*Day 21 - The Ghul'rok Fortress*
The Ghul'rok fortress loomed ahead, flesh and bone twisted into architectural nightmare. The allied forces prepared for what would likely be their deaths.
Spun-Duh, however, had stopped moving entirely.
"ADVANCE!" Kaelen shouted.
"Can't," Spun-Duh whispered, reverent. "Corpus Decompositus. Growing right there on the skull-wall."
"We're about to storm a fortress of the damned—"
"THE RAREST NECRO-FUNGUS IN EXISTENCE!" Spun-Duh was already pulling out collection vials. "This specific strain hasn't been documented in four hundred years! Look at the spore pattern! Magnificent!"
An arrow whistled past his head. He didn't notice.
"The mycelial structure is actually breaking down the bone at a molecular level while simultaneously preserving the marrow channels. Do you understand what this means?"
"THAT WE'RE GOING TO DIE?" Ora grabbed him.
"That death-based decomposition can be reversed! This fungus is eating death itself! The implications for the plague cure—"
A Ghul'rok charged. Spun-Duh absently swung his hammer, crushing its skull, never taking his eyes off the mushroom.
"See how the sporocarp oscillates between existence and non-existence? It's partially growing in the spirit realm!"
The battle erupted around them. Swords clashed, magic exploded, people died. Spun-Duh carefully scraped samples with the delicacy of a surgeon.
In the chaos, the Five Constants moved with purpose. Sicc'ius had built barricades that somehow held against impossible odds. Ky'arah saved those who should have died. Thom'duhr's knowledge of ancient weaknesses turned the tide in key moments. And F.D... F.D. appeared wherever the battle was about to turn, always tipping the balance just enough.
"SPUN-DUH! HELP!"
"Busy! This is a once-in-four-centuries opportunity!"
Three Ghul'rok surrounded him. He sighed, enormously put upon, and spun his hammer in a devastating arc that sent them flying. Then immediately returned to his fungus.
"The pH level of the growth medium suggests—WILL YOU STOP BLEEDING ON MY SAMPLE?" He glared at a dying enemy. "Blood contamination ruins the spore viability!"
Kaelen was being overwhelmed. Spun-Duh noticed, groaned, charged over, saved him with a perfectly executed combat maneuver, then ran back to his mushroom.
"Almost got it... just need the root structure..."
The fortress gate exploded. Vorgoth himself emerged.
"FINALLY," the God-Eater boomed, "WORTHY OPPONENTS—"
"SHUT UP!" Spun-Duh roared. "I'M DOING SCIENCE!"
Everyone stopped. Even Vorgoth.
"Did... did the dwarf just tell me to shut up?"
"The acoustic vibrations from your voice are disrupting the spore release pattern! Four hundred years I've waited to see this fungus, and you're ruining it with your villainous monologue!"
"I am the God-Eater, the End of—"
"You're a mycological disaster is what you are! Your corruption field is causing premature sporulation! Look!" He pointed at the fungus, which was indeed behaving erratically. "It's stress-releasing because of your wrongness field! Decades of growth ruined!"
Vorgoth actually looked at the mushroom. "It's just a fungus."
Wrong thing to say.
Spun-Duh's face went purple. "JUST A FUNGUS? JUST A FUNGUS?! This is Corpus Decompositus Majora, the Grave-Denied Mushroom! It exists simultaneously in five dimensional states! Its spores can cure soul-rot! Its mycelium connects the living and the dead! And you... you AGRICULTURAL CATASTROPHE... are killing it with your presence!"
He charged Vorgoth.
Not for glory. Not for justice. Not for his friends.
For a mushroom.
"FOR MYCOLOGY!" he screamed, hammer spinning.
The impact actually staggered the God-Eater. Not because of strength, but because of the sheer, incomprehensible absurdity of being attacked over a fungus during an epic battle.
"Are you seriously—"
"DEADLY SERIOUS!" Spun-Duh was taking more samples even while dodging. "This specimen could revolutionize our understanding of death-decomposition cycles!"
"I'LL SHOW YOU DEATH!"
"Excellent! Fresh corpses provide ideal growing medium! Try to die near the fungus!"
Ora watched this unfold, slack-jawed. "Is he... winning?"
Kaelen observed Vorgoth's increasingly frustrated attempts to kill someone who kept stopping mid-dodge to photograph mushrooms. "I... think he's annoying him to death?"
"Your combat stance is disturbing the air currents!" Spun-Duh criticized while parrying. "Spores disperse optimally in still air! Could you die more quietly?"
"I CANNOT BE DEFEATED BY—"
"By someone with actual priorities? Yes, clearly you can. Oh! OH! It's entering reproductive phase! Nobody move! NOBODY MOVE!"
Everyone froze. Even in the middle of a battle, the absolute authority in Spun-Duh's voice was compelling.
The fungus released a cloud of spores that glowed with impossible colors.
"Beautiful," Spun-Duh whispered, tears in his eyes. "Four hundred years of waiting. The texts were right. It really does sing during sporulation."
A tiny, haunting melody filled the air - the sound of death becoming life.
"I'm going to kill you now," Vorgoth said quietly.
"After I finish collecting samples."
"No, now."
"Thirty more seconds. The post-sporulation mycelium is crucial."
"NOW!"
"Twenty-eight seconds."
And somehow, impossibly, Vorgoth waited.
Because even a God-Eater recognized the authority of a specialist in his element.
Twenty-eight seconds later, samples secured, Spun-Duh stood. "Acceptable. You may resume your apocalypse. Try not to bleed on any more rare specimens."
The battle resumed. But something had changed. The forces of darkness had been forced to pause their world-ending invasion for a mushroom.
The absurdity of it would become legend.
But Spun-Duh didn't care. He had his samples.
Worth it.
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*End Chapter 19.5*
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*End Chapter 19.5*
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