Siya's POV
Yesterday was terrible. Like, the kind of terrible that makes you overthink even when you swear you won't.
For a while, I thought maybe Shela was right—that the whole class would think wrong about me. But guess what? They didn't. At least not today.
And Era… she was right. Everything actually feels normal now.
After thinking a lot last night, I came to one clear conclusion:
The person I'm being linked with knows the truth.
He knows I don't like him that way.
So what's the issue?
Let others think whatever they want.
I know I'm not wrong.
And that's enough.
So yes, Siya is fine.
Finally, Ruby came—my new benchmate. Or maybe I'm her new benchmate.
She used to sit alone. Now I share her space.
The moment I sat down, she gave me that sarcastic look that screamed, "Why are you here?"
I smiled like a total idiot.
And then she started repeating the same line to her friends again and again, loud enough for me to hear—
> "Ugh, I was so happy sitting alone. Now I have to share my bench. Why me?"
I swear I wanted to roll my eyes so hard they'd disappear. But I didn't. I just smiled tighter and kept quiet.
Because honestly… what was I supposed to say?
It's weird. I'm surrounded by people, yet I've never felt this alone.
My friends are all far away—literally sitting in distant corners.
And Ayyan? He's in the last opposite row.
Between us, just one row.
But it feels like a border—like India and Pakistan.
Close enough to see, too far to cross.
And the worst part?
I can't even look at him freely anymore.
Even though I know I'm not wrong, even though I know the truth…
I can't risk it. Because if I start doing the same old things—looking, smiling, talking—people will think wrong.
So yeah, I'm just trying to focus on my studies.
Just trying to pretend it doesn't hurt.
But God, this Ruby!
She's the most irritating person alive.
Always picking fights—
"Can you please maintain some distance?"
"Why are your books so out?"
"I need more space!"
Like girl, if the bench was any bigger, I'd move to another classroom!
Sometimes I feel like crying—not because of what people think, but because… I have no one.
And when I try to talk to Vani ma'am about Ruby, she always takes Ruby's side.
Indirectly, of course.
Because, of course, Ruby's one of her "good students."
I hate both of them sometimes.
Everything's irritating.
Everything's loud.
Everything's too much.
And in the middle of all this mess, I just miss her.
Anisha.
My anchor. My person.
When will she come back?
Life feels so disgusting without her.
Every day feels the same—lonely, suffocating, exhausting.
Like I'm stuck on repeat.
And yet, I still wake up and say,
> "Good morning, God. Be good to me today."
Because maybe one day, He actually will.