Chapter 65: Emotional Breakdown
"But have you ever thought about it?" Shawn continued. "That this isn't actually what you want, and it's not what Lori wants either?"
Shane frowned slightly. Shawn's voice softened even more. "Under the influence of an unprecedented crisis, both you and Lori are actually running away."
"You've placed all your hopes on Lori and Carl, as if as long as they're alive, nothing you had has disappeared, and everything is the same as before."
"And Lori, a widow with a child trying to survive in the apocalypse, is just using you as an emotional crutch in a crisis."
"This isn't the real you. Lori already knows what she wants. You're the one who's still stuck in the same place."
Shane's eyes were dazed as he murmured, "But… what should I do?" At this moment, he was still thinking of Lori, but with less urgency and absoluteness.
"Look around you, Shane," Shawn said, spreading his hands. "Here, the Prison! This is where you can show your true abilities, the best place to anchor your lonely soul!"
"Your true value doesn't lie in possessing Lori or power, but here, in all the people who live here."
"But! But…" Shane's lips trembled, and he suddenly became agitated.
"But you still haven't realized the consequences of your obsession!" Shawn's voice overpowered Shane's.
"The struggle for power is determined by the struggle of consciousness!"
"The law of the jungle you believe in will let you thrive in this apocalypse, but it will only give you the ability to rule others through 'terror'."
"Because of power, you fight with Rick. You've already come to see Lori as an external manifestation of that power struggle."
"You mistakenly believe that by holding Lori in your hands, you have obtained power, that you have won the invisible struggle against Rick!"
"But in reality, everything you're doing is just pushing the team to the edge of a cliff."
"Shane, in this damn apocalypse, internal division is the same as collective suicide!!"
Shawn grabbed him by the collar, seeing everything in his eyes clearly. These were the eyes of a man whose last veil had been torn away, a look of shock mixed with a hint of shame. Perhaps even Shane himself was wondering why this man in front of him understood him even better than Rick.
Suddenly, Shawn let go of his collar.
"You say you still want to protect Lori, but do you even know what she's thinking?" Shawn asked, looking at him, the smell of alcohol wafting from his body.
"She said last time, she misses me. She… she still remembers the time we spent together!" Shane said, as if grasping at a last straw, desperately trying to prove the truth of his words to Shawn. His eyes darted around, staring at Shawn, not even noticing that his own voice had begun to tremble.
"Sigh—" Shawn let out a breath. He hadn't intended to stab Shane in the heart, but it seemed that if he didn't make things clear, Shane would just keep going back and forth.
"Is that really love?" Shawn's voice was like a thin sheet of ice.
Shane's heart dropped. An intense feeling of weightlessness drained all the color from his face.
"No… it can't be… she wouldn't…" Shane repeated, but his face grew paler and paler.
"When she needed to find support for herself and Carl, you should have known that she values family more than personal feelings."
"After Rick came back, Lori didn't choose to have a showdown with him. She chose to distance herself from you, to even draw a clear line between you!"
"Why did she change her mind later?"
"Why did she still approach you, knowing that Rick was there?"
"Why did she say those intimate things to you that were detrimental to the stability of her family?"
Shawn pressed on, completely cornering him, leaving him with no room to breathe.
"Don't push me, don't push me…" Shane clutched his head in pain and stumbled backward, like a little lamb being forced to the edge of a cliff by a big bad wolf.
But Shawn didn't stop there. The words he spoke were even more cutting.
"Because she's always been afraid of you! Because she knows you, she's afraid of you!"
"She's worried that your existence will threaten the stability of her 'family'."
"Her so-called reminiscence was just an excuse to keep you stable."
"But perhaps even she didn't expect that her words would have the opposite effect."
"Shane… Lori's pregnant, isn't she?"
'BOOM—!'
Thunder roared in Shane's mind! Shawn's words were like a bolt of lightning, shattering his consciousness! He stood rigid, his body even forgetting to tremble.
He didn't know how Shawn knew Lori was pregnant. Shawn had been out training with Carl at the time.
Shane wanted to retort. He wanted to shout: You've guessed it all wrong! But at this moment, he couldn't say a word.
Shawn ignored his expression and continued to guide him, adding more fuel to the raging fire in his mind.
"You want to protect Lori, but you don't realize that everything you're doing now is just continuing to hurt her!"
"This relationship, for Lori, is a quagmire she wants to escape but is powerless to."
"She's not in a much better place than you are. You're in pain… and she's in pain too!"
"When you desperately pursue a close relationship with her, aren't you just continuing to deepen her psychological burden, dragging her completely into the abyss!"
"A pregnant woman, under immense pressure, living in a team that is gradually disintegrating from within—what will her fate be in this apocalypse?"
"Shane, can you tell me?"
"TELL ME!" Shawn suddenly roared.
With a 'thump', Shane's body collapsed to the ground uncontrollably. At some point, his face had become covered in a thin layer of sweat. He gasped for breath, his heart feeling as if it were being crushed by a giant stone, making it almost impossible to breathe.
"She… she…"
Shane broke down. Perhaps for him at this moment, death would be a release. The look in his eyes as he gazed at Shawn was no longer fierce, but held a hint of pleading.
Because the man standing before him, whether in terms of strength, prestige in the team, or sheer presence, had completely crushed him. He was powerless to resist.
And it was because Shane's conscience still remained that he profoundly understood that everything Shawn said was right.
Seeing Shane completely broken, Shawn knew that tonight's goal had been achieved. He knelt, gently cradled Shane's head, not minding the sweat at all. His fingers, strong as iron, slid from the back of Shane's head to his neck.
Then, he squeezed lightly!
Shane's trembling body suddenly went still, and then, as if all his strength had left him, he went limp against Shawn.
"Alright, sleep now. Everything will be better tomorrow."
Shawn's tone relaxed, no longer as aggressive as before. He stood up and looked back. At some point, Rick was standing nearby. Seeing Shawn look over, he silently nodded. When he looked at Shane again, his eyes were filled with a complex emotion.
In this damn apocalypse, everyone needed their own release. Didn't they?
*****
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