone to see how awesome it is, like the battle is over, everyone around is with their noses in humus in front of the King carrying it, and it sparkles...
Ahem... Anyway, I had to finish my business first, and in general it's better to move consciously, not by chance. And if that's the case, then there's no point in wasting time - it's not a fact that this whole story started with Parker, but as a starting point he's no worse than the others. So, first of all, let's go to his house. Fortunately, I know where he lived in my world, and here, since he's so popular, where he and his friends and family lived should be well known...
***
In the end, it turned out even simpler. On the occasion of Spider-Man's death, his widow gave a press conference, about which every teapot on every corner was screaming. By the way, there really were a lot of "teapots", in the sense of all sorts of large film projectors playing news on the walls of houses, and simply smartphones with touch screens in the hands of people. A lot in comparison with my New York. But I only noted this on the edge of my consciousness, more concerned with the question of the wisdom of organizing this spectacle. Is it true that I know about their relationship? And, on the other hand, as I understood, Peter was a rather weighty person here. And therefore it is better to really control and direct "public opinion" regarding his death than to allow all sorts of conspiracy theorists, universalists and other vultures who want, as they say now, to "hype" on a hot topic.
So, having safely reached the place, I made my way through the crowd closer to the stage and calmly listened to the standard speech about the virtues of the deceased and the magnitude of the loss for the city and the world, after which I followed the red-haired lady to her house. By the way, Mary Jane from this "cartoon" was not exactly beautiful, even despite the bonus from the "drawing". She was not ugly in any way, but she lost to her image from the cartoon series of the nineties on all fronts, and she was clearly not up to the role of a top model-actress, which the classic Mary Jane should be. Just an average-looking adult woman with fiery red hair. And it was a bit strange, because it would be fine if it were the Cinematic Universe — I had already gotten used to the fact that that universe was based on the feminist complexes of ugly but loud fools who demanded that both films and games had "real women" (but in reality — scary crocodiles, so that these fools would stand out against their background), as if all the beautiful actresses and pretty girls were not real, but were cyborgs from a factory who had no right to vote. But that was the strange thing! This world was definitely not like that, and in my not-so-long stay in it, I managed to see that you could meet beautiful girls here without any problems right on the street. They were still a minority, but, damn it, here every seventh girl could rightfully be called beautiful, and not just two or three in the entire universe!
How long have I dreamed of this!.. There is something to lay eyes on here! And not just eyes! My hands just reach out, reach out! But the blacks here were clearly "drawn" at random - such monsters would give even the inhabitants of the Cinematic Universe a run for their money.
But I digress, and meanwhile the fact that with such input that same Mary Jane, who is almost the main sex symbol of the Spider-Man story (Black Cat above the rating!), was clearly not in the TOP here, really looked strange. And no, I can distinguish the signs that a lady is grief-stricken and therefore does not look her best, from the fact that she does not look her best in life, in the sense of not being a sex symbol of the universe. And this led to the thought that feminists had a hand in this universe. That's right, it's all them - hysterical fatties from Twitch and other gender-undefined freaks who really don't give a damn about anyone except themselves, but they hide behind noble slogans. And they strive to discredit the bright images in the hearts of real men that we have endured since childhood!
Someday I will definitely return to my home world and kill all the people!.. Hmm...
Interuniversal travel has a strange effect on me - I'm thinking again about how to dig a shipping canal between Mexico and Canada because of the insult to my aesthetic feelings, and I almost don't see anything inadequate in it anymore. Something needs to be done about it, otherwise I really, as soon as I find a way to travel between universes, will come back and kill everyone - I've already thought up so many ways...
MJ, meanwhile, said goodbye to all the officials and those who simply wished her condolences, got into the car and, a few minutes later, successfully reached an apartment building in a fairly decent area. There, too, no incidents occurred: the girl entered, closed the door, took off her shoes and outerwear, then, having washed off her makeup, sat down in a chair. A photo of Parker and a bottle of wine were placed on the coffee table nearby. With a heavy sigh, the woman opened the container of alcohol and began to pour herself a drink.
"I apologize for interrupting your husband's funeral, but I need to talk to you," I drop the illusion, revealing my location on the neighboring chair.
"You… who are you?" MJ shuddered, but quickly pulled herself together. She didn't scream, panic, or become aggressive, although fear was clearly evident in her voice.
- My story will seem strange, but as the wife of Spider-Man, you should have already gotten used to all sorts of strangeness and, I hope, will take me seriously, - a cautious nod. - Basically, I came from a parallel universe. More precisely, I was pulled out by some portal while studying Peter Parker's blood.
- Blood studies? - the girl frowned, somehow immediately believing my words. Well, experience is evident.
"Yes," I shrug, reflexively twirling my cane between my fingers, "I work as a teacher at a school for 'gifted children' and I studied the data of my potential student.
– My husband is already somewhat beyond school age...
- For you, yes. But for us, Peter Parker is only eight, he hasn't become Spider-Man yet, and it's not a fact that he will.
- Wait a minute, - the girl's frown increased, and she herself became even more tense, - you don't seem surprised by the fact that Peter is Spider-Man, it seems like you've known this for a long time, and yet you yourself just said that he is still a child. And by the way, polite people introduce themselves at the beginning of a conversation!
– Bravo, Mrs. Parker, bravo, – she may not be a beauty by my standards, but she is definitely smart! – But don't worry so much, it's all quite prosaic. The fact is that for me the existence of parallel realities is no secret. Some worlds are as alike as two peas in a pod, while others are as different as day and night. The difference in time, political structure, good and evil, even the laws of physics. All this really exists. And it so happened that I am aware of a number of events in other realities relative to my world. Somewhere my knowledge is broader, somewhere more fragmentary, but I know who Spider-Man is and that in most realities he goes by the name Peter Parker. However, I also know that there is at least one where you acquire Spider-Man's power. As for my name… I am Loki. God of Magic.
- Seriously? The real God? - She raised an eyebrow. In response, I created an illusion of purple flame on the table, which turned into a flower, which, after standing for a while, crumbled into ice crystals and melted into the air.
- Something like that.
- Okay... - she glanced sideways at her glass of wine and emptied the container in two gulps, - let's say. But what do you need from me?
"It's all about my arrival," I told the girl. "It happened when I came into contact with Peter's blood, and the first thing I learned about the new world was that Spider-Man had just died here under some very mysterious circumstances connected with equally mysterious earthquakes. And since I have no other leads, I can only suspect that my appearance here is somehow connected with your husband's last case. That's why I wanted to ask, what exactly was he doing before his death?"
"I'm afraid I can't help you here," she sighed, "Pete tried not to involve me in his 'work', he said that it would only make me nervous and worry me for no reason…"
"Bad…" I leaned back in my chair, anxiously fingering the shaft of my cane. The thread had led to a dead end. Now I had to look for Spider's other contacts, some Dr. Connors or who else he had, of those he at least partially dedicated to his affairs? Black Cat? In general, finding Felicia Hardy is a good idea, though only if she's here at all and hasn't run off somewhere with some Morbius…
"But Aunt May might know!" MJ said excitedly, for whom my thoughts had clearly taken up a very insignificant period of time.
- Aunt May? - I raised an eyebrow. This grandmother-dandelion of God, who stood behind the platform the entire press conference without saying a single word? If Parker didn't want to involve his woman in all this, then he certainly wouldn't have done it with his beloved elderly aunt.
- Yes, after Uncle Ben died, Peter told her everything, and she decided to help him. Even his "Spider Base" is in her tool shed.
- Ahem... okay, - a spider base? Seriously? And Granny the Helper? This world knows how to come up with original solutions. - Well, then I'll visit her. Thank you very much.
"I'll go with you!" the girl declared, rising from her chair.
"Why?" I raise an eyebrow, stopping my own impulse to rise in its infancy.
- Someone killed my husband. I used to realize that I couldn't do anything about it, but now that there is hope, I have no right to stand aside!
- As an Asgardian God, I approve of your impulse. Seriously, revenge for a loved one is noble and worthy. Only this is what someone with pride and true feelings should do, but I must warn you...
"I'm not afraid of danger! I've survived more than thirty assassination attempts in the last two years!" the red-haired lady flared up and even blushed, which made her look much prettier.
"That's not what I'm talking about," I shake my head briefly. "You just have to understand that I'm not a superhero like your husband was. Of course, I'm not a savage and I understand the realities of modern times, but if it's serious, I won't hold back for the sake of legality and procedure. And it is serious – it's not every day that something can pull God out of his own universe and kill Spider-Man. And no, I'm not trying to dissuade you, all I want is to avoid misunderstandings when you expected one thing and I behaved differently.
"There's no need to talk about misunderstandings," Mary Jane said, looking me firmly in the eyes. "You're talking to a woman who just lost her husband, Loki."
"Okay," I really wasn't going to argue, or put the lady to sleep either. And why would I refuse the company of someone who knows their way around this world and is motivated to help me?
And so, twenty minutes later in MJ's car, we drove up to a small modest house, on the path in front of which a whole memorial had already been laid out with candles, lamps and flowers. And a few sad... hmm. What should I call them? Not onlookers, of course... Mourners? Yes, a certain number of grieving townspeople.
Parker's wife parked the car, without thinking twice, went to the poor old lady's house and pressed the doorbell.
- Look, this is all nice, of course, and I appreciate it, but how much longer can this go on? - with these exact words the door swung open, and we were met by the "granny-dandelion"... with a baseball bat at the ready and... is it just me or are there really traces of something red on her?
- Aunt May...
- Oh, Mary, I'm sorry, - the bat was put away in the corner, - it's just that these fans expressing regret and grief... are annoying. But what am I holding on the threshold, come in! And who is that with you? - the woman stepped aside and let him pass.
- It's... sort of...
"Peter Parker, who came to us from a parallel universe?" the elderly woman asked casually. "And the first thing he did was go to you..." Now there were strange notes in her voice, something like a slight discontent combined with relief. "And he's normal..."
- Ahem, - I cleared my throat, mentally doubling down on the thesis about the originality of the twists in this universe, - and I like you, Mrs. Parker. But no, I'm not Peter, I'm just a passing God who got sucked into a space-time rift due to an anomaly in your universe. And I just wanted to find out what's going on here.
"Oh, I see…" the elderly woman was embarrassed, "I beg your pardon."
- It's nothing, it's just a work matter.
"Um, Aunt May. Don't you think this is weird?" the redhead asked cautiously.
"Well, Peter has had all sorts of strange things happen to him before, I've seen so many things over the years, and besides…" the woman sighed, "this is already the fourth."
- What? The fourth God? - the girl didn't understand, and I must admit, neither did I. In general, this whole thing left a strange feeling in my stomach - something between a tickle and the feeling that you've sat on a firecracker that's already lit. Not that I've ever sat on a firecracker before, but for some reason I was sure that this was it.
- No, - the old lady shook her head, - the fourth guest from another universe that has come to my doorstep this day. Let's go... - but then the doorbell rang again. - Oh, if it's the fans again, I'll definitely hit one of them! Please wait a minute! - and the old lady left the room where she had managed to lead us, back to the hallway.
- Well, yes, a feisty granny.
"Well," smiled young Mrs. Parker, "she raised a boy who, as a hobby, jumped off the roofs of skyscrapers and punched big guys in the face…"
"But really..." I looked after the pensioner with a new feeling.
We'll have to keep an eye on our variation of Aunt May, maybe she's the same? She'd be an ideal teacher for a younger group at school! Although no, she's only a little over twenty, and they don't have nearly the ability to educate. And anyway, we have the Cinematic Universe, and in it Peter is not a Genius or a Hero with capital letters, but a juvenile moron with superpowers, all of whose canonical genius and technical savvy have passed to his fat friend, whose main purpose of existence in the plot is to fulfill the quota for fatties and geeks. Yes, Cinematic Universe, I despise and hate you even from here! Even when I talk to a drawn Mary Jane in Aunt May's house with a baseball bat! Yes, you're that much of a loser, just know it!
- Oh, and they don't understand how out of place they are, - the hostess of the house returned to us, shaking her head. - Let's go - I'll introduce you to the others.
Silently nodding, we followed Spider-Man's aunt and soon came out into the backyard, where in the corner by the fence stood an old shabby shed with a padlock. They led us straight to it, and then May inserted the key into the lock, and ... the lopsided wooden structure for garden tools suddenly turned out to be a high-tech device, clearly far from banal mechanics. But if I fully appreciated the optical illusion based on the technical principle, then why it was necessary to launch a futuristic backlight with the spider logo on a real door made of metal, not wood, escaped me. The lines flashing with radiance looked beautiful and even, perhaps, pompous, but they clearly did not carry a functional meaning. The real door of the structure simply opened, revealing a view of the elevator cabin, or rather, a platform without walls, and this did not require any futuristic technology. Nevertheless, I considered it unnecessary to speak out on this matter and disciplinedly stepped inside after the ladies. The platform began to descend, and various motorcycles-cars-airplanes, located along the walls of the man-made underground cavity, began to be illuminated for us.
- Mmm, awesome Batcave cosplay, - I had to admit. This Spider-Man definitely had good taste. And a couple of extra million bucks. And I wasn't kidding about the cosplay, there was even a wall with costumes under glass, like in the "original". Except the costumes weren't Batman's, but Spider-Man's.
"Oh, you're the first one to guess!" the combative pensioner looked at me with respect as the platform went down.
- Why so?
– The last Batman comic came out somewhere in 1978, and then the whole superhero theme was closed, almost, until 1911, all that was left were the adventures of Captain America in pictures, – the granny shrugged. – We still have a small collection of my husband's comics in the attic, so Peter read them as a child, but his peers no longer remembered heroes like Batman, and there's nothing to say about today's youth – they only have modern heroes in their heads, like Pete and Iron Man.
- I see... - by the way, I don't remember a lot of comics in our school, but children should love such things, especially children with superpowers...
"Welcome!" Aunt May nodded to us as the platform reached the floor. "Get settled in, and I'll go and see how my meat pie is doing," and the old lady, having waited until we got off the platform, quickly rushed up.
As soon as the militant pensioner left the room, a young but "mysterious" voice called out to us from above.
- Greetings! - the guy in the heavy leather coat-cloak... um, the black and white guy in the spider suit raised his hat. The coat fluttered in the wind. In the basement. No drafts.
- Noirish, - I noted with respect. This guy clearly knew what Style and Old School were.
- Konichiwa! - greeted after the "noir" Spider... um... a cute girl with a huge robot spider. A cute girl whose "drawing" was like in a 90s anime, give or take. As well as a "heroic appearance", no, seriously. There was a strobe light, lighting effects, pink hearts in the air under the "victory" sign by the eye and "cool moves" performed by the girl and the robot. Grendizer approves!*(1)
"It's amazing," I lean closer to the girl, studying this miracle with all my eyes.
Her body was realistically material, not much different from the surrounding drawn reality, but the proportions of the head, facial features, hair and clothes - all this was executed in the canons of anime. Starting from the huge brown eyes on half the face and "indistinguishable" at a glance individual hairs in the short-cropped black hair, ending with the "schematic" image of the nose, lips and at least some folds on the skin, although all this took place, just without shadows, that is, "contours" of the object. In front of me was a 100% anime, but not a flat 2D picture, but a completely three-dimensional and absolutely alive and real.
- What's wrong? - the girl frowned in response to my intense gaze. She, by the way, was also dressed in something very reminiscent of a school uniform with a tie under a shiny jumper and a plaid skirt above the knees. Well, and a green school backpack on her shoulders was also in place.
- A real anime girl... - I shook my head, seeing no point in hiding my feelings. - Excuse me, my request may seem not entirely adequate, and most likely it is, but can I pat you on the head? I've dreamed of this my whole life!
- Are you a pervert or something? - the schoolgirl stepped back, with obvious suspicion, but without any particular hysteria or fear.
- No, I am exclusively for grown-up ladies, but you simply cannot imagine how much tenderness you evoke in my heart with your appearance. So, can I? - my intonation itself became almost pleading, and with my eyes I tried to give out thirteen "cats from Shrek" out of ten possible.
"Okay then," the girl allowed, looking at me suspiciously and calculating something in her mind. "Just not for long," and proudly folded her arms across her chest.
"Kava-a-ay," I carefully and with all due respect for the solemnity of the moment place my hand on her head.
And to the touch, individual hairs can be felt... And also... The feeling... Strange. As if I am touching another change, but not its energy, as with the Stark reactor, but its space... the laws of being and even a drop of essence.
The world around me was already unfamiliar to me in terms of sensations. If in Asgard and on Earth I didn't really pay attention to my feelings of the world and space, because they were something familiar and didn't affect my consciousness, then in this world I constantly experienced a certain… not exactly discomfort, but, let's say, something like the sensation of brand new shoes. But the feeling of unfamiliarity from this universe was nothing compared to the feelings that washed over me upon contact with this girl. I was standing in an unfamiliar universe and literally touching with my hand a fragment of an even more unfamiliar universe for my entire nature, and it was… A very strange feeling.
- Hello! - I was distracted from the process of learning by the last to come down... uh... pig in a Spiderman costume. Correction, a kind of cartoonish pig in the style of early Disney, when the head is two torsos, the snout is half the head, and the rest of the body is an "oval man" with "hands-hooks, legs-squiggles". And yes, it was upright. And it simply saluted us.
- Oh, - I take my hand off the girl's head, her cheeks desperately turning pink while stroking her, but stubbornly keeping an expression of stern pride on her face. - I think I won't be wrong if I say that the most dangerous one here is you. Judging by your appearance, you should have an ult in the form of dropping an anvil weighing ten tons on the enemy's head out of nowhere, and also a wooden hammer three times your height that fits in your pocket.
"Loki…" MJ closed her eyes, previously also impressed by the sight of her new acquaintances, "these aren't cartoons after all!"
- Eh-eh-eh, no, man, you're flattering me!.. - the pig objected in the voice of a smoke-stained veteran of the plumbing service.
- Here! - the girl felt the solid ground under her feet, turning to me.
"I can only do one ton for now, but I'm working on it," the creepy little guy finished his thought. He was about knee-high to me and up to the anime girl's waist. Yes, she was small too – a centimeter or two smaller than Laura. "Spider-Pig! Let's get acquainted! I was bitten by a radioactive pig, and I became a superhero," and he extended his hand to me, which I shook without hesitation.
- Loki. Just God... Wait a minute, a pig? Not a spider?
"No," he waved it off, "I was originally a spider, I could cling to almost any surface and weave a web, and a pig bite gave me Super Pig Powers!"
- Hmm... I know I might regret this, but what exactly?
- Well, you already know about the anvil and the hammer from somewhere. I can also fly, guided by the smell of pie!
"O-okay…" I turned to the others, firmly deciding to first gather information, and only then try to comprehend and accept it all. "And you?"
- Peter Parker from 1933. Private detective. I like to drink Egg Grimm and fight Nazis, - introduced himself the black and white Spiderman in a leather coat over a suit... flapping the folds of the coat as if in the wind. And he smelled of rain. Damn, what a stylish devil!
"Nice to meet you," he also shook hands.
- Penny Parker. I'm from the year 3145. I have a mental connection with the spider that lives in my father's robot, we're best friends forever! - She stroked the steel colossus, which in response launched a bunch of hearts across the display located on top. How interesting... It seems that my theory about Peter's innate powers has just received, albeit indirectly, yet another confirmation. Psionics...
Okay, so what, a robot, well, it's controlled by a spider, who, in theory, doesn't have enough brain capacity even to be aware of itself. After all, this girl came from a 90s anime, where even worse things happened. And anyway, maybe he's just a "mediator" for the girl herself, a kind of support and crutch for better psychological comfort when controlling the robot through a telepathic interface...
- And you, my friend, - Noir-Spider turned to me again, - what kind of Spider will you be? You said something about God, but I didn't quite understand.
- I'm not Spider, I'm just a God from Asgard. In my world, I work part-time as a teacher at a school for mutants, researching the nature of mutation as a hobby. It was while researching Peter Parker's blood that I got sucked into you. By the way, has anyone already managed to find out what's going on here?
"In a way," the detective answered. "It's all about him." He walked over to a transparent "board" on which were pasted half a dozen photographs, between which someone had drawn lines of connections and contacts. And in the center of it all was a portrait of… um…
- A steroid-fueled bun? - I was, of course, a little suspicious when I saw that, um... face, but hey, why not? The bun, judging by that photo, was also quite likely, I would even say, could be considered a priority suspect.
"That's William 'Big Man' Fisk," MJ replied. "Peter has crossed paths with him on numerous occasions and foiled his plans. But unfortunately, he was never able to gather evidence of his involvement in the criminal world, and so, with his connections and lawyers, he always got away with it.
"Oh, I'd shoot him myself and be done with it," sighed Noir-Spider.
Oh Great Powers, is this really an adequate Peter Parker, who doesn't bother with such nonsense as "official justice", but simply knocks out his enemies on the spot?..
- Damn, the thirties were so glorious! - I sighed.
"Not in everything, my friend, not in everything," he replied, pompously adjusting his hat and turning his "back to the wind."
But the girl-magician... I mean, the girl with the robot, was against such radical measures. And in general, justice, fairness and the Magic of Friendship. The pig didn't care, he somehow smelled May Parker's pie and literally started to float! Ahem... yeah, this company is even crazier than me!
But be that as it may, it was clear where to dig. There was only one question left - go and knock all the information out of Fisk or first try to rummage through the local St. Petersburg databases? Maybe I'll find something interesting. Considering that we have a real passage between universes here, I'm VERY interested in this technology, and I'd like to know where it is. Oh yeah, I'm also very interested in why all this stuff with a cloak fluttering in the wind and levitation by smell even works. We need to research! We need more experiments! The main thing is to convince the subjects that this is how it is, yes, I mean that they want, they're really eager to give themselves up to me for experiments. Yes, I definitely know what I'll do tonight!
The easiest part remains - to start and finish. And-and... since it would not be a good idea to immediately invite new acquaintances to lie down on the lab table, we will start with point number "one". Specifically, with looking through the databases of the late Spider himself. Peter was clearly a savvy guy here, and therefore would not have gone anywhere without intelligence, and, as it was easy to guess, his noir double was only studying the scheme with the "steroid bun", and it was the Parker of this universe who compiled it. That is, there was clearly an intelligence operation carried out. And I would like to take a closer look at its results. Well, let's get started.
- So, Mrs. Parker, do you by any chance know the login and password for your husband's system?
"No, I'm sorry," Mary Jane shook her head. "As I said, Peter tried to keep me out of his business."
"And this nice old lady?" the black-and-white detective inquired.
- Aunt May? - the girl thought. - Perhaps...
- Let me clarify-oink! - Pig recited and instantly soared even higher, almost in the best traditions of Superman. Well, something tells me that he is more interested in the pie than in logging into the system.
- Have you tried to turn on the computer yourself? - After watching the one who flew away, I turn to the remaining Parkers from parallel realities.
"This device is unknown to me," Noir Spider said dramatically.
"My passwords don't work," the anime girl shook her head, and a sad and guilty smiley appeared on the display-face of her robot.
- I see... Then we'll wait.
Our "colleague in the hit" was absent for about ten minutes, during which time I allowed myself to be a tourist and take a good look around. Pig returned not alone, but with a combat pensioner armed with a cart, on which was a huge pie, plates, knives and forks and a decanter with fruit drink or something like that.
- And I brought you something to eat, otherwise, I bet, you never ate properly, - the old woman glanced reproachfully at the red-haired beauty. Very briefly and clearly not wanting her to notice, but I did. - I fed Peter so often, otherwise, with his work, he always forgot to eat, - the old woman sighed, in whose voice there was melancholy and an unpleasant note of failing nerves, she even turned away slightly, obviously to hide the emerging tears.
Mary Jane immediately rushed to the woman and tried to cheer her up, but my experience of two lives told me that we were much more likely to end up with a collective cry. It was understandable, but completely out of place now. Besides, strange associations about Alfred losing his Bruce Wayne were creeping into my head. So, we'll distract her.
- Thank you, but let me try your wonderful dish a little later, and now... do you by any chance know the password to Mr. Parker's computer?
"No," Aunt May shook her head. "I'm just a weak woman, after all, and this information, as Peter said, could cause me a lot of trouble. I can only help with some equipment in the cave - fix the suit, repair the shooters and the like, and Peter kept all the important information inaccessible to outsiders.
- Logical, - damn, it looks like the local Pautinych was an adequate guy. - Then we'll go the other way. We'll break it.
"I've already thought about it," the Unusual Japanese Schoolgirl said. "The terminal is primitive, of course, but it could have installed a number of protections, including deleting data and physically destroying the media, so I wouldn't recommend brute force."
"Of course," I nodded. "I think I'll start with the rainbow tables."
- Oh! - the girl perked up. - You know your stuff! But how are you going to pull out the hashes? And I would still pull out the hard drives first and check them for physical killers.
- We'll do it, - I liked this girl more and more. - Actually, the easiest way is to connect the hard drives to the new system, and then through the "ghost" get to the tables and crack it by enumerating and dumping the memory.
"I still don't understand how you want to get the tables, what kind of 'ghost' is this?" she frowned comically.
- Oh, one useful gadget, to log in you need a password, but how does the machine know that it is correct?
– By accessing the password hash, the tables, but this is an internal system operation, which is completely inaccessible when the system is closed.
– This is where the "ghost" is needed – it allows you to catch the memory area that the system is accessing at that moment and copies it. There will be a lot of garbage there, of course, but then you can brute force it with a dump, fortunately you can also track where unsuccessful attempts are registered.
- And if we cut off the excess with "Spider"...
- No, the local Parker was clearly capable of high technology, and therefore should have avoided obvious hacking methods, and therefore the "spider" algorithms can just cut off the correct key.
"Do you understand what language they communicate in?" Noir-Spider quietly asked his pig colleague.
- In my world, computers are the size of a cabinet and use punch cards. I only understood prepositions from their speech, and not even all of them.
- It's the same situation... Although no, it seems like they will still be able to obtain the necessary data.
- Yes…
"It won't work anyway," Penny slumped her shoulders. "I can connect to the local equipment via a robot, but I don't have the necessary programs and algorithms. Architecture and software are all too different. In my world, silicon semiconductors are only taught in history classes."
"You're wrong," I snapped my fingers theatrically, and Spider's systems beeped in greeting and started up. "I'm done," I smiled charmingly at the girl.
- Uh-uh... how? - the anime girl amusingly brought her eyes together, and even the characteristic "drop" appeared on her, and around the figure such a... spiral background formed, as if illustrating bewilderment.
– Exactly as we discussed: physical separation of hard drives, password selection, reconnection of the system.
- B-but... we haven't even unscrewed the system unit yet! - sounded with a funny mixture of timidity, delight and indignation.
- Hey! - I pretended to be offended. - I am the God of Magic! I was assembling quantum computers atomically when people still wore skins!
- What does magic have to do with quantum computers? - Penny's bewilderment grew, reflected on the sensor glass of her robot, where large question marks appeared in the eyes of the "smiley". And MJ, who was present here, also raised an eyebrow in bewilderment.
– I don't know how it was in your worlds, but in mine, all the confusion is based on the fact that primitive people, having heard the term "magic", endowed it with exclusively mystical properties, having invented technology and science as a counterweight to it, although initially magic is a concept meaning all areas of applied knowledge. Just keep in mind that for the Gods, mystical energies are as familiar and controllable as ordinary stones or sand are for you, that is, at the level of perception, there is no fundamental difference between mysticism and physics for us, and we do not endow mysticism with some kind of "wow-effect". So if you translate my title by meaning, I am the God of Science, Technology, Invention, it's just that purely mystical manifestations in all this also participate among the inhabitants of Asgard, as a natural and ordinary element.
"Deus ex machina!" exclaimed the noir private detective.
- Well, yes, something like that, - I confirmed, but before I could even finish the sentence, my colleagues in the forced transfer to another universe were all "shot" by the rainbow glow that was already familiar to me. Well, that was a problem - I wasn't the only one suffering from "digestion of atoms", and the Spiders were breaking down just as much, even more so, considering that they couldn't resist the process of their "dissolution" by the local world. Okay, if I couldn't completely stop this process, then I could certainly stop it a little.
"Oh, how it twists," complained Pig. "Almost as painful as when another of that crazy mouse's crazy mechanisms hit me."
"Who are you talking about?" the detective asked.
- Yes, we have one rodent. He is a genius, but an idiot.
- Not Tony Stark by any chance? - I clarify, because the definition is too familiar.
"That's him," the superhero with the snout sighed.
"Hmm, no, I don't know about that," Noir-Spider shook his head, "although I've heard of a certain Howard Stark."
"Tony is his son," the pig explained.
"Howard has a son?" Parker of 1933 was surprised.
- Well, maybe it will be, - I shrug. - Anyway, enough talking. Let me correct you, otherwise we still have to dig around in the local St. Petersburg databases.
- What do you mean, "correct"? - a Japanese schoolgirl glanced at me suspiciously, clearly tensing up at the realization of a situation on the level of "some scientist wants to correct something in her."
- You do not belong to this reality, you are incompatible with it. And, like any other foreign body, you are pushed out, or rather, "digested" by the local continuum. And the longer you stay here, the faster you will dissolve, eventually completely disintegrating.
"I see you don't have that problem, my friend?" Noir-Spider stated the fact rather than asked.
- Well, I am the God of Magic and Deception after all. I just changed my body a little to fit the parameters of this universe and be at home here, but in general, I should look like this, - and I created an illusion of my real appearance.
- Wow! - the anime girl gave the first reaction, staring at the phantom with all her eyes. The others also froze for a bit.
- Uh-uh... - the "Disney" one shook himself... or was it "Warner Brothers"? A-a-a-ah, whatever, in general, the Pig shook himself. - It's not that I don't want to stay here, with such fancy pies, but I still want to go home, and won't this start to dissolve me there as well?
- Don't worry, - I dispel the phantom, - I won't rebuild you - it's too long, expensive, and without equipment, it's also damn difficult, but it will be quite possible to hang up an illusion to "fool" the universe for a while. This won't solve the problem completely, but it will greatly weaken or even completely eliminate the attacks for a while.
- Oh, great! - nodded Noir-Spider. - What should we do?
- Almost nothing, but I will need your sample to adjust the parameters of the illusion specifically for you.
"Will there be injections?" the girl asked anxiously.
- No, a hair is enough. Or any other particle from your reality. Preferably from you, but it is not necessary. Then I will enchant an individual amulet for each of you, and when you return to your realities, you can simply take them off.
- O-o-okay, - they looked at me again with suspicion, well, yes, an incomprehensible shady guy wants "some part" of a young girl, or rather a girl. Damn Japanese with their fetishes, they consider me a pervert again.
Nevertheless, they cut off a small lock of my hair. Svintus, having taken off his glove, bit off a piece of his nail (ew), and the noir detective, as is proper in noir, pathetically ripped open his palm and drew out a whole glass of blood. White... like milk. And it was... very noir.
Besides, now I have samples of new genomes from other universes that I can study. And no, my maneuver was not a trick to obtain samples of representatives of other universes, I simply combined business with pleasure. After all, I really needed to create an illusion that would cover the emanations that were "unnatural" for this dimension and at the same time would not interfere with the goals of these illusions. And, of course, I simply could not miss such a wonderful opportunity to study the mechanism of work of other universes, with all these cloaks fluttering in the wind. Here is a pure conceptual impact on another reality, when you literally bend it to the laws of your own! This is just wow! Not every God can repeat this, and here we have simple mutants, and, at best, from the upper limit of the "average". There is something to think about, because all three were really fragments of another existence, but so stable and adaptive that not only did they not annihilate on the spot, but also retained viability, having ended up in a reality with different laws of physics, where they cannot exist in principle. That is, reality, of course, tried to get rid of them, like foreign bodies, but normally they should have simply been sprayed into quarks. It is in me that there is a particle of the divine principle, left over from the real Loki along with his magic and other powers, so my survival is understandable, but these three have nothing in common with divinity at all - they have no more magic than an ordinary mortal.
In short, while I was racking my brains trying to figure out how it all works, and in the process "shamanizing" over small artifacts-medallions that would serve as anchors for illusions (the design of which still had to be adjusted for two universes at once, assembling a new configuration for each of the three cases), night had already fallen and a good half of it had passed. Moreover, the option of creating a universal structure of spells that would be perceived as native by both environments participating in the process turned out to be possible only for the noir Parker, already on Penny the difference between the basic laws of realities turned out to be so great that the unwieldiness of a single drawing of spells was such that it was barely possible to hold it consciously, let alone build it into an amulet. There is nothing to say about Pig - he was a walking absurdity even for the most primitive volitional magic. As a result, it was necessary to synchronize the work of two spells for two different environments, but applied only to one carrier. It sounds simple, but in reality it's like building a dual-core processor from scratch, where one core runs on binary logic, and the other on ternary logic.
Meanwhile, Penny was studying the local Parker's archives. It wasn't enough to just log in, you also had to find the information you needed. And that wasn't that easy, especially if there was a lot of data there. The "evil plans of evil villains" folder could have existed in the Spider-Pig universe, but here all the ins and outs could have been scattered across people, projects, regions, dates, and who knows how the guy decided to catalog his personal data storage? Considering that a child, and a girl at that, was digging through it, a curious nose was poking everywhere, regardless of whether we needed it or not. Well, Penny couldn't tear herself away from reading, having stumbled upon some story of heroism - she's a girl, and here brutal guys are fighting, often with photos and video materials. And it's not that I was against it, but when I figured out the amulets, I still had to take the situation into my own hands, otherwise the child got carried away, and we still had things to do...
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