As one would say, "Out of the frying pan into the fire." I'm the proud recipient of a Dum Dum sticker now, and I'm probably also the only person in the world who can remember the pain of their head getting squeezed through a 6-inch birth canal. This was stupid, I was foolish, the "let's fight on blacktop" type of dumb. I'm not even out of the womb and I'm crying like a bitch, HOW DO BABIES DEAL WITH THIS PAIN!
I actually managed to eventually go unconscious from the pain, a veiled blessing in disguise. In my dreams, I'm peacefully floating, whimsical, free, happy, nothing could take this happiness away from me... As I float in endless darkness in complete contention
FUCK-
The sudden flash of bright light, loud sound, and cold air of the outside world brings me back to realizing this is a cruel world where I will own no happiness and be in constant sorrow. As such I resume crying like a whipped monkey... Not because I'm scared of pain, but because it is aptly expected of me to cry like a baby after being born...
Doctor: "Congratulations, Mrs. Yuuma... Your child is a boy, and by the looks of it, he will be quite the handsome man when he grows up. Take my professional advice and sign him up for acting or being a male super model because most babies i deliver come out wrinkled and saggy like this old man." hoh hoh hoh "Maybe this is an effect of his quirk? Though usually his quirk wouldn't materialize until 4 to 5 years old."
Nurse: "Hmm, this baby is a bit of a quiet cryer, let's give him a bit of a love tap..."
WAP-
WAAAAAAHHHH THIS BITCH HIT ME
Nurse: "Umu, that's more like it... the sound of youth. They say if you love your job, you'll feel as if you never worked a day in your life."
The doctor and the nurse both bob their heads up and down like smacking a newborn child on its ass to open up its lungs was the most natural thing ever to do.
"Hahh hahh", Amane Yuuma breathes labored breaths after her 8-hour-long battle of birthing her newborn child. She lovingly receives her son into her arms after the doctor and nurse clean the child and wrap him in a stork wrapping.
Amane whispering: "Fu Fu, You really are beautiful, like a little angel cherubin, I wouldve mistaken you for a few months old girl if I knew you weren't mines', my love." "Maybe that's why it took so long to bring you into this world, it takes time for god to mold perfection..." 'Smooch'
Feeling the plush warmth of being kissed on the head, our MC slowly stops crying, resorting to faux teary hiccups...
"Ahh, This lady is she my mom in this world? She's beautiful, but she looks a bit too young, too young..."
Doctor: "Well, ma'am, excuse us for a second while you get acquainted with your newborn child. We will take our leave and be back with the appropriate documents for you and your child soon. Ms. Holga (nurse), let's go get ourselves a coffee or something while the missus bonds with her baby."
while walking away with doctor Nurse: "Alright, Dr. Athems, you held that baby so fondly, but you always say you don't want children, you're such a hypocrite fufufu."
Dr.Athems: "Dontchu look at me like that, we're still on the clock and must i remind you of our patient???"
"That birth was particularly long, we're definitely getting overtime... I'm happy we didn't have to resort to C-----"
The fading conversation, the outside wardroom chatter of hospital employees and patients, the buzzing cacophony of technology at work, the cars, train tracks, and truck noises outside faded away to only the loving but pained gaze of a mother and her newborn child...
Amane, teary-eyed eyed says:
"They said I only have a week to make my decision. The doctor was so kind to get us five days' worth of stay. That means we only have five nights together, my honey bunches of oats..."
Wait only five days for what? Dont tell me youre gonna mugunfph--
Amane turns on the TV gently breastfeeding her child, as time passes by, so does the topics of the daily news
Today's lottery numbe--
Daily weather foreca--
Daily Japan's arrested villains-skip
Amari MC: "Danggit Mom, I wanted to watch that."
Oh, I forgot to mention, I was so enamoured with the TV that I forgot I was being breastfed! I won't lick since I'm a good son, unlike certain other reincarnators.
A certain blonde-headed boy with an R at the beginning of his name sneezes...
Ok, back to me (MC) as my pov...
This tranquil atmosphere continued on for a few hours, maybe three, like the staff forgot we existed. I wonder where that doctor and his nurse went, hopefully not to do anything untoward of each other while on the job... Ughh, I don't want to be touched by them if that's the case! I'm too damn young, my immune system would probably explode!
As i come up for a second from breastfeeding, I see it! For some reason, I can see as a newborn child, and my mother has the biggest red flag of an anime hairstyle ever!!! DAMN, does this mean I'm fucked!?? But ROB wouldn't do this to me, right? Wait, it wasn't ROB that granted me this fate. It was some other shitty reincarnator that somehow got the rights to call the shots in the cycle of samsara, FUCK!
I NEED TO HAUL ASS OUTTA HERE!
Panicking, I pull up my system like it's a second instinct
"System, please save me, homie, use your magic to teleport me out of here!"
System- Divine SSS SLots System
Quirk: Flesh Metastasis ---Locked
Ability: Founder Titan/Misc --- Locked
hallucigenia--- Juvenile
Divine SLots Casino--- Locked
System applications--- Locked
Quest: Drink milk-Ounces: 1 point per ounce
3/1
You have 3 points, Do you want to use them. . . . .
NOOOooooo System, I asked for you to SAVE ME, not give me a status update!
System: "Status update"
System- Divine SS---
BAH! All I can hope for now is that my fears don't come true...
But on the other hand, I saw that it had points? What are points?
System: "Points are the fundamental lifeblood of the system, specifically the Divine SLots Casino. There, you can gacha for effectively anything you want, granted that the host has the required points. The system ranks draws upon a simple 5-tiered rarity: Trash tier, novice, mediocre, elite, and legendary. Each tier is exponentially cost points to draw...
"You currently have: 3 points"
The neutral female robotic voice of the system reverbed in my head while weirdly being able to hear what's going on in my actual surroundings.
Oh so now onto this "locked" situation. How would I unlock my powers?
System: "Since the host is too premature to wield his powers at this moment in time, the system has naturally locked most abilities at this point since use of the host's powers could cause an early dea---
Grand... just grand... You sit on your high horse about preventing my suicide, meanwhile, our mom is one cliche away from a gravestone. Just tell me how to unlock my powers!
System: "Host can unlock abilities by using the aforementioned 'points' explained to the host.
Ok then, how much does it cost to unlock each ability?
System:
Quirk: Flesh Metastasis ---Locked, cost ∞ points to unlock at this moment...
Ability: Founder Titan/Misc --- Locked cost ∞ points to unlock at this moment...
hallucigenia--- Juvenile --- Open for use at this moment
Divine SLots Casino--- Locked, Cost 1 point to unlock
System applications--- Locked, Cost 1 point to unlock
huh infinity? How'd i know you were gonna pull that stunt... Plus, I already have an ability unlocked? hallucigenia? Is that what I think it is, system?
System: "Affinitive, the hallucigenia is the white parasite you know from Attack on Titan that granted the main cast, most notably the Titan Tree and Ymir herself, the power to shapeshift into a titan, beginning the AOT series as you know it."
That's cool asf despite the fact that i have a parasite that's in my spine, I guess.
How do I summon the hallucigenia?
System: "Just think about it"
OK
As I think about summoning my white worm (while still in my mother's arms, breastfeeding), I feel a cold tingle shoot through my body suddenly, as a cold dot seemingly incarnates at where my C7 vertebrae should be on my baby skeleton and travels down my neck as I will it past my shoulder blades and down my forearm to my fingers...
I take my left hand off my mother's chest while taking a not-so-subtle glance at the very tip of my fingers, expecting a long ass Whito Snaku to pop out of my finger and carry me away to safety, but...
I wait as seconds turn into minutes, looking at my already light caramel colored fingers, which shouldn't have any pigment yet as a newborn, despite being born hours ago.
I keep looking, brazenly bringing my baby hand closer to my horribly nearsighted eyes... My mother sees me looking at my left hand and gives me a slight chuckle, "Curious already, darling?" "You're already so intelligent, if only i could hold you forever..." Yeah, yeah, enough with the death flags, lady. WHERE IS MY WHITU SNAKUU?
As if I had a log in my eyes this whole time, I see a small white speck wiggle on the tip of my finger.
WAIT, THIS THING? IT'S SMALLER THAN DANDRUFF! There's NO WAY I CAN RUN AWAY WITH THIS THING!