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Chapter 64: Stop Pretending
"Hey, buddy, I don't know what you're talking about."
Shane moved closer to Shawn, not planning on admitting anything. He kept glancing back at the camp, and only after seeing that Rick was still there and hadn't followed did he let out a small sigh of relief.
"Stop pretending with me, Shane."
"Take a look. How many people in the camp don't know that you and Lori used to be together?"
"It's just that nobody wants to offend you, and there's no benefit in saying it. Lori really did need a man at the time, so everyone just let you two be."
"Haven't you noticed that every time you two go off alone, no one except Carl ever comes looking for you?"
Shawn shouldered his hammer again, bluntly laying everything bare. Not to mention the current Shane hadn't turned to the dark side. Even if he had, so what? Shawn's Strength attribute was now maxed out. If Shane could still take him down at this level, Shawn would cup his fists, call him a hero, and admit defeat.
"We didn't mean to. I thought Rick was dead back then…" Shane's eyes flickered; his mind was clearly a mess.
"Alright, alright. I'm not blaming you. What are you so nervous for?"
Shawn had no intention of letting Shane get lost in his own thoughts and make the situation worse. There are usually many sides to an issue. The outcome of this particular issue depended mainly on how the people involved faced and handled it. Shane's temper was already impatient and irritable, which was why he had gone to extremes after killing Otis and turning to the dark side.
On the lawn, Shawn walked in front, and Shane followed behind. They didn't stop until they reached the farthest side of the camp, by the chain-link fence. The only thing here was the aimless wandering of walkers, so it was as if no one could hear them.
"There's no one else here, and I won't be the one to tell the camp about our conversation. So I'll be direct with you, Shane."
Shawn placed his hammer on the ground, its handle pointing straight up.
"I don't know what you think of me. Maybe you're hostile toward me; or you think I'm destabilizing the camp; or maybe my arrival has shaken your authority in the group…"
With every sentence Shawn spoke, Shane couldn't help but lower his head a little more. He was shocked! Every word Shawn said seemed to hit on his secret thoughts, exposing him completely under the open sky. For a moment, he was even a little confused. Why was Shawn, who clearly didn't pay much attention to him, able to see through him so completely?
"And when I showed goodwill to Lori and took Carl out to train and have an adventure alone, you probably had the heart to kill someone."
Seeing Shane quickly look up to deny it, Shawn interrupted irritably, "Don't say you didn't, Shane. In a way, we're the same kind of person. Of course, I know what you're thinking."
Of course, he knew. When he had taken Carl out and taught him like a son, a part of it had been to deliberately piss Shane off.
Hearing this, Shane pursed his lips and swallowed the words he had been about to say. He suddenly remembered what had happened during the day. Shawn had stood up to Dale's pressure for him and then executed the last prison guard without hesitation.
If anyone else in the team had done that, they would have been criticized and blamed by the others. That was why Shane had been so annoyed when Dale had stepped out, spouting his moral pressure. He wasn't good at handling these things. But at that moment, Shawn had stepped up. And Shawn just so happened to be the one person in the group who could do whatever he wanted without anyone objecting.
Not only did Shane know this, but Old Dale knew it too. That was why, under Shawn's pressure, Dale had reined in his 'pity and morality', which were worthless in the apocalypse.
'Maybe we really are the same kind of person?' Shane couldn't help but repeat in his heart.
The moonlight made their hair shine. At this moment, a rare scene occurred. Shawn stood with his arms crossed, looking up at Shane, an indescribable expression in his eyes.
And Shane? He had actually, rarely, lowered his head in front of Shawn. His sturdy body was as tense as it had been back in 'Boy Scout summer camp'.
Seeing Shane waver, Shawn quickly struck while the iron was hot. "And it's not just me who knows. The people in the camp know, and even Rick himself knows."
"Lori probably confessed, right? I'm not too surprised by that."
Shane took a breath and let it out in a long, dejected sigh. "Why would you think that you and Lori could hide things from Rick?" Shawn asked in return.
"Wait, you're saying… Rick knew all along?!" Shane looked up, staring at Shawn in disbelief.
"Rick's magnanimity is beyond what ordinary people can compare to. That's why when I'm not around, the others in the camp will subconsciously follow his arrangements."
"That's right. Rick had already vaguely guessed everything, but he never intended to bring it up."
"Because he understands that it wouldn't just destroy you; it would also destroy Lori, destroy Carl, and destroy their family."
"Rick profoundly understands that for some things, simply happening and existing has a completely different outcome from being made public."
"He still remembers your friendship, Shane."
"Rick still considers you his brother even after knowing all this. He doesn't want to destroy his family, and he doesn't want to destroy you."
As Shawn's voice fell, Shane subconsciously looked back. He could faintly see that in the distant camp, Rick had stood up and was looking in their direction.
"But what can I do!" Shane turned back, suddenly letting out a pained roar. He clutched his head, his mind filled with thoughts of Lori.
His roar attracted the walkers outside the fence. The noise of two or three of them slapping against the fence made Shane even more agitated. But just then, a strong and powerful hand rested on his shoulder.
Shane's body trembled. He looked up, and what met his eyes was Shawn's slightly relaxed smile.
"I'll tell you what to do!"
"Look at the moonlight. Try to remember everything you did for the camp when Rick wasn't around."
"At that time, you protected everyone. You shouldered the responsibility, so you had a power that no one else had."
As Shawn's voice softened, Shane's expression gradually relaxed. He stared at a sliver of moonlight, his eyes dazed, gradually returning to that time.
"You protected Lori and Carl. And if it weren't for the protective measures you left at the hospital, Rick might not have had the chance to wake up."
"Your sense of duty as a police officer and your friendship with your brother have never been lost."
"You just, with the collapse of civilization, gradually placed all of that onto Lori and Carl."
"So when Rick came back, safe and sound, you felt more and more pain, finding it difficult to choose."
Shawn stared intently at Shane's expression, guiding him step by step.
*****
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