Here I am. Sitting on my bedroom floor at three in the morning, with tears that refuse to stop falling, wondering how the hell I got to this point.
My name is Alexander Rasis, I'm twenty-one years old, I'm a Bearer of a god that no one has been able to identify, and apparently I'm the easiest person to manipulate in all of New York. At least that's what my whole family must think now that they decided to believe a liar instead of listening to me.
But I guess I should start from the beginning. Or from where I really remember.
I grew up in Ra-Ma-Tec, a country that surely no mundane has heard of, a place that for many is beautiful but for me was nothing really. I grew up in the Rasis house until I was twelve years old. It's not that I keep many happy memories of that place—my parents were always too busy with important Bearer matters to pay me much attention. It was like living in a golden institution where everyone knew exactly what their place in the world was, except me. Even as a child I felt something didn't fit, as if I was wearing a mask I couldn't take off.
Everything changed when we moved to New York. Dad had been assigned to handle East Coast operations, and suddenly we found ourselves living in a completely different world. The New York fortress was more relaxed, less rigid than Ra-Ma-Tec. For the first time in my life, I could breathe.
That's where I met Adrian Tebas.
Adrian had grown up in the New York fortress since he was little, and from the moment we met, I knew I had found something I didn't know I was looking for. It wasn't just friendship—though that was important too. Adrian was... special. He had this way of making everything seem possible, of making even the grayest days feel full of happiness.
My sister Cali, Adrian, and I became inseparable. The three of us were like a complete package, always getting into trouble together, exploring secret corners of the fortress, inventing crazy theories about what gods might be protecting us. Adrian had this contagious laugh that could make me forget any worry, and Cali... well, Cali was always the bravest of the three.
But there was something else I couldn't tell anyone, something that terrified me to admit even to myself: I didn't see Adrian just as my best friend. I saw him as something more. Much more.
At fifteen, I discovered why.
I was in my room one morning when suddenly the air changed. Not literally—though maybe yes, a little. It was as if my body burned unbearably while a sweet and musky scent with hints of raspberries and chocolate began emanating from my skin, something I had never felt before but immediately knew was dangerous. I had read many times about these symptoms.
Omega pheromones.
I was paralyzed by pure terror. In Ra-Ma-Tec, being omega was practically a social death sentence. Well, not literally death, but the end of any life worth living. Omegas were treated like decorative objects, like intelligent pets that needed constant protection. They couldn't train, they couldn't fight, they couldn't make important decisions. They were... nothing.
And now I was one of them.
Luckily, my parents were so absorbed in their responsibilities that they didn't notice the change. That same night I snuck out to New York's supernatural district—yes, it exists, hidden in plain sight as always—and desperately searched for a solution.
I found it in a small shop run by a witch who looked about a hundred years old but acted like she was thirty. She sold me pheromone suppressors without asking questions, though she did make an observation that stuck with me.
"Your pheromones aren't very strong for an omega," she told me, examining me with eyes that seemed to see too much. "They should be more intense. Maybe you're a weak omega, which is lucky for you."
Weak omega. At that moment it sounded like a blessing. Now I wonder if it wasn't something completely different.
I took the pills religiously. Every morning, a small white pill that guaranteed I could continue living my normal life. No one ever suspected anything, and for me that was perfect. I could keep training with Adrian and Cali, I could keep being treated as an equal, I could keep pretending that my heart didn't race every time Adrian smiled at me.
At seventeen came the moment we all waited for and feared at the same time: the Identification Ceremony.
In Ra-Ma-Tec they did it very formally, with robes and elaborate rituals. In New York it was simpler: a special crystal in the center of the training room, and one by one we touched it to discover what god had chosen us.
Cali went first. She approached the crystal with that confidence that always characterized her, touched it, and immediately a gentle breeze filled the room. Shu, the god of air. Perfect for her—Cali had always been free as the wind.
Adrian was next. When his fingers touched the crystal, small golden lights began dancing around him, like miniature stars. Nut, the goddess of the night sky and stars. Also perfect—Adrian had always been the one who guided us when we were lost.
Then it was my turn.
I approached the crystal trying not to show my nervousness. Part of me was afraid that nothing would happen, that they would discover I was defective somehow. Another part was afraid of the opposite.
I touched the crystal.
At first, nothing. Just the cold of the surface against my palm. I thought maybe it was true, that I had no god protecting me. That it was rare, but not impossible.
Then came the lightning.
Not normal lightning—pure power lightning that shot out of the crystal and spread throughout the room like golden and red energy serpents. The pain in my head was instant and unbearable, as if someone was using a hammer to rebuild my brain from the inside.
The images came with the pain. Visions of ancestral wars, of gods fighting with a ferocity I had never imagined possible. Blood on golden sand. Roars that made mountains tremble. Two figures in the center of all the chaos, fighting.
I couldn't let go of the crystal. It was as if I was stuck to it, trapped in a loop of visions and pain that had no end. The heat in the room became suffocating, the air itself seemed to vibrate with energy that had no name.
Then Adrian pulled me back.
He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me away from the crystal by brute force, holding me against his chest while I trembled uncontrollably. I could feel his heart beating as fast as mine, I could smell his fear mixed with something else.
"Are you okay?" he whispered in my ear, and for a terrible moment I wanted to confess everything. I wanted to tell him the truth—that I was omega, that I loved him, that the visions had shown me things I didn't understand but that terrified me.
Instead, I just nodded against his shoulder. I wanted to cry but couldn't.
The supervisors couldn't identify what god had chosen me. The power demonstration had been clear—something incredibly powerful had responded to my touch—but it didn't fit any known pattern. They decided to catalog me as "Unknown Deity" and move on.
But I knew something had changed. I could feel it in my bones, in the way the world looked slightly different now.
The following days were revealing. My physical abilities developed quickly—strength, speed, sharpened senses like all Bearers. But there was something more. I moved like a feline now, with a fluid grace I didn't have before. My strength surpassed most of my companions, even some Alphas. Only Adrian and Cali could compete with me in training.
And something strange: my suppressors were no longer necessary. My pheromones had practically disappeared, as if my body had decided I was no longer omega after all. I convinced myself it had been a mistake, a temporary phase. I stopped taking the pills and no one noticed the difference.
For four years, my life was perfect. I trained with my best friends, lived without the constant fear of being discovered, and although I never confessed my feelings to Adrian, at least I could be near him every day. I was happy in a way I never thought would be possible.
Until Sara appeared.
Adrian found her during one of his routine patrols. A demon had kidnapped her father, and she had been fighting alone to rescue him when Adrian intervened. She was brave, determined, and obviously traumatized. Adrian, being Adrian, couldn't simply help her and leave. He brought her to the fortress.
At first we thought it would be temporary. But when Sara touched the identification crystal out of curiosity, the golden lights that surrounded her were unmistakable. Isis. She wasn't just a Bearer—she was the Bearer of one of the most powerful goddesses in the Egyptian pantheon.
And suddenly, it wasn't just the three of us anymore.
Sara was sweet, intelligent, and had access to real magic, not just enhanced physical abilities like the rest of us. Cali was fascinated with Sara's stories about the outside world. Adrian became protective of her in a way that hurt to see.
It's not that they were malicious in leaving me aside. It just happened. Conversations that stopped when I arrived. Magic training where I couldn't participate because I had no identifiable magical abilities. Plans that were made without including me because they assumed I wouldn't be interested.
I was becoming invisible again, just like in Ra-Ma-Tec. The difference was that this time it hurt a thousand times more because I knew what I was losing.
That's when Sara suggested they needed help with more advanced magic. She knew someone, she said. A warlock who could teach them things that books couldn't.
Kaius.
Kaius was everything I didn't know I was looking for. He was confident without being arrogant, intelligent without being condescending, and had this way of looking at me as if he could see directly through all my defenses to who I really was underneath it all.
He was also incredibly attractive, but that was almost secondary compared to how he made me feel when we were together.
He was the son of a greater demon—Beelzebub—though that didn't mean much to me at that moment. What mattered was that when Kaius looked at me, I felt seen in a way I had never experienced before. Not as Cali's younger brother, or Adrian's best friend, or the Bearer without an identified god. Just as Alexander.
The flirting began almost immediately. Kaius had this way of making comments that sounded casual but made me blush furiously. And for the first time in my life, I decided to be brave and reciprocate.
It worked. After weeks of sexual tension that could be cut with a knife, we finally kissed one night after a particularly intense training session. It was perfect. He was perfect.
We started dating in secret at first—not because we were ashamed, but because I wanted to have something that was just mine before the rest of the world had opinions about it. Kaius understood. He also valued his privacy.
For three months, I was happier than I had been in my entire life. I had someone who knew me, who accepted me, who made me feel like I was worth loving. Even when Adrian and Cali continued spending most of their time with Sara, it didn't bother me as much because I had Kaius.
Then Catharina decided to ruin everything.
Catharina was Kaius's ex—a powerful witch who apparently hadn't gotten over their breakup. She arrived at the fortress one night with tears in her eyes and an elaborate story about how I had been manipulating Kaius, using some kind of seduction magic to control him.
It was an absolute lie. I didn't even have identifiable magic, much less seduction magic. But Catharina was convincing, and she had fabricated evidence that backed up her claims.
What hurt most was how quickly Kaius believed I was guilty.
He didn't ask for my version. He didn't give me the chance to defend myself. He simply showed up in my room that same night, accused me of having manipulated him, and broke up with me on the spot.
"I thought you were different," he told me, and the disappointment in his voice was like a dagger to the chest. "I thought you really loved me."
I tried to explain, to make him understand that it was all lies, but he had already made his decision. He left without looking back.
But that wasn't the worst part.
The worst part was that when I ran to Adrian, Cali, and even my parents for support, to ask them to help me prove my innocence, they all looked at me with that same expression of disappointment.
They all believed Catharina.
"Alexander," Dad told me with that voice he used when he was deeply disappointed, "we know you've been struggling with complicated feelings. If you used magic to... influence the situation with Kaius, you need to admit it so we can help you."
"I didn't use any magic," I told them, my voice breaking. "I don't even know what kind of magic I have. You know that."
But in their eyes I could see they had already decided I was guilty. Adrian, my best friend, the boy I had loved silently for years, looked at me as if he didn't know me.
"Maybe you should take some time to reflect," was all he said before leaving.
Even Cali, my own sister, turned her back on me.
And now I'm here. Alone in my room at three in the morning, confined—I can only go out on missions and when they release me. Here I am wondering how the people who were supposed to love me could abandon me so easily. Wondering what I did wrong to deserve this.
Wondering if maybe everyone is right and there's something fundamentally broken in me.
The pain in my chest is physical, as if someone had decided to tear out my heart very slowly. I can't stop crying, and part of me wonders if I'll ever be able to trust anyone again after this.
But there's something else, something that scares me as much as the abandonment. Since Kaius accused me, since my family decided to believe a stranger instead of me, I've been feeling something growing inside me. Something hot and furious and powerful.
Something that whispers that I don't have to accept this. That I don't have to stay here being treated as if I were invisible.
Something that whispers that maybe it's time for the world to discover exactly how powerful Alexander Rasis can be when he has nothing left to lose.
But that's a story for tomorrow. Tonight, I just need to cry until I fall asleep and hope that things look different in the morning.
Though something tells me they won't.