Well, fuck the mother who birthed every last devil… Last night, I saw my life flash before my eyes like a cheap, bad comedy trailer.
I woke up with the light stabbing me in the face. The hard floor of my room was an uncomfortable reality, but not as uncomfortable as the weight of two girls clinging to my chest like depressed koalas. Life, apparently, went on.
"Woof."
Zeus, loyal as always, lets me know there's no more danger. So… do those things hunt at night? Or do they just hate the light like hungover vampires?
["Ummm…"]
The older vixen opens her eyes. She barely sits up, but her hand is still clamped onto my shirt as if I were a damn flotation device.
["Am I alive?"] —she murmurs, her voice hoarse from sleep and fear.
["Ohhh… and if you're dead, does that mean I'm in your heaven?"]
["Ha. Someone like me isn't going to heaven, you know."]
"Tsk…"
["Those things..."] —she said suddenly, ignoring my sarcasm, her tone now analytical—. ["Did they ignore us?"]
["Vixen, do you think you can kill that thing?"]
["Ahahaha."]
["Then don't ask stupid questions."]
["Sorry… and thank you."]
She calms down, but her hand doesn't let go of me. Let go, damn it.
A while later, the younger one woke up.
The result: I was trapped on the floor, serving as a human pillow for hours. Every time I tried to move, one of them would complain and cling on tighter. I was condemned to stroking their hair with my free hand until the sun was high in the sky and they finally detached themselves from me. Was I being nice? Ha, not a chance. I was immobilized. And it was humiliating.
...…..
["Let's begin the first emergency meeting of our happy little family,"] —I said, once we had lunch and normality seemed like an acceptable disguise.
"Woof."
["Yes!"] —the younger one responded, far too enthusiastically.
["Since when are we a family?"] —the older one replied, though without her previous hostility.
["Semen sacks don't get an opinion."]
["What did you say?!"]
["Don't fight…"]
The vixen, since the knife incident, seems more relaxed around me. She's easy to tease now. Good job, me.
["So, happy little family, any ideas on what to do?"]
"Woof."
["I think we should board up the windows."]
["All I care about is never going out at night again."]
["Sounds good. Also, making noise at night or turning on lights is forbidden, unless it's in a completely sealed room."]
["But… What if those things also come out during the day?"]
["No. I'm sure they don't."]
["How do you know?"]
A self-satisfied smile spread across my face. I enjoyed their uncertainty for a second, the group's expectant silence.
["Take a look at this."]
With a sharp sound, I dropped a notebook on the table. "PLACK." It was a cheap school notebook, with a half-bent spiral and a cover plastered with dark anime and skull stickers. In the center, written in permanent marker, bore a title: "MONSTER JOURNAL."
["HUH? A light novel?"]
["It's not a damn novel. A while ago, I compiled information from hundreds of websites, noting down mythical creatures, their characteristics, weaknesses, strengths, and origins. I even classified them by danger levels."]
["OHHH, brother, you're so cool!"]
["Ughhh," that's why your girlfriend left you.]
["Sister…"] —Alicia looked at Carolain, a mixture of reproach and a hint of amusement showing in her eyes.
Damn it…