the general called Naram took his new son(Shulmanu) in his arms, taking him to his home to feed him some food, hoping to make a great warrior out of him in the future, but still knowing to give him a good childhood instead of constant training, he placed Shulmanu on his table, confused on what to feed him
Naram: what do i feed you little guy?
Naram stood there waiting for him(shulmanu) to answer, but than realized babies say what they wanted
Naram: oh yea right, babies cant speak, how stupid am i...
Naram said while looking stressed at the baby he was holding, just than realizing what he got himself into
Naram: what should do i do with you..
he thought of an idea, and would leave the house to find a mother to teach him about raising a child, but than he realized while nearly out the house
Naram: oh yea, i almost forgot Shulmanu
he said quickly ran back to the bed he put Shulmanu, and started carrying him and went on his way, he looked for a while and than finally, he saw a group of mothers on a bench talking together with their babies on their laps sleeping, he quickly walked up to them and asked them
Naram: hey uh.. do you know what to feed your baby, I just recently became a father, actually.. I just became one today..
Mom 1: General Naram? since when did you have a child?
Mom 2: yeah, I dont remember you having a wife either
Naram: well, this might sound weird, but i found him in the streets of Babylon crying and everyone ignored his cries, so i took him home with me, it looked like his parents abandoned him sadly..
Mom 3: oh poor thing..
Naram: yea.. but anyway, what do i feed him, i am not an experienced father as you women probably know
Mom 2: well usually you would breastfeed him, your wife can do it
Naram: well i dont have a wife, so i dont know if i can do that for him..
Mom 1: cow milk, that is what i used if i didn't have any milk left, if you know what i mean
she said smiling at Naram, Naram looked weirded out, nodded than quickly walked to the markets, but luckily, the first market there had cow milk, and than after buying the cow milk he looked for diapers incase Shulmanu pooped himself, he took the milk and diapers home with Shulmanu who was not crying anymore in his other arm, they arrived home and Naram put the milk in a baby bottle and fed it to Shulmanu, after drinking the milk, Shulmanu quickly fell asleep and Naram put him on his bed to sleep some more, than Naram went to lay on the bed himself
Naram: Finally.. hes dealt with, i guess ill take some time for myself
The Goddesses, Ishtar and Ereshkigal would turn on their TV in the heavens and would watch what Zammaruk was up to, they both got baby fever after seeing him asleep as a baby
Ereshkigal: he is so cute!
Ishtar:I know right!! i just wanna go there and just keep pinching his cheeks
Ereshkigal:hey! we promised not to do anything to him so it stays a secret
Ishtar: ugh fine.. your so boring!
Ereshkigal: dont act annoyed! we agreed to these rules together!
Ishtar: alright, you are right, I promise not to intervene in his life as a weak "Human", but if he ever finds out, we should invite him to heaven again and retain his role of God of Wrath from Nergal, maybe he will even marry one of us
she said with heart eyes and her hand together next to her head, dreaming of the possible future of her and Zammaruk, Ereshkigal looked with a dissapointed look at her before punching her out of her fantasy land
Ereshkigal: stop thinking of things like this before you get too excited and actually do it
Ishtar: oh yeah.. your right
meanwhile back on earth in the Babylonian empire, Naram finally got rest after feeding Shulmanu/Zammaruk but than he heard Shulmanu crying again, he would stand back up and walk to see what was wrong with Shulmanu now, than he realized it stunk in the room, than he got disappointed when he realized Shulmanu pooped himself.
Naram: are you serious?... why did you have to poop yourself after I finally got some rest...
he would grab the diapers he bought from the market and attempted to clean Shulmanu and put the diapers on him, he looked surprised after he successfully did it on the first attempt, he threw the diaper with the poop in the trash and sprayed perfume in the room he was sleeping in
Naram: Thank the Gods that went well, now i can finally get some rest
before he went to sleep, he went to look at Shulmanu, saw him sleeping and smiled
Naram: "i am glad i did not leave you there to die, you will grow up to be a great warrior Shulmanu, but for now, he is just a cute little baby"
in heaven Ishtar and Ereshkigal continued to look at Naram and Shulmanu/Zammaruk sleeping
Ishtar: "oh my... this is so cute!"
Ereshkigal: "i know right! we should reward this Naram guy for taking good care of Zammaruk, or what hes now called "Shulmanu"
they both thought of an idea what to do, and than Ishtar got an idea
Ereshkigal: "ill talk to him in a dream and tell him he can have anything he wants for taking care of Zammaruk"
after that, Ereshkigal manipulated Naram's dream while he was napping and made his dream a white room with just him and Ereshkigal in it
Ereshkigal: "Hello Naram, firstly i want to thank you for taking care of Baby Zammaruk or how you know him as, "Shulmanu", i am so thankful that i am willing to give anything you want, money? leadership of a kingdom? anyting, just say and ill do it"
Naram: "i am honored Ereshkigal, but i dont need anything, i see raising him as a reward itself"
Ereshkigal looked confused but smiled seeing Zammaruk was under good hands and than told Naram
Ereshkigal: "Are you sure? with anything i mean it"
Naram: "yes i am sure"
he said with confidence, Ereshkigal nodded and than made it so he woke up, and than Naram woke up, seeing Baby Shulmanu still quietly asleep next to him.