We met the morning in the same basement, a little more informed and understanding of what had happened, but a little disheveled and crazy. MJ had turned off all the phones and kept us company as we studied Peter's documentation. Not that she was of any practical use - noir Peter was much better here, although he only occasionally inserted comments, reading from the screen from behind our backs, but hey! Even if there was a real Spider-Ham among us, there were no such pigs among us to drive away a woman who had lost her husband and wanted to help find his killer. And then we finally found exactly what we needed, and I was literally stunned ... as was young Miss Parker from the anime.
- I can't believe that you can do this on such a primitive resource base? This Olivia Octavius is a genius! - the girl enthusiastically gave out a whole palette of rainbow colors of "tension" and "trepidation" around her body.
- Yep, - I nodded laconically, carefully reading the drawings and the theory created by the local Doctor Octopus. Yes, the local Doctor Octopus was a woman. And also the spitting image of Sybil Trelawney from the Harry Potter films, if she were drawn instead of photographed.
And it was creepy, yeah...
But I didn't care.
At all.
Because all of this paled in comparison to her creation. Her creation was just some kind of madness. Brilliant, but madness. Even Stark can rest! To move from the usual string theory to a practical expression of interuniversal coordinates and the discovery of physical principles of tearing the fabric of reality, and then to be able to embody this in metal... I don't know whether the installation will work in another universe built on different principles, but I could easily adjust the device itself to the reality of the Marvel Cinematic Universe! And all the effects it generated looked quite reproducible, just as the general theory of operation was perceived as quite plausible. Speaking about the final results of the entire complex's work... This crap, called a collider in the documentation, but having nothing in common with a real collider, was something like a harpoon gun, if I may say so. It opened a gap in another universe, pulled in the target-victim - and that's it, and the gap, being small, even against the background of a separate planet - just tiny, itself instantly tightened. True, with such a configuration I have already seen that parasitic radiation during recoil can shift the target in space-time, but only slightly, besides, the shifted one still fell within the time loop and could not influence the universe in any way before crossing the reverse point, or rather, all its attempts were already taken into account by the chain of events and led to just the right result. Well, oh, this temporal theory, oh well, let's not talk about sad things. And from the not sad things, we had an installation that in an alien universe for a couple of moments it generated a piece of its own universe, kidnapped the victim and moved it along its coordinates. The little green men and other inhabitants of the planet Nibiru approve. Of course, it devoured energy like crazy, but these are trifles, as well as the scatter and the temporal shift. Moreover...
- So, it is quite possible to send us back home, - I finished reading the documentation obtained by Peter. Even for me to fully understand what and how Octavius had created, it took me seven hours, and that was only for the device - I studied the general theory, its proofs and clarifications for another five. In short, it was already another evening.
"Uh-huh," Penny confirmed, already rubbing her tired right eye reflexively. Unlike me, the girl couldn't understand and comprehend everything, but she also grasped the general principle.
- Oh, good news! - Noir-Spider rejoiced, tearing himself away from playing cards with Pig and MJ. Yes, while Penny and I were racking our brains and staring at the monitor in permanent shock for 24 hours straight, these guys were having fun with poker. They even got Mary Jane involved, the blockheads.
– To do this, you just need to reprogram this installation, then climb into it, and it will shoot you back home, targeting your imprint of the universe.
- Like from a cannon? Sounds familiar! Well, I remember once they already stuck me in a giant cannon... - Pig, who, by the way, was also called Peter, only Porker, not Parker, drawled nostalgically.
– Moreover, the local Peter even wrote the necessary protocols for the current software, you just need to flash the bootable flash drive…
"Guber," all three spiders said in unison.
"People?" I raised an eyebrow questioningly.
- You see, my friend, - Noir-Spider began, sipping... well, I remember exactly that we only had fruit drink, where did he get something suspiciously similar to a mojito? A black and white, pompous noir mojito?! - there is always some kind of figured key, a fragment of the Reich mosaic, a puzzle or something like that. I suppose I am not the only one. For convenience, this next key to the next secret needed to be called somehow, and that is how the term "Guber" was born.
"That's right…" the girl sitting next to me confirmed.
- Oh, okay, I see, - I have no more questions. - But, getting back to the topic, there is one small problem: according to the calculations of the local St. Petersburg, this machine can easily generate an analogue of a black hole in the city center. I double-checked his calculations, and in general he is right. True, there will be no instantaneous folding of space, but the safe operation time of the rupture is from five to ten minutes in the best case. That is, during this time we must manage to do everything and in no case let the Kingpin activate the device when we are not around, otherwise everyone is doomed.
- So, we have the blueprints, what to sew up - also, now my friend and I will quickly solder the necessary thing - and we can go! - the girl exclaimed enthusiastically, jumping to her feet... and yawned infectiously with a very large anime mouth.
"You've been on your feet for two days already, at your age it's very harmful, so get some sleep first," I said softly but firmly.
"Now I believe that you were a teacher, you speak exactly like our class teacher," they muttered discontentedly in response, their shoulders drooping in martyrdom, but they did not object.
- Yes, yes, as you say. By the way, have you eaten anything? I didn't really pay attention... - trained by Laura, I began to habitually show concern for the sweet little girl, but I was suddenly interrupted.
The elevator platform began to slowly and pathetically descend, to which all the spiders stood up and waltzed into Batman cosplay, instantly disappearing into the shadows and disappearing under the ceiling. Why? Why? I don't know. But in the eyes of Mary Jane, with whom we exchanged glances from such a feint, I saw that I was not the only one. The reason, however, was quickly revealed - our nurse and simply sweet grandmother-dandelion brought three more individuals dressed in Spider costumes. Apparently, ours simply had a sense of new guests.
The company was colorful and consisted of an unshaven man of about thirty-five, quite an athletic build... or rather, it used to be, but now he had let himself go a bit and acquired a noticeable beer belly. And for some reason he was wearing sweatpants instead of the bottom half of a spider suit. The second was some small black guy in a cheap red and blue spiderweb rag, bought, incidentally, at the nearest souvenir shop. And the third, or rather the third... Mmm, beauty! Wavy golden hair down to the chin, blue eyes, full sensual lips, a damn cute face and an age of about seventeen or nineteen. A piercing barbell was threaded through her right eyebrow, and her hair was cut into what I considered to be a not very successful youth hairstyle, with the right side shaved, but it didn't spoil her at all, and the way her suit fit her toned, trained legs... Eleven, no! Twelve spiders out of ten!
- M-Mary Jane? - the eldest of the guests froze, as if struck by lightning, as soon as he saw our company.
- P-Peter? - but the redhead clearly began to turn pale, as if she had met a dead man, although... oh, yeah... His mug really does look like the one that was shown on all the channels yesterday, only there Peter was blond, and here he has regular brown hair. And his eyes are brown, not blue, like the local Parker's. In general, we have also seen the face of the noir Peter more than once during this time during meals, and he also looked quite similar to the local C.P., but he was black and white, a burning brunette, and he himself was more like a... fit "true Aryan from the thirties", that is, he was quite close to a close relative of the local Spiderman, but not a copy, here...
"Okay, before this awkward situation gets any more awkward, let's get something straight," I step forward, twirling my cane to stand between them, but close, and draw attention to myself. "People from parallel universes can look almost identical, but have different character traits, worldviews, histories, and so on, so, Mary, this is not your late husband, and this," I turned to the man, "is not your… whoever she is, whom you've clearly lost, judging by your appearance."
- Yes... that's right... forgive me... - the girl nodded. The man simply looked away.
"Allow me to introduce myself," I addressed mainly to the charming blonde, "Loki. At your service, may I know your… your names?"
- Stacy. Gwen Stacy, - the spider-girl answered with an awkward smile, wearing a black and white costume with a couple of pink elements. She also had green ballet shoes on her feet, and a hood was thrown back, obviously pulled over the mask. Perhaps to hide the real volume of hair, which a simple mask pulled like a stocking on the head cannot do.
- Nice to meet you, young lady, - I didn't mind bending down and kissing her hand. The cutie was embarrassed, but the black guy standing next to her with the first stage of an afro hairstyle was clearly jealous. But he also introduced himself, turning out to be Miles Morales, although his name didn't interest me much, unlike the fact that he wasn't another walking anomaly like Gwen and Parker, but that could wait, so I turned to the ceiling. - Guys, it's your turn!
What followed was almost a complete carbon copy of the introduction that happened to me. No, seriously, if I hadn't been there from the very beginning, I would have thought that it was all rehearsed and generally home-made. Again, the pathos of Noir-Spider, again Grendizer, and only the Pig, exhausted from idleness, decided to have fun with the newcomers and began to troll them vigorously, starting from generating muddy Disney water dripping off himself, for attempts at handshakes under the words, like, "I just washed my hands, that's why they're wet, I swear on my mother!", and ending with dancing, singing and rhymes all in the same traditions of early Disney and "Merry Melodies", combined with a story about his journalistic activities in search of buried dogs. No joke, he expressed himself on the topic of his main activity: "I'm looking for where the dog is buried."
And yes, I'll double my thought - this guy was the most dangerous of the whole group - not only can he drop anvils on others' heads out of nowhere and with an ultimate hit, but he should also be able to withstand the blow of this very anvil, as well as falls from a cliff, explosions, broken bones and ruptured internal organs when caught under a roller, souls made of acid, lightning strikes... oh, how the characters of those "kind children's cartoons" didn't have fun. In short, if anything, I've already decided who to hit first with Gungnir at full power. At worst, I'll freeze him with the Casket of Winter - that should give him a chance to escape.
Alas, the crowd was seasoned, so they all made faces that they saw this every day and that it was "boring". Or rather, the black guy was staring with his mouth open, the adult Parker, who had clearly seen some shit, was still not quite himself and was looking at MJ more than at the surroundings, and Gwen, yes, she played the cool game very well. The fact that this was a game was obvious to me, but the amazement inside her did not prevent her from controlling herself, and that was an indicator.
The deviation from the script began suddenly, when in the middle of Pig's chatter all six of them somehow simultaneously shuddered, as if from goosebumps, and seemed to listen to something. After which they looked at each other... I don't know, the closest analogy is "recognizing old friends whom they haven't seen for a long time", and even their body language changed, as if they had suddenly become imbued with complete trust in each other, almost at the level of close relatives with whom you have lived in the same house for many years.
- You are like me... - the whole company said in one voice, on some unconscious reflexes, but I vaguely caught some note of mental energy. Not magic, but psionics. It is usually very difficult to detect when it is not directed at you, but here, it seemed, as many as six intuitive psionics exchanged call signs "friend or foe".
- How interesting... - my hands were itching with a research itch, I had to twirl my cane. Yes, Gungnir should Sparkle! When he does that, his feeling: "I am Irresistibility itself!" always sobers me up.
So, Gwen Stacy has appeared in various Spider-Man stories, like she's a cop's daughter and even Peter's first love in one of the basic comic book stories, and then she died in his arms. Her costume was also vaguely familiar to me, although in a past life I've definitely seen pictures of her where she's, um, more formed as a woman, let's call it that. But that's not the point, the point is that she's definitely not an alternate version of Peter, and this black one is definitely not Parker, but they do have powers. But where did they get such a similar mutation with the "Spiders" that they even perceive each other as "pack members"?
"I definitely need samples from the three of you too," I tell the newcomers with a satisfied and anticipatory smile.
"Ah…" my words seemed to throw them off some rhythm, so much so that the whole company shook. "You're not like us," Gwen continued, turning her gaze to me and frowning slightly.
- That's right - I have Power! - the anticipation of something wonderful and interesting brought a playful mood to me. - But let's not talk about sad things.
"Power is sad?" Mary Jane perked up, giving me a strange look.
"You can't imagine," I nodded half-turned, depicting all the world's melancholy on my face.
"So…" unshaven Peter in sweatpants tore his gaze away from the redhead with effort and turned to the three who had been in the basement before me, "how did you get here?"
"Well, it's a very long story…" Noir Peter began dramatically.
"Suddenly portals opened up beneath us all, we were pulled into some strange place and thrown against billboards!" Penny quickly explained. "When we came to our senses, we looked around, realized that the world wasn't ours, and went here."
"…Or maybe not a long one," the previous speaker shrugged after a short pause.
"Now we're all trying to get home," the anime girl sighed, the robot behind her depicting a crying face on the display.
"The only way is through the collider squiggle," Noir-Spider stylishly waved his hand in the air. "But there's one problem…"
- This thing needs to be destroyed! - Pig crunched his fist belligerently, continuing his thought. - Just in case! We can't leave it in evil hands, otherwise something might happen!
"But in order to send us back, it has to work, and if it breaks, then we'll stay here," Penny explained.
"I'll do it," all the Pautinychi, except the black one, volunteered in chorus, but then again there was a general attack of denial of foreign elements by the universe, and Gwen and the battered Parker fell to the floor together, clenching their teeth in a fit of pain.
- Eh? Are you all right? - the black man was surprised, having just lost ten points in my eyes - he could cast jealous glances at a gentleman who had shown politeness and gallantry towards a lady, but he could not offer a hand and help a girl who had curled up on the floor in pain to get up. But he could almost be indignant that the other Spiders were feeling fine.
- Yes, - nodded Pig, - Loki did some magic, some shamanism, and now we are on our side in this universe. But why is everything okay with you? - the pig squinted unpleasantly.
- Uh-uh, yes, I am, I am from this universe...
- Wait a minute, but there was a Spider-Man here?! - Penny was surprised and indignant at the same time.
"And you don't look much like his relative," I picked up the thought, holding out my hand to Gwen and helping her up. "Let me have your hand… and a couple of hairs."
"Hey, hey," she even took a step back, "the last time a guy touched my hair, I had to shave the entire right side of my head!"
"I already apologized for that incident!" Miles threw up his hands in alarm. "It wasn't on purpose!"
- You pulled a girl's hair? - I stared at him in shock. No, I was prepared for anything, but this...
- No! I mean, yes, but... my Spider powers had just awakened back then, and I was clinging to everything...
- Okay, - I closed my eyes, massaging the bridge of my nose with my free hand. - I... basically understand the situation when a man has an unbearable desire to stroke a cute girl on the head... Penny will confirm, - a gesture towards the anime girl who immediately assumed a maximally independent look. - But... it's one thing to stroke the head of an anime girl who controls a personal combat robot, and even then I first asked permission, - helping myself with the gestures inherited from the previous Loki, I unfold the thought, - but how did you manage it? I mean, teenagers who throw their hands on strangers get a slap on the wrist for less, don't they?
"That's true," Gwen admitted, folding her arms across her chest.
- It happened by accident! I put my hand on her shoulder, and when I started to remove it, my fingers stuck!
- ... - I don't know what the others were thinking, but I desperately wanted to massage my face. - Can you satisfy my curiosity, why did you touch her shoulders? - playing with my face, I characteristically raise an eyebrow, so offering to secretly confess all my sins.
- I-e-e... - the black guy got even more nervous. Am I really that scary?
- Okay, fine, - I grab Gungnir, which I turned into a cane, in my other hand, - maybe you're right, and there are things in the universe that I wouldn't want to know. Let's go back to the previous point! I need a couple of hairs to make an amulet and cover you for a while from the universe's attempts to disintegrate you, - I look at the "seasoned" Peter, who concentrated all his efforts not to stare at the redhead. The redhead, by the way, was doing the same, because it's one thing to understand with your mind, and another to see a loved one who has just been buried in front of you. Yes, slightly different and worn out, but they were the same as the deceased even in the face, and also, judging by the way the girl shuddered, by her voice, facial expressions and fine motor skills. - Mister Parker, - both the man and Mary Jane shuddered in unison, - this applies to you too. No, if you have hidden masochistic tendencies ...
"Here," he sighed tiredly and simply pulled a couple of hairs out of his hair.
"Okay," Gwen hesitated a bit and wanted to do the same, but I managed to offer her a small but sharp dagger, summoning it from my subspace pocket. Nodding gratefully, the blonde shared her lock of hair.
"Well, go ahead," I sighed, handing the returned dagger to the guy.
- For what?
- So that I can clone you and raise a supervillain who will then conquer the Multiverse for me.
- ... - well, he also has... not much of a sense of humor.
- A particle of the original carrier of Spider Powers from this universe will allow me to carry out the entire process much easier and faster. I calibrated your three "colleagues" for a good six hours.
"Okay," the black man agreed. It's not that I lied to him much, but… yes, I did lie, the acceleration of the "enchantment" would be connected with some accumulated experience and the fact that the blonde and the seasoned Parker were obviously from the "closest" universes to this one – their structure was already very similar to the local one. Not enough to adapt independently, but much more suitable than this walking horror and the paradox with the snout.
- Great, and while I'm here practicing higher magic on my knee, tell us when and how you got your power? - I tried to give myself the most inviting appearance.
- I was bitten by a radioactive spider! - the black man suddenly started sweating and stood at attention. Tch, he went too far with the friendly look, I can see it in his eyes - he went too far.
- Go on, - I encourage the silent victim. Well, why not? I'm not going to give up the secret of obtaining Spider-Man's powers just because the person being interrogated got scared?
"I went with my uncle to draw on the walls..." and the guy told everything as if it were true.
About transferring to a new school by competition, about all his friends remaining in the old one, about his dad, a policeman, not understanding his rushing creative soul, about Uncle Aron, who, on the contrary, understands everything and is the only one who saves the boy from the cruelty of the world, about their Niger-vandal habits of self-expression through damaging public property with vulgar smears, and about the most important thing - a spider with glowing legs, which he swatted after biting and which still lies in that basement, through which he then got into some other basement, where the local Peter fought with the Green Goblin, and was then killed by the Kingpin, having previously managed to give the boy a "goober" and asked him to finish the job.
He spoke incoherently and confusedly, but I managed to highlight several key points. The first, and most important, is that he knows where the spider I need for research is. The second is that he knows how to get directly to the underground laboratory of the Kingpin, where the interuniversal transfer machine is located. The third is that he is to blame for the death of the local Parker and our transfer... He himself, of course, did not admit this and was unlikely to fully understand it, but the very fact that Peter was distracted by his rescue and, albeit brief, but conversations, instead of spending this time breaking through to the control panel and sabotaging the device, is already enough to draw conclusions. Moreover, the guy himself without a second thought admitted that Spiderman at some point lacked only a couple of seconds.
And you know what? The puzzle suddenly came together! I realized! I got it! This is not tolerance! This is not an agenda! It's the other way around! The big bosses at Marvel don't bend over backwards for LGBT, they troll it! They really mix it with shit! This is a conspiracy against blacks and feminists! But especially against blacks!
It started somewhere in the second half of the 2000s, with the second Iron Man movie or somewhere nearby. That's where this thing started, when a positive and seemingly heroic black character turns out to be the main asshole of the whole plot, or even the main culprit of all the problems! Let's remember: Colonel Rhodey betrayed his best friend, used the access he gave him to his house to steal his most valuable property, then almost killed him, completely shitting on the threat to the lives of a bunch of innocent civilians before him, handed over the stolen goods to those to whom his loyal friend would not give it even under the threat of life, which helped the main antagonist quite a bit, and at the end of the film, when according to all the canons of moral lessons he should have repented and apologized, he brazenly appropriated the stolen goods for himself, and everything was fine, like that's how it should be - that's what blacks do.
Or take the movie "Thor", that is, literally my personal "non-fictional" story. Heimdall! It's all his fault! Both here and there! He was simply required to fulfill his official duties, but he didn't give a shit about it, and as a result we have an exiled heir to the throne and a huge pile of headaches for a shitload of people. Yes, he helps later and is generally so brave and correct, but he is still to blame for everything - without his connivance, all the subsequent fuck-up would not have happened!
Or the movie "The Avengers"! There it all started with one nigga deciding that he was the smartest. Like, I'm Nick Fury, I'm cool, I'm the protector of the Earth from an external threat! I'll organize an attempt to hack an alien artifact of the Gods or just activate it to see what happens, what could go wrong?.. Oops! There was a Chitauri invasion, and New York was almost destroyed by a nuclear missile? Well, I helped save everyone, I'm a Hero! I'll give a speech at the end of the movie like "We learned a lot today!" and pretend that nothing happened... Well, until I decide to stir up some bullshit again, like building a fleet of "Star Destroyers" with brainwashers on board who are supposed to make all the people of the world my slaves. And why not, really? I'm a positive black character! They won't even remove me from my position anyway - I'm black!
Who else is there? Oh yeah, how could I forget?! Valkyrie, aka Brunhilde! An aggressive, degraded, lawless African-American slave trader with the dream superpower of "constantly drinking at work" - the new Hero of Our Time! She is absolutely unnecessary to the plot, causes nothing but disgust, and is essentially introduced only so that a Strong, Independent, Black Female War Veteran, possibly a lesbian, can send a white heterosexual man with a "true Aryan" appearance into slavery and spend the rest of the film also mocking men with impunity, regardless of their origin, social status, personal moral qualities and services to society. That is, yes, we have another character who generates more than half of all the plot problems, played a bunch of first-rate narcissistic crap for half the film, fixing in the minds of viewers the image of blacks in general and Strong Independent Women in particular, and in the end does not pay for all this, thereby generating an even greater feeling of hostility in the adequate audience, even becomes a Hero, simply because, well, she later corrected herself and helped...
O A PRIVAL ISCRAL of Creation, there are also Vacanda, whose best people are black Nazis with habits of caricature brothers, who, without jokes, considered the whole story of their people all the other people of the subhuman, including the closest neighbors in the continent, of which they were to protect them even to protect against inhuman criminalism into slavery. And they are also declared positive heroes who personify all the best in black ... that is, where it was possible to show the normal state of civilized, adequate black people, they tell us that they did so, but in fact they painted the society of caricature gangstones with the larger rags and in the surrounding of hopeless barbarism ... and all this is literally shouting: and all this is literally shouting: and all this is literally shouting: and all this "Look what these blacks are! Look how they behave and how they think even where no one oppresses them and where they have everything ten times better than the white and any others! See? "See?! What dangerous and extremely insolent freaks they are! Do you really want to give them equal rights and allow them to have real power? Really?"
And let someone tell me that this is not a conspiracy! It is one hundred percent him!
"Listen, do you by any chance have a bass guitar?" I turned to the boy, crushed by the scale of the revelation, wanting to be completely sure.
"Uh… yeah, it's lying under the bed," the guy answered.
- Do you sell crack?
- Stop! This is not the time for jokes! - Parker stood between us. The one in sweatpants and unshaven. Judging by his look, he came to the same conclusions as me, and although he obviously already knew some of the facts before, he also heard everything for the first time, nevertheless, he did not want to blame the guy. Besides him, Noir Spider probably understood everything. Aunt May and Mary Jane... were rather concerned about learning all the details of the death of a loved one, and were clearly incapable of analyzing the logical premises yet, with difficulty restraining themselves from showing natural emotions in such a situation. Penny, Gwen and Pig... they hardly understood everything, although with time, they will probably guess.
- No! My father works in the police! - Miles exclaimed at the same time.
- So you've already taken care of the roof? - Ignoring Parker, I continued to relieve stress. - Family business, I respect that!
"By the way," Gwen frowned, "that sounded very racist."
"You heard it yourself – he confessed to vandalism," I shrug, handing them the enchanted amulets that I made while the guy was telling his story.
– Hey, graffiti is art!
– Art is if you exhibited in a gallery or, at worst, created landscapes, portraits or paintings of animals on these walls, but a three-dimensional and slightly altered interpretation of an obscene word on a fence is vandalism. And some adult guy helped you with it… – I cast an appraising glance at the boy. – Something tells me he's unemployed. But he periodically goes away on business trips and lives relatively well…
- How are you…
- Oh, holy Stan Lee!.. - I roll my eyes. - Dude, that's such a stereotype... But let's leave that, what happened next? Please, with as much detail as possible.
And he "told". Oh, it would have been better if he had kept quiet. Those were the most terrible ten minutes of my life. Really. Honestly. Even compared to the previous one.
"…" Miss Stacy was also silent.
- So, let's start from the end. Instead of going straight to Peter Parker's "base", you couldn't think of anything better than breaking into the villain research institute again to steal the data to make a new "goober" again, because someone went to "train" with an extremely fragile and important device in their pocket?
- I... I didn't think...
"I can understand Gwen," I finally started massaging my face. "She has no way of knowing about the base of Spider-Man, who is Peter Parker, but you two?.." I open my eye, without taking my hand off my face, and glance at Parker and Morales. "Oh yeah, the question is off the table, the first one definitely wouldn't have gone to bother his aunt of his own free will, and the second one is just a stupid little black guy, whose plot role, if my theory is correct, is to become the cause of all the troubles, after which he will "correct himself" and, apparently, somehow help everyone in the end, in order to… in order to, yes, replace the white Spider-Man, who is blond with blue eyes…
"Listen, who are you anyway, if not Spider?" Stacy returned the conversation to one of the original topics, looking at me with a squint.
- I am the God of Magic from a parallel universe. I have a good friend who runs a school for mutant children, where they are helped to understand their powers and are given a good education. In your universes, he probably exists too, his name is Charles Xavier. That time, I was studying the blood of a potential student - an eight-year-old boy named Peter Parker. And then one fine day, a portal opened under his blood, and I was sucked in.
"I don't really believe that a god could just get sucked into a portal like that," Gwen raised an eyebrow skeptically.
- All the complaints about Christianity - it is Christianity that has confused your head, replacing all possible concepts and definitions for commercial interests. By the way, very young lady, - I turned to Penny, - you still haven't answered my question about food and going to bed.
- Hey, I'm already fourteen! I can decide when I go to bed! - the owner of the robot was indignant.
"And I'm over a thousand, and I have a sleep spell…" I played with my eyebrows.
- Gr-r-r... - she pouted. Well, yes, everything here is so interesting, and she is being sent to bed. - I'm not!.. - Penny began to protest again, but then she was betrayed by another attack of yawning. - Okay, I need to sleep, - the anime girl obediently dropped her shoulders.
"We won't start without you," I assured the offended little girl.
- Really?
"Exactly, exactly…" I nodded.
"Okay," and she nodded goodbye and headed towards the rest area of the Bat Cave, tactfully moving away from the topic of lunch. Oh, these women's addictions to diets.
"So…" Miles timidly drew attention to himself, apparently deciding that the storm had passed, "what… are we going to do?"
"We were just planning to make a governor and visit this Fisk after our vacation," Noir Spider answered with dignity, adjusting his wide-brimmed hat.
"I suggest we draw lots to determine who will remain to blow things up," Gwen suggested, looking seriously at everyone.
- No-no-no! - the black man waved his hands. - You just don't get it! You can't stay. If you stay, you'll die! I have to turn off the collider! And before that, I'll send you back home! I made him a promise, so... I have to keep it, - the boy tried to draw out a note of pathos, but it came out weak.
"Do you even know how to do anything?" Noir asked skeptically.
- Well, he can become invisible, show them! Come on! - Peter, who had seen it all, tried to support his friend.
- Kh... - the black man began to push, - it doesn't work on command...
- Uh-uh... - Parker's smile was already strained. - He can also shoot lightning, come on, show me your "zigzag".
- Pfft, - he continued to push, I got the feeling that a little more and it might start to smell really bad... - it's not working either...
"I've seen him in action," Gwen now stood up for the guy, apparently just out of pity… "Well… he has potential…"
– … – Pig grunted skeptically, but Noir-Spider apparently remembered that he was from the thirties, and in front of him was a black man.
- Hey, kid, if this Big Man... sets his mazuriks, really tough nuts, on you, will you be able to deal with them? All by yourself?
- Well, I... uh... haven't fought anyone yet...
- Hmm, - I could only sigh. - Maybe he's a comic character or that same dark-skinned guy who, according to the plot, will die first? - I was already sure that "no", but the situation needed to be defused a little.
"It's not funny!" Gwen wrinkled her nose at me, but her body language said that she agreed with me more than not.
- Now get into a stance - let's test your reflexes! - Noir Spider walked up to the guy with a boxer's jumping gait and got into a stance.
"Uh…" Miles tried to repeat after the man.
"Sudden attack!" he shouted and with a quick sweep knocked the boy to the floor.
Then it began... a blatant beating into the humus. Black and white Peter warned about each of his blows, and did not carry them out too quickly, but the black man was just about to go. And for some reason the others decided to put pressure on the boy, even Peni came jumping up from the couch. Like, "Can you fix the processor under a hail of bullets?" - an anime girl, "Are your super moves as graceful as possible?" - Gwen, "Can you turn off your feelings so as not to suffer from your own cruelty?" - Noir, "Can you fly in the air by the smell of pie?" - it's clear who, and so on: "Are you at least strong?", "Insidious?", "Careful?", "Show us your valor!", "The ability to read minds!" and so on and so forth. And I especially liked Peni's options... Is it their collective spider empathy that turned on? Like "finish off and devour a weak, wounded relative"? Well, spiders do that... I think.
In the end, after kicking the guy around a bit, the people concluded that "he's hopeless" and began discussing who would stay and destroy the collider. But here I couldn't help but intervene, because that's not right!
- Hey-hey, guys, calm down, if anything, I can do all of the above, even read minds, - I wink at Penny, - but there is this cool modern thing called a "detonator". And an even cooler and more advanced version - a "dead hand detonator", this is when the explosion occurs when the signal is interrupted. For example, if someone presses a button... or disappears into another universe, get it?
"Hmm, head," Noir-Spider nodded respectfully.
"But first we'll have to kill Octopussy and Fisk," I continued to enlighten the people.
"Why?" MJ didn't understand, having been listening to our arguments the whole time. "It's not that I'm against the death of my husband's killer, but Peter wouldn't approve of it."
- Well, they built one such machine. What's to stop them from building another? Sudden amnesia or a lack of resources on the part of one of the richest people in the city, if not the country?
"And it's true..." the Spiders looked at each other and agreed with my arguments.
"So," I had to interrupt the conversation and gasp for air, "where are you off to, my transparent friend?"
"See, I told you he could become invisible!" the seasoned Parker rejoiced.
"Well... I..." and it wasn't that his eyes were wet, but he was definitely morally crushed.
"I'll need you again!" I said confidentially, not forgetting to add a touch of mania to my gaze and voice.
"I suddenly feel a bit scared…" Pig shared with the team.
- W-why?! - Miles agreed with him. Oh, the depression is gone, the energy level is over 9000. And most importantly, the readiness to cooperate is visible on the face.
- Well, besides the fact that you are the only one here who has actually been to this damned installation and seen it in person, which means you can do it... Besides, once I start doing good deeds, it becomes almost impossible to stop, and therefore I will study the spider that bit you, if, of course, it is still there!
"W-why?" Miles repeated again.
- Hmm... that's bad. Okay, I'll give you a hint. Everyone here, well, except for one beautiful and irresistible one, - I winked at Miss Stacy, to which she rolled her eyes, - me, are already experienced users of their spider powers. And they all have the same set of talents: strength, agility, Jedi-like foresight into problems, instinctive knowledge of the composition of different types of webs. And we have you, who, in addition to all of the above, has invisibility and, according to your friend, the ability to throw lightning. So we have to figure out, is this just your luck or do you have the wrong mutation, and then you can start growing fur in interesting places and growing a couple more limbs?
"Okay…" he nodded.
- Well, that's great, - I nodded. - So, dream team, we'll rest, catch up on sleep, and in the morning we'll go to work! The rest point especially concerns anime girls, - I smile at Penny.
"I knew you were a pervert!" she flashed her scarlet eyes belligerently, once again using the anime special effects of female rage.
"You don't understand anything about men's feelings," I answered proudly to the vile insinuations, still flashing a smile.
"Hey, why are you in charge?!" Gwen was indignant.
- Because I have Power, and I am also God. And I made amulets for everyone. Oh yeah, and I am also just a very charismatic and fair leader.
"And modest," they looked at me with superiority and condemnation.
- And modest, - I did not hesitate. - I am glad that you noticed. And now rest, and I will take a walk. Since our new friend will not participate in the battle, he does not really need rest, but he can work as a guide.
"I'll go with you!" the blonde said adamantly, ruffling her feathers charmingly.
"Mmm," I look at her thoughtfully, "I'm not against it, and if you were a couple of years older, I'd be all for it," Gwen understood the implication and became embarrassed, however, immediately turning from embarrassment to aggression.
- Hey, I'm going with you just in case! - and also because you're damn curious, but these are details. The black man, by the way, was looking at me with a very displeased look, and I simply couldn't miss this moment.
- As you say. And boy, - I turn to the policeman's son, - stop boring into me with that look, by the way, I'm taking care of you right now and, one might say, saving your life.
- Yes? - It seems they don't believe me. It's a shame.
- You know that female spiders of some species periodically snack on males? And given your sorry state, before you know it, "um" - and your head is already torn off!
- Hic! - Oh, he even turned a little grey.
"Yeah-ah-ah," Pig supported me, "how grateful I am to fate that I became a pig, otherwise Stacy was already starting to look at me with some strange interest, similar to gastronomic.
- Yes, I... - Gwen stared at us with such feeling that wow! - Yes, you... Argh! The only one whose head I want to rip off here is him! - they pointed a finger at me.
"Yes, I'm good-looking and women like me," I demonstratively straighten a strand of hair, and the girl just realizes how her words sounded in the context that had just opened up.
- Argh! - She was completely embarrassed. And pouted so damn cutely.
- That's it, I'll shut up! But now you're in the right mood! - I grinned, seeing the teenagers exchanging surprised glances, having really released the tension. Well, at least Gwen. I didn't really give a damn about the psyche of this homegrown vandal. - Let's go get the mutant spider?
- Yes, let's go... and... maybe you can put me down on the ground already? - the guy asked cautiously.
- Mmm? Oh, yes, of course... - it turned out that all this time I continued to hold him by the collar with one hand.
Leaving the heroes, who had been on their feet for two days, to rest, we headed to the place indicated by the creepy black guy in an even creepier suit. Of course, the kids could use some rest too, but as I understood, they had only been on their feet since the morning, which for the militant organisms of mutants, I mean, for the organisms of militant mutants, is not that much. Although they could use some rest, too, albeit a little later. But for me, peace is not even a dream for now, but oh well - the knowledge I receive and the positive vibes are definitely worth it.
On the way out of the house, I threw the illusion of normal clothes on the teenagers so that we wouldn't be too conspicuous a group. I was dressed in a decent coat and a three-piece suit, after all, and that didn't go well with the Spiders' "carnival" outfits, even though there were now crowds of local St. Petersburg fans walking around the city in red masks, thus expressing mourning for the hero.
- Eh?! Gwen, your clothes!.. And mine!.. - here the black man panicked, naturally, the first to notice the change in the appearance of the girl he had been stealthily staring at.
"Oh!" Stacey limited herself to showing emotions, looking at the black fitted coat that had appeared on her.
"It's magic, Harry," I explain without turning around to look at them, walking out the door.
- My name is Miles!
"Sometimes I feel so old…" I sighed tiredly, looking up at the dark and cloudy skies. There was, of course, a chance that there were no Harry Potter books here, but that didn't make me feel any less.
- What? - the guy didn't understand.
- Don't worry about it, explaining the meaning of a joke is almost the same as walking down the street in a jacket but without pants. It's both shameful and disgraceful.
"Listen," Gwen caught up with me to keep up, "I already realized that you have the gift of the gift of speech, but maybe you could explain all this magic and gods?"
"I don't think that's a good idea," I shake my head, finding the bus stop with my eyes. I thought it would be rude to take MJ's car without asking, especially since we were going down to the subway anyway, and it was unknown how long we would be there and what would happen to the abandoned car during that time. "Universes are different, and nature, like the origin of the gods in each of them, is also different. An explanation of the state of affairs in my universe may be categorically incorrect for yours, and given your heroic activities, this could backfire on you.
- How so? - the blonde narrowed her left eye in confusion. - I catch criminals and save people, I don't work in a church.
- Well, you met me, which means you have a chance to meet one of the gods of your reality in your world. By the way, if you suddenly meet another version of me, stay away, - I confidentially warn the girl. - In most universes, I'm a real scumbag.
- I... - Gwen exchanged surprised glances with Morales, - I don't understand something. How do you know about this?
"I'm Loki, I just know these things," I shrug. "By the way, try to stay away from the guy named Deadpool too – he knows a lot of things too, but he's a psycho."
- Hey! Deadpool is cool! - the black man objected.
- Is he here?
- Yes! He's a famous superhero, he works for the government!
"Stay away!" I warned Gwen again.
"You don't think I'm going to just take your word for it when you don't even try to explain it?" the blonde tilted her head to the side skeptically.
- In most realities, he is a psychotic unprincipled mercenary, constantly trying to arrange a bloodbath, combined with walking a violent lunatic. Plus, he is an adrenaline maniac, a rapist and a regenerator who absolutely does not care about any damage to the body.
"That can't be!" the dark-skinned teenager didn't believe it, and the girl's eyes widened.
- That's why I say that relying on knowledge from another universe when planning something in your own is a bad idea. You can keep it in mind, but nothing more. Besides, if Deadpool was able to get a permanent job with Uncle Sam in one world, that doesn't mean he's very different from other versions, it's just that the government will find a use for such a specialist, and excesses will simply not get into the press.
"You're contradicting yourself," the blonde noted.
- It's just that two themes came together at an unfortunate juncture. But if you want something more visual... In my world, MJ is a shaggy, dark-skinned girl of far from the most impressive appearance, whose full maiden name is not Mary Jane Watson, but Michelle Jones. At the same time, she is one hundred percent the alter ego of the local MJ. Our Peter Parker is also far from being the brave and smart guy you know, and he won't get any better with age. Well, so that you finally get a sense of the hellishness of my reality, my Aunt May is a lady "slightly over thirty" in an active search. And I've only told you about one family, but how many purely logical differences follow these moments in the future fate of the aforementioned, I think you can guess for yourself.
At that moment, the bus pulled up and we were forced to stop talking. More precisely, I could have diverted attention from us, but I didn't say so. Arguing with teenagers is not a very useful thing. If only Gwen had been with me, I would have, of course, maintained the conversation and easily changed the topic to something more pleasant, but there was a third wheel with us, and his mere presence destroyed all hints of romance.
Having reached the metro by public transport, we transferred to a commuter train and soon got off at a station where my civilian outfit looked even more absurd than a Spider-Man mask on a guy growing an afro. In the sense that the station looked little better than a public toilet in Russia in the 1990s. At the same time, the walls in the toilet were cleaner. At the very least, there weren't so many savage rock paintings there.
"It's here," Miles beckoned us toward the tunnel from which our train had just left.
- Excellent, - I look away from all the random witnesses and jump down on the path after the guy. A second later, the girl was next to me.
We then walked about thirty meters until a wide staircase leading even lower appeared on the left side of the tunnel. It was already a bit dark around, so I created a small firefly above us, which gave enough light for my companions. Soon a lattice partition with a door and a combination lock appeared. There was still about a meter of space above it that was not closed by obstacles, and the black guy immediately hurried to show us a cool parkour with climbing using the power of a spider. And once he was on the other side, he tried to portray for us something like a stylish pose with a meaningful look. The bait worked on Gwen, and half a second later she was on the other side, and she did it twice as fast and five times more gracefully. Although okay, I'm already picking on you - it's stupid to compare an experienced pro with a beginner.
"I've been meaning to ask, are you a ballerina?" I open the de-energized lock with telekinesis and enter through the door like a white person, asking Stacy.
"I used to do figure gymnastics," Gwen replied, watching the door close "by itself" behind me.
- And then you decided that the spider's strength was too unsportsmanlike? - I guess the reason for the term "earlier".
"Not right away," the blonde said sadly, turning away to the corridor. "At first I even performed on a TV show, but then because of my fame my friend decided to become special too and turned into a monster… and died because of me."
"I see…" Judging by the timbre of her voice and body language, the guilt there was by no means imaginary and still caused her pain, although the wound in her soul had already managed to heal from the passing of time.
"Her friend was Peter Parker, he turned into the Lizard," Miles thought it necessary to enlighten me.
On the one hand, this was interesting information for me, but on the other hand, it was clearly not the kind of information that Gwen would like to voice and remember now. This was indicated at least by the fact that when the guy said this, she simply walked forward without turning around.
"I understand," I really do have some thoughts in mind and start moving after the girl.
I think I won't be wrong if I assume that, without receiving Spider-Man's power, the Peter Parker of her world remained a nerd loser bullied by his peers, one of those who can neither establish themselves in society nor find a company where they will be accepted as they are. The fact that he somehow miraculously managed to become friends with the beautiful Gwen hardly added joy to him, because whatever you say about feelings, and when a girl is ten or even twenty times stronger than you - this is an obstacle to a relationship. On the contrary - it is possible, although there you should be careful at times, but when you are a man in a patriarchal society, and also an insecure weakling, and your girlfriend is Spider-Man, it is sad. And I am absolutely sure that Gwen was not his girlfriend, which only added fuel to the fire. Well, since he became the Lizard of her world, it's not at all difficult to guess the guy's motivation for taking the mutagen…
"Here, it was here," our guide stopped in the painted hall that met us after several turns along the corridor. Miles' voice broke the uncomfortable silence, but it began to return quickly. No, this won't do!
"So, a dark-skinned guy lured a pretty white girl and a respectably dressed man accompanying her into a dark, ominous room covered in graffiti…" I began with inspiration.
- Pff!.. - Gwen choked on a laugh, quickly covering her mouth. Yes, I love to play with my voice, I know how and I practice.
- Hey, dude! You asked me to show you the way!!! - our guide was indignant again.
- That's what I'm talking about! Show me quickly where the spider is?
- Here? - the guy walked up to one of the walls and leaned over the dead body of a small spider.
- Hmm... - noticing my target, I focused my perception on it and... sighed heavily. - Fucking time loops...
- What are you talking about? - the black man didn't understand.
"You see, boy," at that moment a rainbow wave, already familiar to everyone present, passed over the dead arachnid, "this guy came to you because of the collider.
"But… but he bit me before Fisk turned on this collider!" he was surprised.
- In case you forgot, I was also transported to last week. I told you, - Stacy looked at him with a bit of displeasure.
- Oh yeah, you haven't seen the Octavius formulas... Basically, this device pulls the victim through space-time, but at the exit point there is a spread, somewhere plus or minus a couple of kilometers and days. So you were bitten by a Spider, who was pulled in by the "door of worlds" that hadn't worked yet. And not just any Spider! - I was examining the dead arthropod.
- Yes, yes, I already understood that this was also an alien from another dimension with superpowers! - the black man answered a little irritatedly. - Did we get what we needed?
- Ahem, yes, but actually, I wanted to say something different.
- So what?
- That was a very authoritative Spider, just look at him! He tattooed on his belly the answer to the main question of life, the universe and everything.
"Your humor is so subtle that it's not even noticeable!" the guy was indignant, but at that moment Gwen…
- Phi, that's right! - ...she understood the joke perfectly and laughed.
- That's the difference between an educated lady, a policeman's daughter and... hmm, you're a policeman's son too. Oh, then there must be a racist joke here again!
- Go to hell! - Morales deigned to be offended.
"Miles, wait, maybe in your universe there just isn't Adams and his 'Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy,'" Gwen tried to calm him down.
- That's not it! - the black man threw up his hands. - What's wrong with all of you?! Peter did nothing but brush off the problem at first, then that black and white guy started throwing me around on the floor, the others jumped on me, and now he's trying to humiliate me with every word! Do you have a problem with black people?! - This is for me.
– That's the thing, I have no problem with them – I had absolutely nothing to do with slavery in America, so I bear no moral responsibility for it, which is why I have every right to joke about it. But if you want a complete answer – I put my cane down so that it freezes in a vertical position – then it's so I don't go crazy.
"What?" Morales blinked in confusion.
- The behavior of your brothers in power, - having summoned a suitable glass container from my subspace pocket, I carefully place the spider in it. - You see, any superhero constantly faces a whole bunch of the most nervous and unpleasant situations, and if you do not learn to treat everything with humor, then you will very quickly go crazy in such a job. And then professional deformation sets in, and the habits developed to distract opponents, forcing them to make mistakes or rush into an ill-considered attack in a fit of rage, begin to slip into everyday life. Add to this the fact that Spidermen, for the most part, are loners. Was it by chance or is it all about the instincts inherited from the spider, and spiders, by the way, are not pack creatures, - I warn the guy, in case he does not know, - but the fact remains - it is difficult for you to work in a team. So to speak, all the time you want to weave your web away from your neighbors. So the guys didn't put pressure on you out of malice, but, to their disadvantage, it wasn't enough.
"What?" Gwen shook her head, under Miles's wide-eyed gaze. "I thought you were getting at this being wrong, but instincts can't always be fought!"
"Not really," I shake my head, not looking up from studying the corpse. "Even though these are instincts, and they can really cause discomfort, in this case they acted in the right direction. We won't be here for very long, and you, boy, need to master your powers. And the more you are driven now, the easier it will be for you to survive later. There is no time for a normal warm-up, so the express training option is the most effective. And in this case, bruises, emotional pumping and the desire to punch your sparring partner in the jaw are very useful things.
"Is that why you're provoking me?" Morales asked again, having calmed down and clearly starting to think with his head.
- Mmm... Well, in some ways you're right - Spider-Man should be trolling his opponents in battle, and not falling for the simplest jokes about his race, but in general, I'm just a God of Jokes and I love to mock people, - and now don't forget the charming smile.
"Your reality has good heroes, I'll take a look," Gwen quickly interjected, getting ahead of the guy.
- Actually, I'm a Villain.
"What?!" the teenagers said in surprise in two voices.
- Just don't do that! - I turn to them. - I'm not some crazy loser! I became a legend a thousand years before maniacal laughter became mainstream! And anyway, I'm a school teacher, which means, by definition, the cruelest tyrant, despot and autocrat in the world.
"Ha…" the blonde exhaled, then closed her eyes and hid her face in her hands. "You're joking…"
"Are you sure he was joking?" the black man glanced at her.
"I hope so," Gwen replied without taking her hand away from her face.
"Well, since we've sorted out my moral character, I suggest we return to this guy who came from a really lousy place," I rise to my feet, showing off the closed container.
- What do you mean? - the blonde immediately returned from the "house".
- In addition to the large number "42", it says "Alchemax" in small print. Considering what this company is, according to local sources, then we have either "test case 42", or "model 42", or "prototype 42", in general, something like that, possibly "project 42".
"What's wrong with that?" Morales didn't understand.
- That, oh my slow-witted friend, somewhere not far from your universe there is an office, which is quite possibly run by an "alternate Fisk", and he has a numbered project, which is a spider with super-soldier serum in its mandibles. Although this is not certain and the sample will need to be studied later in calmer conditions. Still, turning your victim into a killing machine instead of a tasty wineskin with yummy food is not very logical either from the point of view of evolution or from the concept of biological weapons. Unless he was raised as an ingredient, - I thoughtfully scratched my chin. - I wonder how they put this inscription? Did someone really tattoo the eight-legged one? Masochists and perverts... Or was it set in the genome, and he hatched like this? Hmm... - I glanced sideways at the guy. - Take off your clothes!
- W-what?! - He jumped back. And hung on the ceiling, yes. - W-why? Don't come near!
- Well, for some reason it seems to me that they thought very badly of me... - I sigh. - Calm down, I am only attracted to beautiful, smart girls with a strong character, - out of the corner of my eye I noticed how Gwen began to demonstratively study the obscene inscriptions on the walls. - And in general, I am the God of old, strict moral rules, no matter what illiterate Scandinavian perverted savages may make up about me, so I can kill you for hints of sexual interest in men.
"Then why do you need to undress me?" Miles was in no hurry to come down from the ceiling.
- To make sure that the spider bite didn't pass on a genetic marker and you didn't get a fancy tattoo on your back declaring that you're either a big fan or the rightful property of Alchemax. You know, those "ebony" dealers...
"Was that another racist joke?" the guy asked suspiciously.
- Yes, something like that. I see you've started to understand! - a heavy sigh was heard in response. But this guy still got down from the ceiling. And even let himself be examined.
- Well? Well, what's going on? - he urged us impatiently, lifting up his jacket and T-shirt.
- You're lucky - dark skin hides dark writing. Almost nothing is visible.
- What?! No-o-o-o! - panic-panic-panic.
"Don't listen to him! There's nothing there!" Gwen snorted angrily, but she still kept smiling.
- That's also a problem, by the way. How are you going to be a hero in tight spandex with such a figure? You should probably bulk up, otherwise you're just skin and bones, - I didn't miss the chance to "misunderstand" the girl's words.
"Everyone in my family is healthy anyway, so it will come on its own," Miles waved it off, putting his clothes back in place.
- Yeah, once you go through puberty, - Miss Stacy suddenly hit the guy. And judging by the way he winced, there was some very embarrassing story behind it... although... wait a minute...
– Is this somehow connected with that "putting a hand on the shoulder"?
"Oh yeah-ah…" Gwen confirmed.
"Oh no-o-o," Morales groaned, naturally turning black with shame… well, I mean, becoming even darker than he already was.
- Well, well, well... Let me guess, - I transfer the container with the spider to the subspace pocket, to all the other already collected samples, and pull the cane into my hand. - According to the original idea, it should have been something like... - I take a step towards Gwen and, catching her right paw with my free hand, I also catch her gaze and turn on charm over 9000. - Baby... I'm drowning in your eyes! - and more velvety intonations in my voice, after which I slowly kiss her fingers.
"Go to hell!" the blue-eyed blonde blushed like a tomato, taking her hand away, but she couldn't keep her face still, and it was trying to break into a treacherously stupid smile.
"Did I guess right?" I turn to the black man.
- Oy, leave me alone! - he waved his hand, turning away.
- By the way, do you know what I was thinking about? - twirling Gungnir between my fingers, I decide to change the subject.
"I hope it's not about how to hit on a girl who's a thousand years younger than you, according to you," Morales pouted without turning around. Ho, well, at least he knows how to listen and perceive what he hears.
"It's not a bad idea," I playfully wink at Gwen, to which she snorted, although she didn't stop smiling, "but I'm talking about something a little different."
- And what about? - the girl tilted her head to the side ironically.
– You see... But a spider's abdomen is not a back... – and now expressively slide your gaze over our guide's figure from top to bottom and stop your gaze.
- Eh?.. - Miss Stacy didn't understand at first, but when she turned in the direction I was looking and followed my gaze. - Oh! - she even sounded a little embarrassed.
- ... - the black man turned to us in confusion, saw the direction of our gaze, calculated something in his mind, lowered his eyes and... - I will not take off my pants!
"Thank you very much for this!" I thanked him with the most sincere expression. And while Gwen rolled her eyes and Morales was embarrassed, he thought deeply.
The phrase: "Property of Alchemax. The Big Man was here.", stylized as a brand - would that be a good joke or too much? I can leave the guy with an illusion that it will last for a week, during which he will definitely have time to check, but isn't that too much? Probably too much. Yeah. Bad Loki! Bad! Don't think about it! Don't think! Think about how you're going to clone Gwen! Yeah, that's a good idea. Exactly what I need. And if I ask permission, I can clone with the memory right away, and that won't cause any problems...
- Okay, - I return to reality, - we joked and that's enough. I suggest we go back.
- Aren't we going to the collider? - Stacey, noticing the change in tone, switched to a serious style.
"I promised Penny that we wouldn't start without her, and a real man can't deceive a cute anime girl," I assured, simultaneously creating my phantom outside the couple's sight and, under the additional masking illusion, directing it into the corridor that, according to Miles's earlier words, led to the place where the local Spider-Man died.
"It sounded…" Gwen said, clearly wanting to tease me a little.
"Got it?" I prompted with a smile.
"It wasn't me who said that," the girl smiled.
- Oh, this human disbelief... But the purest feelings, left over from the nineties, are speaking in me! People born in the era of good graphics and well-rehearsed staging of battle scenes will not understand this, - I finished my thought, putting on more importance and, swinging my cane sparkling with adamantium, headed for the exit.
"You speak like an old man," the blonde followed.
- Oh, you're wounding me to the very heart! - I assured pathetically. - But I do have... cubes... on my abs, - and now play with my eyebrows.
- I actually went to the gymnastics section. What a surprise, - Gwen returned the serve.
- The situation is getting dangerous! Do I really have no chance?
"Definitely," the beauty confirmed, grinning from ear to ear.
- Look, man, she just turned down God, - I glance sideways at Morales. - Learn - this is how cool a proper Spider-Man should be.
- Yes, yes, I understand, - the black man agreed, slumping his shoulders like the most unfortunate victim of discrimination, dragging himself after us. - God, how can a creature that has passed the age of a thousand behave like this... like this... like this?! - he shook his head. How often do I get asked this question...
- It's all about your Abrahamic model with the Absolute Deity. You've invented a martyr idol for yourself, and now you're indignant that reality doesn't match it. Gods are fundamentally no different from people. Yes, we can do much more, but that doesn't mean we're incapable of experiencing and understanding the feelings available to you. Besides, the human brain degrades over time, which is what causes problems with satiety. But I don't have such problems.
"That's why you hit on girls who are a good thousand years younger than you?" the black "playboy" persisted.
– For your information, it was just a light flirtation, not sexual harassment with long-term goals, no matter what your American laws allow. In any case, we will scatter to different universes, so there can be no talk of anything serious, but I can allow myself to leave a couple of pleasant memories for the charming cutie, which I do exclusively sincerely and from the heart. That's one. Further, I did not hear any complaints from the lady - that's two. Well, for your information, I came from a very disgusting universe, where in the entire galaxy there are only three really pretty girls comparable to our lovely companion, one of whom is only ten years old. So Gwen's company is like a balm for a wounded soul for me. And yes, that's three. And now let's get back to the base - great things await us tomorrow.
"Okay," Gwen sighed, looking away and clearly not wanting to bring up the topic of flirting with an ancient Scandinavian deity.
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