Shu Mingye sipped the air, because tea was no longer safe and watched them with a strange mix of amusement… and just a little bit of fear. Because who knew? Next time, he might be the herb.
Song Meiyu suddenly straightened up. Her tone was bright, her spine stiff, her soul clearly already halfway dead. "Alright, Master!" she chirped. "Don't worry. We'll find the herbs, and we're definitely not going to fall into any swamp!"
Master Yin Xue's cheerful but suspicious voice floated out of the jade. "Why not?"
The four of them all wore the same exact face—tight smile, distant eyes, visible trauma.
Because we already did, Master.
But no one said that out loud.
Song Meiyu's smile twitched violently. "Oh no! I left my herbs soaking in the wrong jar. They'll explode. I have to go, Master. Bye!"
Without waiting for a reply, she shoved the spirit transmission jade so deep into her sleeve it could've ended up in another dimension.
They all exhaled at once, as if holding the jade had been a life-threatening experience. Then, in eerie unison, four heads slowly turned to look at Shu Mingye.
He sat up straighter, alarm bells going off in his head. For the first time in his life, he flinched.
Wait. Was this how people felt when they looked at him? Because now, faced with these four swamp lunatics, he was starting to understand.
He swallowed. "What?"
Linyue gave him a perfectly neutral stare. "Do you like swamps?"
He blinked. What kind of sudden question was that? Why did it feel like there was only one right answer, and even that one might end with him covered in moss and regret? Were they going to throw him in? With these people, it was entirely possible.
Trying not to sound suspicious or like a potential swamp victim, he said cautiously, "What herbs are you looking for?"
Yes. Yes, let's go with helpful. Helpful and harmless. The safe zone.
Song Meiyu gave a wicked smile. Then she yanked out a scroll with a spin. A very long scroll. It unfurled with a dramatic thud on the table, kept rolling... and rolling… and kept going until it hit him in the lap. He stared at the absurd length of the list. The scroll had illustrations. Color-coded illustrations. Little sketches of rare herbs, each with long, complicated names.
"This is what Master wants," Song Meiyu said sweetly.
Shu Mingye blinked slowly. "…Why are there claw marks on this one?"
"Oh. That one bites," she said cheerfully. "Very spirited herb. Likes ankles."
He slowly pushed the scroll a polite inch away from his body.
He Yuying leaned over. "We already got half of these. The other half are in places that usually involve screaming."
"Or sinking," Shen Zhenyu added, expression grim. He pointed at one herb with a skull symbol drawn next to it. "That one grows in a bog that smells like rotten eggs."
"Very good for skin," Song Meiyu added helpfully. "Probably."
His eye twitched. This… this was what he got for trying to be helpful? This was the price of survival? It was too late for regret now.
He coughed lightly. "I'll… ask some people to find them."
The four nodded in unison, completely satisfied. Then they picked up their cups and began sipping again.
Shu Mingye stared at them.
Had they just turned him, the King of Shulin, the ruler of a state, into their errand boy?
Yes. Yes, they had. And worse, he volunteered.
He slumped slightly. Forget it. Common sense clearly didn't apply here. Not when these people existed.
Then Linyue asked, "About General Zimo…"
Shu Mingye sighed and rubbed his temples. "He's in prison. Do you want to keep him here? Or send him to the east?"
"East," Linyue replied immediately. "Master Yin Xue will be happy."
So we will suffer less, her eyes seemed to say, but her mouth politely stayed shut.
"I'll have him delivered. Nicely wrapped," Shu Mingye said automatically. The words left his mouth before his brain had a chance to stop them. He froze.
Wait. Did he just offer again? He was losing control. This was dangerous. If he stayed with them any longer, his brain might start agreeing with this nonsense.
"Put a bow on it," Song Meiyu added helpfully. "Master Yin Xue likes presentation."
Shu Mingye gave her a slow, empty look. "Keep talking and I'll personally test the wrapping on one of you."
Song Meiyu gasped, her hands covered her mouth in horror.
Then Linyue, without a hint of humor or sarcasm, looked at him and said, "Thank you. For helping. Definitely not for the test wrapping."
Shu Mingye blinked.
Oh. She actually said thank you.
… Alright, fine. He'd let it slide this time. But only because she used manners. Not because he liked the way her voice sounded when she said thank you. Not because he was enjoying this. Not at all. Definitely not.
After thinking for a long, painful moment, Shu Mingye finally looked straight at Linyue. "Don't you owe me an explanation?" he asked.
"About what?"
He gave her a flat look. "Let's start with imperial palace. Did you… perhaps do something else besides kidnapping a general?"
Like setting something on fire? Blowing up a wall? Replacing the emperor with a cabbage? He wisely didn't say that out loud.
"Oh," Linyue said, tilting her head slightly. "Not much."
Not much? What exactly did "not much" mean in her dictionary? Because last he checked, kidnapping a general wasn't on the "minor activities" list.
Before he could demand clarification, Song Meiyu leaned forward. Her eyes sparkled. Her grin widened. And then, she launched into the full story.
She explained everything. Everything. The plan. The disguises. The part where Shen Zhenyu pretended to be Shu Mingye and somehow didn't get caught. Her own debut as a fake princess. The little fires. The big fires. Her hands cut through the air wildly, her voice swelled with passion, eyes gleaming, and at one point, she even mimed the explosion sound effects.
Shu Mingye just sat there. Motionless. His brain had completely shut down.
This group. They weren't just bold. They were insane. They had infiltrated the imperial palace, impersonated royals, committed multiple crimes in a row, and walked out with not just a general, but also tea and snacks. He didn't know whether to applaud or start writing his will.
Then He Yuying, who had been quiet the whole time, looked up from his teacup and added helpfully, "You forgot the part where we stole pastries from the imperial kitchen."
Song Meiyu gasped. "Right! That one! They were delicious."
Shen Zhenyu gave a quiet, long-suffering sigh.
Shu Mingye slowly turned his head and stared at them. The number of crimes just kept going up and they looked proud of it.
He turned to Shen Zhenyu, the supposedly serious one. "Then… did anyone come? To check?"
Shen Zhenyu nodded. "Of course. A lot of people dropped by from time to time."
Shu Mingye narrowed his eyes. "And… they didn't realize you were fake?"
Shen Zhenyu gave a lazy shrug. "Just like Linyue told me. I gave them the death glare, like I was thinking about murdering everyone. Then they left."
That… actually worked?
Suddenly, everything made sense. That night, when he left the imperial palace, no one had stopped him. No guards. No summons. Not even a nosy minister. Why? Because they all probably thought he was still in his chambers, sipping imaginary tea and glaring at anyone brave enough to knock. And since no one could tie him to the chaos and there was an emergency in Shulin, keeping him would've looked suspicious. Too risky. Too political. Better to let the angry, brooding King go home and hope he didn't come back.
He leaned back slightly. Then came the question. The one that had been nagging him. He looked at Linyue. "Why did you help me?"
Linyue answered without missing a beat. "Because it's fun."
He paused. That was it? Was that really her reason? Or was she just messing with him again?
Honestly, it could go either way. Then again… thinking about it now. If he could've seen the emperor's face when the report came in. Yeah. That would be fun. Not that many people dared to do things "for fun" when the imperial court was involved.
Did she have a grudge against the emperor? Or the entire imperial family? He wisely chose not to ask. Something told him she wouldn't give a straight answer. Or worse—she would, and it'd be even more terrifying.
He decided to move on to the next question. "Why did you come here pretending to be the real one?"