The moment I glanced at your eyes, is the moment I fell in love with you. I couldn't help but feel captivated by those windows that held a person that I would be with for the rest of my life. I couldn't help but just stare at you from across the room. I turned away when you started to move your head, even when you're not about to look my way, but I still felt embarrassed. I held my hands underneath the table and sighed softly, pretending I was bored to death from the lecture. I looked up at the teacher and tried to listen to what he was saying, but I caught myself glancing back at you from time to time.
After class I hurriedly packed my bag and walked out of the room. It was the first day of college and I already had a crush on a stranger I never met. I kept on walking and rode a bus home, thinking of you all the way. Until I slumped on my bed and sighed deeply. Thinking to myself, "What is wrong with me?? Having a crush on that guy I never met???" and worst of all you were my classmates. I knew the rule of having a crush on your classmate. It doesn't end well of course. But I couldn't help but feel so attracted to you, instead of figuring out my feelings I just buried it deep inside and tried to forget about it… which I did. Having a bad memory has its perks sometimes.
After that day we went to our next class. On the first day of that class we introduced ourselves to everyone, and that's how I knew your name. It was common but somehow for some reason, I wanted to get to know you better. And in the second week our teacher made us stand and talked about something that she discussed but I wasn't even listening… I talked about whatever was on my mind and moved my hands around because that's how I talk but the teacher got mad at me saying If I was some kind of reporter for moving my hands and accidentally pointing at her. I got embarrassed and glanced at you hoping you wouldn't look at my face, but right now I couldn't remember if you were looking or just minding your own business.
The only times we talked or noticed each other was our group in that subject, you would joke and I would laugh like an idiot. And right now as I look back I feel so embarrassed to laugh like that. But you called it cute because that was the time we talked to each other, the first time we talked to each other. And I even congratulated you for the first time when you reported our group with another groupmate. You were the only one I congratulated and I didn't even know why. And after a few months or weeks I start to forget that I had a crush on you and developed a crush on two other guys in our class, but that didn't last. You were the only one that lasted in my heart but I was in denial. Because how could I just have a crush on a guy immediately on day one. That would be crazy of me… but you like it when I'm crazy and weird. And I love how you didn't judge me for that.
The two guys I had a crush on had their own lives, one I never even talked to and the other was focused on his friends. And both of them had a crush of their own. Which made me think, do you have a crush on someone or do you have a girlfriend already? I wanted answers. That's why I always attended the days where we had to make our group project which made us stay in our classmates' dorm to make a Japan themed booth and food. I kept on looking at you, and I'm glad you didn't notice me. I found something about you which surprised me because I didn't know that you were capable of doing it. But I promised to myself that I wouldn't tell anyone, because after you met me you said you stopped. Which made me all giddish and happy inside
Our encounters kept on coming but slowly, and my feelings kept on creeping back up on me day by day when I talk or look at you. I can't help but want to talk to you and just tell you how much I love you. One time when we went home from a long day of making the frame for our project, we walked together side by side. I stopped in my tracks without telling you and a few feet away you stopped and waited for me. I walked up to you and we started walking when I was back by your side. I didn't think about it that much but right now, I'm curious as hell as to why you waited for me. It could be just instinct because I would always wait for someone behind me, but we weren't that close and our other classmate didn't even stop to wait for you or me, but you waited for me. I wonder why.
Once we went home I fell asleep so soundly that I almost woke up late for the next day. But I felt refreshed.