Ivan finally dragged himself out of the bathroom, his body slick with heat, every inch flushed with a fever that refused to burn out.
His cock was the worst of it.. swollen, throbbing red, the skin hypersensitive from how relentlessly he had stroked it.
But the ache was drowned beneath the flood of pleasure that kept forcing his hand back down, again and again.
Axel's body haunted him, every image sweeter, crueler than the last. The moment Axel flashed across his mind, the rush hit.. blood pounding, nerves lighting up, a helpless groan spilling as his hand tightened.
Every stroke dragged him higher, every release cracked through him like lightning, leaving his legs weak and his chest heaving.
He came until he couldn't anymore, until he was left trembling.
That was why Ivan told himself he was desperate for his mate. He needed her, needed the bond, or he would begin to lose himself.
It wasn't an excuse, he knew the truth. An alpha who went past twenty without touching their mate began to unravel. Ivan could feel it already. His control was slipping. His instincts burned hotter by the day, and he knew he was losing ground.
What he didn't expect was how far his wolf and his body would fall, so far that they would ache for a man.
It almost felt like Axel was his mate. Almost. But that couldn't be possible. First of all, there was no scent. If Axel truly carried the bond, Ivan would have smelled it immediately.
And maybe Axel hadn't lied, maybe he was an alpha, no matter how fragile his body appeared. And the fact that he was an alpha.. it proved the truth too.. there were never bonds between male alphas.
The moon goddess would never bind two alphas. And above all, why would she ever bind him to a man, when he had never shown the slightest interest in them?
Humiliation already weighed on his shoulders. He didn't need any more. His family had reminded him enough. His younger brother had found his mate before him and claimed a stronger rank... a beta.
Ivan was left behind, still searching. If anyone even suspected he had a male mate, the whispers would turn to open contempt. The only way a male bond could exist was if one of them was omega. Which meant if Axel were his mate, then Axel would be an omega.
If it had been a female omega, he wouldn't have minded much. But a male? No. He would pray day and night for that fated match to never come for him.
And more than that.. Male omegas never conceived. That would mean no heir. And without an heir, there was no way his father would ever hand him leadership of the pack.
So no matter what signs flickered around Axel, no matter what his body reacted to, Ivan swore to himself there was no chance. Axel was not his mate.
He needed to find the one who was. He told himself he had already found her. All he had to do now was meet her. It didn't matter if she was omega. At least she wasn't male.
Ivan crossed to the bed, ignoring the pants he should have put on. He didn't want fabric brushing against the raw ache of his cock.
The sheets were cool when he stretched across them, but they didn't ease him. He stared at the ceiling, restless, wishing sleep would drag him away.
He had taken the pills earlier, but tonight they refused to work. The hours pushed past midnight, yet his mind would not stop circling.
His thoughts pressed heavy on the problems surrounding him. He knew it wasn't just about finding his mate to feed this unbearable need in his body, or even to claim the position as the next alpha of the pack. It was more than that. He was fading. He could feel it.
That kind of weakness was no secret. Every alpha knew it. Those who reached their early twenties without finding their mates began to decay.
Their strength, speed, sharpened senses, their ability to heal.. all the gifts of their blood began to slip away.
Even their aura of dominance weakened.
Age caught them faster than it should, wearing them down before their prime. And worse, they began losing control over their transformations. Some couldn't shift when they needed to. Others shifted without warning, their bodies betraying them until one day, they couldn't turn back into their human body at all.
Since Ivan had crossed twenty, sleep had abandoned him. Every time the thought surfaced, that his time was running out, that he was already fading, it ripped away all rest. Restlessness coiled inside him until it strangled every quiet moment.
At some point he decided to break the rules, he knew searching for a mate beyond the academy was forbidden. His father had made that rule himself.
But Ivan had broken it. Again and again, he had left, hunting for her, desperate to find what he needed before it was too late, but every time, he came back empty-handed.
When searching in person failed him, he turned to the one thing he despised. Technology. Social media. Dating apps.
None of it belonged to him, he had no patience for the shallow world of online profiles. But desperation didn't leave him a choice. He searched anyway, chasing even the faintest chance of a connection.
And he had found one.
Chloe.
And now... No one was going to convince him otherwise. She was his mate. He felt it in his bones, in the instincts that guided every choice.
Apart from the pull that had sparked the moment they spoke, he simply liked her. Simply loved her. He loved everything she showed him of herself.
She told him she was seventeen now, and that didn't matter. He would wait that one year if it meant she was truly his. As long as he knew she was out there, that she belonged to him, he could bear the wait.
He knew she had feelings for him too. He had seen it, clear in their interactions when things between them were good, when they spoke every day and it felt like the bond had already been sealed.
That was before she began to pull away. Before she started lying. She had claimed she found her mate, but she wasn't even of age.
Ivan clenched his jaw at the thought. Something was wrong. Something was making her hesitant, twisting her away from him. He would find out what. He would not let her slip through his hands.
Still, the fear gnawed at him. He couldn't stop worrying that she would deny their meeting again, turn him down before he could even see her face to face. His instincts whispered of it, heavy and constant, and the not-knowing drove him wild.
He wished he could just find her, take her even against her will, just to end this torment. He had tried. He had hunted her. But every trail ended in nothing. He came back alone each time, his wolf more restless, his heart more broken.
So maybe the natural way wasn't going to work. Maybe fate wasn't going to hand her to him.
If not, then he would find another way. Technology could be more than messages. He would use it to track her down wherever she hid.
Because he had no choice.
He needed her. And if he didn't find her soon, he knew he would lose everything ..his control, his strength, his birthright, his future. And maybe even himself.