After yet another lecture from Alistair, the children were sent off to bed. Kieran had his own bedroom here, but they trudged to Evie's room.
Hirik had already gone home to his parents. Sometimes he stayed in the castle with them, but there was no way he would be allowed tonight.
"Don't lie on my bed," Evie said when she saw Tai about to flop onto it. "Bath first. All of us."
Tai groaned but made to head back to his own room to have a bath filled. Kieran leaving to do the same. They did reek of sweat and cow shit. A bath was the right idea.
Evie summoned a servant to have the bath filled, eager to get the stink of shit off her skin.
Sinking into the hot water behind her divider, she could hear her handmaid out in her room, getting her clothes ready.
It was nice to have Kieran back. She always missed him when he was away.
She scrubbed her body of the filth, washing it out of her hair before taking a deep breath and sinking under the water. They really should have known better about today. She'd let her hurt win, let it drive her to do something stupid. Again.
She hated that people thought of her the way they did. She knew her mere existence hurt people, offended them. Short of not existing, she didn't know what to do about it. Of course she had thought about leaving, taking Kieran up on his offer of disappearing and exploring the world free from their parents, the court, the expectations, the judgements, and the vast shadows of their parents reputations.
Kieran had talked about it before, especially when he'd had a particularly difficult time with his mother. And sometimes, the thought of disappearing, being nameless, faceless normal people and forging their own path, it sounded tempting. She could sing in taverns and squares, and Kieran was smart; he could do anything. They'd have to be careful with him being a mage, but he was a talented mage; he could control himself. She didn't think they would need to worry about any accidental magic or possession.
When her lungs started burning too hot for her to handle, she sat up, taking in a deep lungful of air. She lay back against the porcelain, sliding down until only her nose and everything above it was out of the water. Tendrils of her long golden hair floated about her face, and she had to push them out of the way to avoid being suffocated by them.
She heard the door to her quarters open and assumed it was one of the boys. They weren't the most... enthusiastic about bath time. Evie, however, loved lounging about in the bath until it was too cold to stay.
"I'm still in the bath," she called out. "You should be too. We've been scrubbing cow dung all day; a quick dip in the tub isn't going to cut it."
"I have not been scrubbing dung all day," she heard her father's voice from the other side of the divider. "I am pleased to see you encouraging the boys to maintain proper hygiene."
She let out an amused hum. "I'm not sure what use it will be."
She heard his soft chuckle before it died. "Listen, Evie, I wanted to talk to you about today, what you might have heard."
She heard the creak of one of the wooden chairs just beyond the divider as he sat down.
"What I heard?" She asked, trying to sound confused.
"Don't play dumb, sweetheart; it doesn't suit you," he said. "The Arl must have said some... unkind things."
"His wife, more so."
"Word is she's quite the vicious harpy."
Evie stood up, getting out of the bath and drying herself, and dressed into her nightgown and robe. When she came out from behind the divider, her father stood up, giving her that almost boyish smile of his. It was a smile she'd only seen reserved for family, unguarded, not meant to charm or disarm. Just pleasure at being around his family.
He was a great king, and Evie thought part of that was because he never wanted to be. He was a great father too, and he'd never given her any reason to think he might not have wanted to be one. He was her father, and she loved him.
"I'm sorry for whatever you heard," he said, taking her hands in his.
"What... will you do with me?" She asked him.
"What do you mean?"
"The Arl and his wife said I might be able to land a wealthy merchant or lesser noble who wants a connection to the crown."
"Evie..." he sighed, turning her hand and running his thumb over the name of her soulmate. "I would never condemn you to a marriage you do not want. Your happiness is integral to my own."
He pulled her into a hug, and she pressed her face into his chest, comforted by the familiar sense of safety he was always able to envelop her in. She hugged him back tightly.
The door to her rooms opened, and Tai and Kieran stood there, looking a little uncomfortable at being caught coming here when likely they were supposed to go to their rooms and stay there.
"For the love of the Maker, please don't get into anymore trouble," Alistair said, letting Evie go. "At least not for the next few days. I am begging you."
"We're just... catching up," Kieran said. "We were so busy today we didn't have time."
"Busy is one word for it," his tone was snide. "No more trouble."
He made his way to the door, pulling Kieran into a tight hug as he passed.
"I'm glad you're here, Kieran. It's always good to see you. How is your mother?"
"Same as always."
Alistair chuckled at that, letting Kieran go and patting Tai on the shoulder on his way out.
"Be good," he said, heading down the hallway.
"What trouble could we possibly get up to in here?" Tai asked, closing the door.
"I think he's worried we won't stay here," Kieran pointed out.
"We're in our nightclothes. Out is the last place I'd want to be seen."
Tai flopped onto Evie's bed; Kieran climbed onto it as well, sitting cross-legged. Evie went to her bookshelf, finding the titles she thought Kieran might be interested in, and brought them to him before flopping down beside Tai.
She knew it was inappropriate to have boys in her room unchaperoned; if her reputation wasn't already in the sewers, this certainly wouldn't help matters. Everyone in the castle knew how close they all were, that it was more of a familial bond between them all. What people knew of Kieran, she didn't know. Speculation did run rampant. Some people believed him to be Alistair's son. Others thought that he might have been the bastard son of Cailan given the family resemblance. And that was why Alistair gave him a room in the castle and treated him as one of his own.
Hers and Kieran's existence did no favours for their father's reputation, but still he kept them close, treated them as a father should, and didn't let what people might say about him bother him or change the way he treated them.
But, being bastards, they weren't held to the same standards as trueborn children. It was one of the perks.
Her door swung open again, and their little brother stood there, grinning from ear to ear.
"Kieran!"
He ran over, hugging Kieran tightly, which he returned.
"Hello, Ben," Kieran greeted.
"Father told me you were here. I also heard you flooded Arl Verus's house with cows."
"I'm surprised Father would tell you that," Evie said.
"He didn't. Everybody knows about it. Mother is furious."
Tai chuckled quietly into the blanket. "We breathe wrong, and she's furious."
Evie shot him a silencing look. Queen Anora's actions and feelings weren't Ben's fault. And she didn't want him made to feel bad about them. Because he would. As he'd gotten older, he had become more aware of the wall Queen Anora had tried to erect between him and his half-siblings. But she was his mother, and he loved her. He was in a difficult position too, through no fault of his own.
"I thought it sounded hilarious," Ben said, sitting on the edge of the bed.
Tai sat up. "It was. It was hilarious."
"A lot less hilarious when Father made us clean it," Kieran pointed out.
Ben winced in sympathy.
"Benedict."
They all tensed, turning their gazes to Queen Anora in the doorway and scrambling to their feet. Kieran and Tai bowed, while Evie curtsied, head bowed so she couldn't see her.
"Yes, Mother?"
"Come, it's time for your evening prayers."
"Goodnight, Ben," Evie whispered as he left.
Kieran and Tai bid him the same. He closed the door on his way out, and both Evie and Kieran looked to Tai. Evie whacked him on the shoulder, and Kieran biffed a pillow at him.
"Ow. What!?" He asked, curling up defensively.
"You can't say stuff like that about his mother to him," Evie said.
"It just slipped out. Besides, he knows what she's like."
"He doesn't need to feel like he has to take sides," Kieran told him, Evie nodding her agreement.
"Fine. I'll be more careful in future," he promised.