Wu Zhen was both a simple and strange young man.
He was strange in his interests but within those interests he was very simpleminded. Wu had but one passion in life: to fight.
The thrill of combat always called to him without fail.
However, unfortunately for Wu Zhen, he was a Shaolin Monk in training.
Wu Zhen loved the idea of being a Shaolin Monk, guiding people spiritually, protecting wandering travelers along the roads from bandits, it sounded amazing!
But life could not be farther than that at the temple. Day after day just meditating and training with oversized sticks.
But this quiet life would soon come to an end in a way that he certainly did not wish for.
Every day starts the same for me.
I wake up, I take a dump, brush my teeth, brush my hair, and then get dressed.
Oh wait, I don't have any hair to brush, because I am a Shaolin Monk!
I desperately hate my lack of hair because my hair used to be ah-mah-zing. All of the women at the brothel used to come up to me like,
"Wow, Wu Zhen what to you do to your hair? It's so healthy and gorgeous!"
But now I have no hair. No hair at all. I'm bald. I'm never getting married. Not that I could get married. Because again, I'm a Shaolin Monk.
I hate my life.
"Wu Zhen! Stop writing in your dairy and get out here!" Shouted a voice outside our barracks.
I sauntered out with a rather unpleasant but very accurate face for my teenager self to have saying, "It's not a dairy it's my journal."
The man who made the command to me made that very sour face that people make when they don't quite understand what is wrong with you. "Just sit down and do morning meditations with all of the other trainees."
I made a mocking face and threw up my hands as I walked over to sit next to a very chubby boy.
But this is not any chubby boy, this is the chubby boy I convinced to become a Shaolin Monk with me.
Ahh, the irony!
"Hey, uh, say Wu maybe you should be more respectful to the more senior monks around, cause you know uh, when you act like that we both end up getting extra laps and uh, y'know I'm not exactly built for running right now per se." mumbled my very chubby neighbor.
I started to pick my nose with my pinky finger to look like a moron, "Heh heh, it is funny when they say 'Wu! You need to stop disrespecting us elders! Take your chubby friend with you and run extra! Buddha knows he needs it!'"
I mimed them wheezing, "And then they all start choking on their laughter in their geriatric age!"
My chubby neighbor squirmed a little in his meditative position, "I would really like it if they would just call me my name, I mean I correct them every time but they never call me Bao Long!"
I giggled a little to myself, flicking the treasure I had found taking refuge in my nose, "Remember when they couldn't believe your name was Bao Long when we came here, that was so hilarious. They said there was no part of you that was treasure or dragon!"
Bao Long made a cringing face as he reminisced in one of the worse moments of his adolescent life while imagining the same thing, I, Wu Zhen, giggled, taking great amusement from my friend's misfortune.
*Tap* *Tap*, I turned to look over my shoulder with a very idiotic gaping mouth to see a very old man with incredibly ornate robes and a staff with a spade at one end and a crescent at the other standing adjacent to me.
"I see you and your friend Bao Long are having quite a lot of fun during meditation time Wu Zhen!" said the very very, very old man.
"Huh" I choked on my words briefly, "Uh Abbot Zhi Hui, me and my friend were just reminiscing on our first day here and about our excited fervor for today's training." I stumbled out quite quickly.
The old man smiled and patted my shoulder, "Well it is enjoyable to think back to good times. I think you might should aim to do it in a less obvious way during morning meditation though." He said before walking through the walkway up to his seat at the front of the crowd.
I turned back to Bao Long intensely meditating which caused me to make a disgusted face before I put my hands together and joined in the mind numbing morning meditations.
I, Wu Zhen, am the best trainee at Bo Staff combat.
However, my stupid teachers think my style is 'unnatural' and 'unfit' for a Monk. But I, think its kick-ass, and I think you'll think that too.
After morning meditations we train with Bo Staff next to the courtyard in the center of our temple.
Here, I take my stage.
Today I'm sparring with one of the higher ranked monks so he can show me the 'Inadequacies of my technique'.
The man circles me with his staff in hand pointed towards me.
I begin spinning my own staff in my hands while he does so.
Then he makes his move, and so do I.
As he raises his staff to strike I flick my staff up slightly and flip myself upside down and continue the spin of my staff with my feet before pushing off the ground with my arms and pushing down on my staff catching my foe's staff and trapping it to the ground bringing our faces inches apart in the process.
"Hi," I say, grinning ear to ear, smacking him lightly on the cheek.
As the instructor and I argue about my tactics and 'lack of genuine skill' hushed murmurs form from everyone else gathering around the courtyard.
"An outsider?"
"He has an ancient weapon?"
I join Bao Long at the edge glancing at the courtyard and then back at him, "What's happening?"
Bao Long keeps his eyes forward before saying,
"Him."
Pointing to a man who had just entered the courtyard.
The crowd grew louder with people whispering and murmuring about the stranger's arrival. The voices grew silent as the Abbot entered the courtyard.
"I assume you are here to challenge our temple for the ancient weapon we guard here?" The Abbot asks the strange man standing at the entrance.
The man nodded, "I am Sir Oliver Pendragon of the Kingdom of Arthurnia, I have set out from my kingdom to journey and gather the great ancient weapons of the world."
He unsheathed the sword at his side, "This is the great sword of our kingdom, Excalibur, a sword that can only be gained by those true of will and heart, with this sword I will best you and lay claim to your weapon."
The crowd gasps and harsh whispers begin filling the temple once more.
The Abbot, for the first time in many years takes off his robes and opens his eyes into a very stern and serious look.
"Well then sonny, I guess it's about time we get to business."